Katniss' Downfall Previously ANYTHING BUT LOVE
by MorphlingInTheSoap
Summary: **PREVIOUSLY ANYTHING BUT LOVE** When Prim gets sent into the arena during the Quarter Quell, Katniss, a hunger games mentor, must do anything she can to try to help her sister- even if it means that she has to work side-by-side with her biggest enemy. The sequel to Cato's Obsession.
1. A Visit to the Capitol

**This is a sequel to my other story Cato's Obsession. If you haven't read that one, go and read it before you start this one!**

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Chapter 1— A Visit to the Capitol

I shield my eyes against the blinding lights. I fidget nervously in my chair as people run around me, doing last minute things before the interview begins. I study the heavy curtain in front of me and I know that it protects me from the thousands of people on the other side. People who don't care about me personally—they only care about my story, they just want gossip. The thought of it makes me sick and I long for the safety of district 12. I long for the safety of Peeta's arms.

I shake my head at the thought. No, I can't think like that anymore. My unborn child changes all of that. Peeta wanted to be with me but I just couldn't think about that anymore. Having Cato's child changes everything. Every day, I am going to be reminded of Cato when I look into my child's eyes and I don't want that for Peeta. At home, I had been trying to keep my distance for him. Being close to him was too dangerous because something attracted me to him and the last thing I wanted to do was lead him on.

I shuffle in my seat and rub my hands against my dress pants. I'm not wearing a dress because Cinna claims that it could draw too much attention to my stomach. Instead, I am wearing a flowing top that hugs my chest tightly and flows around my stomach, hiding any bulge that is there.

My baby bulge isn't even noticeable but I want to be on the safe side and Cinna agrees that it's better to be safe than sorry. Because I had lost so much weight before the pregnancy that the added weight helps me fit into the clothes I wore before the games. Sickness still haunts me every morning and when I encounter certain smells. The smell of popcorn guaranteed a trip to the bathroom, along with eggs and bacon. Some foods, I couldn't get enough of though. Turkey and gravy was one of them. Business at the Hob was booming from all the cravings I was having because I seemed to be craving all the illegal game that was sold there.

The lights flicker on and off back stage, signaling that the show was going to start soon. I spot Caesar Flickerman off stage. He waves at me and gives me a small, sad smile. I frown, what was that about?

A shadow falls over me and I gasp. I look up but the light behind the figure blacks it out so I can't make out who is front of me. The figure moves and I flinch away in fear but it simply sits beside. My breath catches in my throat as I take in President Coin's serious face. Her hair hangs in straight sheets to her shoulders and her grey eyes pierce me to where I am sitting.

"Katniss, I can't stay long but I felt it necessary to come and talk to you before your interview. Now listen up because I don't have time for chit chat." She doesn't wait for a response from me and keeps going. "During this interview, you are not to say anything that will make Cato look badly. As far as everyone is concerned, you have forgiven him and you guys are actually friends. They are not to know any details about him beating you or raping you, do you understand me?"

I stare at her in shock. "You've got to be kidding me," I fairly shout at her. She looks at me coolly and I can tell that she is most definitely not kidding. "You do realize that they aren't stupid, right? They know I wasn't there on vacation, they know I was held there against my will. It's safe to assume that they have figured it out that he raped me—that my stay with him wasn't rainbows and butterflies."

"Yes, that is true but you are not to talk about it—I don't want the public to turn against him anymore than they already have. It's already bad enough as it is," she says and I lift my brows in surprise—why does the pubic hate Cato? I don't have time to think about it though because Coin is still talking. "I know that negative feelings towards a game victor bring about negative opinions about the games themselves."

I laugh at her. "I don't think you need negative feelings about the victor for there to be negative feelings towards the games. There isn't a district out there that likes the games," I declare, my chin rising in defiance.

Coin's eyes dart around the stage. I can see anger in them and I swallow thickly, knowing that I've crossed a line.

"You're lucky that no one is close enough to hear your treachery. Now listen here you brat. You better watch what you say because if you mess this up, I'll make sure that something bad happens to that little sister of yours."

Cold dread settles in my stomach and I nod woodenly.

She stands up and brushes at her skirts. "Oh and one last thing: I have changed my mind about this whole interview thing. Cato and you _will_ be having an interview together along with some public appearances. I do hope you are able to act appropriately," she sniffs delicately and walks away, her body guards tripping eagerly after her.

I shoot to my feet and blindly stumble back stage. I walk without seeing, nausea cramping my stomach even though I had taken the medicine my mom had sent with me. I stumble around; unaware of what is going on around me. One thing reverberates through me: escape. I need to escape. I can't let Cato find out about my pregnancy—I can't go back and live with him. I have to protect baby Gale.

The lights flicker wildly above me, signaling the impending start of the show, but I don't pay them much attention. I need to get away. I can hear my name being called all around me and I try to stick to the shadows—I don't know where I'm going but all I know is that I have to protect my baby—my little Gale. I feel the floor vibrate and my ears are filled with the pounding of footsteps. I see a huge group of peacekeepers come jogging around a corner and straight at me and I know I'm doomed. I simply stop walking and wait as they gain on me. They roughly grab my arms and drag me back on stage and shove me down into my seat.

Caesar Flickerman gasps and swats at the peacekeepers.

"Really, was that necessary?" he grouches at them as they file off stage. The lights flicker one last time and I hear someone start to countdown. The heavy red curtains lift and I'm blinded even further by the lights on the other side of the curtain. I hear a roar of applause and Caesar stands up, grinning and put his hands in the air as he tries to get the audience to be quiet.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you Katniss Everdeen!" Caesar Flickerman laughs and his blue eyes sparkle delightfully as he sweeps his hands at me. His blue hair is slicked back and his teeth shine brilliantly every time he smiles—which is at the end of every sentence.

"Katniss Everdeen. The Girl on Fire. Tell me, Katniss, how was your trip to the Capitol?"

I force a smile on my face. "It was great. Especially the food—there is just something about Capitol food that I just love," I say.

It's a lie—the trip was absolutely awful. The rocking of the train in addition to the strong smelling Capitol food kept me sick the entire time and even my mother's medicine wouldn't help. The only respite I got is when I would somehow manage to drift off to sleep for a couple of hours. Effie and Whytt had argued the whole time and Haymitch disappeared so I couldn't even vent to him. Luckily, once we arrived at the Capitol, we were escorted to the training center and up to the 12th floor. I had been given a day to rest and relax. I decided to use that time for sleep. I had slept for over twelve hours and was finally woken when Cinna and my prep crew showed up to get me ready for my interview.

"Yes, the food is good—a little too good. Just ask my stylist. He always has to expand my waistline every couple of months because I gain so much weight." The crowd laughs and I join in just to be polite. I know that's not true. Flickerman has been doing these interviews for _years_ and he still looks exactly the same as he did the first time he ever did one.

"So Katniss, tell me how has life been treating you since the hunger games?" We lock eyes and I can see sympathy in his. I take a deep breath and clench my hands in my lap as I lie.

"Life has been great. I've really just been enjoying myself at home," I mumble unconvincingly. I hear a few whispers in the crowd and I know that I need to do better—for Prim's sake.

Caesar frowns slightly—so slightly that I'm not even sure if he really did or not.

"Tell me Katniss, how good did it feel to see your sister after everything you had gone through?"

I look at him, anger lighting my eyes. His eyes are full of knowledge and I know that he is only trying to help me out.

"It was heaven," I whisper and Caesar leans forward so he can hear me. "As soon as I held her, I knew that everything I had gone through had been worth it—I had done it all for Prim. It was the best thing in the world to get to see her, to touch her, to brush her hair out of her eyes. It was perfect and I wouldn't give it up for anything. In fact, I would go through it all again for her," I declare and the truth of my statement rings through the air and I can hear sentimental gasps in the crowd along with some applause.

I straighten in my seat, my chin lifting. Caesar smiles softly and reaches out to gently touch my hand. He knows how hard this is for me. He gives me a significant look and squeezes my hand- I know that he's warning me for whatever is coming next.

"Now, Katniss, let's get to what many people are wondering about. Let's talk about you and Cato, shall we?"

The crowd roars in response and Caesar smiles brilliantly. My face drains of all color and my hands start to shake. Here comes the lies that matter—for Prim I have to be convincing. He turns to me.

"Okay, Katniss, tell us about Cato." I frown as I replay Coin's warning in my head.

"What would you like to know?" I ask uneasily.

Caesar grins and turns towards the audience he lifts his hands in the air, "well what would you guys like to know?" he shouts and crowd goes crazy as everyone shouts at him. I try to peer out at the crowd but the lights beating down on me blind me. I can feel the heat from them and I feel sweat beading up on my forehead.

Caesar laughs and turns to me. "Let's see. Tell us, does he snore?"

The crowd laughs and I know he's just trying to provide them with some entertainment. I know that Cato doesn't snore but I play along by nodding my head aggressively.

"Oh, it's awful," I say with a look of horror on my face. "I could never sleep a wink next to him," I proclaim. Caesar looks astounded.

"Really? Now tell me how did it sound?"

I look at him with wide eyes. "You want me to reenact it?"

"Or I could," he insists and I laugh.

"I'll give you the honor," I say and he gives me a mock bow.

"Thank you, my dear," he says and then starts to imitate different bizarre snores that has the crowd and me roaring with laughter. Once the laughter dies down, Caesar sighs deeply and turns back to me.

"Now Katniss, I'm going to ask the question everyone is dying to know… How do you feel about Cato now?"

I rub my hands down my face in frustration. This was almost torture—being asked these questions but not being able to respond truthfully. I want to get up, to scream that he is a monster—that he raped me and beat me. That he took everything from me and all I was left with was his unwanted child in my womb but I don't.

"I think he's a great guy," I say and my voice sounds off and a hushed whisper works its way through the crowd. Caesar's eye brow quirks up and I know that no one is buying it. I decide that the truth is the only way to go. "I missed him after I went home," I say more quietly and the crowd stills. They can hear the awful truth in my voice. I know this and it makes me sick.

"I'm sure you did. Have you guys spoken since you left?"

"Yeah, we've talked a couple of times," I smile for the audience's benefit. "He even attended one of my district celebrations. We had a blast together," I say and the last sentence comes out cracked and weak. Tension is thick in the air and I know that I'm not doing a good job.

Caesar makes an understanding noise and I bite my lip, dropping my head. I can't handle this.

"So tell me, Katniss, what is the biggest difference in your life now that you've been home for a while?"

I frown, trying to think of a way to answer this question without stepping on Coin's toes. My hands unknowingly reach to caress my stomach. Caesar narrows his eyes at me, shock on his face. The blood drains from my face.

"I see things differently now," I whisper and try to make it look like I'm simply scratching my stomach. He nods but I can see the knowing glint in his eyes.

"Like what?" he presses and I answer without thinking.

"Like, nowadays, I can see much more plainly how valuable human life is," I say and my declaration hangs ominously in the air. The silence is awful and I know I've done something terribly wrong. Prim's face pops into my head and I'm speaking again. "It's just that I love my sister so much, and after everything, I realized how much I truly value her," I say hoping this will explain away my bizarre statement. Caesar, luckily, plays along.

"It's interesting that it took you going to the hunger games to see that when everyone could see how much you loved her from the very start," Caesar says and the crowd agrees. He clears his throat and smiles. "Well thank you for your time, Katniss. We look forward to talking to you tomorrow with Cato." The crowd erupts into applause and I sit there stunned—I had just messed that up. The curtain drops to lay heavily on the stage and as soon as it hits the floor, I am up and in Caesar's face.

"Please, don't tell anyone about the baby," I beg and he stares at me in shock.

"No, I won't," he promises and I actually believe him. People rush around us and I step away from him, shaking my head.

"How bad was I?" I ask and he gives me a sad look.

"Well, you're no actress," he comments drolly. "The only advice I can give you is for you to try to make up for it in the next interview," he comments. He gets up, stretches and walks off the stage. I sink slowly back to the couch and cradle my head in my hands.

I hear Effie's staccato heels clicking towards me and I grip my hair tightly in my clenched hands.

"Katniss, dear, come now, we have to go get you ready for your appearance," she says simply and I'm surprised that she isn't yelling at me.

"What? No yelling for messing up the interview?" I ask sarcastically.

"No, dear. I know you tried your best and I'm guessing that you know what is at stake here. Knowing that, I'm hoping that you can make up for this little error with the upcoming appearances and interview."

I get up and follow her back stage and into a dressing room where Cinna and his prep crew are waiting. I roll my eyes.

"Do we really need to start all over again this time? Can't we just change my outfit and leave my hair and makeup alone?"

Flavius, Octavia, and Venia look absolutely shocked—like they have never thought of something so simple before. Cinna laughs.

"No, Katniss, we have to start all over. I also got word from Coin that she doesn't think you're dressed up enough—I'm sorry, Katniss, but we're going to have to put you in some dresses."

I groan and clench my fists together. "Well, hopefully people just think that I'm gaining a little weight—I mean it really just looks like extra fat at this point.

The prep team works quickly to undo all the work they had done earlier in the day. Luckily, putting myself back together was easier because they didn't have to do body scrubs or waxing all over.

In the end, I'm wearing a yellow dress that hugs my chest and starts to flow out just above my waist. I think it does a good job of partially hiding what is going on with me. The dress has a bow that decorates my chest and it has a short sleeved jacket that exposes my back and has a high neck. On the edges is some black lace trim. My hair has been taken from its normal braid and put into tight ringlets that fall past my shoulders.

Haymitch enters the room and I laugh at his appearance. He still looks like the same, drunk Haymitch but he's wearing nice clothes and not ones stained with his vomit and they don't reek of alcohol. His face is still unshaven although it does look like they have at least trimmed his growth.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" he asks I'm surprised that it smells like he hasn't drank at all today. That's got to be a first.

Before dinner, Haymitch and I have to go to town square to meet some citizens of the Capitol—this is a time for pictures, small talk, and autographs. Because Haymitch and I are hunger game victors, I realize almost right away that Cato will be there too along with his mentor Brutus.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Just make sure he doesn't get me alone, Haymitch. We can't let him find out about this," I say as I rub my stomach tenderly.

"I don't think he will have a chance to get near you but of course I'll keep my eye out for you... You know that."

I nod and then we're off. The weather outside is cool and the air smells sweet. The beauty of the day makes me want to rub my hands over baby Gale but I don't because it's at that time that I see Cato. He is already among the crowd, talking to a group of girls. The girls are hanging all over him, giggling and begging him to flex and do other retarded poses. A soon as he sees me though, he ignores them. A slow grin stretches across his face as he takes in the sight of me.

Whytt steps out of the building and joins me. He grabs my elbow and starts to lead me down the stairs. Cato's face darkens at the sight.

Cameras click wildly and a swarm of people surge forward, all talking at once. I back up, scared by their excitement. Whytt steps in front of me and the hoard stops but the cameras still flash furiously at me, making spots dance in my vision.

I talk to what seems like hundreds of people and I sign even more autographs. The people don't ask any hard questions, they ask ones that I can easily lie about: How are you doing Katniss? How is Prim? Are you happy to see Cato again? I lie through my teeth and I can see Effie standing on the steps of the training center smiling in approval. Someone comes up to her and talks to her animatedly and motions to me and Whytt. Effie frowns, nods her head and starts to head towards us.

"Whytt, I need your help inside," she whispers when she draws near us. Whytt looks at me with concern.

"Don't worry, Whytt, Haymitch is still here. I'll be fine and you'll probably be back before this is over with."

He nods his head briefly and with a glower at Cato, disappears into the building with Effie. The minutes drag on and I start to get uncomfortable when neither of them return within thirty minutes.

I feel Cato's eyes on me the entire time this is going on but I keep my back to him. Haymitch and Brutus finish with their supporters long before I am even close to being done. I watch in horror as Brutus drags Haymitch back into the training center. I want to yell out to Haymitch but the ever-present cameras around me prevent me from doing so. A quick glance at my line shows five more people. I take a quick peek over my shoulder at Cato and see that he only has two more.

I'm on the second to last person when I feel him behind me. The color drains from my face and the girl I am currently signing a picture for grabs it from my hand and starts to back away. The person behind her follows her lead and my heart drops into my stomach. This cannot be good.

"May I escort you to dinner, Katniss?" Cato asks softly and goose bumps spread wildly across my body. I tense up and search for someone who can help me. The camera men are there, recording and I feel a little better, knowing that Cato won't hurt me with cameras recording—I hope so at least.

I look at Cato and am instantly struck with just how handsome he is. His blond hair is spiked and his blue eyes roam over my face hungrily. I see a camera man behind Cato's black get closer and I know that I need to make nice with him.

"That would be lovely," I whisper in response to his question. He holds his arm out to me, gesturing me to put my arm through his. I take a deep breath and take his arm. Electricity zings through my arm and is followed by a slow burning but quickly building fire. My heart beats spastically in my chest and my stomach does a flip flop.

"I like that dress. It really looks good on you now that you're back to your normal weight," he says, blowing his scent in my face. It's pure torture. My body wants to get as far away from him but I know I can't without causing a scene.

"Thanks," I murmur and look at my feet. My heart beats unevenly in my chest and fear spreads through me. I hope he doesn't look too closely at me and realize what the weight really is.

Silence falls between us and I'm aware of the camera crew getting closer and closer. I panic and blurt the first thing that comes to mind.

"So who is going to be at this dinner anyway?"

Cato laughs softly and looks down at me.

"Are you nervous, Kat?" he sneers and my heart stops for a second. I glance around quickly.

"Cato, please just go with it. I've already messed up my first interview and Coin threatened Prim. I need to convince people that I don't hate you," I whisper, hating the fact that I need his help. He nods but I can see something evil lurking in his eyes.

"Flickerman, the mentors, the escorts, game makers, and us, I think," he says and looks around before we enter the building.

"What about Thorn?" I ask.

"He's dead," he says flatly and I grow cold inside.

"Dead?"

"Yes, Katniss, dead," he growls and I just know it.

"It was you," I whisper and he laughs.

"You know how hard it is for me to control my temper," he says simply and unfeelingly and looks around again.

I notice then that the camera crew is farther away than I had thought. As we step into the cool building, his grip on me tightens and he pulls me quickly and forcefully down one of the halls that lead off of the main lobby. I open my mouth to scream but he covers it.

"Shh, Katniss. You don't want anyone to hear us do you?" He whispers and I try to scream again but it just comes out mumbled against his unyielding hand.

He drags me down the hall and pushes me into a vacant room. I turn to face him, my heart beating wildly. I want to rip his throat out, to hurt him before he can get the chance to hurt my baby but I know that I'm not strong enough.

"Cato, please. Let's just go to dinner. You don't need to do this," I plead and he grins as he walks towards me.

He reaches out and caresses my face. At first I stiffen but when I see the anger in his eyes, I know that I need to play by his rules—for my baby. I inhale and leaning into his touch. His hands slide into my hair and he grabs a fist full.

"Katniss," he whispers and he yanks down, causing me to cry out. I know he's going to kiss me and I have plenty of time to pull away but I don't.

His lips are gentle at first—I think from the shock of me not fighting him. When he realizes this, he growls in his throat and his teeth bite painfully at my bottom lip. I cry out in pain and he chuckles darkly.

We here commotion outside and I hear my name being called—they are looking for me. Relief sweeps through me and Cato curses.

He looks down at me and I can see danger and anger boiling in his bright blue eyes. His fingers trace my cheek and my lips and I can see lust on his face. His eyes grow dark. I hear footsteps go past the room and he sighs regretfully.

"Unfortunately, we have an event that we can't miss or else this wouldn't be the end," he says as he steps away from me, an annoyed look on his face. I'm shocked that he is giving up but I don't question it as he drags me from the room and towards the dining room.

The room is grand—grander than anything I have ever seen. There is a crystal chandelier hanging above the table, it shines dazzling in the lights and throws tiny little rainbows throughout the room. The floor is polished marble and I swear that I can almost make my reflection out in the shiny surface. There is a long table in the center with eight places setting on it. Along the perimeter of the room are marble statues standing proudly and on the far wall is a huge portrait of President Coin.

Dinner is a torturous affair. I am forced to sit by Cato and the entire night, his hands traces up and down my thigh under my dress. Effie and Meeka, Cato's tribute escort, are fast friends and spend the entire dinner exchanging horror stories about having to deal with troublesome tributes. From what I am able to observe, Meeka is as selfish and self-absorbed as Effie is. While they chatter pleasantly to each other, Haymitch and Brutus seem to be in a race to see who can get the drunkest the fastest and their conversation grows louder and louder with every drink they down. Next to me, the two game makers that are in attendance are quietly discussing events for the next hunger games and they pay absolutely no attention to anyone else. I try to listen in on their conversation but they voices are too hushed. Sitting across from me, Caesar Flickerman is the only person at the table who is acting normal.

He spends most of the dinner chatting to Cato about politics and impressive kills he did in the hunger games. Cato effortlessly chats back to him while he tortures me under the table. He slowly makes his way closer and closer to the juncture between my legs. Many times I have to reach down and put my hands on top of his so that he won't go any farther. Each time I do this; he chuckles softly and moves his hand back down only to start slowly dragging it back up again.

Caesar doesn't notice anything amiss and he turns his attention to me.

"Mockingjays are just so interesting," he gushes and I nod distractedly.

"I've heard a little rumor, Katniss, that when you sing, the birds fall silent just so they can listen… Tell me, is that true?"

"Uh, not so dramatically, but yes, they do seem kind of fond of my singing voice," I say and then squirm away from Cato. His eyes narrow dangerously at me but Flickerman distracts him.

"Cato, tell me, have you ever heard her sing?"

Cato's hand stops his ascent and I shove it down my leg once again.

"No, I haven't… we are usually busy doing other things," he says and grins wickedly at me. I blush and look at my plate.

The food is amazing here. They serve some kind of bird with thick gravy and despite Cato's maddening touch, I've eaten two servings by the time everyone else is finishing their first. Cato eyes me with a weird look on his face.

"I don't think I have ever seen you eat so much," he comments and I blush nervously.

"Hmm… well, I'm sorry but I didn't really have an appetite when I was staying with you," I say simply.

As our dinner plates are removed and dessert plates are placed in front of us, Haymitch is so drunk that when an avonx comes to refill his glass, he grabs onto it and starts to yell. All heads turn to him and Cato uses this distraction as a chance to talk to me. He leans over and I'm frozen in my chair.

"Katniss," he whispers and I shiver as his breath moves the hair next to my ear, tickling me. His hand goes farther up my leg and I start to squirm. He grips my thigh harshly and I understand that he's warning me to stay still.

My eyes dart about the room, trying to get someone's attention but everyone is staring at Haymitch who is now having a tug-of-war battle with the avonx over his glass of brandy.

His hand slides between my legs and my eyes lock with his. Mine are wide and full of fear, his are dark and smoldering.

"Come stay with me tonight," he whispers and I shake my head at him, telling him no. His gaze narrows and he fondles me under the table. "Stay with me tonight," he says again and this time it's an order. I start to shake as burning hot fear races through me. Cato laughs darkly, mistaking my tremors as lust.

There are gasps around us and Cato's head whips around, searching for whoever is onto us but no one is. I watch in a trance as Haymitch's glass flies into the air, spilling amber liquid over Effie and comes crashing towards the marble floors. There is the sound of glass shattering and I shoot to my feet as Effie starts to gasp in utter outrage. Eyes fall on me and Cato looks up at me, murder in his eyes.

"I have to go," I mutter and turn to leave.

I hear a chair scrape back and my heart drops. "Let me escort you to your room," says a deadly voice and my heart beats furiously in a panic.

"No, I'm good thanks," I declare and hurry out of the dining room towards the elevators. I don't hear Cato behind me but I don't relax until I see Whytt standing by the elevators. He looks at me concern in his face and crosses the lobby to meet me.

"What is wrong, Katniss?" he asks and I start to sob.

"He got me alone and then during dinner—"I break off here as sobs take over me.

Whytt wraps his arms around me.

"It's okay, Katniss, you'll be okay," he whispers but I know it's a lie. My hands caress my stomach as Whytt pulls me towards the elevators. With Cato around, I'll never be okay.


	2. Discussions, Dancing, and Despair

**WARNING!**** WARNING! This chapter has a very distrubing subject matter in it towards the end... Reader Discretion is advised.**

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Chapter 2—Discussions, Dancing, and Despair

I pace back and forth nervously in my dressing room back stage. My dress swishes around my ankles and I can feel my aggravation rising. My dress is nothing but a nuisance. It has a corset type top that leaves me exposed in all the wrong places— it is basically see through except for the elaborate design that graces it. As far as I'm concerned, I'm fairly sure that wearing just a bra would show less skin than what I'm wearing right now. My skit is a dark navy blue that hangs straight down. I don't have any accessories except for a diamond choker around my neck. My hair is pulled back and it makes me feel even more exposed. I can hear the crowd roaring and I can hear Caesar talking but I can't make out his words just yet. I groan in frustration as my dress gets tangled in my feet—what the hell was Cinna thinking putting me in this thing? He had apologizes when I saw myself in it—he said that Coin had demanded that I looked more elegant, that if didn't get his act together, he'd be looking for a new job.

I hadn't gotten any sleep last night and was in a horrible mood today because of it. Haymitch and Whytt sit quietly in my dressing room, watching as I wear a hole in the carpet with my constant pacing. They don't dare to speak. As soon as they showed their faces today, I had yelled at them for leaving me alone yesterday and they haven't dared open their mouths since. I was more upset with Haymitch for not even checking on me before he had left the appearance yesterday but that still didn't stop me from blowing up on Whytt. He claims that Effie had drug him inside to help move around heavy furniture in the ballroom.

I pace and glare evilly at a piece of paper that is crumpled on my vanity top. This morning, I had found it taped to my mirror in my room. When I had opened it I had discovered that President Snow had left me a note. It read:

_District 12 Victor,  
Please keep in mind the conversation we had yesterday during you interview and the ball that is to follow it. I would hate it if something terrible were to happen to your sister. Hopefully you do a better job of acting today than you did yesterday.  
Best of luck,  
President Coin_

The thing that made me most angry about the letter was that she hadn't even used my name—like I wasn't important enough.

My door clicks opens and Effie sticks her head in. Today her makeup and hair remind me of a strawberry and I wonder if she went as far as to get strawberry perfume to match her look.

"Katniss, it's time. Come now, follow me and please do not mess this up. This is very, very important," she sings in her Capitol accent. I roll my eyes and follow her woodenly to the side of the stage; I'm still hidden from the crowd but I can see them. They are going wild as Caesar welcomes them. My eyes slide over to the other side of the stage and I can see a dark figure there. I just know that it's Cato. My heart thumps painfully in my chest in fear.

"Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen. Settle down, please," he calls and waits for the roar of the crowd to die down. "Now, we all know the story about them—an attraction that couldn't be denied, an act that would change a girl's life forever, but it is also the story of hope and survival. Please welcome Cato and Katniss: the forbidden couple!"

The crowd goes wild and I'm frozen to the spot. I see Cato step into the light and he turns to wave at the crowd, a huge smile on his face. He is wearing a dark suit and it clings to him appealingly. He turns and frowns when he realizes that I haven't made my appearance on stage yet. I hear a curse behind me and then I'm shoved out into the spot light.

I squint and hold my hand up, shielding my eyes from the blinding hot lights. My feet stagger forward and all I can see is brightness. As Cato and I walk closer and closer to each other my brain starts to register that something is off—that something just isn't right. The crowd's screams of delight roar in my ears and I feel disconnected from what is going on around me.

I can see Caesar looking at me, his face turned from the audience. He has a strange look on his face and I can tell that he senses it too. Cato is just a couple steps from me when it hits me. I inhale deeply, trying to prepare myself for what is coming and I freeze. My head snaps up and my eyes lock with Cato's. He is grinning triumphantly at me, his dark eyes are smoldering dangerously with lust.

His scent invades my nose and works through my body. Pheromones. I can feel them work their way towards my core and it's like we are connected. The lust that is evident on his face, I feel inside of me. His longing is my longing and my body is drawn to him. My mind screams in agony as my body responds to him, betraying all the hate and anger that I feel towards him. Cato steps forward and throws his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. I shudder and my body feels like it's on fire.

"Is something the matter?" he asks me innocently before he drags us down onto the love seat that is in the center of the brightly lit stage.

I keep my eyes on him, my mouth partially hanging open. He glances down at me and smirks as he pulls me closer to him.

"Katniss, shut your mouth and quit staring at me," he demands sharply and I do as I'm told. I drop my eyes to my hands that are clenched together. My mind and body wage war over how I'm feeling. Lust, disgust, longing, aversion, excitement, and hopelessness flow through my body at once and I'm exhausted by it.

"Welcome you two and thank you for being here tonight. I can see that this is a happy moment for both of you—Katniss can't even keep her eyes off of you," Caesar exclaims and I blush as I realize that I had been gaping at Cato again.

Cato laughs and his wonderful scent tortures me. He looks down at me, his eyes sparkling in delight and it takes away my breath.

"Well, I can't speak for Katniss but I am certainly happy to be here," he says and smiles at the crowd.

There is a slight pause as Caesar waits for my response but my brain is too scrambled to form a response. He clears his throat.

"Katniss, darling, now we all know that Cato is handsome but can we please have your attention?" he asks and the crowd laughs. I blush and drop my head, nodding. Sweat breaks out across my body and my blood boils in response to my proximity to Cato.

"Yes, sorry Caesar. I just can't seem to help myself… It's just so—"I pause, trying to find an appropriate word, "overwhelming to see him… to be this close to him again." I whisper and bite my lip before I can say something embarrassing about how freaking good he smells.

Caesar nods his head in an understanding sort of way and I fight the urge to laugh because I know that he is feeling inexplicably drawn to him—that's what pheromones do to a person. Cato makes a pleased noise in the back of his throat and I know that he's aware of how much I am struggling. He wraps his arm around my bare shoulders and gently traces circles on my bare skin. I gasp quietly as his motions register deep within me. Lust floods my body and I fight to pay attention to the interview.

"Now, Cato, tell us how this," he motions at the two of us, "came about. How in the world did you manage to get her out of the games alive?"

"Well, Caesar, just look at her—isn't she lovely?" He pauses and I hear whistles coming from the crowd. Cato frowns and turns to look at the crowd. "You guys better watch it. She's my girl," he teases and the crowd laughs in response I frown and try to pull away but his muscled arm traps me. I squirm uncomfortably, my body reacting every time his skin brushes against mine. His face grows serious and he turns back to Caesar. "When I first saw her at the training center, I was inexplicably attracted to her and I was horrified, knowing that I might have to kill her. I knew I couldn't do it and I couldn't stand by and let her die. So I went to Snow and begged him to help me. Because he was so corrupt, he agreed as long as I did him a favor," Cato explains. I find it interesting that he didn't mention the fact that Snow isn't his grandpa. Caesar leans in closer to him, interest evident on his face.

"What was the favor?" he asks.

Cato frowns and shakes his head. His shoulder slump forward and he is the perfect picture of shame. "He had this experiment going on… He wanted to make a super breed of tributes," Cato pauses and swallows thickly. "He was using me in an attempt to sire a perfect tribute," he says lifting his chin. There are gasps from the audience. "That's why I'm glad that Coin is president now. I don't have to do anything like that anymore," he lies. I remember him telling me that Coin would sell him off to the highest bidder. That's when I realize that she has gotten to him too. I wonder what she has over him that makes him willing to cooperate.

Caesar makes a sad tisking noise with his tongue against his perfectly white and straight teeth.

"Well thank goodness, you no longer have to do that anymore," he says and Cato nods his head.

"Katniss, you must feel so thankful. I mean, Cato saved your life," he says and I look at him, a confused frown on my face. Cato's scent scatters all my thoughts and I have to remember that Prim's life is on the line—I can't mess this up. I grit my teeth and try desperately to hang onto my sanity. I cringe inwardly as I think of all the people at home who are going to be confused by what I say.

"Yes, I am so grateful to him. He did save my life," I say as I look up at Cato. He smiles down at me and leans down to kiss me. His scent invades me and I start to lean towards him when the image of Anne's dead body at his feet pops into my head. I pull back with a hiss, my face turning red. "What are you doing?" I whisper, anger and disgust dripping from my voice. Luckily, the microphones don't pick it up so the audience only sees that I pull away and nothing else. Caesar Flickerman laughs and I can just faintly detect that it is a panicked one.

"Looks like she's a shy one," he says as he tries to explain my reaction to Cato. Cato's eyes dance dangerously and I gulp.

"Yes, I suppose she is," he murmurs before he turns back to the crowd with a grin on his face.

"Katniss, what was it like knowing that you couldn't go home because everyone thinks that you are dead?" Caesar asks.

I look out towards the crowd but all I see is blinding light. "It was absolute torture," I say clearly, my voice ringing out into the auditorium. Cato squeezes my hand tightly in a warning and I continue. "But Cato was there and eventually, things started to not seem so bad. Once we got to know each other, things got better—I was actually happy," I say in a daze. The lies fall easily from my lips and they leave an awful aftertaste in my mouth. The crowd goes wild and I can feel Cato's heat sinking even more into my skin and my body shudders in response.

Cato looks at me, desire in his eyes and he leans towards me again. I know I have to do this. I lean forward and we kiss. It's nothing deep or sensual but the pheromones make me react. My blood pumps excitedly in my body and I feel that weird connection between us again. Cato pulls back and laughs low in his throat.

"Easy, Katniss," he whispers darkly at me and I gasp as my body responds—excitement beating desperately through my veins.

"If you were so happy, then why did you leave?" Caesar asks and as much as I like the guy, I just want to slap him for asking this. Cato looks at me, holding his breath— afraid that I'm going to tell the truth. I think quickly and start to answer as Cato grows rigid beside me.

"Well, part of it was because I love my sister so much and the other part is because we were afraid that if I stayed, people in the districts would be even angrier. I mean, it was already unfair that two people survived the games. We all felt that it was best if I went home," I say lamely, hoping that my response is good enough. Cato sighs in relief next to me and relaxes.

The crowd moans in sadness and Caesar's face is filled with pain at the tragedy of it all.

"How heartbreaking," he says and Cato nods his head in agreement as he hugs me tightly to him. My mind feels like it's about to explode as it registers disgust and wanting at the same time. "It sounds like you guys care very much for each other—how can you stand being away from each other?"

Cato sighs sadly. "I won't lie—it is really hard. I miss her every single day. But you've heard the saying: distance makes the heart grow fonder? I have to say that that applies to me. The longer we are a part, the more I am drawn to her. It's like I realize just how much I need her," he says and the crowd gasps at his confession. I feel sick to my stomach because I know that all of it is true in a sick and twisted way.

"So you love her?" Flickerman asks and crowd is silent, waiting for his answer.

Cato's eyes are locked onto mine and I realize that I am holding my breath, waiting for his answer too.

"Yes, I love her," he says and my mouth hangs open at the boldface lie. "I love her very much and I would do anything to protect her. I would never let anything hurt her," he says and anger boils in my blood. Visions of my rapes, beatings, and injuries roll angrily through my head and I start to shake.

Cato can see that I am losing control and he grips my hand tightly.

"Katniss, keep yourself together," he hisses.

"That is very sweet," Caesar murmurs. "Katniss, how do you feel about Cato?"

I grind my teeth together as I glare at Cato. He looks furiously back at me; his face is hidden from the crowd while mine isn't. A low whisper starts up and I suck in a shuddering breath.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about him," I say coldly, "it doesn't matter because whatever I feel for him can never outshine how much I love my sister."

The crowd is dead silent and I can feel Cato shaking with anger beside me. I don't have time to regret what I said because Caesar is talking.

"Oh, well then you must love your sister even more than I thought because it's evident how deeply you care for him," Caesar says as he tries to get me out of the hole I've dug for myself. He clears his throat awkwardly.

"So, Katniss, I hear that you are to be a tribute mentor this coming up Hunger Games. Are you looking forward to it?"

I close my eyes and take a steadying breath, Cato's scent burns my nose and it raises my heart rate.

"I just hope that I am able to help in any way that I can—I hope my work will help to save a life," I say and Caesar nods his head tightly and turns to Cato.

"Now, you have to promise that just because you're a sponsor, that you won't be bias towards Katniss just because of how you feel about her," Caesar teases and I gasp in shock.

Cato's going to be a sponsor? Dread pools in my stomach and I become dizzy realizing that I will never escape from him. Every single year, I'll have to see him at the games.

"Oh, Cato, have you not told her yet?" Caesar and the crowd mumble unhappily.

Cato laughs. "No, I hadn't. Thanks for letting the cat out of the bag though," he laughs again and pulls me closer. "You don't have to worry about me being bias, Caesar, I'm a business man before I am a lover and I won't invest in a tribute that I think won't have a good chance of winning. And the reason I feel comfortable with behaving that way is because I know that Katniss and I can make it through anything," he declares and the crowd swoons under his smooth talking.

I start to feel sick to my stomach—his scent is too much. I need to get away. Caesar looks at me and frowns. He knows that I have reached my limit. I clench my fists together and hold my breath, hoping to clear my head from the pheromones. It doesn't help.

"Well, we are certainly happy to hear that," he murmurs before he stands, sweeping his hand out to motion to us. "Ladies and gentleman, I give you Cato and Katniss! Thank you for joining us tonight!" The crowd cheers gaily and the curtain slowly lowers.

As soon as it hits the ground, Caesar is talking to us.

"Well, Katniss, you did so much better than your first interview although you slipped a couple of times. Now, Cato what the hell kind of cologne are you wearing? I need to get me some of that," he laughs and walks away, not bothering to wait for an answer. I shoot to my feet, wanting to put distance between me and my torturer.

Cato glares at me from the couch. His look sends shivers through me and I step back, needing space. His scent still invades my nose and it demolishes all my defenses.

"Where do you think you're going Katniss?" he asks softly, dangerously. My heart thumps as ice cold fear runs down my legs, feeling like knives dragging through my veins.

"I have to do an outfit change for tonight," I gasp and his eyes lower to my exposed chest.

"Ah, well that is a shame because I do so love what you are wearing now," he says and slowly rises from the couch. He advances towards me and I am stuck to where I am standing. He leans close to my ear as his eyes roam over my breasts. "My, my, Katniss, I must say that they look bigger than normal. I can't wait to get my hands on them but that will have to wait for later, my dear. Go on and get ready. I'll see you at the ball," he says and I shiver at the danger in his voice but I'm grateful that he doesn't touch me because the pheromones will make it impossible to resist him. Hopefully by the ball tonight, the effects will have worn off.

"Katniss Everdeen," my names rings out and I freeze at the top of the stairs. Everyone in the ballroom below me stops what they are doing and stares at me. My hand lifts my long, heavy golden dress so that I can carefully make my way down the stairs. The dress covers my chest and trails out behind me. It is made of a material that catches the light just beautifully so that it appears that I am shinning.

I look over my shoulder and see Whytt standing in the shadows, watching me. He has been instructed by Effie to stay in the shadows the entire night. She told him that if he steps out of the shadows, that peacekeepers will be forced to escort him from the room because he isn't important enough to get an invitation to the event.

I turn my eyes back to the crowd gathered below me and I spot Cato's tall figure at the very front. He is eyeing me like I am some sort of prey. Hushed whispers float about the crowd and Cato steps forward as I reach the bottom, offering his hand to me.

I look at it for a second before I hesitantly take it in mine. My hand shakes in nervousness and I take a deep breath. The air practically burns as I inhale and I realize with horror that Cato has injected himself with even more pheromones.

"Really?" I hiss at him, my eyes narrowing. He just smiles at me and helps me off the last step.

He leads me towards the dance floor and I follow him because I know that we are the ones that have to start the dancing. As we step onto the raised floor, he spins me and I gasp in surprise. His scent invades me and makes me dizzy. I stumble slightly and he laughs, his hands shooting out to steady me. His hands grip me around the waist, burning into the exposed skin there.

I look over his shoulder to see Effie grinning wildly at me. She gives me a small thumbs up and then music fills the air. Panic freezes me and my eyes dart up to Cato's vibrant ones.

"I can't dance," I whisper and his grin widens.

"Step on my feet," he demands curtly.

"What?" I gasp and he sighs angrily.

"Just do it, Katniss!" I do as I'm told and then he is sweeping me across the floor.

Every inch of my body is pressed against his hard muscled body and it excites me. Every breath I take draws in his deadly scent and soon my brain is fuzzy. I realize that I am getting high off of his scent. My stomach twists excitedly as if the baby inside me realizes that its father is right here. The thought makes me grow cold and I realize that I'm still in a lot of danger.

He waltzes us around the dance floor, making me dizzy and I lay my cheek against his chest. I can hear his heart beating furiously in his chest and it hypnotizes me. I inhale his heavenly smell deeply and a moan slips from my mouth. I can feel the affect I have on him as something hardens against my lower stomach. I want to pull away but the music is still going and there is a crowd of people around the dance floor, watching us with big smiles on their faces.

"So, you love me, huh?" I ask sarcastically, referring to what he had said in the interview earlier.

He throws his head back and laughs deeply.

"Baby, there is a bunch of stuff I can offer you: pain, pleasure, security, money but love isn't one. I can give you anything _but_ love," he says and I just shake my head at him.

I watch as the crowd blurs around us and a camera flashes and blinds me; I flinch into Cato's chest, hiding my face from the cameras. I don't want them to be able to see how I am enjoying being this close—I don't want them to see the affect that Pheromones have on me. I rub my nose against his chest, savoring the smell of him.

"Stop it," he grunts down at me as his erection pulses against my stomach. His voice is husky and deep and it speaks to my darkest desires—the ones that the pheromones bring out in me.

"I can't help it," I hiss at him. "You're the one who decided to dope yourself up on pheromones."

He sighs and I swear I hear him say that he's beginning to regret it but I know that I must be hearing things.

The music stops and gradually fades away into nothing. The crowd gathered applauds and I step away from Cato, my chest heaving. I don't look at him in the face. I drop into a curtsy and back away.

I head straight for the refreshment table and Cato follows. Right as I reach for a glass, his hand intercepts mine.

"Let me," he says smoothly and I glare at him.

"I can do it myself," I say moodily.

"Yes, you can but I want to. Now what will it be? Alcohol?" He doesn't wait for an answer as he pours me a glass of something that burns my nose when I smell it. I welcome the different smell—anything to erase _his_ scent from my nose.

I look down at it, my heart thumping. I know that I can't drink this—not when I'm pregnant. Cato notices my pause and he lifts his drink to me in a toast. When I don't do anything he frowns.

"What is wrong with you? It's just alcohol. I know you're not opposed to drinking and it's not like you're pregnant," he laughs and I panic.

"I just don't want to drink, Cato but if it will make you feel better, I guess I can have one glass." Cato nods and motions for me to go ahead.

I start to lift the glass to my lips when suddenly someone pummels into me. I gasp in surprise and my glass tumbles from my hand and onto who ever ran into me.

"Oh, I am so sorry," Haymitch exclaims as he steadies me. His back is to Cato and he gives me a slow wink and I smile at him.

"It's okay, Haymitch," I say and he stumbles away from me.

"Man, he needs to lay off the drinking," I mutter, hoping to provide Cato with an excuse as to why that just happened.

I quickly grab a glass from the table and fill it with punch. I down it as my eyes search the room. I see waiters walking around with silver trays held high above their head. One approaches me and lowers his tray. I see a bunch of elegant mini sandwiches and a pile of napkins. I grab a napkin and grab two sandwiches. The man offers the tray to Cato but he declines any food.

I plop the sandwiches into my mouth quickly and steal a glance at Cato. He's watching me with dark eyes.

"Why don't you go dance with someone?" I ask even though I know the answer.

"The only person I want to dance with is you," he says huskily and steps closer to me. His scent floats towards me and I step back. He follows me, a dark look in his eyes.

"Dance with me," he says softly and I look at him like he is stupid.

"No, thank you," I state and he frowns, stepping closer to me again.

"I don't think you understand, Katniss, I said dance with me," his words are an order and they grate against my ears.

"You want to know the best thing about not living with you is? I don't have to do what you tell me to—you're no longer in charge of me, Cato," I say and turn to walk away. His hand grips my wrist painfully and I turn to face him, my eyes darting to the people around us who are looking at us curiously.

"Do you really want to make a scene, Cato? People are watching us," I hiss and his eyes glide over the people around us. He drops my wrist.

"This isn't over, Katniss," he says and storms off.

A smile breaks across my face at my small victory. I wonder how long I have to stay here, I would much rather be sleeping right now. I set out looking for Effie so I can ask. I'm stopped by many people as I wander through the crowd. I try to make small talk but I am horrible at it and the people I talk to realize it. All of them end the conversation by giving me a sad smile and telling me that they would hate to keep me from the other guests.

I'm just about convinced that Effie has left when I spot Cinna through the crowd. I push my way towards him and he grins when he sees me.

"Katniss, dear, you look lovely. Please dance with me."

I laugh and nod my head. He leads me to the dance floor.

"I should warn you though, I'm awful at it," I tell him and he laughs.

"But you did it so wonderfully with Cato," he exclaims.

"That's because I was standing on top of his feet," I confess. Cinna laughs again.

"Well you are more than welcome to stand on my feet but I must warn you that I'm not as good of a dancer as Cato. I take him up on his offer and we laugh and stumble our way through the song. By the time it ends, I am breathless and my sides hurt from laughing. I take a deep breath and relish in the fact that Cato's smell isn't here to drive me crazy.

Cinna looks at me, a grin on his dark face and he holds his arms up in a dancing position. "Another one?" he asks with a grin and I nod my head.

I'm about to place my feet on top of his when someone taps my shoulder. I turn in surprise and find myself looking into a handsome young man's face.

He is wearing an expensive suit that fits his body perfectly. He has a long nose and hair that hangs delightfully around his ears. He is not outright handsome but there something in his face that I find pleasing.

"May I have this dance?" he asks with a cheeky grin. I see Cato in the crowd over his shoulder, a dark brooding look on his face and a slow smile spreads across my face.

"If it's okay with you Cinna," I say and Cinna bows gracefully and backs from the floor.

The unknown man holds his arms out to me and I step in them, he draws me close and I gasp at his boldness. I see Cato's face turn a dangerous shade of red and I step closer to the young man just to rub it in his face. He's no longer in control of me and he can't get to me anymore.

The boy leads me around the dance floor better than I could ever have hoped. I only stumble a few times and when I do, his sturdy arms are there to hold me up. His muscles are as big as Cato's but he does have some muscle there.

"What's your name?" I ask breathlessly as he spins me around in front of him. The crowd gasps and applauds as I end up in his arms once more. He glides us effortlessly between other dancing couples with such ease.

"Keeth Lingenberry," he says coolly as he dodges an intoxicated couple. "I'm one of the sponsors that you'll have to pleasure of working with," he comments dryly and I can tell that he doesn't approve of his job.

"If you don't like your job, then why do you do it?" I ask quietly.

"It's almost like a family tradition—I do it so I won't be disowned," he says and I'm surprised by his honesty.

"Oh," I say as the band strikes the song's final notes. Keeth spins me one final time, causing my golden skit to whirls wildly around me. He brings my hand up to his lips and presses a soft kiss there. With a bow he backs away from the floor and disappears into the crowd. I frown softly. _What an odd guy_, I think to myself.

I step off the dance floor, and search the crowd for Effie, hoping that enough time has passed so I can escape to my room. I look for her but I don't see her. I see the snack table and my stomach growls hungrily. I make my way towards it when someone comes running through the crowd, pushing people as they go and I'm right in his way. Seneca Crane barrels into me and knocks me to the ground. I fall on my butt and the wind gets knocked out of me. I look up at the head Gamemaker with a look of shock on my face.

"Oh, goodness! I'm sorry," he gasps and reaches down to help me my feet.

The people around us turn and go back to what they were doing before.

"I'm sorry," he repeats and I smile forcefully at him.

"It's okay," I say stiffly, fully aware that this guy is in charge of making the games interesting—which roughly translates into tributes deaths.

"And I'm sorry about your sister," he says and I gasp, my eyes narrowing.

"What do you mean?" I say with urgency in my voice.

"I mean that she had to go through what she did. I saw the interview when she said she felt guilty for all that happened to you. That's all I mean," he says and walks away, weaving through the crowd. I watch him go with a frown on my face. When I see him disappear through the door I turn to head towards the snack table and run straight into Cato.

He grips my hand, a furious scowl on his face. I hold my breath but it doesn't matter—his smell is so potent that it seeps to my sensory glands anyway. My eyes dilate and I stare at his face. He grins back at me.

"How about a dance, my sweet?" he suggests and I nod dumbly. He chuckles darkly, the sound of it exciting me. "I can see that my extra dose of pheromones is working on you."

I groan as he pulls me to the dance floor. This time he doesn't let me stand on his feet. But the song is slow so it doesn't matter. We sway gently around the floor, his scent wreaking havoc on my senses until I think I'm going to go crazy. My hands turn into claws on his shoulders as my unwanted desire builds. I keep thinking of the baby inside of me and it serves as a reminder that I can't let Cato take this too far.

"Katniss, I want you," he whispers to me, a demon in disguise. I shiver and he pulls me closer as he rubs his hands up and down my exposed back. My dress sweeps the floor behind us, shinning a light golden glow into the dark room.

"Stay with me tonight," he urges and I shake my head.

"I just can't, Cato. I don't want to," I whisper shakily. My legs feel like they are full of fluid.

"Yes you do, Kat, I can smell you arousal," he says next to my ear and gives it a sharp bite. I gasp and liquid flows through me and settles between my legs.

"Stop," I moan and I grow weaker. I try to pull away but he grips me tighter.

"No, no, my dear. I wouldn't want you to cause a scene. After all, Prim's life _is_ on the line."

He's right and I hate him for it. The song drifts off and another one starts right on its heels. I don't even have time to try to get away. Cato jerks me into his arms.

"You will be mine tonight, Katniss," he declares passionately and then we are moving.

This song is fast and the steps are confusing and I'm constantly stumbling, trying to keep up with him but he doesn't slow down or even try to give me any direction. I am breathing fast and clinging onto him for dear life. Suddenly I feel our feet tangle and I look up to see a sick twisted smile on his face. I fall, my ankle bending unnaturally. I cry out as I hit the floor and people around me gasp.

I don't have time to process anything before Cato scoops me into his arms.

"Oh, Katniss," he exclaims so the people around us can hear him. "You are so clumsy," he declares as he quickly carries me from the floor and towards the exit. "Let's get you to the doctor so you can get this check out."

I look wildly around for Whytt but I don't see him. I try to struggle against Cato but when I move my right foot, a pain shoot up my leg and I cry out. Out in the lobby, Cato stalks towards the door that hides the stairs. He kicks the door open and starts to jog up the stairs.

"Cato, the doctor is on the first floor," I say, panic rising in my voice. He ignores me. When we reach the door to the second floor I know that I am doomed. I try to escape but moving my ankle _hurts._ I cry out in pain again.

"It really hurts, Cato, I need to see the doctor," I plead but he doesn't heed my complaints.

"Later," he grunts as he jerks open the door and crosses district 2's apartment.

My body trembles in fear and my heart flutters like a bird trapped in a box.

"Please, Cato, don't do this," I beg.

"Katniss, shut up," he says as he pauses before a door. He nudges it open with his foot and steps inside. He throws me on the bed and lands on top of me.

He grinds his hardness into me and I gasp as his scent does weird things to me. I want to wind my fingers through his hair, to kiss him, to touch him but I don't. He drops his head and hovers above my lips.

"Kiss me, Katniss," he demands. I pause, my brain screams that I don't want this but my body tells me something else. "Kiss me," he growls and I reach up to pull his head down.

The kiss is intense and hot. His tongue invades my mouth and his teeth bite at my lips. I gasp and moan as he grinds himself against me. Wetness pools between my legs and my body squirms with need while my mind screams in agony at the treachery that my body is doing. Suddenly he pulls away and goes back to the door to shut and lock it.

"I don't want anyone to interrupt us, my fire girl," he says deeply.

I breath heavily, and it helps somewhat to clear my head. _I need to get out of here before it's too late_, I think.

I scramble off the bed and try to make a run for the bathroom. I limp pathetically and Cato easily catches me before I can even reach the door. He swings me back up into his arms and throws me violently onto the bed once again. My head whips back and a pain shoots through my neck. I bite my lip and can taste blood. My ankle throbs with every frantic beat of my heart and I whimper.

"What's wrong, Katniss? Are you afraid of me, fire girl?" he asks gently, teasing me. He runs a finger down my face and his scent envelopes me. I groan and thrash on the bed, trying to kick him away from me. My hurt foot makes contact with his stomach and I gasp in pain. Tears streak down my face as he tries to catch his breath.

"God, I forgot how much of a bitch you are," he groans out.

I scoot up on the bed until my back is against the head board. Cato sits at the end, breathing deeply. He looks at me, his eyes glowing.

"Come here, Katniss," he orders, his voice low and I shiver at the sound.

"Please, Cato…"

"I SAID COME HERE!" He yells and I cringe.

I crawl towards him slowly, careful so that I don't hurt my ankle any more than it already is. He smiles wickedly at me. "That's a good girl," he whispers as he pushes the hair out of my face.

"You are breathtaking, Katniss," he murmurs and I close my eyes, trying to fight my body's response to him.

"Open your eyes," he orders and my eyes flick open. I look in his eyes and try to find in them what exactly makes him the way he is. They are empty, flat, dangerous.

"I want to hurt you," he says huskily and my heart flutters.

"Please don't," I whisper and I reach my hands up to stroke his cheek, hoping that my gentle touch will erase the violent thoughts from his mind. It doesn't work.

He pushes me down on the bed and slaps me hard, cutting my lip in the process. I cry out and cover my stomach with my hands. Luckily, he doesn't notice the protective gesture.

"Yes, Katniss, cry. I love it when you cry." He peers down at my face and he strokes the red handprint that is forming on my skin.

"Please, Cato don't. I won't fight you—I'll do whatever you want," I beg him and he laughs.

"Oh, Katniss, don't you understand? You need to be punished. I saw you dancing with the Keeth guy. You looked like such a whore, letting him touch you like that," he spits at me.

"No, Cato! We were only dancing. I'm not even attracted to him," I sob.

"LIAR!" He screams at me and I flinch as he slaps me again.

"Oh, God," I moan as the stinging in my cheeks grow.

Tears burn in my eyes and I bite them back. The pain and his scent mix in my mind and my body hums with excitement. _Fucking pheromones_, I think angrily to myself.

"You let him kiss you," he hisses and my body shakes horribly in fear.

"I'm sorry, Cato. I know I was bad but it was only on my hand. I won't let it happen again," I sob. He doesn't respond. I crawl towards him, hoping that he will take pity on me. "Cato, please I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you angry," I tell him and he stiffens.

"Well then you brought this on yourself, you dumb bitch," he says coldly and shoves me away from him. "Get up and take your clothes off," he orders.

I get off the bed and stand at the end of it, shaking horribly. I lean heavily on my left foot because my right one has already started to swell up.

"I c-can't r-reach the z-zipper," I cry.

He groans in anger, gets off the bed and reaches to grasp the front of my dress. With a horrifying noise, he rips it right down the middle. I thank god that it is so dark in here—he can't see the small bulge that my dress had hidden.

"I can't see," he murmurs and he turns to click on a side lamp. I panic.

I turn and race towards the door, I stumble on my bad ankle but I push through. I reach the door and fumble with the handle, trying to figure out how to unlock it. I hear Cato curse as he comes after me. I turn and see him charging and I dart out of the way, heading towards the bathroom again.

My foot hits something and I trip, falling onto my front. I curl into a ball.

"Not the baby!" I cry out before I can think.

Silence falls in the room and tension builds in the air. I slowly start to crawl towards the bathroom, desperate to reach safety.

"The what?" He hisses frigidly, coldness dripping from his voice and finding a home in me.

I shiver and my heart drops my chest. His voice is deadly. I turn and see the murder on his face. It scares me more than I have ever been before. I'm more afraid then the time he almost killed me in his studio, or the time he watched in delight as he tried to choke the life from me. I'm not only afraid for myself this time, I'm afraid for the innocent person growing inside of me.

"You fucking slut!" he roars and I flinch into myself, forming a ball to protect my precious cargo.

He lunges forward and swings his leg up. It comes falling back down and his foot digs into my back. I cry out at the searing pain. The breathe rushes from my lungs and I gasp as I try to pull in a breath.

"You let that Peeta prick fuck you?" he roars and I cover my ears.

"No, Cato! It's yours! I promise! You are the only one I have ever been with. I swear to you. Please don't hurt the baby," I sob.

Cato lets out a mangled roar and kicks me again and again. I can feel them everywhere—my head, my back, my shoulders, my hurt ankle, my ribs, my stomach. I try to protect myself but his kicks are so strong that soon, I'm lying on the floor, simply trying to fight from blacking out. He stops kicking and lets out a broken sob. I hear something repeating over and over again but it's not coming from him and I can't make it out.

"Katniss, why would you do this to us? How am I supposed to be with you if you're having someone else's baby?" He sobs and pulls at his hair as he paces the floor.

The repeating noise grows louder and then I realize that it's coming from me.

"Not my baby," I keep saying. I want to curl into a ball and rock back and forth but I'm in too much pain. I simply lift my hands and press them on my stomach, desperately searching for a sign of life. I know that there is no hope. There is no way that the baby could survive that.

"You killed our baby," I say simply and Cato stops pacing and looks down at me.

"It wasn't mine," he says coldly and I lose it.

"IT WAS YOUR FUCKING BABY AND YOU KILLED IT!" I shoot to my feet, wincing as pain registers everywhere. It almost makes me black out but I refuse to let it take over me. Sobs shake my body and I try to limp to the door—I barely make it two small steps. I fall and lay motionless on the floor as I sob.

"You killed him," I sob and my heart breaks in two. "No! Gale! Don't leave me," I scream, begging for the life inside of me to survive. I pound my fists on the floor.

I hear footsteps and then I feel arms as they wrap around me. Cato lifts me and crosses to the bed. He sits on it, rocking me in his arms. I feel absolutely sick.

"Katniss, shhh, we can have another one. One that will be mine and not Peeta's," he murmurs and I just can't handle it.

"It's your baby you stupid mother fucker," I hiss and reach up, digging my nails into his skin I jerk down. He curses and slaps my hands away but I keep coming.

I alternate between punching, slapping and scratching until finally Cato has had enough. He grips my hair and jerks it back painfully but I don't cry out.

"God dammit, Katniss, I said we can have another one. It's not a big deal," I glare at him.

"No, it is a big deal, Cato. He was my rainbow at the end of a storm. He was my lighthouse on a foggy night. He was my only hope. He was mine and I was his and I loved him," I whisper, my voice growing louder with every word.

I feel something building within me and I cry out as a pain shoots through my lower stomach. I gasp and my hands grasp at my stomach, trying to massage the pain away.

"No, no, no," I plead. "Please don't go," I sob and Cato pulls me to him.

Another pain shoots through me and I don't have the strength to pull away. I cry out loudly and start to wither in pain.

"Cato, get the doctor!" I yell.

"No, you'll be fine," he declares and my hand shoots up to grip his shirt. I pull him down to meet my face.

"Get the fucking doctor now Cato or I swear to God I will kill you," I grit out between my clenched teeth as another pain comes and goes.

His eyes are wide in shock and he nods as he races to the phone. More pain seizes my body and I scream in despair. I don't hear what he says to the doctor but soon he is back, pushing hair from my face.

I feel something warm between my legs. My hand shoots down there and when I bring it back to my face, I see blood on my fingers.

"Oh, God," Cato whispers horrified next to me and I start to sob. I grip my face in my hands, ignoring the fact that I'm spreading blood all over. I just want to hold it all inside. I don't want this to be over. Gale was my last hope of being human again—without him, I will be nothing.

Pain cripples me and my hands shoot out, gripping Cato's arm. Anger and hate burns through my body and I want to scream at him— to tell him to go away. He shouldn't be with me as I go through this but I'm too afraid to be alone.

Cato shakes my hand from him and gets up. When he returns he has a wet cloth in his hands. He gently wipes my forehead and I moan as another pain seizes me.

"Shh, Katniss, don't worry, when this is over we can have our own baby. Won't that be nice?"

I choke on vomit and Cato lifts my head gingerly so that it can spill from my mouth and onto the bed beside me. The door to the room opens and the doctor rushes in. He pulls up short as he takes in my pathetic body. I am bleeding horrible between my legs, my lip is split open, my ankle is swollen, and I'm sure I have red footprints all over my body from Cato's kicks.

"Oh, God, please save my baby," I sob and I can see it on his face, it's already too late.

"Katniss, I'm going to give you some medicine for the pain…"

"No!" I scream at him. When he comes at me with a needle, I hit it out of his hand and flinch away from him, into Cato. He wraps his arms around me and I want to pull away but I don't want to risk being stuck with anything by the doctor.

"Cato, keep him away from me," I scream and feel oddly grateful when he speaks.

"Fucking touch her and I'll snap your wrist, doc," he promises.

The doctor nods and helps me out of my underwear. He examines me quickly and sighs sadly.

"I'm sorry but you're losing the baby. It looks like you are just at the beginning of your second trimester. It's hard to tell because from what I've seen in the interviews on TV, you were vastly underweight," he says but I don't really listen to him. _My poor baby_, I think as I cry.

Hours pass in a blur of pain—both physical and emotional. I get the urge to push and Cato is the only one there to help me deliver my dead child. I cry the entire time. I strain and cry out as I feel blood gush from me. The doctor sighs.

"It's over," he says simply and I cry. Cramps still wrack through my body. The doctor turns to leave.

"No! I want to see him," I beg and the doctor turns.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I say and he lowers his hand to show me. I see red everywhere and a small form in the palm of his hand. It's no bigger than an egg. I see the tiny torso, the tiny arms, the tiny hands with impossibly tiny fingers. I can't tell if it's a boy or not but I know deep down in my heart, that it is a boy. I sob and gingerly take him into my hand. I cradle him for a moment as my tears land on him.

I turn and glare at Cato. Holding my hand out to him I start to scream.

"Do you see what you've done, Cato? You're Death himself, Cato. All you are good at is killing and bringing pain to people."

Cato looks at the small form in my hand and he doesn't react. He stares at it unseeingly and I grow cold inside.

"My God, do you have any emotions at all? Don't you feel bad for killing this poor innocent soul?" I sob and he looks at me, his eyes empty and vacant. I fall to the bed as another searing pain steals through me. The urge to push takes over once again and I moan.

I cry out and the doctor quickly takes Gale's dead form from me. I scream and try to get him back but it's no use. The doctor places my dead baby in a bag and then turns back to me.

"Katniss, you need to push some more. Your body is trying to get rid of everything in there."

I shake my head, trying to deny that this is happening. I feel Cato prop me up again and I cry even harder. I hate him so much.

The urge to push grows stronger until I can't fight it and I'm straining as I push. I feel more blood gushing as clots of blood and placenta fall out. The doctor inhales sharply and shakes his head sadly.

"What is it?" I ask, blinded by my tears.

"Twins," he says softly and I collapse on the bed. Cato gasps behind me and stiffens. I don't pay any attention to him though. The doctor gently places my other unknown baby in my hands and I cry big heart breaking sobs.

"Little Anne," I cry out, knowing deep within that this one would have been a girl. The name comes from my lips without any thought and I know that she would have been the sweetest, more caring and talkative little girl in the world. If her father hadn't killed her, that is.

Cato brushes my hair back and I've had enough.

"Get out of here you monster," I scream and he holds his hands up in surrender.

I hear footsteps and my head lolls around to see Haymitch standing in the doorway. At first he looks relieved to have found me but then he sees the blood and the bruises that are forming all over my body and his face flushes in anger.

"What the fuck have you done to her now?" he growls as he steps towards Cato, his hands clenched. He spots the small form in my hands and tears burn in his eyes. "You fucker. You killed the baby," he roars and lunges for Cato.

The doctor uses this distraction as a chance to sink a needle into me, filling my blood with morphling. I drift off into sleep, clutching my dead daughter to my chest. Her blood mixes with mine and squeezes through my fingers to drip dreadfully against my exposed skin. I fall asleep covered in blood and dream blood-filled dreams that no amount of screaming can wake me from.


	3. The New Rules

Chapter 3— The New Rules

I don't float gradually out of sleep. Instead, one second I am sleeping and the next I am up, my eyes open and roaming around the overly white room. I see medical equipment all around me and I notice that my hands are tied down to the bed. I should be upset by this but I'm not—I am numb and nothing matters.

My uterus throbs unhappily inside of me but the pain isn't anywhere near as close to when I miscarried. I moan, at the thought of my dead, defenseless babies—their tiny, underdeveloped, red bodies dead and unmoving in my hand. I swallow thickly, trying to fight any emotion from getting the best of me. It wasn't a miscarriage; it was a murder that Death himself had committed.

I feel eyes on me and I turn my head to look at the person sitting beside me. Haymitch stares at me with a closed-off look on his face. His face is strained with worry and it looks like he hasn't slept in days. He has a slight bruise on his cheek and I assume that he has gotten it from Cato.

"Hey there, sweetheart, how are you feeling?" he asks gently and I grit my teeth together as a cramp clutches my lower stomach.

I try to lift my hands to push the hair out of my face but the restraints prevent my hands from going very far. I sigh in aggravation and drop my hands to the bed.

"You were screaming and kicking… We had to restrain you so you wouldn't hurt yourself."

I don't look at him, my eyes are glued to my arm—it is covered with bruises, I look at my other arm and find bruises there too. I know without even looking that the rest of my body is bruised too.

_Thank you Mr. Evil_, I think sarcastically to myself.

"Yeah, he got you pretty good," Haymitch whispers and I fight the emotion rising in me.

"I want to go home," I whisper and my voice cracks pathetically. I want to get as far away from this cursed place as possible—as far away from Cato as I can.

"We'll be going home today. We just have to wait for the doctor to sign off on you," he says and I sigh in aggravation.

"How long have I been out for?"

"Three days. You were bleeding a lot and the doctor had to do a lot of tests on you to make sure you didn't have internal bleeding from the beating."

I look at Haymitch, my face smooth and emotionless. My chest feels empty and my limbs feel heavy. The door bangs open and I flinch, my eyes flying to the massive figure in the door—Cato.

I wait for my heart to flutter in fear, excitement, lust, anger—anything. It doesn't. My mind acknowledges that he is here but it doesn't tell me what I think about him. I know that I should hate him but I don't feel anything.

His chest is heaving and I see two peacekeepers lying on the floor behind him, they are knocked out cold. His evilly handsome face is marred with scratches from my fingers. He has a black eye and a split lip too.

_Thank you, Haymitch_, I think as I study the dark bruise around his eye.

Haymitch gets up, knocking his chair to the floor and I flinch again at the loud noise. The chair clatters around on the floor and the noise grates at my frazzled nerves.

"What the hell are you doing here, Cato? Haven't I told you to fucking stay away from her? Was my left hook too subtle for you?" Haymitch yells and Cato glares at him.

"You got lucky that night, old man. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll be so lucky again. I just want to talk to her," he says and nods in my direction. Blue and intense eyes gaze at me. I wait for the anger and disgust to fill my body but it doesn't. I feel empty—the kind of emptiness that hurts your soul.

My eyes roam over his scratch marks and I should feel happy that I hurt him but I don't. My unflinching gaze studies his black eye and I feel a small smile stretch my face. It feels empty and humorless and it hovers there only momentarily before it slides easily off of my face.

Haymitch sighs as he jerks the chair from the floor.

"I'll be outside Katniss. Call me if you need me." I nod my head mutely. "Cato, if you lay one finger on her, I will rip you apart," he warns and Cato rolls his eyes.

"I won't hurt her," he vows ironically.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Haymitch mutters as he pushes past Cato, stepping over the unconscious peacekeepers that litter the hallway floor.

Cato shuts the door and crosses over to sit in the chair by my bedside. He gazes at me, concern in his eyes and I know that he's waiting for my anger but it doesn't come. To feel would mean that I would have to have a soul and I think that my soul was taken from me when my babies were ripped prematurely from me.

"They were mine," he croaks in admission and I stare at him blankly.

_No shit_, I think as I study his abused face. In the back of my head, I wonder what my face looks like to him. I know that I probably have bruising and from the feel of it, I have a split lip but I wonder what he sees in my eyes. Does he see sadness? Regret? Depression? Is there even anything there to see?

I can see what I think is emotion in his eyes and this surprises me. His eyes shimmer as they hold mine. I don't see regret in his eyes or sorrow—I just see tears. Not even tears—tears are caused by feelings and Cato only feels anger, desire, and lust. No, what I see in his eyes is plain old liquid. That's when I realize that he is trying to manipulate me.

"My dad's side of the family is full of twins," he says in explanation and I sigh, turning my head and looking at the wall. I don't care about what he has to say.

I hear him push away from his chair and I know that he is going to touch me. I stiffen into a rigid, unmoving line but he doesn't stop. He sits on the side of my bed and gently strokes my cheek and pushes the hair from my face. I feel his fingers on me but I don't _feel_ him. I feel the pressure of his fingers on my face but it doesn't affect me at all.

"Katniss," he pleads with his voice but I don't respond and he sighs in defeat. "I lost my temper, Katniss. I'm so sorry. You know I would have never have hurt them if I had known that they were mine," he whispers and I feel sick.

Part of me wonders if that is really true. I personally think that Cato isn't capable of not hurting the people around him. If he hadn't killed them, he may not have killed them, but eventually he would have hurt them. Tears burn in my eyes but I don't let them spill over. I still don't feel anything in my chest except for emptiness and I like it that way—it's better than actually caring.

"Katniss, please believe me," he implores. His eyes gaze beseechingly into my dead ones and I desperately wish that I could feel anger towards him—I mean I should after what he has done to me.

I swallow thickly trying to get my throat to work properly. Cato sees my struggle and jumps from the bed. When he comes back, he holds a spoon full of ice chips to my mouth and I open my mouth and let them melt on my tongue. Coldness slips down my throat and settles to where my heart used to be. Cato climbs into the bed beside me and strokes my hair. I'm stiff next him but I don't care enough about anything to pull away—it doesn't matter anymore. It's not like he can take anything else from me.

"Katniss, come home with me so I can take care of you," he begs as he places feather light kisses on my shoulder. I shiver when his breath tickles me, my blood pumps slightly faster. That's when the anger floods through me. This monster killed my babies and yet my body still reacts to him? It's asinine.

"No," I say my voice is strong and determined.

"Come on! I apologized, Katniss. I told you that I didn't know they were mine," he tries to explain his behavior—to make it less horrible but that doesn't change anything.

"It doesn't matter if they were yours or not, Cato," I say softly, "you killed those babies. They were all I had and now I have nothing." My voice shakes and I bite the inside of my lip, relishing in the physical pain that drives away the emotional pain.

"No, Kat, you can have me. Come live with me and I'll take care of you. I won't ever hurt you again. I promise," I hear his lies for what they are—a desperate attempt to try to keep me close.

"I want to go home," I say simply and Cato ignores me.

"I've already said I'm sorry. I can always give you more children, Katniss. I swear to you that I won't ever hurt you again. Why won't you believe me?"

My dead, humorless laugh fills the room and Cato looks at me in angry desperation.

"You're not going home!" He roars and I flinch away from him.

"I'm not staying here with you," I hiss and he clenches the sheets from my bed in his hands.

"Katniss—"he grits out between his teeth but is interrupted when the door swings open. He shoots to his feet as Haymitch enters the room.

There is a tense moment as the two of them stare at each other.

"Boy, I thought I told you to stay away from her," Haymitch roars. "Do you have to beat you again?"

Cato opens his mouth to respond but he snaps it shut when the doctor enters the room behind Haymitch. He is wearing a flamboyant lab coat and his sea green hair is perfectly slicked back. When he opens his mouth to talk, I instantly know that he is gay which explains the bizarre coat.

"Cato, you need to leave now," the doctor says quietly and I'm amazed when Cato does as he is told. With one last, longing look at me he leaves and the doctor comes to stand by me.

"Well, Katniss, we are going to be sending you home now. The bruising to your body will fade over the next couple of months—but let me tell you, you were lucky to not have broken anything," he chuckles softly.

_I am many things but "lucky" isn't one of them_, I think bitterly to myself.

"You're going to have some bleeding in the next couple of days. It may be light or it could be heavy but it's totally normal. There may also be some cramping and pain but you should be back to normal by the time the reaping occurs in a few months so you won't need to worry about not being able to work," he smiles at me and I stare back at him.

_Oh joy. I'm so relieved, _I think to myself as numbness takes over my mind and I roll over and close my eyes.

* * *

The train ride home is a painful one. I cramp painfully and I spend the entire trip locked up in my room. I bleed heavily—so heavily that I end up just sitting in the shower as my blood runs down the drain. I don't cry though and I try to avoid thinking of what awaits me at home. When people knock on my door, I ignore them and I won't let them in.

When I arrive back home, there is a small crowd of people waiting for me on the platform. I spot my mom, Prim, and Peeta eagerly searching the windows of the train for me. I also see Madge in the shadows but I know she's waiting for Whytt. Haymitch and Whytt exit first—Effie had stayed in the Capitol and I would be seeing her at the reaping. When I step out into the sun onto the platform the group gathered gasps as they look at my bruised face and body. Prim gets tears in her eyes and for once, I don't feel the urge to comfort her. I feel nothing but slight annoyance at the emotionality of it all.

"Oh, Katniss, what happened?" my mom whispers. I look at her and see that she's fighting tears so I drop my eyes to the splintery wood on the platform. I clear my throat.

"Cato," I say and my voice croaks with malpractice. "He found out about the baby and he wasn't happy—he thought it was Peeta's."

Prim gasps and I realize that this is the first time she has even heard of me being pregnant. My mom and I had decided that it would be best to wait until we could figure out a way to keep me safe from Cato before telling her.

"A baby!" she exclaims excitedly, not comprehending what the bruises mean.

My eyes dart to Peeta and his face is flushed. The sight of him pulls me back to the night before I left for the interviews:

I had been avoiding him since I had found out about my pregnancy but with my impending departure, I couldn't stand it anymore. So that night after dinner, we had spent all night on my front porch talking as we watched shooting stars streak across the sky.

"Katniss, please marry me," he had whispered as dawn was born on the horizon. I stayed silent at first, simply watching as the day came. At first there was a flicker of light and then suddenly a huge stream of light that glowed above the horizon. The sky was painted in beautiful colors and it took my breath away.

I thought of spending many mornings like this, with Peeta by my side and our children sleeping in their beds. The thought filled me with warmth and made me smile softly. It's when I got to specifically imagining the children that I knew that it would never work. Right when a miniature Cato stepped out onto the porch, rubbing sleep from his eyes, I had stopped picturing the life I knew I couldn't have.

"Peeta, I can't," I whispered back.

"Why not Katniss?" His voice was filled with soft urgency and it tore at my heart.

"Because I don't want you to marry me just to save me from Cato," I replied truthfully.

"That's not the only reason and you know it," he proclaimed and grabbed my hand in his. I turned and looked in his eyes. They were full of uncensored love and the sight of it made my heart flutter.

"Why would you want to marry me? You know how messed up I am," I whispered and he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"It doesn't keep me from loving you," he insisted.

"But I don't think I can love _you_," I whispered the horrible truth and slowly got to my feet. "I don't think my heart works that way anymore," I told him and walked into the house.

Peeta frowns and the anger on his face pulls me from the memory. His fists clench and I can see the tendons in his neck standing out as he shakes slightly.

"That mother fucker," he whispers and Prims gasps in surprise at his profanity and anger.

My eyes go to my mom and her face is filled with sorrow.

"Oh, Katniss, the baby?" she asks hopefully.

I shake my head, dropping my eyes to the floor.

"Dead… Both of them—a boy and a girl."

Prim starts to cry and I oddly don't get the urge to go and comfort her. Instead, I turn and walk off down the dusty lane ignoring the carriage that is waiting to take me home. I hear Prim call after me and then I hear my mom telling her that I need time by myself.

I'm not too surprised when I find myself at the fence of district 12. I slip under it, scrapping my knees against the rocks that are imbedded in the dirt. I slowly make my way towards the woods, trailing my hands on the overgrown weeds that surround me. I go to Gale and my meeting spot and sit on the damp ground in the shade of the looming trees above me.

The wind blows softly and I close my eyes as it twists my hair from my signature braid. I open my eyes and search the darkness for some sign that Gale had ever been here. Of course I don't find any and sorrow grips me as I think of my baby who I had planned to name after my best friend. Both dead and gone, ripped away from me unfairly.

I hear a twig snap behind me and I don't bother even looking to see who has followed me. I don't care. The person sits beside me and the smell of cinnamon fills my nose—Peeta. His thigh is pressed against my thigh and his shoulder pressed against my shoulder. We sit in silence and listen to the sounds of nature around us. He sits beside me and gives me the silence that I need.

As the sun starts to set in the sky, I finally speak.

"I held them in my hand," I choke out and Peeta looks at me, his eyes letting me know that he'll be here for me no matter what. "They fit in the palm of my hand, Peeta. I saw their eyes, their tiny fingers and toes. They were so small—they were literally tiny human beings. And he killed them, Peeta," I say and my voice breaks as tears finally pour from my eyes for the first time since I woke in the hospital.

I lean towards him and he pulls me into a hug. The pressure of his hug hurts my battered body but I need this comfort desperately.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss," he murmurs as he rocks me gently. "You'll never know how sorry I am," he says.

"I wanted them so badly," I cry, "they were the only good things to come out of all of this mess."

Peeta places soft kisses on the top of my head and holds me as I cry. When I have no tears left, he helps me to my feet and walks me home. He stops me with a gentle tug on my hand as I walk up the steps of my porch. I turn to face him.

"Katniss, I just want to let you know that this doesn't change anything. I would still marry you if you would have me," he says softly as he caresses my cheek. I lean into his healing touch and sigh.

I open my mouth to respond but he presses his finger to my lips.

"Don't say anything right now," he whispers. "I just wanted to make sure you know." He looks at my longingly and then turns to disappear into the night.

* * *

The months pass in a silent, numb blur—the only indication of the passing of time that I see is the lightening and the eventual fading of the bruises from my body. I don't speak unless Peeta is around—not even Prim can lure me from my depression. I stop going to my therapy sessions and spend my days trapped in my room. I lose weight until I'm skinnier than I was before I got pregnant. At night, I roam the halls or go on walks around district 12 to avoid the horrid dreams that haunt me: dreams of Cato ripping babies from my arms and beating them until their cries stop and their bodies grow cold.

Soon, I simply stop sleeping altogether and when I can't fight sleep any longer; I sneak to Peeta's house in the middle of the night. He knows to let me in at the sound of pebbles hitting his window. Each time I go to him, he leads me upstairs to his small room that smells of paint. His room isn't anything impressive. He has a dresser with a washbowl on top of it, a bed, and an easel. The walls are covered from floor to ceiling in paintings—of sunsets, birds, landscapes, and me. I was shocked the first time I saw them—first by how good they were then by how many of them were of me.

The best part about Peeta is that he doesn't ever push me. Each time I go there, he never tries to push me into doing anything physical. And he doesn't try to pry into my emotions—he simply waits for me to be ready to talk and when I am, he listens and holds my hand, providing me with silent support. When I don't feel like talking, he simply lets me climb into bed with him and holds me close all night long.

The worst part about staying with him is his mother. The first night I spent the night, I was rudely woken by her screaming. She flew into a rage, spitting insults at me that had my hands shaking in anger. Peeta had quickly pushed her out of the room and I heard them arguing on the other side of the door. I heard bits and pieces of him threatening to move out and tell his dad something about an old love affair. That had quickly shut her up and from then on, all I got were evil glares anytime we encountered each other.

As the 75th Hunger Games grows closer, tension builds in me and I draw further into myself. Anxiety builds and threatens to take over. Time loses meaning for me and soon I can't tell if I've been home for a week or months.

One morning I wake in Peeta's bed to the sound of crashing thunder through his dark room. I jump in alarm and Peeta wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I sigh in content, loving how safe I feel when I am around Peeta. I stretch languidly and Peeta groans as he is forced into awareness.

He stretches and I can feel something hard push into my back. Heat rushes through me and he jerks away from me with a soft curse. I lie stock-still in his bed, chewing my lip in surprise at my body's reaction to Peeta. I haven't felt that way about any man since the night of the ball with Cato—of course Pheromones forced that reaction from me.

"Sorry, Katniss," he mumbles sleepily and he yawns.

"It's okay," I whisper as I clamber out of the bed and stretch again. I'm still wearing my clothes from yesterday and I wonder how freaked out Peeta would be if I brought my pajamas next time. I laugh softly to myself.

"What are you laughing about?" he asks from the bed.

"Oh, nothing," I say and sigh. "Listen, thanks for letting me stay here once again, Peeta, I just can't get any sleep anywhere else."

"You know I don't mind, Katniss," he says as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes and then runs his hands through his tousled hair.

"So what are you doing today?" I ask as I fidget beside the bed.

Peeta leans up on his elbow and gives me a weird look. My breath catches in my throat as I take in his bed hair and the intense look in his sleepy eyes.

"Don't you know what today is?"

"No… Is it Sunday already?" I ask, confused about why that would even be important—the bakery was open seven days a week.

"Katniss, today is the day that they announce the Quarter Quell," he says.

Dread pits in my stomach as my brain furiously computes what this means.

"But that means that the reaping is tomorrow—that I will be leaving for the Capitol," I murmur as I sit heavily on the side of the bed. Where had the time gone?

"Yes," he says softly and pulls himself into a sitting position behind me on the bed.

"I don't want to leave," I say softly when what I really mean is that I don't want to leave him.

"I know," he whispers. I get the feeling that he knows what I really meant. He gently traces a finger down my arm and I shiver. His hands are smooth—smoother than mine and they feel heavenly against my skin.

Peeta sighs and light fills the room. My eye catches on something in the corner of his room. It's Peeta's easel but it has a sheet thrown over it. Thunder roars in my ears as I cross over to the easel and reach my hand out to grasp the sheet. I turn to face Peeta, giving him the chance to tell me not to look but he just gazes at me, his eyes dark with smoldering emotion. I tug the sheet off of the easel and turn to look. Lightning flashes again and I gasp at what I see.

At first I don't even recognize who it is. It's just a face of a girl—nothing gorgeous or outstandingly beautiful about it. She has a light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. Her eye lashes are long and gently brush against the hoods of her eyes. Her eyes are a nondescript grey and her lips a light shade of pink. She's nothing special but something totally out of this world at the same time. What makes the difference is her expression. It is full of hope, love, longing, happiness, and peace. Just looking at the painting, I start to feel these emotions. My eyes roam over the girl's face and to her hair. It is tightly braided to the side. That's when it hits me. It's me—or the person I would be if I wasn't totally messed up.

"What is this?" I gasp and thunder crashes through the room. I hear Peeta get up from the bed and he comes to stand beside me. I feel a gentle tug on the end of my braid as he plays with my hair.

"This is how I catch you looking at me sometimes," he whispers and goose bumps erupt painfully from my skin.

"I look like that?" I whisper in awe as I look at his painting.

"Sometimes, but only when you think no one is looking," he says softly and I almost swoon at the sound of his voice.

"Why did you paint this?"

"For Prim… I was going to give it to her when you left for the Capitol. She has been really worried about you lately—you've been so distant to her and I understand why but she doesn't. I figured seeing you like this may give her some hope."

The rain pours outside and I can hear splatters as the rain drops down relentlessly on the ground outside. The sound of it soothes me and puts me into a trance. I stare at Peeta's painting unseeingly.

"Everyone I care about ends up dead," I whisper in explanation as I stroke the canvas where my cheek is painted.

Peeta gently grasps my shoulders and turns me around to face him. His fingers tip my chin back and I get lost in his eyes.

"Katniss," he whispers, "I'm not dead and I'm not going anywhere."

When my eyes fall to his lips he steps away from me, clearing his throat and I snap out of my funk.

"I need to get home—Prim is going to be nervous about the Quarter Quell and the reaping tomorrow. I need to be there for her," I say and Peeta nods his head. "But I need you to come with me— I need you there for me," I whisper, dropping my gaze from his face.

"Of course," he murmurs. "Just let me get ready."

As we step out of his house, Peeta opens up an umbrella over our heads and motions for me to join him under it. I step under it and we work our way through the puddles towards my house. The wind blows softly around our feet and I can feel my pants beginning to soak. A huge gust of wind rocks us and the umbrella flies out of Peeta's hands.

I shriek as the cold water drenches my skin and the sky above us lights up. Peeta curses and turns to go after the umbrella but I grab his arm, keeping him with me.

"It doesn't matter," I laugh as I tip my head up to the sky, letting the rain wash over my face. A smile spreads across my face as the cold water seeps exhilaratingly into my skin.

I hear Peeta inhale sharply and I feel his eyes on me. The smile slowly slips from my face as I drop my head to look at him. His eyes burn brightly into mine and I see utter devotion on his handsome face. Rain races over his smooth skin and my hand twitches with the urge to touch him.

"What do you see when you look at me like that?" I ask him, my heart beating furiously in my chest. His eyes darken and slide down to lock on my lips. The tip of his tongue darts quickly out of his mouth to wets his lips slightly before he answers.

"The world," he whispers as he steps forward to kiss me. I go to him without question, wrapping my arms around his neck, he lifts me up as our lips mold together. I feel his hard, muscular chest and arms wrap around me but they don't strike fear in me like Cato's do. No, Peeta's instill a sense of security in me. His hands grip under my thighs as he holds me. The rain pours down on us and he kisses all memories of Cato from my mind. I see a light behind my closed eyelids and I feel the ground shake with thunder.

With a sigh, Peeta breaks the kiss and lets me slide to the ground. I feel every inch of his body against mine and my body warms with excitement. Goose bumps run across my body as my warmth battles with the freezing rain.

"I'm sor—"he starts but I cut him off.

"Don't," I say curtly as I gaze at him, "don't apologize for that."

He smiles brilliantly at me and offers me his arm. We trudge our way through the storm, laughing as we stomp in puddles, getting each other wet. My laughter rings in the entry way as we enter the house. Peeta is shaking is wet hair at me and little drops of water are landing everywhere.

Prim gasps at the sight of us laughing in unison. I turn to see her standing motionless in the middle of the sitting room. She looks at me as if she can't believe her eyes and I realize that she hasn't seen me smile or heard me laugh in months. In fact, the last time she heard me talk was when I arrived home from the Capitol all those months ago.

"Am I dreaming?" she whispers and her doubt pains me.

"No, Prim, you're not dreaming. I just lost my way for a little bit but I'm back now," I say softly.

"Just in time for you to leave," she says monotonously.

I cross into the other room and kneel down before her.

"Yes, I will be leaving but I will be back before you know it, little duck. This time I won't be in any danger so it shouldn't be too bad, right?" I ask her as I study her face.

"Cato will be there," she says and I frown—I had actually forgotten about that momentarily.

"Yes he will but I can take care of myself. He won't hurt me," I promise her and I hope to God that I am able to keep that promise.

Prim smiles softly and wraps her arms around me.

"I missed you, Katniss," she whispers and I rub her back slowly.

"I missed you too Prim and I'm sorry," I whisper back to her.

We pull apart when we hear the Capitol's anthem blasting in the other room.

"It's on!" My mom calls and the three of us usher towards the living room to join her. She looks surprised to see me but she quickly hides her face as she tries to school her emotions.

Lightning flashes and is followed by low, distant rumble. Ignoring our wet clothes, I pull Peeta down next to me on the couch and lean into him, tucking my feet underneath me. I wonder idly what the new ruling will be this time.

Every fifteen years, the Capitol hosts a special Hunger Games that has special reaping rules—all of which are horrible. One year, they reaped twice the amount of tributes; the next time, the made the districts pick their tributes; and before Haymitch won, they reaped from their existing pools of victors. I'm glad that they've gotten that one over and done with—I don't think I could take it if I had to be sent back. I get an anxious knot in my stomach as I watch President Coin draw a slip of paper from a mahogany box.

Her hair is tightly tied back today and the tightness of her bun, gives her a surprised look on her face. She clears her throat and begins to read. I grip Peeta's hand in mine as I listen.

"For this year's Quarter Quell tributes are to be reaped from all living victor families regardless of their age, to show that even victors do not have everything and that they still run the risk of losing the people that matter most."

There is a long pause as Coin doesn't say anything and the camera simply focuses on her blank face. Then the screen flickers off and the room is silent. My mind races as I try to make sense of what has just been said.

I look to Prim, horror on my face as she stares blankly at the TV screen. I hear sobs coming from my mom and I feel Peeta's hand tighten around mine. I hear the front door bang open and then Haymitch stumbles into the room as he looks at Prim in horror.

It's then that I know that he doesn't have any female members to put into the big glass bowl. And since district 12 only has two victors that means Prim is going to the Quarter Quell. I shoot to my feet and blackness closes in on me. I feel the strength drain from me and right before I hit the floor I'm able to say one thing.

"That fucking cunt," I hiss and then darkness swallows me.


	4. The Final Goodbyes

Chapter 4— The Final Goodbyes

When I come to, I am on the floor and Peeta is hovering above me. My head throbs angrily with every beat of my heart. I hear my mom screaming but I don't hear Prim—where is she? I try to sit up but Peeta pushes me down.

"Katniss don't move. You hit your head pretty hard," he says and strokes my face, trying to calm me. It doesn't work. I twist underneath him in agony. It's not physical agony but emotional agony—a teeth-grinding, fist-clenching, blood-pounding, angry agony.

I can feel the anger rising up in me and I know instinctively that I am being punished by Coin for not being convincing enough during my interviews and appearances. The public is unhappy which puts her in a tough spot which means I that I need to be miserable and the best way of doing that is by punishing me.

"Prim," I moan as I twist my head around, trying to catch a glimpse of her. I see her crumpled on her knees in front of the blank TV. I twist again and watch in odd fascination as Haymitch punches the wall, his fist disappears into the dark depths and I wish I could go with it—to just disappear into a dark place. Everything seems to slide into slow motion and the horror of this moment is fully revealed to me:

My Prim. Innocent little Prim is going to have to go into the arena and kill or be killed. I twist my head to look at her and the look of utter terror on her face is enough for me to push Peeta from me and to clamber to my feet and go to her. She won't be able to do it, I know it and if the look on her face is any indication, she does too. If only I could volunteer for her again—I would do it in a heartbeat.

I pull Prim into my arms.

"Oh, God Prim," I gasp, horrified. Big tears squeeze from my eyes and I can feel her shaking. In my arms, I realize just how small she is. I can feel her bony little arms shaking, and her pure heart thrumming furiously like a mockingjay's wings.

"Haymitch who do you have in your family?" Peeta asks from behind me and Haymitch sighs.

"No one. Snow got rid of them when I wouldn't play his sick sex games," he says, referring to the popular practice of selling victors to rich Capitol people for sex.

"Wonder who they are going to send as a male tribute," Peeta murmurs thoughtfully.

It's then that my mom finally unfreezes. She falls to the floor next to Prim and I, with a push I am shoved aside so that my mom can cradle Prim to her chest. Silent sobs shake her frame and she wildly strokes Prim's blonde hair.

"Oh, my baby," she croons as she rocks Prim in her arms. I can hear Prim start to cry and it rips at my heart.

Peeta lifts me and drags me to the couch. He sits with me, rubbing my arms in comfort and letting me cry. When my tears run dry he leans towards me to whisper in my ear.

"Katniss, I'm going to leave but if you need me later tonight just come over," he says as he places a kiss on my forehead.

I grip his arm in desperation.

"Don't leave me," I whisper urgently, tears burning in my eyes once again.

"You need time alone with your family… I shouldn't be here," he says softly and I cling to him.

"No, I need you here," I declare fervently.

He studies my face for just a moment before he nods and sits beside me on the couch.

"Katniss." My name comes out as a tiny, weak mew and I see Prim peeking out at me from between our mother's arms. She crawls out and crosses to me. "Katniss, it's not going to be okay this time… is it?"

Her wide, blue eyes sparkle delicately at me and tears spill from her eyes. I look at her face and see pure innocence shinning from every pore in her skin, tenderness glowing in her eyes, and fear shaking her tiny frame. My heart clenches painfully as I remember my time in the arena. I try to picture Prim doing what I've done—killing people… enjoying it and the thought revolts me.

"Prim, we'll get through this. I'll get you as much help as I can," I promise her. She sighs deeply and lays her head in my lap.

"It won't be enough. We both know it won't be enough," she sighs and closes her eyes.

Tears blur in my eyes at the awful truth. I want to deny it, to tell her that I'll be able to get her out of the arena alive but I know that I can't promise her that. I stroke her hair and her cheeks until with one dreamy sigh, she slips into sleep.

My mom stands beside me and looks down at Prim.

"She's so innocent, Katniss," she whispers.

"I know, mom, but I don't know what we can do. I can't go in her place again—I'm a mentor now and not to mention that I'm too old now."

"Didn't Coin say that any family member could be reaped no matter the age?" Peeta asks and we both look at him in surprise, our minds racing as we try to recall Coin's exact words. My mom falls to her knees, crying in relief at the revelation. She glances up at me and frowns at my puckered brow.

"Why are you not happy? I can go instead of her," she says and I just shake my head in doubt as a haunting warning bounces around in my head.

I_f you mess this up, I'll make sure that something bad happens to that little sister of yours…_

Coin had threatened those exact words to me the day of my first interview and I just knew that this was her following up on her threat. My mind jumps to when Seneca Crane had barreled into me at the party and apologized about my sister. Now I knew what that had been all about.

I open my mouth to explain my doubts when the shrill ring of the telephone cuts into the room. Thunder rumbles unhappily in the darkening sky outside and I hear the scattered drops of dying rain.

My mother gets up and answers the phone.

"Hello?" she whispers into the receiver as she turns her back to me. I see her shoulder stiffen and she turns to look at me. She holds her hand out with the phone in it towards me. "It's for you," she whispers, her face deathly white.

I gently get up, being careful not to disturb Prim. I press the cold receiver to my ear and try to swallow my heart from beating its way up through my throat. I don't even need to ask to know who it is—who else would be calling me besides _him._

"Hello?"

"Katniss," drawls his manipulative voice and I stiffen as emotion flows through my body. His voice brings back the pain and darkness of everything he has done to me.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"You know what this means don't you?" Cato asks and for a moment, I have no idea what he means but it doesn't take long for me to figure it out—he's talking about the reaping. I don't answer his question. "Your sister is going into the games, and I'm the head sponsor—"he trails off and dread boils sickeningly in my stomach.

I feel the familiar weight of hopelessness settle within me. Cato being a sponsor was bad enough but him being the head sponsor—the highest offering sponsor, this was going to be miserable. _He_ was going to make it miserable.

"Cato, please don't," I whisper even though I know he will.

"Oh, Katniss, I am so going to enjoy watching you beg for me to sponsor your sister and that won't even be the best part. The best part is how much you're going to hate doing it. I can just picture it now—all the things you'll do for me just to try to prolong you sister's pathetic little life…" he trails off as he imagines it and he chuckles darkly.

"Prim won't be going into the arena," I say coldly and his laugh puts the tone of my voice to shame. His laugh is so cold that it freezes me instantly and I can feel pieces of me starting to crack and shatter. Shaking, I cling to the receiver.

"Katniss, do you really think that Coin is going to let anyone volunteer for her?" His question brings to life one of my biggest fears.

"She's not going in the arena!"I scream and slam the phone down. I don't move after I hang up—I stand there breathing heavily, shaking from head to foot. Realization rolls through me as my breathing slowly calms. My mom is going to have to volunteer. We don't have another choice. It is either that or Prim is going to die.

I turn and look at my mom. Her chin is lifted and there is a light in her eyes that I haven't seen since before dad died. I realize then that she has finally found her new purpose in life. She has finally figured out that she should protect her family no matter the costs.

"We better get some sleep," she murmurs, "we've got a big day tomorrow. Haymitch, will you please carry Prim to my room for me?" Haymitch nods and pulls Prim's sleeping form into his arms. As they pass, my mom stops and looks into my eyes.

"I would do anything for her," she whispers softly and I have to fight back tears.

"I know, mom," I say and she kisses my forehead.

Peeta doesn't even doubt about where he is staying tonight. When my family has filed out of the room, he gently wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me towards to stairs, leading me towards my room. I numbly let him lead me.

_Everyone I care about ends up dead._

My self-proclaimed curse from earlier comes back to haunt me as Peeta helps take my shoes off. I shiver in my still wet clothes and Peeta goes to dig through my dresser drawers to find something dry for me to wear.

"I won't be able to save her," I mumble softly.

"Who? Prim or your mom?" he asks as he pulls clothes from the depths of my drawers.

"Both," I reply truthfully and Peeta turns, clothes in hand as he approaches me. "Cato is the head sponsor," I whisper and Peeta curses.

The head sponsor in the game is the person who has the most money to offer to the mentors. He is also the pack leader in a way. If he tells the other sponsors to stay away from a certain tribute, more than likely, they do as they are told. Cato's influence could affect the whole outcome of whether or not my mom gets out alive. If he tells people to not sponsor us, then my only choice would be to beg him or to try to win the games without the help of sponsors; which doesn't ever happened as far as I'm aware of.

"He's going to make this a living hell, Peeta. I won't be able to get any sponsors at all," I moan.

"Katniss, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to try to get your mom home safely," he says softly and I know he knows what that entails. I visualize myself doing anything Cato asks of me for Prim and shiver in disgust. I can't do that. I'll have to figure some other way out. We are silent, lost in our own pessimistic thoughts.

When I feel Peeta shiver beside me, I get up and grab the clothes that he has gathered for me. I head to my closet and dig around, trying to find my dad's old clothes. When I was younger, I had saved them for the longest time because I was convinced that I could still smell him. Once I realized that I really couldn't, I had gotten so used to holding onto them that I couldn't bring myself to throw them out. Finding them, I randomly pick a t-shirt and some shorts and throw them to Peeta.

"I'll take the bathroom and you can change here," I say. When I am done, I find Peeta still sitting on the bed but this time his clothes are dry and his wet ones are sitting on the desk in a soggy pile.

"I've been thinking, Katniss," he whispers and I turn my attention to him. "I'm going to volunteer tomorrow," he says with finality and I grow sick.

"No." My denial is loud and final but he doesn't listen.

"Yes, I need to make sure that your mom gets home safely," he says.

Desperation claws at me and draws me to him. I wrap my arms around him and pull myself onto his lap, my legs straddling each side of him, so that we are face-to-face.

"You going into the arena doesn't ensure my mom coming out alive," I tell him but he shakes his head.

"But it improves her chances," he argues.

"You're not going," I assert.

"You can't stop me," he says gently as he strokes the hair from my eyes. Devastation batters me. It's too much.

"You're being selfish," I accuse him.

"How am I being selfish?" he asks, exasperated.

"I can't lose you, Peeta," I yell at him, emotion choking me.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"I told you," I yell at him as I stumble from his lap.

He follows me, his arms outstretched towards me but I flinch away from him.

"Told me what, Katniss?"

"Everyone I love gets hurt. Every single one of them dies: my dad, Anne, my babies, and soon you and my mom."

"You love me?" he whispers, his eyes blazing and my breath gets caught in my throat. I start to shake my head and he rushes to my side, stroking at my cheeks and pulling me closer to him. "Tell me, Katniss," he demands, "do you love me?"

His pleading eyes gaze into mine and tears fill mine because I know that my love is going to kill him.

"Yes, Peeta," I say and he closes his eyes in response. I don't bother telling him that my love is flawed—that it has deep, dark gashes running tragically through it that only bring pain, destruction, and death. Peeta lets out a heavy sigh and a grin stretches his perfect face. He leans his forehead against mine and we take a moment to breathe and live in the moment, ignoring the horrible events that are rushing right towards us.

He steps away from me and pulls me into bed with him. As he holds me and we slowly drift off to sleep I hear him whisper something softly to me.

"I'm sorry," he says and I know he's apologizing because tomorrow he is going to volunteer for his death.

* * *

The sky pushes angrily down upon the large crowd that is gathered in town center in district 12. The clouds are an angry, oppressive grey and they hang low in the sky. I hear the very distant rumble of thunder and wonder if the reaping will get rained out. Effie reads my mind and steps up to the microphone in an all-black outfit that is very un-Effie but matches perfectly with the weather and how I feel. Her skin is a pale white and she has dark eye makeup on.

My eyes roam the crowd and I spot Prim standing the midst of girls that are safe from the death of the arena. She is wearing a pale pink dress and her hair is braided in her usual pigtails. The girls around her are all staring at her, knowing that she has a 50-50 chance of being called. Despite this knowledge, the attitude in the crowd is oddly upbeat for a reaping and I know it's because almost all of the people gathered are safe from being reaped—all but two. I see Peeta standing with the rest of the adults towards the back of the huge crowd. My eyes search for my mom's blue dress but I can't find her.

"Welcome, welcome to the 75th annual Hunger Games Reaping ceremony!" Effie cries but I can tell that it lacks her usual zest. She has been a hot mess all day today—mourning the fact that a person she cares for—my mom or Prim— is about to be picked for her death.

"Normally, I would draw a name right now but President Coin would like for me to go over some additional rules for this special reaping. First, the tribute pool is limited to the victors' family—age is not taken into account." Effie pauses here but the crowd is silent, having already heard this yesterday. With a throat clear, she continues: "Second, volunteers are allowed if they are a part of one of the victors' family."

I hear a muffled protest and see people in the crowd turn and look at Peeta as his plan for volunteering gets shot down. Relief floods through me and I feel a smile tugging at my mouth but I don't let it make an appearance.

"Third, volunteers must be between the ages of 12-18," she says with her Capitol way of talking and my heart stops beating. This ruins my mom's plan of volunteering for Prim. A short scream of protest fills the air and I know without looking that it came from my mom. A feeling of dread slowly makes its way through me and I know deep down that today is going to end in tragedy.

"And lastly, if the male or female position does not have a pool of tributes to draw from, then that position is to remain empty."

The only thing that can be heard when Effie finishes delivering the new rules is the sound of wind blowing ominously through the people gathered. I hear a muffled mewing and I know that my mom is trying to fight back a panic attack. My eyes find Prim's and I can see her shaking.

Effie sighs and I can hear the distress and unwillingness in it. "Ladies first," she says quietly. My heart beats wildly in my chest as she quietly clicks her way towards the big glass bowl that only hold two slips of paper—Prim and my mother's. A 50-50 chance… That is what this boils down to.

With another sad sigh, Effie reaches into the bowl and grasps a slip of paper in her fingertips. She pauses slightly then drops the paper and grabs the other one. She quickly draws it out and it feels like there is a drummer inside my chest. My hands start to sweat and shake and Haymitch reaches over to grab my hand.

"Calm down, Katniss. Prim still has a shot," he whispers as Effie pauses before the microphone. She opens the slip and we all wait while she reads the name. A small sob breaks from her mouth and she struggles to stay in control. I already know. Before she announces the name, I already know the tragic, awful truth. I shoot out of my chair and race across the stage. I'm at the stairs when I hear it.

"Primrose Everdeen." The name echoes across all gathered and I feel the familiar pull of déjàvu—the instinct to volunteer, to protect her rages in me but I know that there is nothing I can do. I hear a heart wrenching moan from inside the crowd. I quickly stumble down the stairs and start to push my way through people. I see my mom through the crowd and watch as she falls to her knees.

I push people out of my way, not caring who I hurt just so I can get to her. I can see peacekeepers closing in on her and anger floods me. My fists clench in anger as I see them circling around her like hawks.

"Katniss, don't!"

"Katniss, stop!"

I hear the warnings but I don't pay any attention to them, I need to protect my Prim. I see the peacekeepers converge in on her, like vultures upon a dead body. They drag her through the crowd and she stumbles. An angry roar erupts from me and I watch as people turn to face me, their expressions turning from confusion to surprise. I push past them and am a few steps from the peacekeepers when I am grabbed around my waist.

"No!" I scream as I am pulled back into the crowd. A hand goes around my mouth, cutting off any further protests. The smell of cinnamon fills my nose and a sense of betrayal flows through me and brings tears to my eyes. Why would he be doing this? I need to protect her! I struggle against his muscular arms but he won't let go.

"Katniss, quit it. You're going to make things worse for her. You can't help her now," he whispers against my ear as tears squeeze from my eyes and the truth settles into my heart like a knife.

The scene before me blurs with my tears and I see Prim join Effie on stage. Effie looks at her with such sadness and gently touches her cheek. She turns to the crowd and opens her mouth to talk but she closes it and sadly shakes her head. She's not able to make this a joyous moment. She clears her throat and when she talks, I can hear the sadness.

"That will be the end of this reaping seeing that neither Haymitch nor Katniss have a male family member to enter into the tribute pool."

Effie curtsies, turns and walks off the stage; the two peacekeepers dragging Prim follow. I watch as they disappear into the justice building. Peeta slowly lowers his hand from my mouth and his restraining pose turns into one of comfort.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss," he murmurs.

"This is a dream, right?" I ask as I look at him. He shakes his head slowly.

"No, it's not," he says softly. I feel him stiffen around me and I look around to see what could make him react like this. I see them almost instantly. Peacekeepers head towards us. They are coming to take me away. I grab Peeta's hand tightly.

"Don't let go," I whisper.

"Never," he replies and then they are on us.

* * *

The platform is packed with reporters and I'm surprised that Peeta and I have a moment to ourselves. The reporters are all turned, their eyes glued on the justice building waiting for Prim to come out. I imagine that she is saying goodbye to my mom and her friends right now. I only hope that my mom manages to keep herself together.

Peeta's hands roam over my face as he studies me; his eyes are urgent and deep.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask quietly.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispers and I can see the concern on his face.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried too. Going to the Capitol and being forced to work with Cato is a disaster waiting to happen—I know and so does Peeta.

I hold him tightly to me. "I'm so sorry," I whisper into his chest. He rubs my back and lays his chin against the top of my head.

"Don't worry about me, Katniss. Do what you have to do to get Prim home safely."

A sudden rush of excitement goes through the crowd of reporters and I hear the excited clicking of camera flashes. Shouts of Prim's name float around us and I know that I have to go.

Peeta sighs and I pull away from him. "Try to be safe," he whispers.

"I'll try but it won't matter," I say softly.

His mouth twists into a small grin and his fingers run along my jawline. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I love you," he murmurs and my heart squeezes tightly in my chest.

I bury my head in his chest, fear beating viciously at my mind. I don't want to say it. To say it again would be tempting fate. My love brings nothing but trouble and I don't want that for Peeta.

"It's okay," he whispers and I know that he's talking about my lack of response.

A dull ache starts in my heart and I wish I could just stay here with him. He understands me in a way that I never thought possible. The crowd around us chatters in excitement as they shout exclamations and questions at Prim. I know that our time is running out and knowing this makes my shoulders tighten in anxiety.

With a deep sigh, Peeta steps back and kisses me briefly. Warmth floods through my body as our lips meet fleetingly. He grabs my hand and helps me towards the train. Reporters jostle us and the breaks of the train release huge clouds of hot steam. With one last look at him, I turn and climb the stairs of the train slowly. I keep expecting him to stop me, to beg me to stay with him but he doesn't. He lets me go and awfulness of this moment burns in my eyes and tears at my heart.

Haymitch is already in the main train car, sipping his golden drink in the plush, velvety couches. The train is exactly as I remember it and pain strikes my heart as I look around and remember the short time that Gale and I spent here together.

"Where is Whytt?" I ask as I eye the drink in his hand.

"In his room already and it didn't look like he was in a good mood—apparently Madge doesn't understand why he has to go with you… I heard them fighting, she's not too happy," Haymitch comments as he gently swirls his drink. I eye the thing with distaste—not because I don't like alcohol but Prim's life depends on Haymitch and I. The last thing I need is a drunk Haymitch, giving her cryptic survival tips.

"Now listen here, Haymitch. My sister's life is on the line and I'm really going to need your help getting her back home. You need to lay off the alcohol," my voice is serious so I'm slightly shocked when he starts to laugh at me.

"Honey, you're alive aren't you? I think I know what I am doing," he says and takes another drink.

I roll my eyes. Me being alive is pure luck—or bad luck, depending on how you look at it. I feel the train car shift slightly under my feet and Prim comes into the car, her eyes red from crying. She quickly runs to the window and starts to frantically wave at the people on the platform.

I join her at the window, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. I see some kids from Prim's school on the platform. The girls are crying and the boys' faces are twisted up, trying to prevent tears from escaping. I search the crowd until I find him. Peeta's shoulders are hunched forward in defeat and he is gazing steadily at me. A trill of sadness shoots through me as I press my hand softly to the window. He lifts his hand and gives me a small wave, a sad little smirk on his smooth face.

As the train starts to pull away, I regret fills me and I wish with all my heart that I had told him just how much I love him.


	5. A Whole New World

Chapter 5—A Whole New Word

The train rocks and sways as we all sit on one couch in the theatre cart. Effie delicately chews on a chocolate covered straw berry while Haymitch is busy drinking himself into a stupor. Whytt is staring moodily at the screen, waiting for a recap of the reapings to start—he is still upset about the fight he had had with Madge before he left. Prim is curled up next to me eyeing the dessert cart, trying to decide which sweet to sample next.

She had already tried something that had gold flakes in it, something else that was on fire, and tried an assortment of other treats that she covered in chocolate from the fondue fountain but I knew that she was far from over. Kids were blessed with the kind of stomachs that could take in vast amounts of sweets.

Personally, I was waiting for her to become sick with all the sweets she was consuming but after the day she had had, I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop. We had spent all day discussing strategy with Haymitch and the closer and closer we got to dinner, the more obvious it became at how scared Prim was. She had eventually started to shut down, and draw into herself.

Working out a strategy for Prim was proving to be difficult. Haymitch wanted to put Prim into an alliance while I wasn't quite sold on the matter. While I knew that Prim needed all the help she could get, I knew how corrupted an alliance could be and I wasn't sure if Prim could handle that. She was such a trusting soul that it would shock her when the other person or people in the alliance decided to turn on her. Haymitch and I had gone rounds and rounds arguing if it was what was best for her until Prim laid her head on the table with an aggravated moan.

"Katniss, let's face it- I won't be able to make it out of there by myself. I'm going to need a lot of help—and luck," she added under her breath. She picked her head up, and I could see the stress on her face. "I'm going to form an alliance—now we only need to argue about with whom. It's safe to assume that the careers are out of the question so we'll work from there."

Haymitch had laughed and I looked Prim over with appreciation. She needed that kind of attitude if she wanted to survive this. I nodded briefly to her with a smile. The conflict of an alliance was partially settled. When we moved onto discussing what weapons she should learn to use, her eyes glazed over and I caught her day dreaming out the window every time I turned to ask her what she thought about a particular weapon. We had ended our planning as the train car grew dark.

My attention is drawn back to the present when the big screen in front of us starts to flicker and Caesar Flickerman's face appears. He smiles blindingly at the camera.

"Today was a great day as tributes were reaped for this year's Hunger Game. The Quarter Quell will be taking place soon and we do have a wide variety of tributes this year."

We all sit quietly in a silent fascination as we watch Reapings from across Panem take place. Next to me, Prim fidgets all throughout the show, going to get desserts sitting down, chewing on her snacks and looking everywhere but the TV. I know that she is trying to distance herself from her new found enemies and I won't be having any of that.

"Primrose," I hiss, using her full name so she knows that I am serious, "you need to sit still and watch. We need to determine who we should put you in an alliance with."

After my firm rebuttable, Prim sits silently beside me, watching the TV with huge eyes.

I pick out a few tributes that I would be okay with Prim teaming up with. As I think them over in my head, I realize that I picked these people not because I thought that they could help her win—but because I didn't think they would go after her and try to kill her. First is Marble, a ten year old girl from District 2. She has round, shiny eyes that reminds me of two sparkling marbles set into her baby fat face. Next is Joule, a thirteen year old from District 5. She resembles a mouse and I bet she is good at finding dark places to hide in. There is also a young girl from District 8 named Avanti. She is only eight years old and my heart breaks as I watch her slowly make her way to the stage and no one volunteers for her. There is also a nine year old boy from District 9 named Bran. He's nothing special but his warm, brown eyes instill a sense of calm in me and I just know that there isn't a violent bone in his body.

As the screen flickers to black, Prim takes a deep shuddering breath.

"Katniss, did you see them?" she asks, fear shaking her voice pitifully. I don't even have to ask to know what she is talking about.

"Yes, I saw them," I whisper and pull her tight to me, placing a small kiss on her forehead. The urge to protect her rises within me and takes the breath from me.

I knew who she was talking about of course. She was talking about the careers: From District 1—Tinsel and Lametta. Twins who had black hair and slightly slanted eyes. They were average sized in both stature and muscle-wise, which made me wonder what their skill was that made them so deadly.

I was surprised when only one person stepped forward in District 2 and even more surprised by the person who did it. Marble, the round baby-faced girl eagerly stepped forward to volunteer for a six year old girl who looked like a girl version of Cato with her platinum blond hair and big, blue eyes. However, no one was there to volunteer when Cato's brother, Beaufort, was called. My heart broke in my chest for the poor, lanky boy as he stumbled to stage. Maybe it would help me out though. Maybe Cato would want to focus on helping his brother and wouldn't have time to torture me on my quest for sponsors.

The careers in District 4 are sinewy and have tanned skin. Their faces are full of sharp angles, their cheekbones look like you could cut yourself on them and their noses are long, their eyes piercing and full of deadly knowledge. The girl's hair is long and blows softly in the wind as she reaches out and grabs the boys hand—a rare show of unity for tributes; especially career tributes.

There is a tribute form District 6 who looks like he could be accepted into the career pack—his name is Nash, a twenty-eight year old man whose skin is permanently stained with car oil. He is big and towers over Avanti who was reaped with him.

"Katniss, I can't win against them," Prim murmurs and I pull back to look at her.

"Don't say that," I protest, "Don't let me catch you ever talking like that again. If I'm going to get you home, I need you to believe that you can make it home. Do you understand me?"

Prim nods her head in agreement but I can see in her eyes the doubt and I know right then that it will be her downfall. She lays her head against my shoulder and yawns hugely.

"Why don't you run off to bed, Prim? It's going to be a tough day tomorrow."

Prim turns to look at me as she stretches. "What's it like, Katniss?" Her eyes are sparkling in excitement and I feel my face stretch into a smile as I look at her dancing eyes. To see her look like this with what is coming makes me feel hope and it shows just what kind of a person Prim is. She sees the best in everything. She sees the good in the bad, excitement in sorrow, and hope in death

"It's beautiful," I whisper as my eyes caress her face. "It's grand and the food is amazing," I say and she sighs. Her eyes grow hazy as she tries to imagine the grandeur of the Capitol.

"Bed, Prim," I say softly and her eyes refocus on me. With a breathy grin, she turns and wishes everyone good night. She turns and walks from the room, slightly leaning forward on her toes and suddenly, I can't breathe. In that moment, she looks and walks so much like Rue that I want to get up and snatch her to my chest and hold her there—to protect her from the evilness of the games.

"What did you think?" I ask as Prim's figure disappears through the door.

"I'm thinking that the people who are willing to ally up with her aren't going to really improve her chances of surviving," Haymitch says and his words are like cold water, putting a coldness in me that I'm not sure will ever go away.

"I know," I whisper, "but we need to try to find someone who can help her," I say and my desperation is clear in my voice.

"I think you guys are going to just have to wait to see who approaches her for an alliance—make it look like she doesn't need an ally and people will want her just because she seems out of reach," Whytt says moodily and I groan in frustration.

"I can't stand the waiting," I moan and Haymitch laughs cruelly.

"You do realize that the games is one huge waiting game, right? We wait to see if we get sponsors, we wait to see if our tributes will win, and we wait to see if our sponsors will follow through on their promises."

"I wish we could sponsor them ourselves," I mutter sullenly.

"Me and you both, honey. Trust me, you're not going to like the behind the scenes of sponsorship. They love to watch you beg and right when you're convinced that there is no way that they will sponsor you, they agree."

"I can just imagine how much fun Cato is going to have with you, Katniss," Whytt comments sarcastically as he raids the dessert cart.

"Whytt, you don't have to be such a jerk about it," I hiss. "Anyway, in case you didn't realize, Cato's brother was reaped so I'm sure he'll want to sponsor him and make sure he's okay. He won't have time to bug me," I reply angrily and I hope that I'm right.

"Katniss, you'd be stupid to think that Cato will give up on you just because his brother is in the games. Honestly, do you even think that he gives a shit about his brother? He killed his own children for God's sake," Whytt yells at me and slams from the room. I glare at his retreating back.

"Why did he even come if he didn't want to be here?" I ask Haymitch angrily. "It's not like he does any good anyways. Cato always gets to me even if Whytt is my guard," my voice is petulant and sullen but I don't care. I flop back onto the couch and Haymitch takes a deep breath, and sits forward.

"Listen, Katniss, we need to have an honest talk," he pauses here and I know what he is going to say. "The odds of getting her out alive are slim to none. We are going to have to get her into an alliance with someone strong and we're going to need a sponsor—a damn good one at that. You need to know that you may have to put aside your feelings so you can get her one."

I turn to look at him, revulsion on my face. "Haymitch, I would do anything for her but I _can't_ do that. I can't lie down and let Cato walk all over me. Not after what he did to my babies," my voice gets tight and I fight back tears as I remember my red, tiny, dead babies.

"Well, then she dies," he sighs and rises groggily from the couch. With faltering footsteps over the carpet, he stumbles from the room.

Effie sighs beside me. "Katniss, dear, he _is_ right," she sings sadly and pats my hand gently.

"I know," I moan. I let my head fall heavily on the back of the couch and close my eyes.

"Katniss," she whispers and I am shocked to hear the heartbreaking emotion in her wavering voice. My eyes find her face and I can see how upset she is. Her brow is furrowed delicately and her eyes fill with tears. "I'm so sorry this is happening. I never really thought anything of it before and I'm sorry for that—" she pauses as she fights a sob. "I never realized how bad it was," she says and her eyes look at me, pleading and spilling over with tears.

I know what she is talking about. She is talking about the games and the government that she so blindly follows.

"It's okay Effie," I whisper back to her and I watch in horror as tears slip effortlessly from her eyes. My eyes dart around the room, trying to find an escape from this torturous emotion. I'm not too surprised when I find none.

"Effie, it's okay," I murmur as I pat her arm, "I just need you to do your job and I'll do mine so we can get her out of there alive." Effie smiles at me and nods her head. I'm relieved when she rises to her feet.

"Well, I'm off to bed. You should go too, Katniss. We'll arrive at the Capitol tomorrow and it would be so embarrassing if it looked like you didn't get any sleep."

I smile softly as the old Effie returns and I follow her out of the room and down the hall. I pause momentarily outside of Prim's door and debate entering or not. Finally, I push the door open and cross to her bed.

She is curled into a ball at the top of the bed, her knees are tucked into her chest and her braids are spread out on her pillow. The blankets have been kicked off of her and lay uselessly at the end of the bed. I reach down and pull the blanket over her sleeping form. She sighs and stretches in her sleep. Her thick lashes brush her cheek and I gently pull a wayward strand of hair from her face. She sucks in her lip and bites gently on it and I can feel a smile on my face.

I turn to leave but I hear her whimper in her sleep and that noise decides for me. Quickly, I take my shoes off and crawl into bed with her. She turns to me in her sleep and she curls up to my warmth.

I toss and turn all night. My heart beats fearfully in my chest, as if it knows that we are drawing closer and closer to a monster. My body hums with anxiety as if it knows that the person who has caused it so much damage is near. The sky is growing light when I finally drift off to sleep.

It seems like I have only just closed my eyes when I hear excited screaming and the sounds of thundering footsteps. I open my eyes just in time to see Prim streaking through the room, throwing herself onto the bed.

"We're here, Katniss!" she yells and dread erupts in my stomach. I shoot up in bed and my eyes dart to the window, trying to defy what I am being told. I see the gleam of the Capitol's buildings in the distance and my heart squeezes painfully. My eyes shoot to Prim and I try desperately to memorize how she looks in this moment.

Her eyes are shinning wonderfully in excitement and her face is stretched into a breathtakingly innocent smile. She is jumping up and down on my bed as her eyes gaze out the window at the growing city. In the moment, she has totally forgotten the significance of what this means—this is one more step towards the games.

"It's like a whole new world, Katniss," she breathes in excitement.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier?" I demand and my voice comes out sounding angry and panicked. Prim turns to look at me and I watch as her excitement fades. Her eyes water and her lip quivers in response to the anger in my voice.

"Why would I? You've always gotten up whenever you felt like it," she murmurs softly as she sits on the bed. Her shoulder slump and I can tell that her excitement is gone.

"I wanted to spend the day with you, Prim. After today, everything is going to go so quickly," I murmur and she crawls to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I'm scared, Katniss," she whispers and I rock her back and forth.

"I know, Prim. You just have to try to fight it. Try to keep your fear from showing, show your bravery instead. I know it's hard but you have to try."

"You make it look so easy, Katniss. How did you do it?" She asks and her big blue eyes look at me in question.

"With your help," I reply simply and she looks confused. "I promised you that I would come home and so I had to do whatever it took to do that. You made me strong through everything that I have been through—the games, losing Gale, being with Cato. I survived it all for you," I say and she nuzzles closer to me.

"I'll try to win for you, Katniss. After everything you've been through, I'll try my hardest to win," she murmurs and I just hold her. There is nothing I can say because I know what her odds are and no matter how much she wants it, that won't decide her fate—luck will.

We sit together on the bed and watch as the glistening city grows bigger and bigger in the window. I hold her hand as I dish out advice to the young tribute. I tell her to listen to Cinna—that he knows what he is doing. I tell her to stand proud and keep her chin up tonight during the tribute parade. I also tell her to look out for an ally but to not get too close to anyone until I get the chance to approve.

The room is enshrouded in darkness as we pass through the tunnels that run underground the Capitol. I pull Prim closer to me, knowing that any moment, this will be over. I see the darkness growing lighter—the end speeding rapidly towards us.

"Go to the window," I urge her.

"Why?" she whispers and I can hear fear shaking her voice.

"It's time to be brave now Prim and face the public. The stronger you appear, the more sponsors you will get," I say and gently push her from the bed.

In just a second, the room changes from dark to blindingly light. Prim stumbles to the window and gasps at the crowd that is gathered on the platform. I see her face in the reflection of the window and I can see the awe-filled grin on her face.

I don't have to look to know what the crowd is doing. They are cheering and tripping wildly over themselves, desperate to get a glimpse of the new tribute. Their cameras are clicking wildly and they hungry for any kind of story that they can get.

Prim raises her chin and starts to wave hesitantly at the crowd gathered. I smile softly, knowing that they probably love that. The train glides to a stop and Effie bursts into the room. She has tears streaming down her face and she lets out a sob at the sight of Prim at the window.

"It's time to go, Prim, come with me," Effie hiccups and Prim turns from the window, a frown on her face when she sees how upset Effie is. She skips daintily to her side a grasps her hand.

"No crying, Effie. Everything will be okay," Prim says confidently and smiles up at Effie who smiles back at the little girl with the braids. "Now dry those tears and let's go," she says as she pulls Effie from the room.

I laugh softly and sit stonily on my bed as the realization hits that this is it. This is the beginning of everything. That Prim will never be the same after this—she will either be a victor or she will be dead. Coldness seeps into my body and I shiver on my bed. My body longs for Peeta's soothing touch and bright smile. I look around the room to see if there is a phone but I don't see one. I see Whytt step in and I turn to face the window. My spine stiffens in anger.

"What do you want Whytt?" I ask coldly and I hear him sigh.

"Katniss, I am sorry I've been in such a bad mood. It's just that I know how hard it is to keep you safe and it drives me nuts that I don't do a good job at it no matter how hard I try."

I feel the anger slowly leave my body and I deflate as it leaves until I am hunched over. "It's okay, Whytt. I know how hard it is—in fact it's almost impossible. You just have to do your best," I say softly.

"I don't even think that my best is going to be good enough, Katniss. Not when it comes to Cato. Especially when I'm not allowed to be at most of your events," he says and I can hear the aggravation and desperation in his voice.

"I'll talk to Effie sometime tonight and make sure that she gets you on the list for my events," I respond.

"Thanks," he says and silence fills the room.

My thoughts wander to Prim—what is she doing right now? Has she made it past the crowds? Is she scared? Does she wish I was with her? Whytt clears his throat behind me, pulling me from my thoughts of Prim.

"Haymitch says that you need to hurry up and get ready."

I groan and stumble into the bathroom for a quick shower. When I exit the bathroom in my normal jeans and t-shit, I find Haymitch sitting on my bed. He looks over what I am wearing with a critical eye. I tug on my t-shirt nervously and Haymitch shakes his head and gets up from my bed to search through my closet. He emerges with a short white dress and throws it to me.

"Put that on and quick. I'm going to call for some emergency stylist help." I would be offended but he doesn't give me any time to. Haymitch turns and leaves the room, leaving me standing in my room, confused as to what is going on. Slowly I turn to go back into the bathroom to change.

The dress is pretty—it covers my chest up to the base of my neck and is short sleeved. It fits tight like a glove until my waist where it gradually loosens to flow around my middle thighs. The pattern on the dress is a faded and symmetrical. It vaguely resembles some sort of animal print. It's a little too short for my tastes but that's Capitol attire for you.

There is a banging on the bathroom door and when I cross to open it, a tiny man bursts through the door. His hair is dyed the colors of the rainbow and he is wearing an expensive looking pink suit.

He doesn't even bother to introduce himself, instead he drags me to the ottoman in the bathroom and shoves me down on it and gets to work. Watching him work is dizzying. He flies around the bathroom one second tugging at my hair, the next curling my lashes and dabbing dark makeup around my eyes. Haymitch sits on the counter and smiles irritatingly at me. I want to protest as the little man starts to rub lotion all over my exposed skin but I know better than to question a stylist. Within fifteen minutes, the short man declares that his work is done and he quickly leaves the room without a glance back at me.

I stand and Haymitch eyes me, his face shows his shocked approval. My eyes find their reflection in the mirror and I am stunned. My pale dress is beautifully complemented by my skin which is oddly pale and appears to be slightly glowing in its paleness. My hair has been taken from its braid and lies wildly around my shoulders. It looks like it hasn't even been brushed and it helps me look wild. My eyes are dark and are surrounded by dark makeup—I look like an animal that is ready to attack and I love it.

"What was the point of all of this, Haymitch? Aren't we just going to wait in the apartments until the parade?" I ask moodily as I put on my silver high heeled shoes. Haymitch laughs at my naïve question.

"Katniss, being a mentor isn't as easy and hands off as you think it is. We're heading to a dinner with the other mentors to meet all the sponsors."

I freeze and dread fills me. With this news, my attire is now vastly inappropriate. I don't want Cato seeing me like this.

"I can't go dressed like this, Haymitch!" I exclaim and his grin grows. I have a sneaking suspicion that he planned this.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, but we need to sell you to the sponsors along with Prim. You're a female mentor and the more female you appear, the better shot we have of other sponsors sponsoring us besides Cato."

"Yeah, but if Cato sees me like this, he definitely won't want any other sponsors working with me," I argue and Haymitch shrugs his shoulders.

"It's a tight line that we are walking Katniss," he jumps down from the counter and walks from the room. "Now come on. We are already late."

Cameras flash, blinding me as I stumble after Haymitch from the train. I hear gasps of approval as I pass and whispers follow me wherever I go. The only way that I know that we have entered a building is by the cold air that attacks my skin. The whispers from the crowd die away and I can finally blink the black spots from my eyes. My high heels click on the hard floor and Haymitch drags me towards the dining room where we ate the night before my big interview all those months ago.

"Hopefully, we can slip in there quietly without too many people noticing us," I whisper and Haymitch looks at me over his shoulder.

"With the way that you're dressed, I wouldn't count on it, Katniss," he says and I glare at him.

Turns out he was right, as soon as we step into the room all chatter stops and heads turn to look at me. Everyone is sitting at the table, soups steaming in front of them. Mentors line one side of the table while sponsors line the other. Cato sits at one end of the table and Keeth Lingenberry at the other—he must be the second highest offering sponsor. Luckily, everyone is sitting in order of the districts they represent and the only open seats are right next to Keeth.

I avoid Cato's gaze as I shakily make my way to my seat. I hear people whispering about me—about my pale lustrous skin, about the dress that only serves to heighten my paleness. I feel embarrassed but I don't feel the telltale heat creeping into my cheeks and it's then that I know that the lotion that was rubbed on me prevents my skin from showing any color.

Our chairs scrape loudly against the floor and echoes into the silent room. I sit down and stare at my placemat, not daring to look up at the sponsors or other mentors. Servers place steaming soup in front of us and still no one talks. Beside me Haymitch clears his throat.

"What the hell are all of you staring at?" he grumbles and the spell is broken. Noise fills the room as people start to chatter again. I don't dare look up the table though. I can feel Cato's eyes on me and I feel my embarrassment grow but my cheeks shimmer in their paleness instead of growing red.

I feel Keeth's hand on mine and I jerk my hand from him in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he says and I can tell that I've offended him.

_Crap!_ I can't afford to be offending sponsors. I let out a shaky laugh and look at him. He looks taken aback by my appearance. I can see my glowing skin reflected in his eyes and I can just imagine how bizarre I must look.

"I'm sorry, Keeth, I was just nervous and you scared me," I say as I lie my hand on his and smile. He stares at me in awe and I know instinctively that he's attracted to me. I need to remember to thank Haymitch for his brilliant choice in stylist later. Keeth shakes his head softly, trying to clear his thoughts and he smiles back at me. I can feel Cato's eyes digging into the back of my head but I ignore him—I need to try to get a sponsor.

"So, are you excited for the parade tonight?" I ask and Keeth stares at me a moment longer before he answers.

"Oh, very excited," he says sarcastically and it's then that I remember that he told me that he hates being a sponsor.

"I know how you feel—my little sister is a tribute and it's killing me," I tell him and he drops his head to look at his lap. To me, it looks like he is ashamed but I don't know why he would be.

With his head lowered, I allow my eyes to wander down the line of sponsors. When they catch me looking, they frown, their faces growing pale and they shift in their seats so that their backs are partially to me. I stop my eyes before they wander to Cato. I turn my attention back to Keeth and I find him staring at me again. I blush, my skin glowing where I should be turning red.

"So, what do you think of the tributes this year?" I ask, my heart beating heavily in my chest. I know that I am fishing for information on who he thinks he will sponsor but I don't care—I need to gauge where Prim falls in his list of tributes.

"Well, we certainly do have some big ones this year. Did you see the guy from District 6?" Keeth lets out a low whistle and shakes his head. I slump in defeat.

"Sure, he has muscles but I bet he's not smart. Prim, on the other hand, is clever beyond her years," I say as I take a sip of white wine. It tastes sweet and I take another gulp, welcoming the warm feeling it starts in my body. I can hear Haymitch beside me talking to a sponsor across the table. His approach is to point out every possible flaw the other tributes may have.

Keeth laughs. "That's real subtle, Katniss," he remarks and my skin glows in embarrassment. I clutch his hand in desperation.

"Don't laugh at me, Keeth. I'm trying to protect my sister and I will do anything that needs to be done to ensure that. Now can you help me or not?" My question is blunt and I can see the surprise on his face. I watch from the corner of my eye as his hand inconspicuously knocks his silverware onto the floor. He motions with his eyes for me to pick them up. With a frown I bend down under the table and search from them. I nearly shriek when I hear him next to me, his breath blowing against my paled skin.

"Katniss, listen, no one here is going to sponsor you. I'm sorry but your sister isn't a good business choice but even that wouldn't stop me from trying to help you. It's Cato; he has threatened anyone who dares to help sponsor your sister. He's already claimed her and as head sponsor, we have to respect that."

"But he's not going to help me unless I do whatever he wants," I complain.

"It doesn't matter. He's claimed her and if he decides not to give her any gifts then that is his decision as her sponsor."

"Well, don't her mentors have to agree to let him sponsor Prim?" I ask, desperate to find a way out of this mess.

"Yes, but he knows that you will agree because none of the other sponsors will dare to sponsor her now that he has claimed her," he explains as he grabs his silverware off the floor. With a sympathetic smile, he returns above the table.

I follow him up and refuse to give Cato the satisfaction of my attention. I lean over to Haymitch and whisper the situation we are in to him. He frowns and glares at Cato. I turn back to Keeth with a smile. I'm not giving up on a different sponsor for Prim and I think I will have a chance with Keeth.

By the time dinner is over, I've told Keeth about every good thing about Prim—how smart she is when it comes to healing things, how rapidly she learns, how determined she is, and how quickly she can run. He listens politely but I can tell that I'm not really getting through to him. Halfway through dinner, I change my tactics and I start to flirt shamelessly with him. His eyes light up with each complement and hand touch that I give him.

With dinner over and done with, sponsors and mentors start to push back from the table and stretch. I know that the time of the parade is drawing closer and I wonder what Cinna has decided to put Prim in—I honestly don't see how he could possibly top what Gale and I were in last year.

I draw nearer to Keeth. "Want to sit together during the parade, Keeth?" I ask with a smile, knowing that sponsors and mentors share a special box above the rest of the crowd. He smiles down at me but his eyes flicker to something behind me and he draws away from me.

"I don't think that is a good idea," he says curtly and with a disappointed grimace, he leaves the dining room.

Cato's scent fills my nose and I stiffen, my skin glows as fear rushes into my body. I take a deep, calming breath and I turn slowly to face him. I'm not prepared for this—I'm not ready to face the man who killed my children.

"Katniss," he breathes and my heart beats erratically in my chest. His face is even more handsome then I remember and it takes me the breath right out of me. His eyes speak to me and something deep within me responds to them.

"Cato," I say shortly with a nod of my head. I see Haymitch hovering by the door, waiting for me.

"I thought that maybe we could sit together during the parade," he drawls. His hot hand on my arm seeps warmth into me and my skin pulses with every beat of my heart. I see Cato's eyes fill up with wonder. "Katniss, you are breathtaking. Tell me, how did they get your skin to do this?" he asks and he reaches forward to caress my glowing cheek. I flinch away from his touch, my kneejerk reaction to him.

"Katniss, I'm not going to hurt you," he says stiffly—his angry tone is a contradiction to the words that come from his mouth. His eyes flash brilliantly at me and my skin flickers in response. His hand reaches for my face and this time I allow his fingers to brush against my paled cheek. The contact makes me gasp.

His touch works its way through my body, destroying all the defenses I have built up against him. But it's not strong enough to destroy the fact that he killed our children though. I try to push that melancholy thought away—I can't save my babies but I still have a shot at saving Prim.

"Lotion," I answer his earlier question and my voice is a quiet whisper.

"Well, you truly do look amazing," he says and steps closer to me. I retreat but his hands grasp me and keep me in my spot. I know he wants to kiss me and the thought revolts me on one level and excites me on another.

"Please, don't Cato," I say but I don't bother struggling against him. He grins down at me and draws closer. I close my eyes and wait to feel his lips on mine but it never comes. I open my eyes to see Haymitch gripping Cato's forearm, a furious scowl on his face.

"Cato, don't let me catch you touching her again. I already know for a fact that President Coin told you to keep your hands to yourself."

Cato laughs coldly as he releases me from his grasp and steps away. "Don't worry, Haymitch, with her sister's life on the line and no sponsors willing to sponsor her, Katniss will eagerly fall into my arms just to save her precious Prim," he turns to go but I call out after him.

"And what about your brother, Cato?" He looks down at me and I can see the evil in his eyes.

"What about my brother?" He growls and my skin shimmers in fear.

"Who is going to make sure he gets home safely?"

"I really don't think that that is of any concern to you, Katniss," he says coldly and I swallow my fear. "Now, if you know what is good for Prim, you'll join me for the parade. I'll make sure to save a spot for you." He turns and walks from the room and my legs grow weak.

"Haymitch, I'm going to have to make a deal with the devil," I say and my voice shakes.

"Keep it together, Katniss. We still have a few days to try to fight this before the games start. We'll try to convince one of the other sponsors to go against him."

When we look at each other, I can see the hopelessness in his eyes and I know that my eyes have the same look in them. Haymitch throws his arm around me and drags me towards the door.

"It'll be okay, Katniss," he croons. "It has to be okay," he repeats mostly to himself but I already know: the only way this will all be okay is if Prim makes it home and it seems like the only way to do that is to make a deal with the devil himself.


	6. The Sponsors' Box

_**Just a little note**: If you want to see the inspiration I got for Katniss' dress and glowing skin Google images for "Jennifer Lawrence Interview Magazine" and you'll see one of her in a white looking dress with her hands on her hips and her legs spread apart (on my screen it's the third to last picture on the first row). Her skin looks luminescent and I love it!_

* * *

Chapter 6— The Sponsors' Box

I survey the Sponsors' box, searching for a place to sit. I almost laugh when I realize that the box is segregated—mentors in the back and sponsors up front. I wonder why it's like this—aren't the other mentors concerned about getting a good sponsor?

I see Keeth sitting in a far corner up front and I look for a seat near him but there are none. When our eyes meet he turns his body from me and I realize that he made sure there wasn't a seat available for me near him. Cato's colossal body catches my eye and I wonder why he's sitting with the mentors and not the sponsors. Next to him, his mentor, Brutus sits. Haymitch brushes past me to sit in the empty chair next to Brutus.

I let my eyes wander back to Cato who hasn't noticed my presence yet. He is leaning forward, chatting with a girl with short spiky hair and a handsome man who is sitting beside her on the row below Cato's. I recognize them both—they are Johanna Mason and Finnick Odair. Both are previous Hunger Games victors. I see her mouth move but I don't hear what she says. I watch in fascination as the two boys throw their heads back in laughter. Cato's rings out above Finnick's the sound of it turns me cold in surprise. It sounds happy and normal—not the mean, evil ones that he usually gives me.

I glare at Johanna and my skin flickers in anger and something else that I can't quite put my finger on. Cato's hand brushes against her arm that is thrown over the back of her chair and its then that the emotion clicks in me: I'm _jealous_.

I watch as Cato says something back to her, his eyes showing nothing but open friendliness. She starts to laugh and Cato smiles pleasantly at her. I wonder what she has that I don't. What is it that makes Cato treat her so normally while he tries to destroy me at every turn? I glare hatefully at her and it's like she senses my eyes on her. Her wide-set eyes lock with mine and something strange passes between us. I sense hostility on her face as her lip curls in disgust.

"Oh, look boys. The girl on fire is trying to be more like a Capitol citizen. Let me tell you, I could barely eat dinner tonight with her there," she sneers and Cato and Finnick grow quiet as they turn to look at me. Finnick looks interested while Cato's dark gaze looks hungry. My face must have shown the confusion I felt because she clarifies what she means with her next sentence: "Nice skin," she sniggers.

I'm horrified when my skin pulses angrily at her, first shining brightly then flickering into a dull nothing just to shine radiantly again in the next second. Johanna grins at the proof of my anger and I grit my teeth together.

"Nice hair," I mutter to myself and Johanna glares at me. I school my face into a blank mask and bat my eyelashes at her innocently. My eyes seek out Cato and I clench my fists as I realize that he is laughing at me. He pats the empty seat beside him and I lift my chin in dismissal.

I spot an empty chair up front between two overweight sponsors and I head towards it, stopping briefly to grab an alcoholic drink from an Avox on the way there. I stand before them and they gape up at my flashing skin in awe. They look very similar—the only real differences is that one has a huge nose and squinty eyes while the other has normal facial features but is balding terribly. Both of their skin is covered in a sheen coat of oil. When I look closely at their beards, I see crumbs of food and I fight to repress my shiver of disgust—I've got a job to do.

"Is anyone sitting here?" I ask as I motion to the empty chair between them.

They stutter and spill their drinks as they assure me that I can sit there. I smile pleasantly at them and lower myself between them. I take a couple of gulps of my drink, wincing as it burns its way down to my stomach.

"So what's with the segregation?" I ask and flutter my eyelashes. I feel stupid but I can't doubt the effectiveness it has on the two men as they stutter and stammer to answer my question.

"Not q-quite sure…" big nose says.

"It's always b-been that way," the other one finishes.

"Oh," I murmur, "Well, I hope you guys aren't too upset that I broke the tradition…" I look at them both with wide eyes and they shake their heads furiously. I smile brilliantly at them, my skin glowing and down the rest of my drink. I motion to the Avox for another and I watch as the light skinned man makes his way towards me.

"Would you guys like something to drink?" I ask and they both shake their heads as they lift their glasses of water to me.

"N-no," the bald one stutters.

"Impairs my j-judgment," the other one says and I put on a fake pout.

"Aw, come on! One won't hurt," I exclaim as I take three drinks from the tray and pass them around, keeping one for myself.

"I g-guess one c-can't hurt," baldly comments and I smile encouragingly at him.

I can already feel a slight tingling in my arms where my first drink is taking affect—proof of how strong they are.

_Well, what they don't know can't hurt them_; I think to myself as I lift my drink to them in a toast. I don't take a sip of mine until they start on theirs. They look up at me and I can see their desperate desire to be accepted by me. A thrill of excitement shoots through me and my skin flashes beautifully in response to it. I can feel eyes on the back of my head and I know that Cato is probably glaring murderously at me but that just pushes me farther into my charade.

"So, tell me about yourselves," I say and I try to pay attention as they both stutter their stories at me.

"T-twins we are," the big nosed one says.

"F-fraternal," the bald one collaborates and I grin and nod like a fool.

"That explains why you're both so handsome," I murmur and they blush and stammer like they've never been paid a complement before. _They probably haven't_, I think to myself and try to fight back a giggle. I take a big swallow of my drink and sigh.

"So boys, which tributes do you guys have your eyes on?" I ask as I sip some more from my drink in an attempt to hide my intense interest that I have in my question. The big nosed one stiffens beside me as the bald one starts to laugh. I frown—my question wasn't even funny at all. He takes a bug gulp of his drink and I surmise that he is starting to feel tipsy.

"I can t-tell you which one we d-don't have our eye on," gushes the slightly drunk bald one. I quirk my brow as I turn to him, leaning forward. My skin dazzles him as I smile enchantingly at him. I can feel Cato's angry eyes on me but I push him from my mind.

"Oh? Which one would that be?" I ask, thinking about the old man that was reaped from District 8. I hear protests from the big nosed guy but his brother pays him no heed.

"Your s-sister," the bald man stutters and starts to roar with laughter. It feels like I've had ice cold water poured down the back of my dress. I fall back into my seat and lift my drink to my lips, downing the rest of it quickly and motion for yet another one.

_Fucking Cato_, I think dirtily as I narrow my eyes at the empty street that is below us.

The big nosed brother huffs and puffs as if he can't believe how stupid his twin could be. He sets his drink down on the floor roughly, alcohol spilling from it and stomps from the box. His bald brother doesn't seem to notice that anything is amiss though as he takes two drinks from the Avox and hands one to me. I take it numbly and finish half of it before the Avox can even turn to leave. I quickly grab an extra one and glare petulantly at the massive crowd gathered right underneath us.

"D-did I say something wrong?" the bald one asks as he searches for his brother. I turn and study his flushed cheeks.

"What would it take for you to sponsor Prim?" I ask my tone serious and all traces of playfulness gone. The bald man studies me as he rubs his fat stomach.

"Something I doubt you would be w-willing to give to a m-man like me," he says and licks his lips. His eyes glow with lust and his pupils are dilated. When I don't say anything his face falls and he turns forward in his seat. His meaning isn't lost on me and my skin flickers frantically in disgust at his suggestion. I study his profile as I fight with myself.

_I could get a different sponsor for Prim if I agreed to do anything with this guy_, I think slowly to myself_. But how would that be any different than what Cato wants to do to you?_ I argue back internally. I sigh in frustration and quickly gulp down the rest of my drink, setting the empty glass on the floor.

I feel the seat underneath me shift as the empty seat next to me is claimed once again and at first I think it's the other twin returning but when a familiar scent fills my nose, dread settles in my body. _Cato. _

I feel his hot hand on my shoulder and he tugs me around to face him. Cato's eyes are dancing dangerously and my skin fluctuates in response to the danger I see there. Overhead, the lights in our box flickers on and off, signaling the impending start of the parade. He leans closer to me to whisper in my ear and my skin glows brightly as my body reacts to him.

"I'm guessing you didn't notice the seat I so obviously offered to you earlier," his voice growls and I shiver.

"I wanted a seat closer up front…. So I could see her better," I say with a sniff and he laughs darkly and pulls away from me. He swings the armrest that is between us up and it tucks in between our two seats. With a sexy smirk, he puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him.

"Yeah, I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that you wanted to try to flirt your way into getting a different sponsor than me," he murmurs against my hair and I stiffen. "I wouldn't be _so_ offended if you would have picked someone at least good looking, Katniss. But honestly, look at who you picked—a greasy, fat, pig of a man and his equally revolting twin," he mutters and makes a disapproving noise in his throat.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, unsure of what he wants me to say.

"I'm sure you are," he replies sarcastically.

The crowd roars below us as tributes in their carriages start to roll down the main street of the Capitol. I see the horses' hooves slapping against the cobbled street but I can't hear the musical sound of their heavy hoofs making contact with the unforgiving ground. I try to focus on the tribute costumes but I just can't—not with Cato's body pressed against mine. My body's glow climaxes with each heavy beat of my heart. Cato's dangling hand rubs softly back and forth on the skin of my shoulder and the pulsing glow picks up speed. He chuckles softly and I grind my teeth together in aggravation.

"Cato, stop," I whine as my skin lights up the space around us.

"Why?" he asks, his voice is dark and sexy and he can see the reaction I have to it as my glow increases in brilliance—it's still a soft glow but it's brighter than it had been before.

My stomach churns as I remember the pain I went through during the miscarriage. How can my body react to him like this when he has done what he's done? Deep down I know the answer, a big part of it is because he's trained that response into me with his abuse of pheromones but a small part of it is because on an animalistic level, I am attracted to him.

"My skin…" I say simply, in response to his question and I can hear the affect the alcohol has had on me as my words come out slow and slurred together. He leans over to run his nose along my jawline and to my ear.

"I like being able to see what my presence does to you, Katniss," he hisses into my ear and I shiver in response, my skin lighting up.

I hear snickers behind me and my skin pulses in anger as I hear Johanna Mason's hushed voice. The urge to turn and attack rises within me and I have to fight hard to stay in control of myself. Cato laughs again, moving my hair with his breath.

"Calm down, Katniss just ignore her and pay attention to the parade," he says and my eyes fall on the street below us. I watch as District 4's chariot passes in front of us. "Look at them, Katniss," he whispers and I do as I'm told in a daze-like trance.

They are wearing what looks like animal skin and they have feathers in their hair. I frown, not understanding what that has to do with their district's main skill of fishing but then I see the net that they wear as one big cape. It binds them together and the boy has his arm thrown around the girl in a protective gesture. I wonder idly to myself if they will try to go for the star-crossed lovers act also.

Cato is still by my ear whispering. "Yes, Katniss, look at those two and all of the others. Do you want to guess which one of them is going to be the one to kill your sister?" His dark words wrap around me, and my intoxicated brains tries desperately to keep up as my eyes skim the backs of the tributes that have already passed us. My skin swirls in response to the alcohol and my confused mind. I feel Cato's hand tug on my drink as he lifts it to my lips. I take a big swallow and I feel my limbs grow heavy. I sigh and the smell of alcohol is thick in the air. I feel Cato's free hand on my leg and it travels up my leg. I gasp and try in desperation to surface from my fogged brain. "I can help her," he whispers, "if you would only let me… I could help her," he says as he draws random patterns against my illuminated skin.

Everything turns abstract, and all I can see is colors, lines, and lights. They all blur together and my head spins. I try shaking the dizziness away but it sets my brain to whirling so I stop. I feel a burning in my dry eyes as I try to make sense of my surroundings.

"What's happening?" I whisper, wide-eyed and confused. Cato laughs darkly and he abandons touching my leg momentarily as he tips my drink to my lips again, forcing me to drink three big gulps before he is satisfied. He lets me drop the drink back to my lap and his fingers return to tease the skin on my inner thigh in combination with his fingers that are rubbing softly over the skin of my shoulder.

"Ah, there she is," Cato states and I blink my eyes repeatedly as I search for her. My vision clears enough for me to make her out.

Where I was a vibrant flame—a red hot, burning one, she is a cool, innocent one. She is a pure blue and she is shining magnificently. As she passes the Sponsors' Box her flame grows and sparks shoot out from her. The crowd gasps and I hear a few come from the people behind me. I watch in fascination as she passes. She waves cheerfully to everyone and she even blows kisses up to the Sponsors' Box. The bald twin gasps and makes sounds of excitement next to me. Her chariot pulls up in front of the president's mansion and her flame diminishes as Coin's voice fills the night air.

The sound of it is too much for me. I jump to my feet, alcohol spilling from my glass and onto Cato. He jumps up in surprise as his hands swat at the alcohol staining his pants.

"What the hell?!" he shouts as I shove my way past him, knocking over the twin's abandoned drink onto his shoes as I go.

"Damn it, Katniss!" Cato yells as he shuffles from foot to foot.

"Sorry," I stammer inebriated. I hear Johanna's roaring laughter and my skin is thrumming in explosions of light. My eyes seek out Haymitch in the back corner. He starts to get up, a concerned look on his face. "I'll just see you back at the room, Haymitch," I yell and turn, racing from the box and through dark halls as I race towards the lobby. I trip and almost fall a couple of times but I manage to keep myself upright.

My footsteps echo on the lobby floor as I stride to the elevators. I frown at the sound that surrounds me—I hear my high heels clicking but I also hear another pair of footsteps—a low thudding one. Reaching the elevators, I frantically beat at the button on the wall to call the elevator and sigh in relief as the doors slide open immediately. I step in and turn to push the 12 button when I'm shoved back against the elevator's glass wall.

The cold glass wall digs painfully into my shoulder blades and I open my mouth to let out a surprised shriek but Cato's hand covers it. My nostrils flare as I try to catch my breath. My frantic eyes meet his and he smiles at me. Everything starts to tip to one side and my eyes flutter as I try to keep some sort of grip on reality. My head spins sickeningly and my stomach reacts to all the alcohol in my system. My legs grow weak and Cato's harsh, unforgiving hands keep me upright by digging into my upper arms. I feel tears burning my eyes at the painful contact. I can see my skin's glowing reflection in his eyes—it's flickering in time with my pounding heart.

I hear the ding of the doors closing behind his back but we don't go anywhere.

"Katniss, you left before I could ask you something," he says and I simply stare at him.

"Why are you trying to flirt your way into getting Prim a different sponsor? Why won't you just let me do it for you? Do you really think anyone is going to take that little twit on?" My cheeks light up and I frown at my body's betrayal of my embarrassment and anger—Prim is not a little twit! He smiles wickedly and shakes his head slowly.

"Oh, no, Katniss. That won't work at all. You see, there is an unwritten rule between the sponsors. Actually, I'm _sure_ you've heard of it before, haven't you? They're not going to help you even if you offer to spread your legs for them," he murmurs and he tightens his grip on my arms.

"You're hurting me," I whisper quietly, my words slurring. His grip relaxes and I sag in relief as the pain fades away.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Katniss," he says softly and I look up in surprise. His eyes are uncharacteristically soft. His face blurs slightly and I struggle to keep him in focus. He laughs, blowing his wonderful scent into my face.

"Oh, Katniss, I think you are dreadfully drunk," he murmurs, his voice is silk—so smooth and tempting. It speaks to the darkest part of me—promising me something dark and wrong. My skin glows traitorously.

His fingers trace across my lips and I lick them in response. They trail over my cheek and towards my ear. He slides his fingers through the hair behind my ear and he pulls me towards him.

I see his face coming towards me and I feel his fingers tangling into my wild hair. I close my eyes and lean forward to meet him. Excitement rushes through me and I feel heat in my veins. I see the brilliance of my glowing skin through my eyelids and I know Cato does too by the grin that is tugging at his mouth as we kiss.

He presses his body against me and I can feel his hard erection grinding painfully into my pelvis. His hand runs up my thigh, tickling my sensitive skin in its ascent. The alcohol drives all thought from me and I respond to his touch by moaning into his mouth. I can feel his tongue sliding against my lips, begging for entrance. I open my lips and he lets out a feral growl as he invades my mouth.

His hand races up my thigh towards the heat between my legs. Just as his fingers reach my underwear, I hear a ding and then the sliding of the elevator door as they open. Cato and I jump apart from each other, breathing heavily. My skin is pulsing like crazy in excitement and embarrassment. I lick my lips and I moan internally at how swollen they are.

"Oh," says a surprised voice and I look up to see Keeth Lingenberry hovering just outside of the elevator. His eyes take in my disheveled look and he narrows his eyes on Cato. "Didn't I hear Coin tell you to stay away from her?" he hisses and Cato laughs.

"We're working together! How am I supposed to do that?" he tried to lie smoothly but it's clear on Keeth's face that he isn't buying it.

"It didn't look like you were working!" Keeth yells and Cato looks taken aback. "Anyway, you know what I meant, Cato. And believe it or not, you can actually work with her without laying a hand on her," Keeth growls.

"Katniss and I have something together that you can't understand, Lingenberry. I would stay out of it if I were you," Cato says darkly, flexing his muscles and stepping forward. The elevator doors try to shut but Keeth shoves his hand between the doors and they slide back open.

"Really, Cato? Are you really going to threaten me? I think you should leave right now before I go tell Coin what I saw here," Keeth says and Cato's face screws up in anger. He punches the wall and a scared squeak breaks from my lips as Cato slams out of the elevator, leaving Keeth and I alone.

Keeth steps into the elevator and presses the close door button. He turns to examine me.

"Thank you, Keeth," I murmur with a slight hiccup.

"Don't even try to play the victim, Katniss. I saw you kissing him back," he says coldly and my skin glows.

"I'm drunk," I say sloppily in a way of explaining and Keeth shakes his head in disappointment.

"You're a mess, Katniss," he says, his voice softening, as he steps closer to me.

I sigh in defeat and lean against the wall of the elevator. I slide slowly to the floor and Keeth joins me.

"I'm just doing the inevitable," I slur at him.

"How's that?" He asks and I can hear the friendliness in his voice.

"Well, no one is going to sponsor me and Cato won't send Prim anything unless I give him something in return," I explain and Keeth shakes his head.

"It won't work like that. Coin has already forbid it."

"Do you think Cato is going to listen to Coin? That man has his own set of rules that he follows," I reply and Keeth opens his mouth to argue. "Oh, come on Keeth! You know what happened when I was living with him—you have to. The rape, the beatings…" I falter off here as the memories come back. Oddly, I don't feel anything as the memories flash—it's like I'm watching a squirrel eating a nut and not my fucked up past.

"It won't be like that, Katniss," he whispers.

"You're a complete and utter fool if you think that," I say; my voice coming out in a drunken yell. "He'll make me do a favor for him in return for every little thing I want to send Prim."

Keeth sighs and puts his head in his hands. "Fine, Katniss, I'll sponsor you," he mutters.

My head snaps up in shock as I look at him. "Really?" I ask.

"Yes… although, if word reaches my family about this, my dad will blow a gasket," he laughs and I scramble towards him, throwing my arms around his neck.

"What about the _unwritten rule_?" I ask, bitterness in my voice.

"Screw it—it's unwritten for a reason… Coin would never pass such a silly rule as an official rule so who's to say that I need to follow it?"

"Oh, thank you Keeth!" I gush, blowing the smell of alcohol in his face.

I pull back and plunge my head towards his. He doesn't have time to react. Our teeth knock together clumsily as I attack him with my lips. He flinches away from me and his hands push my shoulders back so that I can't reach him.

"Okay, Katniss, you're _really _drunk. Let's get you to bed," he says and laughs.

"I'm just so happy," I gush as he stands to press the '12' button.

As the elevator rises, I feel my stomach roll at the unnatural movement of it. When we reach the climax of our ascent, the elevator bobs slightly in the air and it's my undoing. The doors ding open to reveal the main area of the district 12 floor and Keeth turns to face me just in time to see it happen. Vomit pours from my mouth smelling of alcohol and stomach acid. Keeth jumps back in disgusted shock.

"Agh!" he yells as he dodges vomit. I moan miserably and he helps me to my feet. I hear the ticks of Effie's shoes and she rushes towards us.

"Oh dear, dear, dear!" she cries as she clicks furiously towards us. Keeth groans as I lean heavily on him. "What can I do to help?" Effie trills in her Capitol voice.

"Get a shower going," he mutters between his teeth as he hauls me out of the elevator. I groan as bile burns in my throat. "If you barf on me, Katniss, I swear to God, I'll drop you right here and leave you," he teases. I bite my tongue, fighting the rising urge to vomit.

Keeth lugs me after Effie as she sets off down the hall towards my room. He drops me on the ottoman in my bathroom as Effie crosses to the shower. I hear the telltale squeak of water faucets and the pouring sound as water beats against the floor of the shower. I feel tugging on feet and two dull thumps then I hear the crisp noise of my zipper and I shiver at the cold air that attacks my warm skin. I lift my arms as Keeth tugs my dress over my head.

"You're going to have to take a shower in your bra and underwear because there is no way I'm taking those off," he says and dumps me into the freezing spray of the shower. I gasp and sputter on my knees but the water seems to help the rolling in my stomach just a bit but it still doesn't take my nausea away.

I try to fight it but it's no use; in no time, I'm up and vomiting into the drain. I moan and watch in amazement as glowing water mixes with my bile. I hold my hand up and am relieved to see normal looking skin. The water pounds down on me relentlessly as I choke up mouth-full after mouth-full of vomit. Keeth and Effie sit in the bathroom, silent as they wait for it to pass.

I don't know how much time passes but I've got a strong headache raging in my skull when Haymitch comes roaring into the bathroom, breathing heavily. He lets out a piercing whistle and I clutch my head in my hands and fall to the shower floor.

"I had to use the stairs to get here, Effie. Do you wanna know why?" he yells loudly and doesn't wait for her to respond. "Because _someone_ threw up in the elevator and it _stunk_. I wonder who that could have been," he says sarcastically.

"Oh, Haymitch, do you have to be so loud? Look how she is suffering," Effie murmurs and Haymitch laughs.

"Just getting payback for all the times she told me to cut back on my drinking," he says as he heads towards the shower. "When's the last time she barfed?"

"About fifteen minutes ago," Keeth responds.

"Ah, she'll be fine. You can leave now, Keeth," Haymitch dismisses him.

I hear Effie's shoes clicking from the room and her talking but I can't make out the words as she escorts Keeth to the elevators.

"Listen here, sweetheart, we need to discuss strategy for training tomorrow so I need you to pull yourself together."

When I don't respond he bangs his fist on the glass on the shower door and I groan as the sound echoes horribly in my head, making me sick. I start to gag but I have nothing to throw up.

"Okay, you talk and I'll listen," I grit out.

"I'm thinking that since she doesn't have any real skills except her healing that we should decide which offensive skill she should try to learn," he says.

"That's a nice idea and all but even if she does learn the skills, she'll never be able to use it in the arena. I tried to teach her to hunt with me once and every time I shot something, she'd start to cry and beg me to take it back to the house so she could try to save it," I say quietly, trying to fight my headache. Haymitch curses.

"We're never going to get a sponsor—I'll be shocked if even Cato ends up sponsoring her," he says.

"Well, I've got good news. Keeth just agreed to sponsor Prim in the elevator," I tell him and he laughs humorlessly.

"Oh, I bet Cato is going to _love_ that," he says.

"Doesn't matter what Cato thinks. He can't do anything to stop it," I reply.

"Yeah, he can't do anything that is _legal_," Haymitch says dryly.

"He won't do anything illegal or Coin will be furious with him."

"I hope you're right," he says, obviously unconvinced.

I groan and reach up to turn the water off. I clamber to my feet and shove against the glass door. It opens with a clunk and the glass wobbles against the hinges. I step onto the towel mat and wrap a towel around me.

"Where is Prim?" I ask as I clench my throbbing head between my hands.

"Already asleep in bed. I made sure of that before I came to check on you," he says.

"Thanks, Haymitch. I'm glad you were there for her."

"It's weird having our roles reversed, isn't it?" he asks and I laugh in agreement.

"Just don't get used to it, sweetheart," he says.

"No problem," I moan and I sit on the ottoman in the middle of the bathroom.

"So what is on our schedule tomorrow?"

"Well, usually the mentors hang out in the sponsors' meeting room and wait around. There are TVs in there so we can watch the training going on and the sponsors will come in there every once in a while throughout the day."

"Great," I say sardonically, "How much do you want to bet that Cato hangs out in there all day tomorrow?" I ask sarcastically and Haymitch laughs.

"I'd say the chances are fairly high," he says before getting back to business. "So I'll tell Prim to focus on survival skills like camouflage, fire building, and tracking. Also, I think we better try to build her endurance up as much as we can."

"I'd say that's a good idea. I'll talk to her tomorrow at breakfast and try to see which weapon skill she'd be comfortable learning—I'm sure between the two of us, we could provide her with extra tutorials after training each night."

"Sounds good now go get some sleep, sweetheart, tomorrow is going to be a long and early one," he calls over his shoulder as he leaves the bathroom.

_This is going to __tons__ of fun_, I think cynically.


	7. Let the Training Begin

Chapter 7— Let the Training Begin…

My head pounds unforgivingly against my skull and I hold my breath, blocking the aroma of food from registering in my sensory glands. I glare reproachfully at the plate of food in front of me that Haymitch has cooked for me. My stomach gurgles unhappily and I push my plate away in distaste. My muscles ache in protest and I wonder to myself if I got ran over by a train last night and forgot about it. Prim turns her head to look at me, her face flushed from her morning exercises. Her hair is a tangled mess and her eyes are shining brightly as she looks at me in question.

"What's wrong with you Katniss?" Prim asks and my head throbs in reaction to the soft sound of her voice.

"Nothing, Prim. How was your morning workout?" I ask. My voice breaks and I swallow thickly. Whytt had woken me up at five this morning and drug me to the roof to help out with Prim's training but it was soon very apparent that I couldn't stay—every time I started to move around, I was keeled over as I gagged up stomach acid. Haymitch had ordered me back into bed with a dark glare.

"It was okay. Haymitch made Whytt run with me when you left—said running with another person would motivate me to do better," she says and guilt fills my body, slumping my shoulders forward. Prim and I don't even have a week left together before the games and I was missing out on precious time all because I had too much to drink last night. I shake my head dejectedly and Haymitch walks past me and pats me reassuringly on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Prim, I just felt too sick to run with you. I promise that I'll be fine by lunchtime today. Tonight I'll work with you," I say and Prim smiles.

"Good because I don't have much time left," she jokes and silence falls in the kitchen. Haymitch stops, his hands frozen in air as he reaches for the cupboard in front of him. He looks at me and I can tell that he is worried about how I'm going to respond to what was just said.

"Don't say that, Prim," I whisper. My voice shakes unsteadily and she nods, her cheeks growing red in embarrassment.

"Sorry," she whispers as she plays idly with the leftover food on her plate

"It's okay Prim. I just don't want to hear you talking like that," I say and she takes a small bite of her eggs. I take a deep breath and try to move the conversation away from her time being up. "Prim, we need to talk about weapons. You're going to have to learn to use something. You need to be able to defend yourself in the arena…" I trail off here and she doesn't say anything so I prompt her: "What would you be comfortable with learning?"

She bites her lip as she thinks. "Not archery—after seeing what you've done in the last Games, I just can't do that," she murmurs and my heart constricts in pain. Realization strikes home in me: she disapproves of what I've done. Cato's familiar words ring in my ears:

_You're a monster. No one understands you. No one could love you after what you've done._

He was right. I understand that now. Even though Prim loves me and I love her, she can't possibly understand the complexities of my soul nor can she understand the darkness that now lives deep within. She can't appreciate my actions for what they were: desperate attempts to keep my promise to her. I'm pulled back from my spinning thought by Prim's voice.

"…and definitely not a sword. I'm thinking maybe knives or a slingshot," she says and I hope I didn't miss anything important while I was lost in my somber thoughts.

I frown. "Knives could work but a slingshot, Prim? Unless you hit a person in just the right spot, they're not going to die," I let out a pathetic laugh.

She looks at me, her eyes wide and watering. "I don't _want_ anyone to die. I don't _want_ to kill anyone, _Katniss_. I just want to go home," she whispers and her chin trembles as tears spill down her cheeks. I grow cold as I realize just how different we are these days. I wouldn't think twice about killing someone if it came down to me living or them. I watch as a tear drips from her cheek and onto the table and the sight of it pours warmth into me again—this is Prim, I love her and I can accept her for the sensitive soul that she is.

I pull her to me. "Prim, you can't think like that. It's your survival or theirs. Can you try to win for me?" I ask her softly and she nods unconvincingly.

"Good girl, now go hop in the shower—training will be starting soon. Remember to focus on the survival skills and tonight I'll help you with knives and the slingshot."

"Okay," she says with false-brightness and gives me a quick peck on the cheek and bounds from the table. I sit there silently, fighting the urge to vomit as Haymitch moves noisily around the kitchen. He doesn't try to start a conversation and I'm grateful for it.

I hear the clicking of Effie's shoes growing louder behind me and I groan. "Effie, take your damn shoes off please," I grit out between my clenched teeth.

"Oh, sweetie, are you hung over?" she asks cheerfully, ignoring my demand. Her staccato clicks grate against my ears and I bite my lip in frustration.

_No shit,_ I think to myself but I don't dignify her with a response.

"Here," she says as she sits beside me at the table I look at her and flinch as she sprays something in my face. I suck in a surprised breath along with whatever she has sprayed me with and instantly my headache goes away. My body still feels like I've been run over and my stomach is still rolling but not as badly.

I sigh in relief. "Oh, thank you Effie," I murmur.

"No problem. Now off you go. Your stylist will be here soon and you still need to hop in the shower."

"You mean I have to get made up for today?" I groan and she bobs her head enthusiastically.

"Of course you do. You never know when a camera will be around, Katniss," she replies as if this should be common knowledge. I must have missed the memo.

I roll my eyes at her and push back from the table. I turn and see Whytt coming from his room, freshly washed in only a pair of shorts. A huge grin stretches his face and I frown dirtily at him.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Because unlike you, I'm not hung over," he says and smiles tauntingly at me.

"Yeah, well, that won't be happening again anytime soon," I mutter and he musses up my hair.

"Have you talked to Effie yet?" he asks as he sits down and grabs a piece of bacon from my untouched plate. I give him a weird look. Does he not see her sitting right across from him? He lifts his eyebrows and narrows his eyes at me, obviously trying to send me a message. I slowly come to recall that Whytt can't stand Effie and this is just one of his ways of trying to limit his exposure to her.

_Well, tough luck_, I think.

"Agh, no, can you do it for me? I have to go get ready—training is starting soon and I don't want to miss out on anything," I shout over my shoulder as I rush to my room. As soon as my door closes, I am stripping out of my clothes in a mad dash to get in and out of the shower.

_Maybe if I'm fast enough, I can get out of here before my stylist gets here;_ I think to myself and smile.

When I exit my bathroom, steam pours into my room and settles at the feet of my rainbow haired stylist who is digging furiously through my closet. I groan softly at the pile of clothes he has made on my bed.

"Oh!" I exclaim in surprise as he throws a forest green dress at me.

"Put that on," he orders in an odd sounding Capitol accent. "And don't worry about a bra—you can't wear one with that dress."

I frown but do as I'm told. His odd request makes sense as soon as the dress has settled into place. The bottom of the dress is actually nice. It's ruffled and hangs lower just above my knees. It's the top that I have a problem with. There is a deep v that runs down past my breasts and leaves nothing to the imagination. My cleavage is star of this ensemble and I don't appreciate it.

"I'm _not_ wearing this," I say calmly, breaking rule number one when it comes to stylists—never question their judgment.

He turns to look at me and his eyes are flat. "You'll wear that or I'll throw all your clothes out the window and you can go naked. Effie hired me for a reason and it wasn't so I could be bossed around by you," he states and walks into the bathroom, obviously expecting me to follow him.

I bite my tongue in exasperation but I follow him. He sets to work on me right away. I decide that since he is going to be styling me from now, I might as well try to make nice with him. The few questions that I do ask get very curt responses. His name is Grandis Dinwiddie and he prefers to work alone because he doesn't like a prep crew screwing up his work. After I get that little information from him, he orders me to stop asking questions because he doesn't like to be distracted while he's hard at work.

He flits about me, muttering complaints about how I don't take care of my skin or hair and when he sets to work on the circles under my eyes, he glares hatefully at me the entire time. He curls my hair into loose waves and drowns me in hairspray. He lines my lids with eyeliner and glues fake eye lashes to my eyes and starts to try to add eye shadow but I get up.

"That's enough! I'm already late for training," I say and run from the room before he can threaten me like he did when I questioned his choice of dress. As I make my escape into the hall, I run straight into Haymitch. His eyes shoot to my cleavage and he starts to laugh. His body shakes as he grabs his stomach in laughter. I wait patiently, my eyes glued to the ceiling, as I wait for him to stop.

"Lost the fight with your stylist today, Katniss?" he asks and I grab him by the hand and drag him into the elevator.

"Don't even get me started—he said I had to wear this or I'd be walking around naked."

"Don't tell me you questioned him! I taught you better than that!" he admonishes and I don't respond. "Well, I can't wait to see your outfit tomorrow. It should be… interesting," Haymitch laughs and I just roll my eyes. I've got bigger things to worry about than my outfit.

Haymitch leads the way to the sponsor room and I'm relieved to see Whytt already lounging on one of the expensive couches when we arrive. I'm less relieved to see Johanna and Finnick sitting at the bar, laughing with each other. My eyes skip over them and I see the other mentors here but I don't spot any of the sponsors.

My eyes are drawn to a huge screen that hangs high above the glass bar on the wall. I see the list of the tributes and a running score that is going on. I'm not surprised to see Prim's name hovering near the bottom.

"Don't pay attention to that, Katniss. It doesn't even matter until after the last day of training. Plus Keeth has already agreed to sponsor us," Haymitch whispers to me.

I nod and my eyes sweep the room. It has a cold, elegant feeling to it with its greyish walls and matching concrete floor. Glass chandeliers hang from the ceiling and the couches are all pale, cool colors. Most of the couches are arranged around a big screen hanging on the far wall which presently shows the tributes huddled together in the training gymnasium. Right now they are listening to a fat lady explain all the different stations that they can go to.

I spot Prim standing off to the side by herself. She has her arms crossed and her shoulders are slumped. She looks insecure and I quickly spot the reason why. A huge man—Nash from District 6, I think— is staring at her with a calculating look in his eyes. Protectiveness flows through me and I take a steadying breath, knowing that there isn't anything I can do about it.

I draw my eyes away from the screen to take in the rest of the room. In one corner, I see a white board hanging with the names of all the sponsors on it. I go to investigate and Haymitch follows me. I spot Cato's name at the top and I frown as I read Prim's name under his. I turn to Haymitch, questions in my eyes.

"This is where the sponsors list who they are sponsoring. Although, they are supposed to get the tribute's mentor's approval first," Haymitch explains with a slight frown.

"But we haven't agreed with Cato on anything," I argue.

"He's just being cocky," Haymitch reasons and I reach forward to erase her name from the board.

"I wouldn't—" Haymitch starts but he's cut off by Cato's booming voice.

"Ah, Katniss, mentors aren't allowed to touch the board, sweetie," he says and I drop my hand and step away. Johanna laughs behind me and I clench my fists as the sound of it grates against my ears.

"I just didn't want any of the sponsors getting the wrong idea—we haven't approved you as her sponsor yet," I reply coolly as I look at him. He's wearing dark jeans that look like they were made just for him and a tight t-shirt that shows off his muscles. I frown dirtily and he smiles back innocently. He plops down on a bar stool next to Johanna and my heart pumps in unwanted jealousy at how close they are to each other. His dark eyes stare at me and roam over my cleavage hungrily. I cross my arms over my chest and he laughs.

"Only a matter of time, Kat," he murmurs and I'm not sure if he's talking about being Prim's sponsor or something completely different. My skin warms up in a blush and I'm glad I'm not wearing that stupid lotion today. "How are you feeling today, Kat? When I saw you last you were very wasted and very…. uncaring," he murmurs and his eyes flash seductively and I know he's thinking of the intense kiss we shared in the elevator.

Blood floods my face and I want so badly to smack him. "I feel fine Cato," I say stiffly and he smiles at me.

"Well, when you're ready to accept my sponsor offer just let me know and we can work out all the _small_ _details_," he says and his voice promises something sexual. I flush as Johanna eyes me like I'm a slut.

I feel Haymitch's hand on my arm and I allow him to drag over to sit next to Whytt on the couch. "I think I'll just hang with you today," I murmur to him and cringe as Cato's voice fills the air again.

"My, my, do my eyes deceive me? Is that really you Whytt?" he exclaims loudly as he comes to stand before us. "What the hell do you think you're doing in here?" he asks darkly and quietly but Whytt doesn't bat an eyelash.

"Coin wasn't convinced that you would keep your promise of leaving Katniss alone so I have access to go wherever she goes," he says and Cato's face flushes in anger.

"Well, we'll see if that stops me," he threatens quietly and I gasp at his bluntness. He eyes my chest quickly and then struts back to the bar and orders a drink.

I turn my gaze to the television and see that tributes have started their training. I watch as Prim stands uneasily off to the side, biting her lip, trying to decide which station she wants to start at. I want to groan at her tepidness but I keep it inside.

"Haymitch, she's not going to learn anything just standing there," I growl quietly and Haymitch pats my arm.

"Give her some time, sweetheart," he murmurs.

After a few moments of staring, she slowly makes her way to the shelter station but she still hangs back from the main crowd. I tighten my fists in frustration, knowing that at best, she'll only be able to get little peeks of what the instructor is demonstrating.

A flash of metal catches my eyes and I let my eyes skim over to the practice dummies. The District 5 tribute slashes at the dummies with a thick-bladed sword—I'm stunned by how agile he is with it considering how much it must weigh. His muscles flex with every swing of the sword and I can just imagine how much force he packs behind every swing.

"Who is that?" I ask quietly and Haymitch follows my eyes.

"Torque from District 5. Eighteen years old. I'm betting that he'll be a career," Haymitch murmurs.

I nod my head and let my eyes wander towards the obstacle course that is set up as two figures go flying through the air, tumbling and twisting as they go. They land, rolling head over heels and jump up, and immediately start to fight each other, their fists flying so fast that they blur. I watch in amazement as they circle and throw punches and kick at each other. I'm stunned as time after time, they are able to block each other's hits.

"Are they really fighting?" I gasp and Haymitch laughs.

"Well, yes they're fighting but they're practicing their skill. It's some ancient form of fighting called 'karate' I think. People did it long before Panem was created," Haymitch explains.

"Who _are_ they? I can't even see their faces—they're moving too quickly."

"Twins from District 1—careers, of course. They are sixteen and weren't supposed to volunteer this year but when their younger sister got reaped, Lametta volunteered and Tinsel did the same to stay with his sister," Haymitch explains.

"How do you know so much about all the tributes?" I ask in awe.

"It's my job to know—yours too but you're a first timer so I'll cut you some slack," he teases. "Also, their names are on the back of their shirts."

The fight ends when Lametta crouches to her knee, her other leg shooting out to knock Tinsel to the ground. She smiles victoriously down at him and he returns the smile back as she reaches down to help him up.

My eyes return back to Prim and I watch as she struggles to make a basic shelter out of branches. My heart drops and I hope none of the other sponsors are around to witness this. I see Nash hovering in a nearby station, his dark eyes are turned towards her and he is staring intently at her.

_What the hell is wrong with him?_

I let my eyes wander around the sponsors' room and see that Cato is still the only sponsor here.

"Where are the rest of the sponsors?" I ask uneasily.

"Probably in the gymnasium, getting a closer look at the tributes," Haymitch explains.

The day goes by painfully slow and Haymitch passes the time by drinking. I sit on the couch and watch as Prim struggles time and time again to make adequate shelter. It gets harder and harder to watch with each attempt especially when Johanna starts making loud smartass comments about Prim so that I can hear her. Her irritating laughter has me digging my nails into my skin as I fight the urge to go hunt down a bow and arrow. I'm relieved when she leaves the room for a bathroom break. A buzzard sounds overhead and I frown as, on the TV, the tributes slowly file out of the training gymnasium.

"Lunch break," Haymitch comments to me. I want to get up and stretch but I can feel Cato's eyes on me and the last thing I want now is Cato ogling at my breasts. Just then, the door to the sponsors' room bursts open and a line of sponsors spill in.

I spot the balding fat guy from last night. He looks queasy and when he sees me, his eyes shoot straight to my boobs. Excitement lights his face as he stares but it is quickly replaced by a look of pain and he grabs his head, moaning loudly. I chuckle. Poor guy got a little too excited and in his hung-over state, he couldn't handle it. His brother follows him in and while he gawks at my chest too, he also gives me a glowering look of reproach as he passes.

Keeth enters and I stand up without even thinking. His eyes fall to my chest too and he's dumbfounded for a second. I shuffle uncomfortably under his gaze and as I remember that I tried to kiss him last night. He snaps out of his reverie and crosses to me. I smile awkwardly at him.

"Hi," I breathe.

"Hey," he says with a small smile.

"Look… About last night… I'm sorry for trying to kiss you. I was really drunk and just so happy that I didn't have to depend on Cato," I mutter quietly. He opens his mouth to respond but his response gets caught in his throat as something hard hits me in the shoulder and I stumble towards him. His hands shoot out to catch me and end up pressed against the exposed skin on my chest. We freeze for a second before we both jump away for a moment, blushing.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Johanna says innocently as she struts past us towards the bar with an evil sneer on her face.

I feel my body tense up and I turn to go after her but Cato's murderous glare stops me—he had seen Keeth's hands on my chest. I'm captured by Cato's gaze and I can't seem to tear my eyes from his as he looks at me with wild eyes full of possession.

I hear a low murmuring sound around me but it's not until Keeth grabs my shoulder that I realize that he has been trying to talk to me.

"What? I'm sorry Keeth," I exclaim as I turn to face him.

"Nothing, I said I just came to put Prim on the board and I asked if you wanted to join me for lunch," he repeats himself and he sounds nervous.

"That sounds great," I smile at him and he smiles back.

"Well, let's go grab a bite real quick," he says as he motions for me to precede him through the door. We wander down to a courtyard where there is a little cart that is serving food.

"What would you like?" he asks and I bite my lip, thinking.

"I don't know. You decide for me. You know which food is the best." He smiles at me and I let my eyes wander as he orders. The courtyard is wonderfully flourished and I smile as I spot a batch of primroses.

"You ready?" Keeth asks and at my nod, he leads me to a secluded part of the courtyard. I hear the trickle of running water and my eyes search the ground for the source. A tiny stream rushes over a small waterfall beside our table. I look around and notice that we're the only ones here beside the person running the food cart.

"Wow, it's kind of secluded," I murmur and discomfort settles in my shoulders.

"But it's beautiful, don't you think?" he asks and I smile in agreement.

He places a steaming bowl of creamy soup in front of me basket full of bread between us. I stare at the bread and my thoughts are drawn to Peeta.

"Is there a phone somewhere that I could use?" I ask, without thinking and Keeth frowns in confusion.

"Yeah. Do you need one right now?"

"Oh, no. Just later—there is someone I need to call," I say lamely and I'm relieved when Keeth doesn't ask any more questions. I pick up my spoon and dip it into the creamy liquid. When I bring it into my mouth, I have to fight from moaning at the exquisite taste. "Wow! This is good!" I exclaim and Keeth chuckles.

"That's why I picked it," he says.

Silence settles between us and I feel tension. I can see Keeth frowning and I feel anxiety starting to poison my veins.

"What's wrong, Keeth?"

"Prim is going to have to step things up, Katniss. I don't expect her to be the perfect tribute but I mean she's going to have to do better than she is right now," he says bluntly.

"I know, Keeth but just don't write her off yet. We're training every night and morning in addition to the training she gets during the day. I'll help her with anything she has difficulties on. You don't have to worry about her," I say in rush and Keeth holds up a hand to stop me.

"Katniss, I'm still going to sponsor her but as her sponsor, I'm just saying that she needs to improve in some areas. You don't need to worry," he says and I laugh in relief.

"I'm not going to lie. I thought you were trying to get out of our arrangement. I was freaking out," I laugh.

"Yeah, I could tell," he says and we fall into another silence but this time it's comfortable. I finish my meal quickly, eager to get back upstairs so I don't miss anything. I think Keeth senses my eagerness because he finishes his meal quickly too.

As we walk back to the room I feel Keeth's eyes on me and I turn to look at him. My stomach tightens at the look of adoration in his eyes.

"What?" I ask as I blush.

"Nothing, I just can't get over how amazing you are," he says softly and dread shoots through me.

_Oh God, no!_ I think frantically. I'm relieved when I realize that we're almost to the sponsors' room.

"After everything you've been through, you're so strong and you never abandon your sister no matter how tough it gets," he murmurs and puts his arm around my shoulder. I stiffen but I don't have time to pull away before he's dragging me into the room.

Immediately, my eyes lock with Cato's and his quickly sharpen, cutting my courage into shreds. Keeth drags me towards the white board and I subtly try to escape his embrace but I can't. I sigh in relief when he lets go of me to reach forward to write Prim's name under his. I watch as he erases her name from under Cato's with one swipe of his hand.

"What the hell are you doing?" growls a voice behind me and I gasp as I spin around. I'm surprised to find Cato right in front of me. I stumble back and look at his hardened face.

"Oh, Cato," Keeth says pleasantly and smiles. "Have I not shared the news with you? Katniss and Haymitch have agreed to let me sponsor Prim. I was simply fixing the mistake I saw on the board. That's all," Keeth says and slaps Cato on the shoulder in a friendly gesture.

My body stiffens in fear as Cato clenches his fists. My heart pounds in my chest and I half expect for him to throw a punch. His gaze drops to me and my legs shake pathetically. Keeth puts his arm around me and with a tug, draws me closer to him. My face flushes as my body goes into a panic. _What the hell is he doing?!_ My mind screams frantically. Cato's eyes darken in anger.

"Why would you sponsor her? Have you not been watching her today? She's incompetent!" Cato growls as he looks at the two of us. I try to struggle from Keeth's grasp but he tightens his grip on me. The last thing I want to do right now is piss Cato off.

"I'm sponsoring her so Katniss doesn't have to put up with your unwanted advances," Keeth replies honestly and I want to disappear. I can see every head in the room staring at us, their mouths hanging open. Johanna is fighting laughter. Cato glares at me and my face pales.

"Let's just say it and get it out in the open, Keeth. You're going after my sloppy seconds," Cato growls and Johanna hoots with laughter. "Shut the fuck up, Jo," he hisses and she falls silent instantly, a look of shock on her face.

"I am not," Keeth states and Cato laughs. I watch as Cato's face hardens even more and I know that we're heading straight for trouble. I grab Keeth's arm and tug it from my shoulders. I search for an escape and Cato moves his body, purposely cutting me off from the door—I have nowhere to go.

"Oh please, I've heard you talk about her to your buddies. Talking about what an easy piece of ass she is," Cato sneers and Keeth starts to shake in anger.

"He's lying, Katniss! I never said that!"

"Keeth, it's fine, I don't believe him," I murmur, trying to diffuse the situation. I keep my eyes on Cato's balled up hands, ready to duck if they come at me. Keeth doesn't relax beside me. "Keeth, it doesn't matter, really. Just drop it," I hiss.

"Yeah, Keeth, listen to your little slut. Just drop it," Cato taunts and I flinch as Keeth's anger grows. My heart pounds as I realize I'm stuck between two ticking time bombs.

"She's not a slut," Keeth says, his voice deadly. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath. I can feel it tightening and my lungs spasm as they try to draw in an adequate amount of air. Cato's eyes dart down to my boobs and he frowns at the sight of them heaving. His eyes flick back up to Keeth.

"You know what? How about I just tell you how she is in bed?" Cato asks and I gasp.

"Cato, just stop it," I whisper and he grins evilly at me.

"What you don't want him to know, Katniss?" He teases and I have no idea what he is talking about. "No, let's see here... Well, she gives it up pretty easily but I bet you already know that, don't you Keeth?" Cato smiles and I hear Keeth's knuckles pop as he clenches his fists. I step away from him, fear stealing through my body. "How about I give you some pointers? This one you might not know… She likes to have some pain mixed in with her pleasure. And a simple slap won't work, no, she likes it rougher than that," he says and I gasp at the lies Cato is telling as Keeth jumps into action.

His fist flies forward and connects with Cato's jaw. I see the evil glint in Cato's eyes as he smiles triumphantly. His fist flies and knocks Keeth's head back. His back hits the wall and he slides down it in a pile on the floor. I feel hands on my forearm, pulling me away from the fight.

"Where the hell were you?" I gasp as Whytt hauls me towards the couches.

"I was in the bathroom. I just came in to Keeth punching Cato," Whytt says and pulls me close to him as we watch the fight progress.

Cato jumps on Keeth's slumped body and starts to pummel him with his fists. I try to suck in a breath but I can't. I gasp as I struggle and Whytt beats at my back. My chest tightens and my heart starts to beat furiously. My legs start to tingle and I feel myself turning blue as I struggle to suck in a breath.

"Haymitch, she isn't breathing!" he yells.

Memories of Cato beating me run in my head and I don't see anyone around me. I'm back in District 2. I remember the pain and the blood. Blackness rushes at me and the next thing I know, people are hovering over me, shock on their faces.

I hear yelling all around me but I can't make out the words. I turn my head to see two peacekeepers pulling Cato from Keeth. I see blood on Keeth's face and my head whirls at the sight of it. My eyes roll around widely. My name is being called. I can make out Whytt and Haymitch's voice but I can also hear Cato's. He yells for me repeatedly and I open my mouth to call back but my chest is too tight.

I feel hands on my face and I slowly focus my eyes on Haymitch.

"Katniss, breathe," he orders and I try but it's no use.

"I can't," I croak pathetically.

"Yes, you can. You just need to relax, Katniss. Now breathe," he says as his hands stroke my face. I suck in a breath and Haymitch smiles. "Good. Now another," he says and I try to obey. There is shuffling sound and Cato's face floats into my vision.

I gasp in a panic and struggle to get away. He glares down at me and I swing my arms out wildly, trying to defend myself against any attack. My legs kick and Cato's hands grip my shoulders tightly. I feel dizzy and I my fingers claw at his arms. Blackness swirls and my lungs go into a panic at the lack of oxygen.

"You're scaring her!" Whytt shouts and then he tackles Cato to the ground beside me.

I feel something stick me in my arm and everything goes black.

* * *

"Katniss." The voice that calls to me is soft, and soothing and one that I do not recognize.

I hear my name but I fight against my rising awareness, preferring to stay in the darkness than to face whoever is calling me into the light.

"Katniss!" This time the voice is loud and insistent. It makes me frown.

"What?" I ask angrily.

"Open your eyes," the voice demands and I do as I'm told. I stare blankly, trying to figure what I am seeing. I see a metal pole with a bag full of clear liquid hanging from it. The bag has a tube coming from it and I follow the tube. It leads straight into my arm—an IV.

"What am I doing in a hospital?" I ask groggily as I sit up in the bed I'm lying in.

"You had a panic attack. You had to be sedated to calm you down. I'm giving you some liquid to fight any dehydration," the voice says and I turn my attention to the speaker. It's an old man who is hunched over on himself. He has thick glasses and his skin is terribly wrinkled.

"Do I have to stay here?" I ask as I tug on the IV in my arm.

"Well, no," he murmurs and with his words still hanging in the air, I yank the IV from my arm and hop down from the bed. I ignore his sounds of protest and I quickly head down the hall. I pause in my escape as I hear yelling coming from behind a nearby door.

"I don't know what you were thinking! This just proves that you aren't ready for this kind of responsibility!"

"Dad, calm down please. I have a massive headache," says Keeth's voice.

"I will not calm down! You've made a mess of things, son!" his dad roars and I debate on what I should do. On one hand, he is sponsoring my sister for me but then I remember him putting his arm around me in a definite display of interest. I don't want him getting the wrong idea about us and I'm sure me drunkenly kissing him last night didn't help at all. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what I'm about to do, and knock timidly on the door that the voices are coming from.

"Come in," comes the curt response and I push into the room.

"Hey, Keeth, I just came to check on you," I say and he smiles at me. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything…" I say uncertainly as I glance at his stern looking, greying father.

"No, you're not," Keeth gushes in a panic. "I'm glad you came to see me," he says and I can see in his eyes that he is telling the truth. I shuffle uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Oh, come on son. Are you kidding me?" His dad roars and I look up to see disgust plainly written on his face. "We're not doing charity work here!" his dad says as he glares at his son.

"What are you talking about?" I ask quietly.

"Nothing, Katniss," Keeth says, "I think the tributes are done training for today. Why don't you go hang out with your sister and I'll come visit you when I get out of here?" Keeth asks, panic rising in his voice and eyes. I frown but turn to go. It's obvious that I'm not welcomed here.

"We won't be sponsoring you sister," his dad says bluntly and I turn slowly to face them both. Keeth looks like he is in pain and his face is flushed. His dad looks pissed and is staring at me hatefully.

"You can't take back your sponsorship!" I gasp and step forward.

"Actually, we can—especially when it was never ours to claim. What my son failed to realize is that when the head sponsor claims a tribute—that means that they get that tribute. No questions asked," his dad explains with an air of finality and I close my eyes in shock.

"You don't know what Cato is going to ask of me," I protest.

"No, I don't and I don't care. Whatever you two work out is between the two of you and no one else. Now you may leave," he says and turns his back to me, dismissing me not only with his words but with his body too. I look at Keeth but he won't meet my gaze.

I slip from the room, slamming the door behind me and run, not knowing where I am going. I feel like I am running in circles but eventually, I pass the courtyard that Keeth and I ate at earlier in the day. I slow down to slip outside and into the night air. I can hear crickets starting their evening concert and I make myself promise that I won't linger here too long because I know that Prim will be getting back to the apartment soon.

I wander back to the table I ate lunch at, in search of the calming sound of the small, trickling stream. I find it and lose myself in the moment as the soothing sound gradually takes the stress from my tensed muscles. I spot a patch of primroses and stoop to gather a handful so I can give them to Prim when I see her tonight. While I pick, I let my mind wander:

I have to start my search for a sponsor all over again and after what happened today, I have a feeling that it'll be even harder than it was before. I run through the sponsors that I know in my head. I might still have a shot at the bald fat guy… I just have to get him away from his big nosed brother. I slide into an empty chair and let the flowers fall to the table top and place my elbows on the table.

Sighing, I turn to observe the empty courtyard and my eyes are drawn upward as the sun sets beautifully in the sky. The upper part of the sky is a dark purplish blue that gradually fades into pink which grows in intensity until it is a vibrant orange. The colors remind me of Peeta's paintings and I wish that I could be with him right now instead of in this hellhole. The sky above me grows darker and I know that I've run out of time—I need to tell Haymitch about what has happened. I gather up my primroses and head to the elevator.

I spot Cato lounging by the elevators and I roll my eyes. His eyes light up in anticipation when he sees me. I try to ignore him as I draw closer to the elevators and him. I press the button to call the elevator and wait silently, my back turned towards him.

"What? You're not talking to me?" He asks smoothly and I don't respond. "Did I do something to upset you?" He sneers and I glare at him.

"I'm on my way to tell Prim that I lost her sponsor," I say darkly and Cato laughs.

"Oh, well that's just too bad, Katniss. But you do know that my offer still stands," he says tauntingly and the elevator dings as the doors open.

"With strings attached? I don't think so, Cato," I say and press the 12 button.

"Funny. You didn't seem to mind those strings last night… did you Katniss?" He asks menacingly and the doors slide shut on his proud face. I glower at the elevator doors as my mind sluggishly pulls up my drunken memories.

_Stupid alcohol,_ I think sullenly. The elevator bumps slightly as I start my fast ascent to District 12's floor. I glance down at the glass floor and see Cato gazing up at me. I know the elevator is only made of one-way glass and he can't see me but his stare makes the hair on the back of my neck stand erect. I'm relieved when as I go higher, he grows smaller and smaller until I can't tell if he's looking up at me or down at the floor.

The elevator dings open and Prim rushes at me, her braids streaming out behind her excited body. She stops short when she sees what I have clutched in my hands, her eyes filling with tears as the flowers remind her of our father.

"Oh, Katniss, they are wonderful!" she gushes as she hugs me, crushing the flowers between us.

"How was training today?" I ask, wanting to see what she tells me.

"The first part was horrible! I was so nervous because this tribute named Nash was staring at me and I couldn't focus—he's huge Katniss and he scares me," she prattles at me and I smile. "But then at lunch I met the girl from Nash's district. Her name is Avanti and she's only eight—isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard, Katniss? An eight year old in the Hunger Games," she mumbles sadly.

"That is sad, Prim," I say and ruffle her hair.

"But I haven't even told you the best part—I want to ally up with her, Katniss," Prim says with big, pleading eyes and I frown.

"An eight year old, Prim? How she is going to protect you?" I ask and Prim drops her head in defeat.

"I was going to protect her, Katniss," she mumbles and lifts her chin. Squaring her shoulders, she looks straight at me. "We make a great team, Katniss, after lunch she helped me figure out how to make a perfect shelter. I want her on my team," she declares and I smile.

"Then you can have her, Prim," I say and Prim smiles brilliantly. "Now go wash up for dinner. Afterwards, we'll start our weapons training."

She gives me a sloppy peck on my check and skips off to her room.

"How can she be so happy even when she goes through shit like this?" I jump at Haymitch's voice.

"Oh! I didn't see you there," I exclaim and laugh. "I don't know, Haymitch, she's a special little girl. One of a kind," I murmur as I peel the skin from my lips with my teeth.

"Is something bothering you, Katniss?" Haymitch asks gently and I turn to face him.

"We lost Keeth as a sponsor. His dad interfered and he dropped us," I say. Haymitch curses and slaps his hand against the wall in anger.

"Well, Katniss, we really could use the extra money that Cato could provide. Have you considered accepting his offer? Prim could really use it in there," he murmurs and I sigh.

"I just don't know what he's going to ask in return," I say softly.

"Does it matter what he asks? Honestly, does any of that matter when it comes to Prim?" I look at Haymitch in surprise. He's right, of course. I've said it a hundred times before: For Prim, I would do anything.

* * *

**_Everyone needs to stop right now and thank sundragons9 for talking me out of deleting this story. I got so confused and sleep deprived and she saved my butt big time. This chapter and story would be a HoT MeSs without her. GO THANK HER NOW!_**


	8. Cato's Dark Mindrepost

_Okay, so I was trying to write the next chapter and I realized that 1.) Cato wasn't exactly done telling his side of the story and 2.) I couldn't find a way to write what happened next without being in Cato's POV. Soooo I just added more to the end of this chapter. Sorry about the confusion but I feel MUCH better about this chapter now that I have added more to it... It answers a lot of y'alls (sorry I'm from Texas and can't figure out any other word that could go there!) questions! Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 8— Cato's Dark Mind

**Cato's POV**

_What the hell is taking him so long_? I think darkly to myself as I watch my brother stumble across the training gymnasium. I swear the only good thing about my brother being reaped for the Quarter Quell was that it gave me another opportunity to insert myself into Katniss' life.

I glare at my lanky younger brother on the screen, willing him with my thoughts to get up the nerve to ask the little blond haired twit to join his alliance. Brutus and I already knew that Beaufort didn't have a chance of living and as much as it sucked, I was okay with it.

I had never been close to my brother or anyone in my family. As soon as I was of age, my parents had shipped me off to the academy and I preferred to simply stay there and not ever go home to visit—they weren't like me and I wasn't like them. They were more concerned with what society thought about them and I was only concerned about learning new ways to kill people.

I watch as my brother struggles to lift a twenty-five pound weight and disgust rolls through me in huge waves. When I was ten, I could lift fifty pounds and here he is at seventeen and he can barely lift twenty. He's so weak and weakness is something I can't tolerate. Beaufort drops the weight on the ground and his eyes dart around in embarrassment to see if anyone saw what he had done. Satisfied that he has gone unseen, he trips and stumbles over his overly long legs towards the survival skills center. I hold my breath, hoping that he'll finally talk to the little girl but no such luck. He doesn't even glance at her as he listens to the instructor ramble on.

I groan and shift my attention to the girl who is sitting on the couch across from me. She doesn't even look at me. She sits snuggly between Haymitch and Whytt in her bright yellow, modest dress. Of course she has her two bodyguards with her—Katniss wouldn't dare risk me finding her alone.

_With good reason too_, I think as I grin at her. Her body stiffens under my gaze as if she can feel my eyes on her but she doesn't turn to look at me. I feel someone tugging on my arm and I fight the urge to slap the girl who is sitting next to me. With a deep breath, I turn to look at Johanna. She is pressed up against me, rubbing her breasts lightly against my muscled arms.

"Cato, do you wanna stay with me in my room tonight?" she asks softly but loud enough that Katniss can hear. I stare down at Johanna in shock. I never even gave her the impression that I was interested in her like that. She bats her eye lashes at me and let my mouth form a small smile. I know that she is trying to get a rise out of Katniss and I'm thrilled when I see Katniss turn her head to look at us. I plaster a fake grin on my face and lean in closer to Johanna, ignoring my body's disgusted reaction to her.

"If I didn't have to go talk to my idiotic brother, I would go with you to your room right now," I say so that Katniss can hear.

Johanna's face lights up in excitement and she licks her lips. I'm not attracted to Johanna at all but I'll do whatever it takes to upset Katniss. I turn my head to look at her and our eyes lock. She is fighting the frown that is overcoming her face and I can see the unwanted jealousy in her eyes. I feel a smirk coming across my face and I throw my arm around Johanna and pull her closer to me. Katniss flushes and looks away, biting her lip.

The buzzer that signals the tributes' lunch break fills the room and I know that I need to go and scold my brother for being such a sissy but I can't bring myself to leave just yet. I've actually been surprised by Katniss today. I fully expected her to come today and desperately try to get another sponsor but she has silently sat on the couch next to Whytt and Haymitch and simply watched the training. Even when the bald, fat sponsor, Thyme Hogsbriar, came to talk to her, she was cold and distant. He didn't stay long- although it could be because she isn't dressed like a skank today.

No, her bright dress covers everything that needs to be covered. It buttons up the front and has just a slight v. The sleeves are short and cover her shoulders. It falls above her knees and swayed gently when she entered the Sponsor room this morning.

My attention is drawn to the door and I see Keeth step into the room. My face splits into a big smile as I take in his bruised cheek and black eye that I gave him yesterday. His eyes meet mine momentarily and he frowns. When Katniss and he see each other, his face turns a bright red and he jerks around and walks back out of the room. I laugh, releasing Johanna from my embrace. Katniss frowns dirtily at the door. I get up and pause before her.

"Ah, Katniss, don't worry too much about him. I'm sure you'll find _someone_ to sponsor your precious sister," I say tauntingly and she glares at me, her eyes flashing. The urge to touch her is almost too much to handle but I know that trying to get close to her would be pointless with her bodyguards around.

"Cato, don't you have anything better to do with your time? Why do you always have to torment me?" she hisses quietly as her head snaps up to look at me. Her braid moves violently against her shoulder and I have to fight the impulse to caress her hair between my fingers. I open my mouth to respond but Haymitch cuts me off.

"Cato, watch what you say to her. You wouldn't want to add to the fight you started yesterday. I'm sure Coin is already pleasantly pissed at you for it," he says with just a hint of slurring. I don't even look at the drunk, instead I stare at Katniss.

"Actually, as far as Coin is concerned, Keeth started the fight. After all, he did throw the first punch," I say and smile as an incredulous look fills Katniss' face. I know what she is thinking—there is no winning when it comes to me. "Katniss, I look forward to talking to you soon," I say and her shoulders slump. Satisfaction rushes through me at the sight of her hopelessness. I laugh again, turning towards the door and set out to find my brother.

When I sneak my way into the dining area, I find my brother sitting at a table by himself, staring with a look of uncertainty in his eyes at Prim's back. Whispers fill the room as I make my way to him. I see peacekeepers shift from foot to foot in indecision as they watch me. I ignore them and stalk towards my brother. When he sees me, his face pales and he rises and meets me halfway. I don't even let him say anything.

"Beaufort, I can't believe I have to come and talk to you about this…" I say quietly but he can hear the anger in my voice.

"I know, Cato. I was going to talk to her after lunch. I swear," he says and pushes his glasses up on his nose. I narrow my eyes at him. I hate when he does that—it's a nervous habit of his.

"You'll do it now or you can kiss my sponsorship goodbye."

His face pales but his eyes light up. "You decided to sponsor me?" He asks, shocked.

"If you get into an alliance with Prim, I will. She needs all the help she can get," I say even though I could care less about helping her. I just want Katniss.

"She's already in an alliance with the little girl from District 6... Anyway, why do you want to protect her so much?" He asks, his eyes brimming with jealous tears. I want to slap him but I resist.

"Quit being such a girl and just do it, Beaufort," I growl and walk away before any peacekeepers can come and escort me from the room.

It's not that I want to protect Prim at all. I just want to be able to have power over Katniss and what better way? I stride from the room and head back towards the Sponsor's room. It is only a matter of time before Katniss will break and ask me to sponsor Prim and I can't wait for it. I stalk past a dark hallway and pause as I hear Katniss' hushed voice. I use the shadows to my advantage and I creep down the hall towards her voice.

It's not long until I see her. She is turned from me, her shoulders slumped forward, her upper body almost curled around the phone cradled against her. She leans her head against the wall as she whispers into the phone that is clutched tightly in her hands. My eyes search the shadows around her and I am pleased to find that she alone—no Haymitch, no Whytt.

_Perfect_.

"I'm going to have to say yes to him," she murmurs in defeat and I smile victoriously to myself, knowing that she is talking about me. She pauses here as whoever she is talking to responds. She sighs in aggravation and shifts on her feet. "I know you told me to do whatever it takes, Peeta, but I just can't" she whines and anger floods through me. The urge to hurt her burns in my veins and I clench my fists as I try to fight the craving. Her voice helps to tame the monster. "The problem is that I don't know what he's going to ask of me. I don't know how I will be able to look you in the face when I get back…" she whispers and anger beats destructively inside of me again. She falls silent momentarily as Peeta starts to talk. "Okay, I will Peeta," she whispers brokenly. "You too," she whispers and hangs up the phone.

Anger reverberates through my body making me shake. I know perfectly well what her last statement meant. I take a deep breath, trying desperately to calm myself before I do something that will get me in serious trouble.

I watch in sick fascination as her shoulders start to tremble and she crumples to the floor. She tucks her knees against her chest and her arms hug her legs as she rests her forehead on her knees. Her pose is so defeated and knowing that I've caused it makes me happy. I stand there in the shadows and watch her cry for a long time, letting her pain erase the anger from me and replace it with sick pleasure. I don't know what gives me away but suddenly she stiffens and her head jerks up to look at me.

Power rushes me as she clambers to her feet in fear, her hands angrily wiping at the tears on her cheeks. "What do you want, Cato?" she asks, her voice shakes unsteadily and I smile as I step out of the shadows towards her.

"You should know by now what I want, Katniss," I murmur and she shakes her head angrily.

"What exactly would that be, Cato? To hurt me again? That's all you seem to enjoy doing," she hisses as I step closer to her, forcing her to press her back against the wall as I invade her space. The simple smell of her is enough to make me drop my head in for a kiss but I stop myself before our lips meet.

"I always want to do that, Katniss," I murmur softly, my breath fanning across her face. Her lips part and I reach up to caress her cheek. She tries to flinch away and I can see the panic in her eyes but that only fuels my excitement. I can see her panicked pulse beating frantically in her throat and I drop my hand over it, feeling it pulsing against my fingers. "I want you to let me sponsor Prim," I whisper softly and my fingers twitch against her neck. I desperately want to wrap my hands around her neck, to cut off her air supply, to scare her but I know that I can't—I promised that bitch Coin that I wouldn't do anything to Katniss that would leave a mark for other people to see.

She sighs softly and shakes her head sadly. "What's the catch?" she asks and I fight the urge to smirk—she knows me so well.

"Why does there have to be a catch?" I ask, evasively.

"With you, there is always a catch," she murmurs and rests the back of her head on the wall. I smile slightly and drop my hand from her throat. I rest my forehead against hers, trying not to think of my need to hurt her. My body is pressed against hers and my body starts to hum in excitement.

"I want you to come home with me when this is all over and done with," I say softly, gritting my teeth at how pathetic I sound. If Coin would let me, I'd just drag her back home with me and keep her there but I can't—I'm going to have to try to convince her to come back to me some other way. That realization starts an anger in me that is hard to control. I'm so used to getting whatever I want when it concerns Katniss that having to wait is infuriating.

"District 12 is my home," she whispers and I stiffen in an attempt to keep my rage to myself.

"No, your home is with me," I growl and pull away from her. Her face is white and her lips tremble slightly before she catches it between her teeth. She is afraid of me and I can feel myself harden at the look of terror in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and studies my face.

"I'm not coming home with you, Cato. My home is with Prim," she says simply and pushes past me and stalks down the hall. I want to reach out and grab her. I want to slap her, to put her in her place. To remind her that I'm in charge here and that she isn't the stronger one but I know that it won't do me any good. If I want her to stay with me, I'm going to have to bite the bullet and behave for a little bit until I either get her to agree to come with me or find a way to get her there against her will. With this in mind, I let her go.

"We'll see about that, Katniss," I call after her, unable to help myself from trying to intimidate her. "You'll fall into place when she needs a sponsor," I yell and she picks up her pace to get away from me.

_Nice going, Cato_, I think sourly to myself. A few seconds into manipulating her to come home with me and it was already not working. I was going to have to pull out all of the stops: No yelling, no trying to overpower her, no trying to seduce her…

_Well maybe some of that_, I think to myself realistically. As much as I hate and want to destroy Katniss, I am attracted to her. Ever since I first saw her and I saw that annoying spark in her, I knew I was doomed and that I needed to have her. Maybe it would be best if I switched my sexual attention to someone else for the time being though—Johanna was up to it and I could just pretend she was Katniss. The more I think of it, the more that idea appeals to me. It would benefit me in two ways: giving Katniss some space and making her jealous at the same time. All part of my manipulation to get her where I want her: Home, where I can hurt her all I want.

With one last fleeting glance behind her, Katniss turns the corner with a look of relief on her pale face. Anger courses through me. I know the real reason she won't come home: Peeta. Just thinking about him is enough to make me want to go to Katniss and drag her to my room by her hair. To hurt her for letting him get to her. Images of them together flicker in my head and my chest tightens in anger. My fists clench together and without any thought, I let it fly towards the wall. Pain shoots up my arm and I breathe a sigh of relief as the pain clears my head. I have to play this right or she'll never come home with me.

I don't even bother going back to the Sponsor's room. I want to avoid Johanna for the time being and being around Katniss will anger me and ruin everything. Instead, I head for the training center where the tributes are all hard at work, desperate to learn anything that can save their pathetic little lives.

I watch in contempt as they all slowly file into the arena below me. I eye the career tributes as they shove the smaller tributes out of the way, laughing to each other. I can pick out the really dangerous ones right away. The ones to watch out for are the ones from District 1 and District 4 but I know that the true killers are the siblings from District 1. You can see in their mannerisms that they would do anything to protect each other. I roll my eyes as they walk in, their shoulders bumping lightly against each other. I've had just about enough of sibling love.

My eyes search for my own sibling and I see Beaufort pathetically stalking Prim as he tries to work up courage to approach Prim. I study him and wait for any feeling to come but nothing does. I only feel anger, darkness, and growing disgust at how pathetic he is.

Beaufort takes a step towards Prim and I sigh in relief but he stops suddenly and scuttles back into the crowd behind him. I look to see what has caused him to chicken out once again. Nash, the other tribute from District 6 is talking to Prim. I can't hear what he is saying but when he motions to the little girl from his district that is standing next to Prim; it's not hard to figure out that he's trying to join their alliance.

I groan in frustration. That idiot brother of mine was going to ruin everything. There wasn't a point in getting into an alliance if there were a bunch of people in it- the more people; the easier it was to track you down. I clench my fists and let out a hiss of pain as the hand I punched the wall with pangs sharply. I look down and see that it is already swollen.

"What's the matter, Cato? Are all your evil plans falling apart?" says a sarcastic voice behind me.

I drop my hand and turn to look at Keeth. He is sitting in the shadows slumped dejectedly in his seat. He is frowning in bitterness. "Oh, Keeth, don't be upset that I ruined your plans to get Katniss in your bed," I sneer and Keeth blushes.

"That's not why I was going to sponsor her..." he starts to mumble but I cut him off.

"Bull shit!" I hiss, "We both know Prim doesn't have a chance of making it home. Sponsoring her will result in a financial loss."

"Then why in the hell are you doing it?" He asks me and his eyes search my face, trying to determine what makes me tick. I laugh coldly.

"Oh come on, let's be honest. I'm doing it so I have something to hold over Katniss. I thought everyone already had that figured out by now," I laugh sneeringly at him.

"Why? What the hell is it about her that makes you this way?" he asks in desperation.

"That's none of your damned business," I growl and turn back to look at the tributes. I'm happy to see that Nash has gone and Beaufort is now talking to Prim who is frowning sternly at him and shaking her blonde, braided head at him. Beaufort waves his hands around in argument and her face drains and she looks up at me, biting her pink lower lip. She looks back at Beaufort and nods slowly. He sags in relief and she trips off to the survival center with a confused glance back at him.

I let my mind wander back to Keeth's question. Why _do_ I treat Katniss so awfully? I know I've told Katniss when she was staying with me that it was because she scored higher than me in private training but it has gone beyond that. I don't even know if I know why I chose her specifically over all the other girls out there. There is a spark in her that I love trying to put out. The best part is that every time I think I have succeeded, she gets it back and I get the pleasure of starting all over again.

I made sure Gale died and kidnapped her and she still found hope in Prim's memory and in Anne's company. Then I slowly turned Katniss from Prim and killed Anne and she finds a friend in Whytt and Peeta. I get her knocked up unwantedly and she finds solace in our babies. I kill them but next time I see her, her eyes are flashing in determination to keep her sister alive. I don't know how she does it but sooner or later I'm going to break that girl and she'll be so utterly broken that there will be no way in hell that she'll be able to recover from it.

* * *

I stare in shocked anger at the 3 that is flashing on the screen next to Beaufort's geeky, acne blotched face. How the hell did he manage to get such a poor score? My anger grows when I see that Marble scored a 9. A ten year old beat Beaufort? No matter that she was trained in the academy, he still should have scored at least a 6!

I clench my fists together and hiss as my injured one throbs. I look down at the bandage surrounding my swollen hand and glare in aggravation at it as my angry thoughts whirl like a swarm of tracker jackers in my head.

I remember when I was just nine years old, going around and beating up smaller kids, taking deep pleasure in their pain—it was like an addiction I couldn't get enough of. I'm sure that the medicine I was on had something to do with it and whenever I missed a dose, I was less likely to have a violent outburst but no matter how long I was off my medicine, I always reverted to my old ways. It got worse when Snow changed my meds—I was less likely to have any good day at all and more and more prone to violence but I liked it that way. I'm well acquainted with anger and violence, happiness and joy just doesn't sit right with me.

I sincerely doubt Beaufort could even hurt a baby. I suppose it's not all his fault though—I was trained to be heartless and a killer from a young age while he was not. My mother had a special soft spot for him and loved to baby him all the time. She was proud of me and the honor I could bring to the family but she actually _cared_ about my brother.

I draw my attention back to the screen to see that Nettie and Slate from District 4 have scored a 10 which ranks them up next to the brother and sister from District 1 who both scored a ten also. Torque from District 5 scores a 9 and Nash does the same. I barely pay attention to the rest of the tributes until it comes to Prim. She scores a 7 and I stare at her innocent face on the screen in awe.

_How the hell did she manage that_? I wonder, thinking about all the time she spent at the survival skills center and how she never once ventured towards any of the weapon centers.

I push up from the couch, ignoring all the other sponsors' looks as I head to the bar. None of the mentors are here right now so the room is filled up with all the sponsors. Mentors usually spend this night trying to plan strategy with their tributes based off of the scores they received in private training.

A skinny, toned Avox is behind the bar and she smiles at me, showing me her straight white teeth. Her hair is blonde and is hanging thickly around her shoulders. Her full lashes flutter slightly as she takes in my broad shoulders. Her cheeks blush and approval lights her green eyes.

"Get me something strong," I bark at her, not caring what I drink to try to numb the ever present anger within me. She smiles coyly at me and turns to pour me a drink, wiggling her behind at me in invitation.

I eye it momentarily before looking away. Avoxes weren't really my scene—the whole missing tongue thing just didn't do it for me. She slides my drink towards me, keeping her hand wrapped around it so I have to touch her in order to get it.

Our eyes lock as I reach forward to grab the drink. She lets out a mangled giggle and disgust fills my face at the awful sound of it. Her missing tongue just makes it come out in a gurgling sort of way—not attractive at all. She blushes, jerks her hand away and drops her head in embarrassment.

"Nasty tongueless creatures," says a moody voice behind me and I turn to Johanna. She is glaring at the Avox behind me and while she is occupied I eye her outfit. She's wearing a dress with a slit on the side that must go all the way up to her tanned hip. I can see her perfectly shaped leg sticking out from the slit. I let my eyes slide up her leg and come to rest at her chest. Her cleavage is pushed together appealingly, showing almost everything. "Do you like what you see, Cato baby?" she purrs and I flick my eyes up to meet her. I'll admit that her body is fine but for some reason she just pales in comparison to Katniss.

"Wanna get out of here?" I ask her instead of answering her question. I've got some anger that I need to get out and I'm starting to feel the nagging need to hurt someone build up in me. It's a demand that I have never been able to deny for too long.

She smiles. "Yeah, I left Blight to deal with our only tribute. She's too old to win so I don't see the point in wasting my time on her. Do you feel like grabbing something to eat?" she asks and I shrug.

"Sure," I murmur.

Dinner is a long affair. She drags me down to a closed-off portion of the kitchen and we quietly eat dinner in the dark, sneaking food from the fridge as we sit on the cold metal counter tops. Laughing with her is easy. Her sense of humor is dark and I can easily relate to that. It's when she starts touching me and trying to feed me that the urge to hurt her grows. My palms start to sweat in anticipation and my heart pumps aggressively in my chest. My thoughts go to Katniss. I remember all the times she has cowered at my feet, her blood staining my hands. My body reacts to the memory and Johanna mistakes it as a reaction to her body rubbing against mine. She gasps and laughs breathlessly as her eyes roam over the bulge in my pants.

"My room?" she asks, batting her eyes.

"I was thinking mine," I say and she smiles in agreement.

We are stumbling to the elevators, Johanna clinging tightly to my arm and giggling when I see her. She is walking quietly through the lobby towards a heavily gardened courtyard. She looks up at the sound of Johanna's giggle and I can see that she is crying. She stops short and her gaze flickers between Johanna and I. A look of pain crosses her face and she shoves out into the dark courtyard.

"Can you wait here, Johanna?" I ask and she pouts and tries to tug me towards the elevators. I lean in close to her and she sucks in a surprised breath.

"I promise that I'll make it worth your while," I whisper next to her ear and nibble on her earlobe. She shivers and releases my arm. I want to chuckle but I don't.

_Girls are so easy to manipulate,_ I think to myself and start after Katniss. It's not hard to find her. I following the sound of sniffling and find her hidden in the shadows near a softly gurgling stream. The moonlight shines down softly through the trees above and the crickets chirp consistently around us. The air is cool and I know that she must be cold in her dress.

"What do you want?" she asks, her back towards me and her arms wrapped around her chest.

"You know what I want, Katniss," I whisper. She turns to glare at me, tears streaming down her face. I wait for feeling to come but nothing does. A normal man would feel bad for her, for what he has done to her but I just feel the need to hurt her more. "Why are you crying?" I ask, my voice getting carried away with the sound of the stream.

"I'm not sure if I can say without you hurting me because of it," she says, studying my face in the dark.

"I won't hurt you," I whisper and she rolls her eyes which just makes me want to slap her. "Katniss, please," I whisper and she sighs.

"Because my sister is about to be ripped away from me in just two days, because the babies I never wanted but grew to love were taken from me, because I think I might be in love with Peeta, because I know my love isn't even close to how deeply he feels for me, because I miss him, and because I know that I'm no good for him…" she stops here and I bite the inside of my lip as I try to control my anger. I knew she had let him touch her. _Filthy slut,_ I think. Pain radiates through my lip as I break the skin and the iron taste of blood coats my tongue. "But most of all because even with all the shit you've ever done to me, sometimes I miss you. Sometimes I want you and it shouldn't be that way," she says and shakes her head in disgust at herself. Hope burns in me and has me shifting uncomfortably.

"Come home with me Katniss," I plead and step towards her and she flinches away from me.

"No," she says firmly and I rub my hands down my face in frustration. My injured hand throbs in time with my heart beat and I desperately try to cling to my control.

"I'm confused. You just said—"

"I know what I said but how do you think I could ever come home with you, Cato? You killed our babies, you raped me, you killed Anne, you've broken me and you _like_ it," she says and I sigh in frustration as I try to hide just how angry I am and how much I desperately just want to slap her, to dominate her, to have my way with her.

"Katniss, I can change," I say weakly and she laughs at my attempt to manipulate her.

"No, Cato, you can't. There was a time when I thought you could… When we played in the snow, when we were on the victory tour… I might have been able to be with that Cato," she whispers. It makes sense that she could see herself being with that Cato because that Cato wasn't really me. Those were my few good days but even on my original medicine, I could never stay sane for very long. Soon, I would be itching to hurt someone. Katniss speaks and it's almost like she can tell what I'm thinking about: "It's almost like you're on that medicine again," she says and I jump at my chance to manipulate her.

"I told you that the new medicine was stronger—it was different. It changed me, Katniss," I lie and she shakes her head. The new medicine _was_ stronger but it didn't make me the way I am today—years and years of feeling angry and being taught to enjoy people's pain did. The life I have lived has made me addicted to anger and other people's pain and I like it that way.

"No, Cato. I think the real you is just mean," she whispers and I open my mouth to protest but she cuts me off. "Cato, just go. I know Johanna is waiting for you," she says bitterly and I want to lash out at my lost chance.

"What's the matter, Katniss?" I ask. Danger and a hint of anger leak unwantedly into my menacing voice. "I thought this is what you would want—me paying attention to someone else. Leaving you alone," I say.

"It is what I want," she says and I can hear the half-truth in her voice. It takes all the strength in me to turn and walk away calmly but I manage it, knowing that I can take all my frustration out on Johanna. I recognize a lost cause and right now, Katniss needs space. But I haven't given up on her—I won't. She's mine and nothing can ever change that.

As I step into the cool air of the lobby, Johanna smiles pleasantly at me. "Are you ready? Because I am," she says. I laugh because she has no idea what she has gotten herself into.


	9. The Last Supper

Chapter 9— The Last Supper

The crowd roars and beside me, Prim shuffles uncomfortably in nerves. I pull her close to me and run my hand over her arm.

"You'll do fine, Prim. Caesar is actually a good guy and he'll make sure you don't make a fool out of yourself," I say and she smiles lamely, not totally convinced. We are waiting in a line of tributes and mentors. The tributes are soon going to be called to sit on stage with Caesar and I can see that most of them are afraid- the exception being the careers, of course.

I catch the tributes from District 6 peering at us from the front of the line and I try my best not to frown at Prim's alliance members. Avanti is hardly the kind of person I would deem appropriate for protecting Prim but she had insisted. Nash, on the other was well-suited for protecting Prim. He was twenty eight years old and his fingers seemed to be perpetually stained with motor oil from working on transportation devices. His arms are muscular but not as big as Cato's. I'm sure he could defend Prim if she needed it; I just wasn't quite sure why he would want to. Why did he ask to join her alliance? When I had asked Prim about it after the second day of training, she has simply shrugged her tiny shoulders and told me that she was thinking of accepting his offer which she had done the next day while they waited for their private training sessions.

Even more puzzling than Nash was Beaufort. Prim had accepted him into her alliance without any discussion with me or Haymitch. She claimed that Beaufort told her that if he wasn't in her alliance, Cato promised to do something horrible to me so Prim had agreed right away. I was simply confused as to why exactly Cato wanted Beaufort in Prim's alliance—whatever the reason, I didn't trust that boy for one moment even though he didn't appear capable of even hurting a fly. I study him now, his eyes andnoss are a bright red and it's not hard to guess that he has been crying- no, _sobbing._

"Where are Haymitch, Whytt, and Effie?" Prim asks quietly, her voice shaking slightly. She already knows the answer to this but I realize this is her attempt to distract herself so I giveher the answer once again.

"I told them to stay at the apartment. They'll be able to see you better on the screen there instead of the small screens that are here," I explain as I motion to the small screens that are scattered about this long hall and Prim nods thoughtfully. I told Whytt not come with because we all knew that the sponsors are sitting in the crowd, watching the interviews. Cato wouldn't be able to get to me this time.

"I'm kind of glad that it's just me and you," she admits softly and leans her head against my arm.

"Me too," I say and she looks up to smile fearfully at me.

A signal is given and the line starts to shift as one by one, tributes are called to the stage. The crowd grows louder and Prim shoves her hand into mine. I can feel their clamminess. I smile. She has nothing to fear about the interview, it's the arena that she needs to fear. One by one, tributes sep out into the bright stage lights and take their spots on the chairs that have been set up on the stage. Soon, it's Prim's turn to go onstage and I only have time for one quick kiss and then she is tripping childishly into the spot light. Some of the mentors wander down the hall to a sitting area but I opt to stay here, pacing the hall.

Caesar welcomes all the tributes and then sits down to interview them, each getting their allotted time of three minutes. Lametta and Tinsel, the siblings from District 1 each talk about how much they want to protect the other, that nothing could come between their familial love for each other. The crowd was full of sentimental cries during their interviews and had Caesar Flickerman shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Luckily, their time was up and Marble was next. She was rather forgettable. She didn't like to talk about her family, refused to talk about her skills, and talking about training in the academy was taboo so not much was said of any interest. Beaufort was a hot mess. He sobbed, his face turning an unattractive shade of red that pronounced his red acne even more. Caesar tried to calm him but it was no use. The only words that anyone could understand were "My mom, I'll miss my mom." He repeats those words over and over until Caesar announces that his time is up and Beaufort stumbles back to his seat to continue crying.

I zone out during District 3 interviews, not caring for the strawberry blonde haired girl and what she has to say. I pace the empty hallway, my eyes darting every few seconds to the screen as the girl speaks. The remaining mentors look at me wearily but don't say anything as they watch the screen. I hear the girl on stage mention something about District 12 but I don't pay it much attention.

When the tributes from District 4 go on stage, I stop my pacing and pay attention. These are two are dangerous tributes and their looks alone demand that people pay attention to them. The crowd falls silent each time one of them joins Caesar and as soon as they sit, the crowd murmurs awe-filled whispers to each other. Their faces look especially sharp in the harsh lights that pale their tanned skins. The girl's hair is long and black and has feathers weaved into it. Their outfits correspond and fit perfectly with their district's main commodity of fishing. They look like they are covered in iridescent scales and have fish nets draping from them. Caesar tries to joke and play with them but they gaze steadily at him, unamused and with cold seriousness in their sharp eyes.

When Caesar asks Nettie about the rumor of them being friends with benefits, she affirms that they are without a second thought. Gasps fill the crowd and an uproar starts as they realize that lovers will once again be sent into the arena. However, when Slate goes on he makes it very clear that although they are more than friends, that their vigorous training has ensured that they didn't form any deep emotional ties and that he would not have any trouble killing her if it came down to it. I'm shocked not only by his refusal to play the star-crossed lovers act but also by his mention of academy training. As the cameras slide to Nettie, they show her unfazed and nodding in agreement to Slate's declaration and then his time is up.

When Slate leaves the stage, I draw into myself and wonder why exactly they aren't trying to play the star-crossed lovers act. It is probably too soon after Gale and I being in there for that. A pain twinges my heart and I shuffle awkwardly on my feet as I try not to think of Gale right now—with everything going on, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

The rest of the tributes fly by and are unimpressive. I stop paying attention after Slate leaves the stage and instead take to studying the mentors. Finnick Odair is gazing at me, an intent look on his face. When our eyes meet, he doesn't drop his gaze. Instead he slowly winks at me. I stiffen my spine and turn away from him. I've heard the rumors about him and all the people he has slept with. My eyes roam down the hall wondering why things seem to be so peaceful. It's then that I realize that Johanna isn't here.

_Good riddance,_ I think as my eyes land on two people who look very similar to each other. They have ashen skin and dark black hair. The boy has glasses on but they don't seem to fit properly on his face. They are hunched together arguing about something. Watching them argue is entertaining as they don't ever let one another finish a complete sentence. I feel myself smiling as the boy shoves his glasses furiously up his nose.

The mention of Prim's name has me turning my attention back to what is going on onstage. Flickerman is talking to Nash, asking him why a strong guy like him would put himself into an alliance with two small girls.

I turn my head to find a screen so I can watch Nash's face. He is hanging his head, his elbows resting on his bent knees. He reaches up to rub his face. "It's just so sick," he whispers and Caesar frowns and leans closer.

"What is?" He asks with a look of confusion.

"I am being sent to the games with an eight year old- _eight years old_, Caesar. How is that right?" He asks and looks into Caesar's face, searching for the answer. Caesar sputters and for once doesn't have anything to say. A loud buzzer fills the air and Caesar is shaken from his stupor.

"Oh, it looks like your time is up!" he cheers even though only a minute has gone by. Nash stands up and the crowd is oddly quiet as they process what he has said. He turns to face them.

"Watch," he calls out to the dumbfounded crowd, "watch and see if I'm not mysteriously picked off during the games because of what I have said today," he says and walks back to his seat.

I let out a breath that I wasn't aware I was holding my body relaxes as the next tribute steps forward for their interview. I don't know what to think about Nash's challenge to the Capitol. I can only hope that his actions don't come to harm my sister in anyway.

The rest of the interviews pass by in a slow blur but a few stick with me. A seventy-five year old man from District 8 breaks down as he tells the crowd about his sick wife that he had to leave at home by herself, that there is no one to take care of her and that she will most likely end up dead without his help. Caesar tries his best to try to spin it in a positive light but some things are just too tragic. The other interview that sticks out in my head is the one of a nine year old from District 9 who still has the nervous habit of sucking his fingers. He spends the whole interview with his fingers in his mouth and his eyes wide as he tells Caesar of his favorite things that he likes to do with his parents. The ending of that interview is a sad one as Caesar wishes him luck and the crowd sits quietly, refusing to applaud. It seems like the Capitol is actually growing a conscious- who would think it'd be possible?

Soon it's time for the last interview—Prim's. She walks to the seat next to Flickerman on her tippy toes and sits delicately in the seat. She smiles at him and Caesar welcomes her.

"Primrose Everdeen, Primrose Everdeen, Primrose Everdeen," He murmurs as he studies her, trying to figure her out. He smiles dazzling into the blinding lights and the crowd applauds. "So Primrose, it appears that you've made a few enemies here," Caesar says and I'm dumbfounded. Enemies? Who is he talking about?

Prim lets out a shaky laugh. "It appears so," she says and turns to look at the tribute from District 3 named Elicity who is glowering at her. I must have missed something while I was zoning out earlier.

"Ah, well, no matter. Just try to avoid her in the arena," he says and the crowd laughs delightfully. _So much for having a conscious, _I think.

"Primrose Everdeen," he murmurs once again as he looks at her like she is a puzzle to be solved, "Now, you've heard me ask this to your other alliance members but I'm going to ask you too. Why did you pick them of all people to be your allies?"

Prim frowns and thinks for a couple of seconds before answering. "Well, when I saw Avanti, I just knew that I had to have her on my team—I had to find a way help protect her," she says and the crowd whispers in shock. Having tributes talk about saving someone else wasn't really that common—especially if the tribute that does the talking needed as much help as she could get. "Then Nash asked to be in our alliance, claiming he wanted the chance to protect his tribute partner but I wasn't really comfortable with it still," she says.

"Well, what changed your mind?" Caesar prods.

"He told me about his sister," she whispers, her face growing serious.

"What about his sister?" He asks and Prim looks over her shoulder to Nash who gives her a brief nod of permission.

"His younger sister got reaped for the Hunger Games and didn't survive. He told me that I reminded him an awful lot of her and that he wanted to be able to protect me like he wasn't able to protect his sister. After that, I knew I could trust him," she says quietly and Caesar pats her leg in comfort.

"I'd say that you could trust him," Caesar says with a warm smile and another pat on the leg. Then he straightens and I can feel a change of topic coming. "Prim, I'm dying to know… tell me how you scored a 7 in private training."

Prim blushes and looks down. I laugh because I'm not even sure how she managed that. We had been working on training her with knives and slingshots. She was barely adequate with throwing knives but she was actually pretty good with a slingshot—not as good as Marble but she could hold her own. The only problem she faced was that as soon as she aimed at anything that even vaguely resembled a human being, she was lucky if she could even bring herself to get a shot off and if she did, she never hit the target.

"I can't tell you that, Caesar," she giggles and then looks him straight in the eyes, "but I can say that I'm related to Katniss Everdeen and if you are thinking of writing me off, you're a fool," she says clearly. The crowd is silent then slowly a wave of noise comes as the crowd erupts into cheers for her. My mouth is hanging open and I don't even care. Prim blushes and looks down at her hands with a smile on her face.

Caesar laughs and the crowd roars on. He doesn't even get a chance to dismiss her because the crowd won't stay quiet. The tributes are dismissed from the stage and Prim skips joyfully from the stage to my side.

"How did I do?" she asks, her eyes sparkling.

"You did fine, prim," I murmur as I study her excited and flushed face.

Does she honestly not realize that the games are just right around the corner? That she only has two more nights and then she'll be in the arena?

"Quit looking at me like that," she demands and tugs me towards the elevators that will get us to our district's floor. The elevator is empty as all the tributes and mentors are busy chatting back stage. The doors ding and are almost closed when someone shoves their hand to prevent them from shutting. I look up in time to see Cato step onto the elevator with us. _Crap,_ I think, _how the hell did he get here so fast? The interviews just ended! _He smiles and presses the close door button then turns to smile down at Prim who shrinks into my side. Tension is thick in the air and my heart is drumming like birds wings. If he touches her, I will kill him.

"What do you want, Cato?" I hiss as the images of him and Johanna play in my head. _You're not jealous. You're not jealous,_ I chant in my head as something I don't want to face boils up within me.

"Relax, Katniss, not everything is about you. I came to congratulate the tribute I'm going to sponsor on her score and a great interview," he says with a smile. I'm stunned into silence at the effect that this smile has on his face. Gone is the man who beat me, who raped me, who killed Anne. Gone is the face of a monster which is now replaced with a friendly face. I feel Prim pull away from my embrace and I try to keep her next to me but with a shove she is free and is smiling timidly back at Cato.

"Funny," I sneer, "but I don't recall telling you we accepted your sponsorship."

"Oh, Katniss, I didn't come here to fight with you but I will say that you shouldn't put this precious little girl's life on the line just because of your feelings towards me," he says and Prim frowns and looks at me, her perfectly plucked brows furrowed in her confusion.

"Well, let me do the honor of accepting it then," she says. Her face slips back into a smile and she turns to look at Cato. "And let me thank you in advance for your support," she murmurs and Cato smiles at her. His gaze slides back to mine and I can see in his face, the urge to slip into an evil grin but he manages to keep it off his face.

Anger floods through me as I remember admitting to him that I missed him, that I wanted him. How stupid could I have been? That had definitely been a moment of weakness that I could not afford to let happen again.

"I look forward to working with you," he says simply and then the elevator doors are dinging open. I grab Prim's arm and drag her into our apartment. I turn, half expecting him to follow me out but he doesn't. With a handsome grin that doesn't possess any hint of anger or danger, he winks at me.

"I'll be seeing you tomorrow night, Katniss," he says and then disappears behind the closing doors.

"Why hadn't you accepted it yet?" Prim's voice is hushed in anger. I look down at her in shock—_why was she mad at me_?

"It wasn't like I wasn't going to, Prim. We don't have any other option, I was going to accept it but not until the games started or until you needed something," I try to explain.

"Well, what if it had been too late by then, Katniss? What if he got mad at you and then decided not to sponsor me by then? I can't believe you are playing with my life like this," she says angrily and I'm floored. I don't think Prim has been mad at me a day in her life. I can feel anger starting to rise in me. Why would she be on _his_ side? She knows everything he has done to me.

"Prim, I just didn't want him being able to have any power over me until you needed something," I protest and she glares at me.

"Normally, that would be fine but this is serious, Katniss. You've made it painfully obvious that I have a slim chance of winning and that I need all the help I can get. I just can't believe that you were playing around when the head sponsor wanted me," she says and then turns on her heel with a flick of her braided hair. With one last withering glance over her shoulder, she stomps from the room, pushing angrily past Whytt and Haymitch. Silence fills the room until we hear her door slam.

"What was that about?" Whytt asks quietly and I simply shrug.

"Prim has officially accepted Cato's sponsorship," I say meekly.

"Well, we all knew it was going to come to that, Katniss," Haymitch says.

"Yeah, I know but I just wasn't ready to give into him yet," I retort. "I just hope he doesn't try to use her against me," I murmur and the boys fall silent because we all know that he will.

I glare at my no-nonsense stylist in distaste as he whirls around me, getting me prepared for the tribute dinner that is taking place soon. I long for Cinna's expert hands but I know that he is reserved for 12's female tribute only and that's not me.

I let the glare slide from my face as my thoughts drift to Prim. Today she woke up in a foul mood and all during training this morning she was short with everyone. After not being able to hit the human-shaped target with her slingshot, she had thrown it on the ground and stomped from the roof shouting about how she was doomed to die and how she was never going to get any better.

Haymitch and I didn't know what to say or do about it so we had simply let her go. When I passed her room later, I could hear her desperate sobs muffled by a pillow and her moans of longing for home. When I knocked and asked to be let in, she had screamed for me to go away.

It broke my heart knowing that soon she'd be gone—possibly for forever and we were spending our last days together like this but I understood what she was going through. She was terribly afraid and was pushing me and everyone she cares about away because of it.

My stylist works furiously as he struggles to get my hair into a high ponytail. I start to wonder what could possibly make putting hair into a ponytail so hard when he steps back, announcing that he is done. This is usually when I would take a look at myself in the mirror but as my eyes shoot upward, they get caught on a small figure in the doorway.

Prim stands there hesitating between entering or leaving. I smile at her. She is wearing a ballroom shaped dress but the material used makes it less formal looking. Her hair is in elaborate braids and her hair shimmers and sparkles in certain lights.

"Hey Prim," I say and my voice seems to make up her mind for her as she stumbles into my bathroom.

"I wish I looked more like you, Katniss," she whispers, "I look like mom and I've always wanted to look like dad."

"Ah, Prim, I'm okay but you're _beautiful_," I rejoin and she smiles slightly as she sits next to me on the plush ottoman in the middle of the bathroom.

My stylist puts some finishing touches on my makeup then flies from the room to go and dig in my closet.

"I'm sorry I've been so moody," Prim murmurs and I try to reassure her that it's okay but she won't let me. "It's not okay, Katniss. I've just been trying so hard to keep everything together, to be the same me as before this all happened but I just can't. I used to wonder why you were never the same after you got back… It would make me so angry. I kept thinking that you should just snap out of it and move on but I'm starting to understand. You can never be the same after something like this. The Games change you whether you want them to or not," she states with a sad sigh. I put my arm around her and pull her close, not bothering to say anything because there is nothing that can be said to make any of this better—to make any of this go away.

"I'm scared, Katniss," she whispers.

"I know, Prim. I was too," I say and kiss the top of her head.

"What if I go in there and I never come back out?" she whispers and I wrap both of my arms around her as my heart breaks in my chest for her. I don't say anything because my stylist bursts back into the room but I know what I would do if she died in the arena. I'd kill that bitch Coin.

_Whatever you do, don't bend over;_ I think to myself as I enter the dark banquet hall. I pull at the back of my too short dress uncomfortably as cool air attacks my bare legs. I'll never understand Capitol fashion. Just because you can make a skirt short, doesn't necessarily mean that you should.

My dress is dark and has two thick straps that provide a little cover for my cold shoulders. The top is tight and the skirt has two full layers that end too high up on my thighs for my taste. My stylist had declared that I looked like the perfect ballerina in it but I had no idea what that was so I was left to draw my own concliusions about my dress- _skimpy and uncomfortable._

Prim slips her hand through mine and I smile down at her. Her hair dazzles wonderfully, giving it the impression of blue, glowing embers.

"Everyone is looking at you," she murmurs to me and I frown as I look around. People are looking our way.

"It's not me they're looking at, Prim. It's you," I whisper. "You look magnificent," I declare and she smiles, lighting up her face in the process. I desperately try to memorize this moment. They way her smile transforms her face into a thing of wonder and beauty, the way her eyes dance in excitement, the way her hair glows, the feel of her hand in mine.

As we walk through the tables, I realize that the tables aren't seated by districts anymore—instead people are left to find their own seats. I spot Keeth at the bar downing drinks with a few empty glasses in front of him. He catches my gaze in the mirror behind the bar and he lifts his drink to me in toast and then downs it. I frown at him and run into something hard and solid.

I know without looking that it's Cato—why else would my body respond in this way? Heat rushes to my face at an alarming pace and I'm surrounded by warmth as electricity zings through my body. His scent fills my body and even though I can tell that he hasn't been using pheromones, my body still reacts to the scent. His arms go around me and he lets out a soft exclamation as if this was an accidental encounter. Y_eah right, buddy._

"Katniss," he whispers down at me and I flinch away from his embrace.

"Cato," I say stiffly and he frowns ever so slightly as if he's disappointed in my reaction to him. He smooths his face over and turns to Prim to smile at her.

"I was hoping that you two would sit with me tonight. I'd like to hear what you two are planning concerning your strategy. I could also provide some pointers; after all, I _am_ a victor," he says with a charming smile.

Prim looks up at me, a small concerned frown on her face. Her eyes gaze at me in question and I can tell that she wants to sit with him but doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I give her a small nod, knowing that she only wants this as a way to better her chances of survival and not because Cato has fooled her with his charming smile.

"That would be wonderful," she says with a shallow nod of her head. "I hope you don't mind but Nash and Avanti will be joining us too," she says.

"Of course," Cato says with a small bow in Prim's direction. She flushes and I can tell that his charm is starting to work on my naïve sister. I briefly wish that I was as gullible as her—maybe life would be more enjoyable that way. I quickly dismiss that thought. I would much rather be aware of the corruption around me than to live in a fake world that is full of lies.

"Haymitch and Whytt will be joining us too," I say coldly and he nods at me.

"Of course," he murmurs as his eyes practically ravage my face and body. I can feel a blush covering my body and his eyes are full of knowledge—knowledge of what exactly he can do to me despite all the evil he has committed.

Cato motions for Prim to lead the way to a table and as soon as she passes him, he offers his arm to me. I eye it distastefully before I grudgingly take it. Despite the times that I want and miss him, I still hate his guts.

Prim leads us to a table that Nash, Avanti and their mentors are currently occupying. Nash stands as Prim and I sit, Cato graciously pulling my chair out for me. I stiffly take the chair he offers, every nerve in my body standing to attention as I turn my back to me biggest enemy. Luckily, he doesn't attack, instead opting to pushing me up to the table and then taking the seat next to me. He smiles politely to everyone at the table and when he sees that Prim has them temporarily occupied, he leans over to me.

"You really do look amazing tonight, Katniss. You're the most beautiful girl here," he murmurs and I'm shocked to find that I believe him. The tone in his voice is so authentic, that I couldn't _not _believe him. He straightens back out before anyone can notice that he has said anything to me.

Prim makes formal introductions to everyone around the table but despite them, I immediately forget the District 6 mentors. They are pale and their hands shake slightly, as they crave for drugs that have been denied to them. It's a well-known fact that these two are horribly addicted to morphling.

Next to me, Cato shifts as he greets everyone at the table and I stiffen, expecting him to make some sort of move on me but to my deep surprise, he doesn't. He turns his body to me and smiles.

"Would you like something to drink, Katniss?" he murmurs deeply and an unwanted shiver works its way through my body at the sound of it. This is the voice he uses when he has me trapped and his lips are pressed against my ear, blowing his hot breath against my overly sensitive skin. My mouth gapes open and he smiles at me in humor at my dumbfounded expression. "I'll take that as a yes," he says as he motions for an Avox to come and take our drink order. I sit silently and let him talk for me.

I take this chance to admire him while he is preoccupied. His blonde hair is slicked to the side and is a drastic change from his usual nonchalant look. His tux clings to him in all the right ways, showing off his muscles while not being too tight at the same time. I'm pulled from my studying him just in time as Haymitch and Whytt join us and Cato sends the Avox on her way to get our drinks.

As they slide into their chairs on the opposite side of the table, they glare hatefully at Cato. Beside me Prim stiffens and I know that she is worried that their hateful attitude towards Cato could cost her needed help in the arena. Something in me tells me that she doesn't need to worry about this—that Cato will sponsor Prim as long as I do what is asked of me; that Cato could care less what other people do.

"Haymitch. Whytt," Cato murmurs with a nod at each of them. Their response is to intensify their glares. Prim shifts in her chair next to me and then Haymitch curses and reaches down under the table. The glare slips off his face as incredulity fills his face. He looks at me, his eyes wide.

"Did you just kick me?" he asks and I can hear the astonishment in his voice.

"No," I say and start to laugh as I realize what has just happened. Prim glares at Haymitch and Whytt.

"You guys need to cut it out and lay aside your differences. Sure, Cato has done some bad things but he is sponsoring me and I appreciate all the help that he will be able to provide for me in the games," she declares with a huff and the table falls silent in surprise.

I sit quietly, trying to figure out how I feel about this. I mean, I know logically that Prim doesn't like Cato because of what he has done to me and that she is only being nice to him because he holds her fate in his hands. But despite all of that, her sticking up for him still hurts me even though I understand all the reasons behind why she did it. Prim seems to know what I'm thinking because when no one is looking, she reaches over to give my hand an apologetic squeeze. I smile to let her know that I appreciate her concern and she releases my hand and turns to talk to Avanti.

The Avox places a drink in front of me and hands me a pill to go with it. I stare at it confused.

"What is this for?" I ask, turning to look at the Avox. She simply stares at me and it takes me a few moments to realize that she can't answer my question because she can't talk. I blush. "Oh, I am so sorry," I whisper, mortified.

Cato leans over. "It's to help fight being hung over tomorrow morning. I knew that you would want to be at your best so I told her to bring it with the drinks," he says and I frown. I really don't like this nice Cato—he's weird and unknown which is dangerous.

"Thanks," I mouth and he simply grunts in the back of his throat. I pick up my drink, plop the pill in my mouth and take three deep, burning gulps. I keep my eyes down and so I don't get to see what causes tension to fill the air at our little table right away. But once I realize that the tension isn't going away, I knock back my drink and almost spit it everywhere when I see Keeth sitting next to Haymitch and Whytt. I barely manage to swallow the liquid in my mouth.

"What are you doing here?" I look over to Cato who had voiced the question that was booming in my head. He's trying to fight the anger but he can't quite manage it. My eyes dart to Keeth who is smiling smugly and a little drunkenly.

"Oh, Cato, have you not checked the board today? I'm sponsoring Nash and Avanti," he sneers.

"How convenient," Cato says and then turns his attention to Prim, wiping all traces of a frown off of his face and replaces it with a smile. "So do you want to tell me about your strategy?" He asks and Prim nods but Nash is the one that talks, demanding Cato's attention.

"So the plan is really simple because we don't know what the arena is going to look like but Prim and Avanti are going to seek shelter together as soon as gong goes off. They aren't to stick around there at all because they will be sitting ducks. I am the one who is going to go in for some supplies. I'll try to get a sling shot or knives for Prim," he says and pauses as he takes a sip of water. "Then I'll track them and hopefully I can find them," he says and shrugs. "I know it's not the best plan but it's the best that we can do," he says lamely.

Cato nods his head, "it's really not a bad plan under the circumstances. I think that from the looks of you, you'll be able to survive the cornucopia but if you don't have any fighting skills, I wouldn't go in there because the careers are lethal."

Memories of Cato killing flash in my head and I down my drink, trying to chase the awful memories from me. An Avox discreetly swoops by to take my empty glass and replace it with a full one.

Nash nods his head eagerly. "I've learned some new stuff during training but I've always watched the fighting during the games and practiced what I saw," he says and Cato nods. I can tell that he is amused by this primitive training compared to his academy training.

"Hopefully, it is enough because without fighting skills, you'll be dead and without you, Avanti and Prim are going to be in a tough spot," he says truthfully and dread fills my stomach. The realization that this is _really_ going to happen hits me and I grip my drink tightly in my hand. There is a cracking noise and then I feel hands on mine.

"Katniss, let go of the glass," Cato murmurs as he unwraps my hands from their death grip around the glass. "You're going to break it," he says and tugs the glass from my hand. My horrified eyes slide to his and he takes a moment looking into my eyes before her leans over. "It'll be okay, Katniss, just hold it together," he says and I look away to gaze at Prim. She gives me a puzzled look before turning to talk to Avanti and Nash. My eyes go to Haymitch and he gestures for me to take a deep breath, lifts his glass to me and takes a deep drink. I follow by example and work on downing my drink.

"Nash, your interview was really ballsy, don't you think? Kind of dangerous, if you ask me," Haymitch says as he sets down his empty glass on the table. Silence falls and proves that everyone agrees with this opinion of Nash's forewarning speech.

"It was dangerous but I'm just sick of people not addressing how corrupt things are. I figured that I am already in enough danger that it really couldn't hurt anymore."

"Well it's nice that you think that but I on the other hand, don't appreciate you pulling your alliance members into that danger with you," Haymitch growls and Nash looks stricken.

"I understand that and when I think about it that way, I regret what I said but when I got up there, I just couldn't hold it in," he says as he runs his hand through his styled hair.

Before Haymitch can say anything, Coin enters the room and silence falls on all that are gathered. She stiffly makes her way to the front of the room, her hoard of bodyguards stumbling around her. As soon as she has sat down and is settled, Avoxes pour into the room with plates balancing on their arms.

Dinner proceeds without anytjing big happening although the longer Keeth and Cato are near each other, the more annoyed Cato gets. His face hardens more and more every time Keeth says something and Keeth spends all dinner gazing at me. Cato spends it by using any excuse to lean over close to me to talk and brushing his fingers on my hand or arm. The morphlings spend it by sneaking syringe needles into their arms and getting high. All the tributes spend it by discussing their competition and going over possible scenarios that they may face. Haymitch and I give them input every now and then but I mostly spend it sitting sullenly, drinking as the harsh reality that the little girl sitting next to me could die tomorrow.

Dinner ends with a flourish of plates being lifted from in front of me and being scuttled away to the kitchens. The music that has been filling the air with smooth and sweet melodies becomes livelier and I watch as people get up and start to mingle with each other. Desperate tributes all vie for the attention of sponsors and the sight of it makes me sick. Avanti and Nash get up to mingle, hoping to snag even more sponsors and Prim follows them even though being claimed by the head sponsor prevents any others from helping her out.

Effie stumbles to our table, her eyes red and the stench of alcohol hanging strongly in the air. Her wild eyes sweep our table, searching. Her shoulders slump and she lets out a mangled cry. "Where is Prim?" she asks and Haymitch motions towards the crowd of people, a frown on his weathered face as he studies Effie. Effie turns and her face softens, tears filling her eyes as she watches Prim smile and talk animatedly with a group of tributes and sponsors. Her shoulders start to shake and Haymitch pushes back from the table, grabbing her by the elbow and pulls her away from the table murmuring reassuringly to her.

My eyes go to Whytt and he is dumbfounded. I start to laugh at the look of surprise on his face, he turns to me. "I always figured that he hated her," Whytt says with a small laugh. I look over towards the shadows where Haymitch has pulled Effie to comfort her. From outward appearances, I could see how Whytt could think that but I know better. They may act like they don't get along but they have an unspoken trust and admiration between each other.

When Effie's shoulders start shaking uncontrollably, I look away to find Prim—my sweet, little Prim. I remember all the times I would bring game home and she'd look at it and I could just see in her eyes that she was trying to determine if she could save it or not. I remember all the nights she would sneak into my bed so that I could calm her after a nightmare. Tears gather in my eyes and to cover my emotion, I take deep swings of my drink until I have gained my control back. I feel Cato's eyes on me and I try my best not to look at him. He'd be fool to think I forgot what I saw the other night—him and Johanna. I know it shouldn't upset me but for some unexplainable reason it just does.

I feel his touch on my exposed shoulder and I stiffen as he tugs on my shoulder, turning my so that I am forced to face him. My stomach does a weird little flip, sloshing the alcohol that is in there around. His gaze is unwavering on my face and I look everywhere but at him, hoping that he'll just leave me alone for once.

"Katniss," he whispers as his eyes trace the planes of my made-up face. His hand comes towards my face and I flinch but he simply traces my jawline up and back behind my ear. Of their own accord, my eyes rise to meet his blue ones. It takes me awhile to focus on his but when I do, I wish I hadn't. They are an endless pit of mixed emotions: lust, sympathy, wanting, softness, and something dark and dangerous that I can't quite name. "I'd ask you to dance but there is no dance floor," he murmurs and I close my eyes as I breathe in his scent.

"Oh well," I whisper softly, "I would have said no anyway." He chuckles.

"Oh, I had no doubt about that," he says which makes me wonder why he would even want to ask in the first place. "Open your eyes," he demands softly and I surprise myself by listening to him. His eyes hold mine for a moment before sliding over to one of the other tables that is partially hidden in shadows.

It's there that I see them: Nettie and Slate from District 4 are going at it, both oblivious to the word whilst they are in the grips of their make out session. I can see Slate's hands grabbing and groping in intimate places and I can see a faint blush on her tanned cheeks. A zing of embarrassment shoots through me and I quickly look away only to find Cato looking at me in amusement.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I jump away from Cato at Whytt's angry question and Cato simply sighs.

"What do you think, Fire Girl? Should we give it a try?" he murmurs and my face heats up in embarrassment.

Before my body and alcohol can betray me, Whytt speaks up.

"I was just leaving," Cato says tightly and pushes away from the table. He looks down at me momentarily, his hand reaching out to play with a strand of my hair. "I'll see you tomorrow," he whispers but I don't respond as I intently study my clutched hands in my lap.

I can sense when he has left and I let my body sag in surprised relief. "Thanks, Whytt," I say as exhaustion pools through me.

"Don't mention it," he mutters and sits back in his seat. "Looks like Coin is finally making her rounds," he mentions and I look up to see her heading towards Prim. My body tightens in anger and anxiety. I don't like Coin being anywhere near my sister. After all, she is the one who sent Prim here as a way of punishing me. Just knowing that Coin is here makes me itch for my bow and arrow. My hands twitch uselessly by my side and I watch as Prim and Coin exchange a few words and then Coin moves onto the next person but my eyes stay on Prim.

She is frowning delicately and she looks to me, her eyes hard as she tries to figure something out. I smile at her and she schools her face into a smooth unrevealng mask as she trips her way towards me.

"Hey there, little duck," I say softly, reverting back to her nickname. A frown flashes across her face but is gone almost the instant it appears. She smiles tightly at me, emotion boiling in her eyes. I frown. "What's wrong, Prim?"

"I'm ready to go if you are," she whispers and I nod my head in agreement as I study her pale face.

Getting up, I turn to face Whytt. "We're heading back to the room if you would like to come with," I say but he shakes his head.

"I'm going to stick around here and watch Cato," he says as his eyes glare reproachfully at him. I frown softly.

"Don't do anything stupid," I murmur then quickly add, "for Prim's sake." Whytt nods curtly and I grasp Prim's shoulder gently as I lead her towards the exit. Leading us between groups of sponsors and tributes.

I spot Finnick looking especially handsome in his well-tailored suit and when our eyes meet, he winks at me and proceeds to push his way through the crowd towards me. I sigh in aggravation and try to find a way to escape him but it's no use.

"Hey there, girl on fire," he smiles dazzling at me and then at Prim. "Can I talk to you?" he asks, his eyes pleading. After a moment of hesitation I nod curtly. It he simply stares at me. "In private?" he prompts and I roll my eyes as I let him lead me from Prim.

"What do you want, Finnick?" I ask, aggravation seeping into my voice.

"To let you know that no matter what happens, I'm on your side," he says and I frown.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, puzzled.

"Just remember that," he says and then disappears into the crowd of people. Prim comes to stand at my side as I gaze uncomprehendingly at where he had been standing.

"What was that about?" she asks softly, pulling me from my trance.

"I have no idea," I admit then take a deep breath, pushing all thoughts of Finnick from my mind. Tonight should be all abut Prim. "Let's go," I say.

We are about to pass through the doors when I hear someone talking in the shadows. "I bet you think you are so fucking special." The voice is cold, hard, and unquestionably hateful. I peer into the darkness, hoping to find the speaker of such harsh words but I don't need to see the person to know who it is. My eyes find her and she steps into the glowing light spilling in from the hall.

"Why would I think that?" I ask bitterly as I think of all the horrible things that have happened to me. I don't feel special- I feel cursed, beaten, and broken. Prim hovers at my elbow and I gently move her behind me, so that Johanna cannot take her hate for me out on my sister.

Hatred fills my body as I look at Johanna. She is glaring at me, anger boiling dangerously in her eyes. My eyes get caught on something on her neck- hickeys and a few bite marks. Coldness seeps through my body as I imagine her with Cato. My eyes sweep the rest of her body, searching for proof of some sort of abuse but besides faint bruises that encompass her wrists, I don't see anything.

"You know, you can feel all superior all you want, Katniss, but just know that tonight he's going to be with me and not you. Why don't you think about that for a bit?" I know without questioning that she is talking about Cato and not Finnick.

I bite my tongue, not wanting to say what I'm thinking. That he'd be with me if I would let him, that he would drop her so fast if I gave him the time of day but Prim is beside me and I don't want to ruin our last night together by fighting with Johanna. "Johanna, you can have him," I say, my voice low and hard. Part of me feels free saying this while another part of me is screaming at me that I should step forward and just snap the little slut's neck.

She sneers at me. "Like I need you permission, Katniss," she says and then pushes past me roughly. I look down at Prim whose eyes are huge in shock.

"She really doesnt know what is good for her, does she?" Prim asks and I shake my head sadly as I watch Johanna walk up to Cato and cling desperately to his arm.

"I don't think she does, Prim," I say simply and Prim slips her hand into mine, giving it a small squeeze.


	10. The Beginning of the end

Chapter Ten—The Beginning of the end  
5  
Prim stands on her platform in her arena outfit, the dry desert air practically tearing the jacket from her small frame. The cameras get a close up of her and I can see that she is trembling and has tears pouring down her face. She looks over to her right and sees a career tribute smiling evilly at her.  
4  
Her face pales and whips forward. She eyes the cornucopia in front of her, deep in thought. Its black metal surface shines ominously against the burnt red sand.  
My thoughts turn desperate as her eyes lock on a back pack that has food spilling out of it. She positions her body, making her intent clear.  
3  
She looks to her left to Nash who shakes his head firmly, telling her no. Confusions floods her face as she tries to figure out what to do- run or get this food.  
2  
Her decision doesn't matter. With one huge, hot gust of wind, Prim loses her balance and falls off her platform. There is a huge, burning flash of light and then…  
1  
The gong goes off as debris falls from the sky and is followed by a horrid laugh that echoes nightmarishly in my head. I hear screaming and in that instant I realize that the laughter belongs to Coin.

I wake with a start from my nightmare, sweating heavily. Shrieks of terror erupt from my lips as I struggle with my blankets. My arms connect with something solid and I'm held down to the bed. I hear violent shuffling and a mew of protest. I whip my head back and forth, freeing my head from my sheets. I see Prim being drug from the room by peacekeepers.

"PRIM!" I scream and the sound of it is so mournful and heart wrenching that it cuts at my heart. I feel the rush of anger and I push against the peacekeeper that is holding me down. He loses his grip and I successfully connect my fist with his jaw. A muffled protest, a desperate scramble, a heart beating furiously, desperate to get to the only thing that matters and it all comes down to this: a peacekeeper pointing a gun straight at my chest.

"Try anything and I shoot you then go and shoot the girl," he says coldly and I fall to my knees. The masked peacekeeper laughs. "Sorry, honey, just following orders." A scream of rage rips out of me, leaving my throat raw and throbbing.

I know she's gone when the peacekeeper lowers his gun, motions for his buddy who is still cradling his face in his hands to join him at the door, and leaves, his friend following behind him. In that moment I realize that I am totally alone, that there is a high possibility that from now on, there will be no one else. The thought of it brings me down, crumpling in on myself as huge sobs wrack my body.

This thought reverberates through my head, splintering my skull with its pure form of rage and tragedy. My door opens and I look up to see my stylist.  
"Get the fuck out of here," I whisper but what my voice lacks in volume, it makes up for it in ice cold deadliness.

"Get off the floor," he says uncaringly, "I've got a big outfit planned today and we need to get started now."

I'm up so fast, he doesn't see me coming until I have the front of his shirt gripped in my hands, his feet hanging off the floor. "If you don't get out of here in five seconds, I will kill you," I growl into his face and he nods slowly. With a thump, I drop him to the floor and he quickly backtracks from my room. I get dressed without thinking, simply grabbing and pulling things on. I only take time to see that the sun is just rising before I leave my room.

Haymitch sits in the hall right outside my door and I almost trip over him. He smells of booze and lets out a loud snore as he wakes up. "Katniss?" he asks loudly, his hands swinging wildly as he searches for me in his drunken stupor. I sigh heavily. I don't have time for this. Without another glance, I take off down the hall. "I heard what happened," he slurs messily behind me but I don't stop. "I'm so sorry," he blubbers as tears overtake him.

I keep a steady pace, striding purposely for the training gymnasium. I know what I have to do but in order to do it; I'll need the perfect weapon and some catching up to do. The gymnasium is eerily quiet and empty but I prefer it this way because I not too convinced that I wouldn't kill someone right now. I've done it before and I don't have a problem doing it again. My eyes search and land on what I want—no, what I _need._

It shines under the fluorescent light, calling to me, begging me to use it. I slow my pace, approaching it as if it is a scared animal. I let my hand run gently over it, memorizing the cool touch of the metal under the pads of my fingers, the texture of the scratchy string between my fingertips. Next to it sits a metal quiver full of matching arrows with deadly sharp tip. I run my fingers over them, taking refuge in the sound of the arrows clinking together.

I take a moment to remember the last time I had a bow in my hand. It was in the arena—at the very end of it all. I was by the river, facing the boy who had just killed my best friend. I had taken my bow and beaten him until there was nothing left of the bow but splinters and string.

I pick the quiver up and sling it around my body and take a moment to just appreciate the long-ago familiar weight on me. Then I pick up the bow, testing the weight of it in my hands, practicing my grip on it over and over until it feels just right. I pull it up and pull the string back, holding it there- my muscles straining to get used to what used to be second nature to me. I let the string go and sigh in relief at the sound the string make as it flies through the air.

"I think you forgot something."

I whirl around to see Finnick, a teasing smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes on his tanned face. "Can I help you?" I ask moodily.

"Word about what happened is spreading like wildfire," he says simply.

"Okay, so? It's not like anything can be done to change it," I respond and my voice has an angry but dead sound to it.

"Is that so?" he asks, a knowing smirk on his face. "Then why exactly are you here?" I don't respond at first and his smile grows into a grin. "I thought so," he murmurs, his sharp eyes studying my face. "Listen, I came here to work off how utterly pissed I am right now," I grit out.

"Sure," he says as he advances on me. He leans close to my ear. "Don't cut me out of this, Fire Girl. I want to help you," he says, pausing next to my ear as if he is waiting for me to respond. When I don't, he turns and walks away.

I stare after him, unsure of how exactly he knows what I am thinking. As the door to the training center shuts, I slowly pull an arrow from my quiver and notch in my bow. With a steady hand, I lift my bow and take aim, breathing slowly. My muscles quack in misuse and the knowledge that I'm not as good as I once used to be angers me.

With a deep breath, I push that upsetting thought from my head and I let the peacefulness of the quiet gym settle around and within me and then I let my arrow fly. With a satisfying thunk it sinks it the right side of the human shaped target. I sigh in relief, loving the feeling of shooting but I frown as I study where my arrow has landed. I'm really out of practice. I notch another arrow and take aim and this time when I let it fly, it hits inside of the human shaped target. I get lost in my own world where all there is is me, my bow and arrow, and the target. When I finally hit the bull's eyes, I smile, imagining my arrow lodged in Coin's evil face.

"It's about time."

I groan and turn, my eyes searching for my enemy. I spot him, in the gamemaker box, watching me and I wonder how long he has been there for.

"Can I help you?"

"Probably but I know you won't," he says and I blush as I understand the vulgar meaning behind his words.

"Just leave me alone, Cato," I murmur.

"I'm sorry about what happened," he says and his words echo through the room. Shock fills me at this apology and I stare at him, trying to figure out his ulterior motive.

"For what?" I ask uncertainly, my voice cracking slightly.

"For more than you'll ever know," he says softly and this admission takes me back. I inhale sharply as my stomach flips. My body heats up and Cato continues talking. "But at this moment I am talking about how they took Prim."

"If you're so sorry, then just leave me alone," I mutter defensively, as I try to regain control over how I am feeling.

"I could never do that," he says and I roll my eyes. Silence falls and I turn to take aim at the target once more, imagining Cato's face as the target. Right as I'm about to let the arrow go he speaks.

"I know what you're thinking- what you're planning and I'm asking, no begging you to not do it," he pleads. Apprehension fills me. There is no way that anyone can know what I am planning. Am I really that predictable? I let the arrow fly and it sinks snugly in the bulls eyes. When I look up to respond to Cato, he is gone. My eyes find the clock on the wall and dread fills me. It will be starting soon. I gently set the bow down and walk away, promising myself that one day very soon, I'd make Coin pay.

* * *

When I enter the sponsor's room a little while later an awful hushed silence fills the room and everyone turns to look at me. I ignore them and seek out the screen. Caesar Flickerman is on it, wondering what the arena will look like this year. On the lower screen there is a countdown that has started. There is ten minutes until it all starts. I see Cato and Johanna at the bar huddled together, their back to the door, too busy talking to each other to notice me yet.

Whytt, Effie, and Haymitch are on the couch. Haymitch pats the seat beside him and I go to sit next to him. The air around him indicates that he has sobered up a bit.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" I grumble as I plop down on the couch. Effie is looking at me and even though her eyes are red from crying, I know what the look in her eyes mean- she doesn't approve of my outfit. Luckily for her she doesn't comment on it, instead she answers my question.

"Prim was the only one to be collected in such a barbaric and outrageous fashion," she sniffs scornfully, "and everyone is trying to determine what your reaction is going to be."

Anger floods me. "What makes Prim so special?" I ask, disgust dripping from my voice and Haymitch responds.

"You," he says simply then elaborates, "they didn't know how you would react to her leaving for the games," he says honestly and I have to admit that they are right, there was no way I was going to let Prim go without a fight.

"Ah," I say lamely and shift in my seat as anxiety burns through my body. My heart pumps frantically in a growing all-consuming fear. I know that there is no way that I'm getting through this without the help of alcohol. Before I get up to make my trip to the bar and to where Cato is, I turn to Whytt.

"Listen, things are going to be a little different now. I'm going to have to be around Cato a lot and I can't have you right beside me, always protecting me. He's going to be able to get away with a lot more now that Prim is in the games and we're going to have to let him," I say quietly, anticipating anger on his part but all he does is nod in understanding so I continue. "Do you mind watching from afar?" I ask and his eyes grow cold at my question.

"I really don't think that is a good idea, Katniss," he growls.

"I don't either but I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that Prim gets home safely and I think Cato will be more cooperative if you're not there pissing him off," I say hotly—mad, not at Whytt, but that it has to be this way

"Just be careful," he pleads softly.

"I just don't think that 'careful' will bring Prim home," I say sadly and silence falls over our little group while Caesar Flickerman announces the impending start of the Quarter Quell.

"With only a minute until the arena is revealed and the games start I'm sure nerves in the tributes are building..." Caesar says cheerfully and ice fills my blood.

"I'm going to get a drink," I mumble and stumble towards the bar. Red hot burning anger floods my mind as I watch Johanna and Cato tease back and forth. When Johanna reaches out to playfully touch his shoulder, I just about lose it. Shoving myself between them, I demand a drink from the Avox behind the bar then turn to Cato, cutting Johanna out of the conversation as if I hadn't even seen her there.

"Listen, Cato, I really expect you to be at your best. Prim's life is on the line and I'm sure you know how much she means to me," I say curtly and I see excitement flash in his eyes. The Avox slides my drink towards me and Cato pushes it towards me and waits for me to take deep drink before responding.

"Of course, Katniss. I'm going to do anything to ensure that she gets home safely as long as you are willing to do anything to get her home too," he says cryptically. Taking another drink, I search his face, trying to determine what exactly he means but his face is so schooled that I don't see any dark motive there although I know deep down that he must have one.

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the countdown starting. My face pales and I jerk around to face the screen, it flickers as it tries to connect with the cameras in the arena. With one last flicker, the feed connects and I watch in horror as tributes rise from the ground. Unlike the arena in my dream, this one is a frigid place that has biting cold snow flitting around in the air. The grass isn't swaying in the breeze like it should be which lets me know that it is frozen solid. It has a pale appearance to it and I know that it is covered in delicate frost. As the tributes rise, I can see the wind ripping at their thin jackets.

Just like when I was in the arena, they are spread out evenly in a circle around the cornucopia with supplies thrown about strategically on the ground. I skip over this looking for Prim. My eyes scan the tributes that are spread about shivering in the wind but the cameras are too far away for me to make anyone out.

This is it. This is the moment. This is what it has all boiled down to—all my protecting Prim hasn't mattered. She has still ended up in the arena, in harm's way once again. Either Prim will survive this initial bloodbath and live to fight for her life later or she won't. This could be the end of my sister. The one I was so excited about getting. I still remember the day that my father told me that mom was pregnant.

I knew something was going on just by the meal he packed us to take into the woods that day. The food this time was different—breads from the bakery, meat that wasn't bought from the hob, there was even a small dessert I saw my dad sneak into our lunch sack. When we slipped under the fence and the birds chirped cheerfully at us I just knew that this was going to be a good day. The wind was blowing softly through the trees, playing with my two braids that hung down my back. I was quite taken aback when my dad bypassed the tree he kept our hunting gear in but I trusted him so for once I didn't ask questions. He took my hand in his and lead my quietly through the forest to a clearing that I had never been to before. I wanted to cry when I saw what the clearing held: A clear pond that was so peaceful and beautiful that I burned its image into my memory so that I would never forget it. The sun shone down into that clearing, lighting it up as if it were heaven itself. We spent the day in the lake, him teaching me to swim and exploring all the life that lived in and around the lake. During lunch, he told me about my mom being pregnant and how much of a responsibility being a big sister was.

"You know, Katniss, she's just going to be a little thing—she's going to need a lot of help from you. She'll need someone to look up to so you'll have to be a good girl. Can you do that?" He had asked and I nodded my head eagerly—I would have done anything for my father and if he said that this little baby was something special, then who was I to question him?

"I swear I'll be good, dad," I had vowed and he had ruffled my hair and chuckled.  
"I know you will be, Katniss," he replied.

"And I swear that I'll protect her just like you protect me," I declared and he laughed again.

"Well, I'll be there to protect her but I guess I can share that job with you sometimes, Katniss. How about this, when I'm at work or not around, you protect her but when I'm around, let me do the protecting of both of you," he had suggested. After some serious thought, I had agreed. "You're going to be a great big sister, Katniss, I can already tell," he assured me and I remember thinking that I hoped he was right.

I'm pulled from my memory as the cameras zoom in for close up of the tributes. I see the careers then Nash and a few people down is Avanti. The camera keeps zooming over faces and I grow nervous, waiting for Prim. She is on the opposite of the cornucopia and this isn't a good thing. I have no idea how she is going to meet up with Nash or Avanti. Luckily Beaufort is next to her and he is eyeing the forest at their backs in relief. Prim on the other hand is studying the huge mountain that is at Nash and Avanti's back that seems to wrap around the whole arena and disappears behind the huge forest behind her. The camera zooms back out but I keep my eyes on the small speck that is my life—Prim.

The countdown grows closer to zero and my heart thumps panicked in my chest. My hands grow clammy and my stomach churns in anxiety as a huge gust of wind rocks Prim's small stature. Memories of my dream flood me and I hold my breath as she catches her balance, frowning at the intense wind. With a longing look at the pile of supplies before her, she turns to face Beaufort and then the gong rings and chaos ensues.

Beaufort immediately hightails it towards the forest and I can see that a few other tributes are doing the same. My heart fills with dread when I realize that Prim is frozen to the spot, her head turned as she watches people make a mad dash for supplies. My hands start to shake in a panic and I'm too engrossed in what is on the screens that when Cato takes my hand in his, I don't pull away. He rubs my hand and surprisingly I feel a little comforted.

Avanti has run for the mountains, running at a diagonal so that eventually, she will reach the forest and will only then have to meet up with Prim which is a lot harder than it sounds. Nash in the middle of things, grabbing supplies and defending himself against the big tribute from District 5—Torque, I think. Torque throws a powerful punch and Nash ducks, ramming his shoulder into Torque's chest, knocking him over. With a few well-aimed kicks at his head, Torque is out and with a frantic glance around, Nash finishes getting a bundle of supplies, shoving them in a backpack and then makes a beeline for the woods. He is heading straight for Prim but I can also see that Lametta is heading her way too, stopping momentarily to kill an old man who has decided to sit on his platform before moving on, her eyes set on tiny Prim.

I suck in a breath and Cato wraps his arm around me, pulling me close. It's not until I feel his solid body next to mine that I realize that I am shaking terribly. He rubs my shoulder with his big hand and can feel his breath on my hair.

"Katniss, breathe," he croons and I can see from the corner of my eyes that Johanna has stomped off in a fit. I don't have time for her or Cato though; my eyes are glued to the screen. My heart beats frantically and each beat screams for Prim to run to just run for her life. Clammy sweat breaks out over my body and knees grow weak. Luckily Cato's strong arms keep me from collapsing onto the floor.

Lametta is a few platforms away from Prim when, finally, Prim unfreezes and starts to sprint towards the woods. Lametta pauses briefly then, much to my relief, changes her direction heading towards the fight at the cornucopia. When Prim's figure disappears into the trees I relax just a fraction.

At the hearth of the arena, the war is still being fought. I watch as a young girl, probably fifteen or sixteen fights desperately to protect a little boy who has a bag of food clutched in his hands. His eyes are wide in terror as he watches the older girl fight Nettie. He doesn't even realize that Slate has approached from a different way, sneaking up from behind for the kill. The boy and the girl hit the ground at the same time. The young boy gets his neck snapped while the older girl gets punched, trips and hits her head on a steel weapon case that is behind her. Blood instantly stains the ground and I know without a doubt that she is dead.

Activity at the cornucopia calms down and I realize that the start of the game has claimed one more person—a young boy with skin the same color as Rue's lays dead on the ground halfway between the platforms and the cornucopia. The careers all stop what they are doing and look at each other, caution in their eyes as they try to determine whether or not they are going to keep their alliance going.

Eventually their eyes wander away from each other, darting towards the piles of supplies around them. Tinsel is the first one to let his guard down. With a significant glance at Lametta, he turns to dig through a nearby case of knives. Lametta in turn moves to stand behind him, making it clear that if anyone even tries to make a move on him, they'll have to go through her.

The cameras zoom out as the careers all turn from each other to rummage through supplies and transitions to a young girl who is stumbling as she scrambles up the harsh rock face of the mountain. Her breath is coming out in panicked huffs that produce white fog in the icy air. She grabs for purchase against the icy rock, scrapping her hands as she goes and breaking off finger nails but she doesn't stop. Behind her the girl from District 8 is frantically trying to get her, a murderous gleam the in her eyes. However, unlike the younger girl ahead of her, the girl from District 8 can't seem to find purchase with the crumbling face of the mountain and with one wrong hand placement, slips and falls back, rolling down the mountain side. When she rolls to a stop at the bottom, she lies there momentarily, stunned, before she sits up and looks around in a daze. Blood is slowly running down the side of her face which is turning green. She so her feet, taking time to choke up vomit before she stumbles through the brush in search of a safe hiding spot.

The sound of Caesar Flickerman's laughter fills the room as the screen transitions to a new tribute. "Well, it looks like that didn't work out for her," he says as the cameras focus in on a red hair girl who is quietly picking her way through the forest, silently stalking two tributes. I grip the forgotten glass in my hand when I realize who the teenage girl is stalking. Primrose and Beaufort are trying to silently make their way through the frozen woods and while Prim is doing a good job of it, Beaufort is failing horribly.

He keeps making scared whimpered noises and snapping every frozen branch under his feet. Prim keeps shooting him dirty looks but he doesn't pay any attention to her. He moans and shivers as he mournfully trudges after her all the while, Elicity stalks them both with a loathing look on her freckled face.

"I'm c-c-cold," Beaufort moans and Prims sighs as she eyes the foliage around her. I instantly know what she is thinking: insulating their jackets and pants with the leaves. It really is a smart move and it shows that she has learned from the training that has been provided for her.

Wind works its way through the trees, whipping at their flimsy jackets and Beaufort lets out a mangled moan. Prim's glare grows as she stomps towards him.

"Beaufort, I swear if you don't shut your mouth, I'll kill you right here and now," she whispers urgently at him as she shoves him back so that he is forced to sit a boulder that is sunken into the frozen ground behind him.

Caesar's laughter can be heard followed by some commentary. "For such a small and innocent little girl, she sure can act like her sister sometimes," he says joyfully and laughs. His laughter fades out as Beaufort speaks up.

"I just don't understand why Cato hasn't sent us anything," Beaufort whines and Prim shakes her head in disbelief. Beside me Cato lets out a sigh of disappointment in his brother.

"That boy is not going to survive this," he murmurs to himself but I ignore him, focusing on Prim's incredulous gaze instead of Cato.

"Are you kidding me? The games literally just started, Beaufort. Not to mention, we need to try to get by on our own for as long as possible because we're really going to need help later on when the games are almost over," she says reasonably but Beaufort simply pouts and shivers.

The cameras switch to show Elicity hiding behind some thorny Nightlock bushes at the edge of the frozen clearing that Prim and Beaufort have stopped in. She glances momentarily at the frozen berries and I find myself wishing that she would just pluck one off the bush and plop it into her mouth but she does no such thing. Instead, she frowns hatefully at Prim and pulls out a long bladed knife, eyeing it lovingly while every so often flicking her gaze up to Prim. A heavy weight settles in my chest as I watch this girl try to decide whether or not she wants to kill my sister. With a decided shake of her shoulders, Death settles in her eyes and just when she is about to leave the shelter of her hiding spot to attack, Prim speaks and Elicity stops.

"Now, if you'll just sit there quietly, I'll collect some leaves that we can put in our clothes to give us some extra layers. It should help keep us warm," she says and Elicity stops and pulls back behind the bush, putting her knife away she sighs. As the cameras start to pull away, I can see her starting to gather leaves to keep herself warm as well.

Panic takes over as the camera switches to the clearing that Prim and Beaufort are in. It continues to zoom out and a paralyzing thought pops into my head. _What if this is the last time I see Prim alive? _The thought is unwanted but it won't get out of my head. Instead it grows and grows until all I want to do is collapse on the ground and cry.

As Prim's figure grows smaller on the screen, my knees grow weaker and weaker and my breathing grows heavy. I don't want to lose sight of her for one moment but I also know that the less air time that Prim gets, the better it will be for her because then it will mean that she isn't getting herself into any trouble.

Cato tugs on me, turning me to face him as Nash appears on the screen, frantically crashing through the forest as he searches for his alliance members. I tear my eyes from the screen when Cato's hand comes into contact with my cheek. I look at him and in his eyes I can see the reflection of the panic that is written all over my face. His face softens into a look that I have never seen before. It takes me a moment to realize that it is compassion.

"She's going to be okay, Katniss," he says reassuringly but I can't bring myself to say anything in response. "Trust me," he urges and I'm surprised to find myself wanting to trust him—to cling to the small, fragile hope that he is offering me. He smiles softly at me and my heart gives a small flutter that breaks me from my trance. I pull away and look down at the drink clasped between my hands. I glance up quickly at Cato and give him a small, unsure smile and then turn and head back to the couch that Haymitch, Effie, and Whytt are sitting on. Whytt has a dirty look on his face and I know it's because of what just happened between Cato and me but I can't bring myself to care much about what Whytt thinks. I'm doing this for the safety of my sister and no other reason… right?

Ignoring Whytt, I turn my attention to the screen as Nash quickly but quietly stalks through the frozen forest searching for his alliance members while avoiding other tributes. It's not long before the camera switches to other tributes, not focusing on anyone for too long because nothing terribly exciting is happening.

Just as the sun is setting the cameras show the careers, packing up some of their gear and chatting as they start planning their strategy for tonight. Their choice to go hunting for tributes during the night is not a surprising one seeing as how almost every group of careers have done this since the beginning of the games. They decide to take to the mountains to try to find tributes figuring that it will be easier to find tributes there instead of tucked within the forest. I'm just glad that they are looking where Prim is not. Right as they set out from their camp at the cornucopia the sound of a canon goes off which has me panicking. I shoot to my feet, my heart pounding the blood draining from my face, as the cameras frantically switch to the tribute who has just died.

The girl from District 8 lies deathly-still in some frozen underbrush, her eyes open and looking unseeingly up into the camera. There is a pool of blood around her head but I'm not sure if she has bled to death, frozen to death, or if she died from her brain swelling- not that _how_ she dies matters to me. All that matters is that it wasn't Prim. My body relaxes slightly and I sigh in relief as I plop down next to Haymitch. He grabs my hand and I realize how horribly my hands are shaking.

"You need to calm down, Katniss," he murmurs. "This is just the beginning and we have a long way to go before this is all over," he says knowingly and I turn to look at him in disbelief.

"Calm down? My sister is in life threatening danger- how the hell am I supposed to 'calm down'?!" I yell at him and Effie looks at me in shock over my bad manners.

"You need to remember that we are all on the same side," Haymitch says coolly with danger glinting in his eyes. I can feel tears burning in my eyes and I'm surprised. I'm usually not an emotional person but all of this stress is too much. With an angry stomp of my feet, I turn to leave the room. I can hear someone get up to follow me but I don't stop until I hear Whytt's voice.

"Where are you going, Katniss?" he asks and I know that he only wants to know so that he can try to protect me from Cato. I turn to look at Whytt and I see Cato looking at me from the bar, a worried look on his face. I choose to ignore him and I focus my attention on Whytt.

"To go and _relax_," I say moodily, stressing the word relax sarcastically like a child. I turn to go and Whytt moves to follow me but all I want right now is to be alone. "I'm going to the spa, Whytt. Just leave me alone," I hiss and stomp from the room.

* * *

**AN: I know it has been FOREVER since my last update and I am SO SORRY! I started back at school and work and I'm taking five classes and student teaching and I am so busy, it is crazy! So updating is going to be far and few between but I will try my best to work on my story when I can. Once again, I am so sorry that it has been so very long!**


	11. Changes

**AN: I know, I know! It's been FOREVER and I am so sorry for that! But I am done with school and work for the semester so hopefully I'll get in some chapter updates while I'm off for Christmas. I'd like to thank Rayleen14 for inspiring me today to finish the dang chapter already and I'd like to thank 65253781273819 times over and over again sundragons9 for talking me through all my ideas and providing me some fantastic ideas. It's because of her that the chpater is this long and this amazing. Enjoy it and Merry Christmas!**

* * *

Chapter 11— Changes

Heat and fog swirl all around me and sweat slowly runs down my neck and in between my breasts. With an exhausted sigh, I lean my back against the rough rock walls of the sauna as I try to find a comfortable position on the smooth but hard wooden bench beneath me.

Taking a deep breath, I hold it as I try to cling to my sanity. It's almost impossible. My sister is in life threatening danger and all I can do is sit and watch. It went against every fiber of my being.

The Capitol's anthem blasts into the room, startling me and then Caesar Flickerman comes on and starts to announce all the tributes that have died today. There have been a total of five deaths at the start of the games with Districts 8, 9, and 10 being completely void of tributes. When the death count for today has been broadcasted, Caesar laughs and says "Don't forget to place your bets on tributes at the training center. May the odds be ever in your favor!"

Revulsion rolls through me at this unknown part of the games—it's sick, it's barbaric, it's not right. Silence fills the room and the awfulness of it has my anxiety building. What if Prim is being attacked right now and I don't know because I'm at the spa _relaxing?_ What if she dies and I don't find out until later? I'm just about to get up and leave when Caesar Flickerman's voice fills the room with step-by-step commentary. Luckily, he's talking about the person I care about most. With a mournful sigh, I settle down on the hard bench and lean my head against the equally hard wall, closing my eyes.

I hear that Prim and Beaufort have decided to keep moving and not find a place to settle for the night. I find myself agreeing with this plan of action seeing as how if they were to lie down, they'd have a higher chance of freezing to death—no, they should save sleeping for the day time. Caesar mentions the peculiarity of Elicity following the pair but not acting upon them. He promises to keep an eye on that odd situation and then he moves onto what the careers are doing. I let myself be comforted by the fact that they aren't heading towards Prim and I let my mind wander.

The fog billows around me and I'm glad that I am able to enjoy this with no one else around—even though I had expected it to be packed with Capitol citizens who don't have a care in the world. I sit tucked away in a corner that is hidden from the door, enjoying the wondrous feeling of the heat as it attacks my sensitive skin. But while the sauna is relaxing my external surfaces, my internal ones are in a jumble. I can't help but feel a burning in my chest as if Prim has already left my life forever. Unwantedly I feel the hot trail of a tear slipping down my cheek. I hurriedly wipe it away, afraid that someone will see me crying even though I'm alone.

Caesar's happy voice announces that the careers have stumbled across a new, helpless victim that is half frozen to death. They project the boy's final pleas and protests for his life before there is a sickening sound, followed by horrible laughter which eventually cuts off with the permanent sound of the canon. I shiver despite the overwhelming heat swirling around me and I get up to leave when I hear a voice.

"I came to check on you." His voice is soft and caring and something in me doesn't trust him for a moment. I turn, my eyes probing the fog trying to find him. Taking a step forward, I spot his foggy presence in front of the door.

_I am trapped_, the thought bursts in my head and my heart thuds in a small panic.

"Why?" The question slips carelessly and quietly from my mouth, putting me on the defensive instead of the offensive.

"Because I care about you," he says and steps forward until he's right on me. I expect him to touch me but he simply sits down and pats the bench beside him. I sit down too, scooting away from him as I do. He chuckles quietly as he slides next to me on the bench. It's then that I determine that he is only wearing a towel. Images of his magnificent body flash to my mind and my breathing stops. Memories of exactly what his body has done to me battle against the unwanted desire I feel.

"I have a hard time believing that," I murmur absentmindedly as my eyes trace his chest of their own accord and I can't look away. Sweat traces the sweet contours of his perfectly sculpted chest and my eyes follow the trail of sweat as it works its way down his defined stomach to be absorbed by the white towel. I realize just a little too late that I have been outright staring. With a deep inhale of breath I drag my eyes up to his face. Through the fog I can see amusement, lust, and a little bit of annoyance in his eyes.

"Why do you always have to try and push my buttons, Katniss? Why can't you just try to get along with me for once? You never know, you might be surprised at just how well we could get along," he says darkly and with promise. What he says doesn't scare me—instead it excites me. This betrayal of my body angers me and I grit my teeth together as I try to backtrack.

"Listen, Cato, I appreciate that you were there for me earlier today but our relationship is strictly business," I say firmly as I scoot away from him, running into the brick wall of the sauna room. _Crap._

Cato's eyes dance wickedly and he turns to scoot closer to me once again, his towel dropping so that his upper abdomen is exposed. My eyes flit down to trace the well-formed V that disappears beneath the towel. I swallow thickly and look up again.

"Our relationship doesn't _have_ to be business, Katniss," he says and scoots even closer. My eyes flicker about the sauna wishing that someone was there so this wouldn't be happening.

"I know it doesn't _have_ to be, Cato, but that's how I want it," I insist but he shakes his head slowly and chuckles.

"I don't believe that for one second," he comments as his hand drifts towards my thigh. I know that if he touches me, I'll be gone. Something inside of me wonders if that would be such a bad thing and then it's too late because his hand is gripping me, pulling me towards him. All thoughts seem to combust and I don't know who wants it more—him or me. I don't see it coming but suddenly we are kissing, our hands grasping at each other desperately. He moves, pinning me against the wall of the sauna. The rocks dig painfully into my back but I ignore it as I clench him closer to me. My despair over Prim seems to fuel whatever is going on between Cato and me. I can feel Cato's hands on my bare skin touching where they shouldn't be touching and while I revel in this feeling, in the back of my mind I am yelling at myself. I don't know how it happens but I end up straddling him and I can feel his hardness between my legs. The feeling of it should frighten me, should bring back all the horrible memories but it doesn't.

Cato grabs my hair and yanks it to the side, exposing my neck to his lips and teeth. A moan escapes my lips as his teeth graze my flesh and my hips move of their own accord, grinding me against his hardness. A low hiss escapes his lips and his hands grip my shoulders tightly. I lean forward to try to kiss him but his hands keep me from it.

"Katniss, stop," he murmurs huskily and shock reverberates through me, clearing my head in the process. _He_ is stopping _me_ from going too far? What has this world come to? How could I have fallen this far?

"I'm s-sorry," I stutter and clamber to my feet. Shame washes over me and I look down, my eyes locking on Cato's erection. He stands up, wrapping his towel around his waist.

"It's okay, Katniss," he murmurs and reaches a hand out towards me. I stumble backwards.

"I-I have to g-go," I splutter and turn and run from the room. I can hear Cato's protests but I don't stop. Ignoring all the Capitol Citizens that are getting their skin dyed, I hurry to the girl's dressing room. It's full of women in various stages of undress. They all look skeptically at me as I hurry past them, taking time only to grab my small pile of clothes as I rush to the elegant bathroom area. I ignore the huge mirrors that are hung above the marble countertops, not wanting to see myself after what just happened. I head straight into a bathroom stall, shutting the frosted glass door behind me. I'm about to break down when I hear the horrified gasps and shrieks of the ladies in the other room.

"This is the _girls'_ dressing room!" I hear a woman shout in her Capitol accent.

"I don't give a fuck," comes the response and I almost faint when I realize that Cato has followed me and he sounds mad. There are more shouts of anger and astonishment.

"If you don't get out of here, I will be forced to call the peacekeepers," another lady declares and Cato laughs carelessly.

"And what do you think they'll do? I'm a _victor_ and the head sponsor. Now everyone, get out now," Cato practically roars and silence falls as I hear hurried shuffling. I want to yell at them. Are they really that stupid that they think he has that much influence on people—I know the answer: he doesn't. Even if he is a victor and the head sponsor, that doesn't give him the right to barge into the girls' dressing room. Too bad the citizens of the Capitol are too stupid to realize this.

I hold my breath, hoping that Cato will see that I was not in the crowd of women and just leave but I have no such luck. I hear his footsteps growing closer to the bathroom area of the dressing room and then I see his shadow right outside my door. A little too late, I realize that I am still only in a towel when he bangs on the door. I jump and a squeak of fear escapes my throat.

"Katniss, open the door," Cato demands and I try to swallow my fear at the frustrated undertone in his voice.

"Cato, we don't have anything to discuss unless it has something to do with Prim," I tell him, my voice shaking.

"That's bullshit," he says and clears his throat, continuing in a much softer voice. "I think that what just happened in the sauna proves my point. Now please open the door, Katniss." His gentle tone and his pleading almost breaks down my defenses but I hold tight to my conviction.

"No," I assert as I drop my towel and scramble to get dressed. If it came to fight, I wanted to be dressed. I've got my undergarments on when he speaks again.

"Katniss, please don't make me kick the door down. I _really_ don't want to frighten you."

"Then go away, Cato," I reply as I struggle to flip my jeans right-side out. I mentally kick myself for not doing this when I had undressed early.

"You leave me no choice then," he says and pauses for a moment before there is the horrible sound of glass shattering. I flinch and drop my jeans as the glass cuts at my skin and tinkles to the floor. I look up at him in shock and take a step back, lodging glass into my bare feet. I gasp at the sharp pain and sink to my knees, cutting them in the process. I cry out and try not to move. I hear a sigh and the click of the door being unlocked. "I guess I didn't think that one through," he mutters sullenly but I don't look up as Cato's feet crunch over the broken glass and he scoops me up. He lets out another sigh as he feels my trembling body against his. "I'm not going to hurt you, Katniss," he says softly and I stare moodily at the empty dressing room as he gently sets me on a plush couch.

"You keep saying that but look at me, Cato," I say angrily and look up at him. He's looking at me, at my injuries and I'm surprised that I see regret on his face.

"Katniss, I really am trying but you make things so difficult for me," he says miserably as he moves towards the door, sticking his head out to order someone nearby to get some medical supplies from the nearby clinic. He turns from the door to look at me. His eyes trace my face and I can see that he actually cares for me and that fact sickens me—how can he care about me and still have done what he has done to me? "We need to talk," he states and crosses to sit beside me on the couch that he has laid me on. He reaches forward to caress my cheek and I sigh.

"What is it Cato?" I ask, hoping to get this over with sooner rather than later. Cato's hand drops and he sighs.

"You need to stay away from the gym, Katniss," he states quietly, his eyes holding mine. I can see that his eyes hold a warning for me—I need to keep this conversation quiet. I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously.

"And why is that?" I ask, trying to paste an innocent look on my face.

"Coin isn't stupid—she'll figure out what you're planning and I don't want her coming after you. I won't be able to protect you from her," Cato whispers and I can see how earnest he is.

"I wasn't aware that I was planning anything," I mutter while thinking that I'm not the one that needs protecting when it comes to Coin. Cato opens his mouth to respond when there is a knock on the door. With another sigh, Cato goes to retrieve the medical supplies that he had sent for. He returns and kneels before me, pulling out gloves and bandages. "_You're_ going to bandage me up?" I ask, doubt clear in my voice.

"Yeah, why not?" he asks as he inspects the tweezers and medicines that were sent.

"You're not a doctor, Cato," I say and he smiles a cocky smile that flips my heart.

"No, Katniss, I'm not," he agrees slowly and teasingly. "I was, however, trained in the academy to deal with injuries much more severe than this," he says and with that comment, I am forced to let him take care of me. He is surprisingly gentle, making sure to let my pain medicine settle in before getting to work on the glass imbedded in my skin. The constant plinking of glass shards being dropped into a bowl soothes me and I study Cato's face as he works. "Katniss, quit staring at me," he mumbles, a slight frown tugging at his brows as a smile tilts his lips. The look is utterly heart stopping and I ignore his request and keep studying him. All he does is simply shake his head and continues to pull glass from my wounds. "You're going to need some stitches," he says simply as he digs in the bag for the tools he will need. "This may sting a little," he murmurs and I can't take it.

"I don't get it, Cato. How can you act like this sometimes and other times treat me like I'm some sort of animal?" I ask, my voice shaking and strained. Cato sighs and his shoulders sag.

"I don't know," he admits, sounding totally broken but not meeting my eyes. Instead, he starts stitching me up. I let the subject drop and lean back to stare up at the ceiling. It's not too long before Cato leans back; taking his bloodied gloves off and declares that I'm all stitched up. I'm surprised that my wounds don't hurt at all and it's then that I realize that he has used Capitol medicines on me and that my pain is literally all gone and that my wounds will heal much more quickly than if my mother had used her homemade tonics on me. When I look at him I can tell he's on the verge of saying something that I may not want to get into right now. I open my mouth to stop him but he puts a finger to my lips. "Katniss, I don't know why I am the way I am—I've been this way for forever. I swear to you that I am trying my hardest to change but sometimes, I just can't control myself," he confesses and runs his hand through his hair in aggravation. He gets a wild look in his eyes and grasps my hands tightly. "Don't you see how I am struggling, Katniss? I'm doing this all for you—I'm trying so hard for you," Cato declares passionately and I'm almost at a loss for words.

"I can see it," I admit softly and relief floods his face but something in his eyes still has me building walls against him. "Cato, I can see it but I can also see the Cato I am so used to right beneath the surface. I can see you trying to hide who you really are from me." Anger flashes across his face, proving my point.

"Why does my dark side have to be such a bad thing, Katniss? Why can't you turn it into something good? I know plenty of woman out there desire me for my dark side," he says, his face flushing in his anger. My heart beats a heavy, panicked rhythm in my chest but I try to ignore my fear and be honest with him.

"But I'm not those women, Cato. They don't know or understand what it's really like—I do. I had to live it every day in District 2 and it's not hot and it's not pleasant. I can't just forget about everything you have put me through especially when I see that you've just barely got that bad side of you under control."

"Katniss, it's not even about me changing. I've always been this way; I've just had to repress it for the academy—for my training. They trained me to ignore my compassion to revel in my dark side. I've had years of that being instilled into my brain—it's going to take a long time for me to undo the damage that has been done to me," he says softly, looking forlornly at the ground.

I hate hearing about this side of him—I hate feeling pity for him. I can barely stand my unwanted feelings of attraction for him and seeing him now as a victim instead of as the bad guy doesn't help either. "Why do you want to change now? I just don't get it, Cato. You've been so bad and so mean and then suddenly you're all about changing when you would never change before. Why is that? Why couldn't you do that when I was living with you? When I was begging for our children's lives?" I challenge him and he shakes his head sadly.

"I realize that my behavior has been absolutely horrid, Katniss, and I can't change what I have done no matter how I much I regret it," his voice cracks and he takes a moment to compose himself. I eye him suspiciously, not being able to trust him at all. "All I can do is try to change for the future," Cato pauses here to run his hands down his face in distress. "When you left, I was in such a panic and all I could think was to get you back. When you didn't want to come back, I was hurt and angry and I did things that should have never been done but once I realized that you would never come back to me the way I was acting; I worked on changing—on being a better person for you." He looks up at me, his face hopeful and charming. "You admitted it to me before—you've seen how I'm trying to change. Why isn't that enough? Why won't you agree to come home with me, Katniss?"

"Cato, the things that have been done cannot be undone nor can they be forgotten. I don't even know if I will ever be able to heal from what has happened to me. Being with you isn't good for me—physically or emotionally," I confess quietly. Cato jumps up in excitement and I flinch into the sofa, shielding myself from him but all he does is sit beside me and lean towards me eagerly.

"Katniss, you don't know that," he states, his eyes glowing. "You haven't given this new me a chance. I know if you do, we'll be happy," he urges and his face lowers towards mine.

"Cato, don't—" but my protest is cut off with the gentlest kiss he has ever given me.

"Katniss, please give this a chance," he murmurs as he places soft kisses on my lips. My mind spins as he deepens the kiss. Thoughts of him changing and us living happily together battle with the memories of all the pain and the beatings he has given me. I get lost in my thoughts and when I surface I realize that I am kissing him back.

_Is this what I want?_ I can't answer that thought honestly when he is kissing me like this—so sweet and gentle—so much like Peeta's kiss. This thought has me jerking away and shooting to my feet. I let out a small hiss of discomfort at the light burning in my feet from my injuries. I quickly grab a nearby robe and with one last look at Cato, I run from the room.

I run without truly knowing of where I am headed. Cato's disappointed face burns into the back of my mind as feelings of guilt and confusion attack me. I bypass the elevators and run for the stairs, taking them two at a time as I race towards my room. I don't stop running until I crash through my door and throw myself on the bed. My stylist peeks from my bathroom, giving me a disapproving frown but one look at me and he nods his flamboyant head once and leaves my room, closing the door behind him.

I fight the urge to cry as I stare angrily up at my ceiling and it's not long before I doze off to sleep. When I wake, I am startled to find Cato sitting at the end of my bed. I don't feel frightened of him though—just surprise at seeing him here. I sit up and lean my back against the head board, rubbing my eyes.

"What are you doing here, Cato?" I ask and he turns to look at me, his eyes glowing in the dark. It's then that I realize how dry my mouth is. I try to swallow but it's no use. I get out of bed to head to the bathroom but stop when Cato rises too. I turn to look at him and he steps forward, invading my space. I want to ask him what he is doing but I can't get my voice to work. Cato reaches for me and traces the closing of my robe. Our eyes lock and something electric grows between us. I let him slide his hand between the lapels of my robe and he drops it towards the tie. He watches me as his hand tugs on the tie that keeps my robe together. It falls open but Cato still doesn't look down. He pushes the robe back until it slides down my arms and then puddles on the floor at my feet. Without thinking, I reach behind myself and quickly undo my bra and let it join the robe on the floor. When I stand topless in front of him, he lets out a pleasant sigh and finally drops his eyes from mine.

"You are so lovely," he states as his hands trace my body. I shiver against his warm skin and he chuckles, pulling me to him. "Oh, Katniss," he murmurs against my hair and kisses the top of my head. I run my hands under his shirt and across his stomach that leaps at my touch. He sucks in a breath and my heart thumps heavily in my chest. "Katniss, I want you," he states lustfully and I nod mutely as I inhale his wonderful scent. "Say it," he orders and pushes me back to look into my face. I frown, still unable to speak, and try to get closer to him again. "No, Katniss, say it," he demands and I know that if I want to take the next step, I'll have to admit out loud that I want it.

"Cato, please," I croak as he gently pushes me back towards the bed.

"Please what, Katniss?" he taunts and shoves me back so that I land on the bed. He smiles down at me and I feel like I swallowed a ball of sand. I squirm uncomfortably and he chuckles. "All you have to do is admit it and I'll give you what you want," he says, his voice deep and thick with lust. The sound of it sends butterflies coursing through my veins. I watch in fascination as he slowly tugs his shirt upwards, exposing his perfect body. I feel wetness between my legs and I can't take it any longer.

"Cato, I want it. I want you. Please stop teasing me," I beg and he smiles brilliantly at me as he falls down on top of me, resting on his elbows as he laughs happily down at me.

"God, I love hearing you say that," he whispers and drops his head to kiss me. I wrap my arms around him and pull him down so that our bodies are crushed together. He pulls back again and I pick my head up to try stay in contact with his perfect lips. "Say it again, Katniss," he demands and I obey. With a growl, Cato rips my underwear from my body and quickly gets rid of his pants. My breathing picks up until I am almost panting, my body rising to meet his excited member. He groans at the contact. "Katniss, stop or this isn't going to last long," he mutters and sexual frustration floods my body, making me even wetter.

"Cato, I want you," I grunt out as my body rises to meet his again and he growls.

"You're going to be the death of me," he proclaims as he pins me gently to the bed so that I can't do anything that would make this escapade end prematurely. He takes his time, paying attention to almost every part of my body. I squirm and beg but he doesn't listen to me, ignoring me as he goes about pleasuring me until I feel like I am about to explode. Right at the edge of my climax, he eases himself into me and lets out a lustful moan. "Oh God," he grunts as he acclimates to the feeling of being inside of me. I squirm underneath him, desperate for the friction that will give me what I want.

"Cato, please," I moan and he chuckles seductively. I grab his neck and force him down to meet my lips.

"Gentle, Katniss," he murmurs and moves slowly inside of me. I want to explode—for this wonderful torture to end. I try to move myself to help pick up speed but he drops his hips, pinning me to the bed and shoving himself deep inside of me.

"Now," I beg him desperately. "Please, Cato! Do it now," I plead and he laughs once again but gives me what I want. There is nothing barbaric about it—just sweet and slow sex between two consenting adults. I've never experienced anything like it and I close my eyes, trying to savor the feeling. My muscles tighten and Cato grunts as he picks up speed. All at once my muscles release and my eyes shoot open.

Shock. Shock and pleasure is what I feel. Shock because when I open my eyes, there is no Cato—there is just air. My legs go limp as my climax finishes and I'm breathing heavily. I look around and I'm stunned to realize that I am alone in my room and that it had all been a dream. Panting, I sit up in my bed and study the twisted sheets at the end of my bed. Tears sting my eyes as longing fills me—longing for what I had just dreamt about. Jumping from my bed, I rip my robe from my body and quickly throw some clothes on. Without a backward glance, I leave District 12's apartment and wander the halls aimlessly, listening to Caesar Flickerman's commentary on the games. I must not have been asleep for long because it is still in the dead of night in the arena and nothing is going on. The careers are trolling for victims but are not anywhere near anyone.

I'm not too surprised when I find myself at the gym. I head straight for the archery station and get lost in the pull of the string and the thunking of the arrows as the land snugly in their target. I don't stop. Not even when my arm starts to shake from the strain or when the sting of the bow rubs my fingers raw and they start to bleed. I keep going, listening to the commentary of Flickerman and getting lost in my fever for revenge and pushing all thoughts of Cato from my mind. I hear when Beaufort breaks down and refuses to take a step further. Prim is forced to make camp a few hours before sunrise in a clearing. Luckily, no one in her area is moving about so while I don't agree with this plan of action, I don't get upset. When thoughts to Cato start to seep into my mind, I start firing off arrows at an unnatural rate of speed and before I know it, Caesar is announcing the dawning of a new day in the arena. I breathe a sigh of relief as I lower my bow and let it fall to the ground. Without a backward glance, I turn and leave the gym and head straight to the bar in the sponsor's room.

Ignoring everyone, I stalk to the bar and wait while the Avox pours me a drink. I can feel eyes on me but I ignore them, fearing that if I give them my attention that they'll know what almost happened between Cato and I in the sauna—what I had later dreamt about happening. Shame colors my face as guilt fills me and my thoughts turn to Peeta. He really deserves so much more. Taking a chug of my drink, my eyes get caught on a new electronic board that has been placed in the room.

It looks like a rolling blackboard but instead of a blackboard it's a huge screen. It is glowing faintly but the screen is black. I step forward and gently touch it. It hums to life, showing me a list of names. The list is of all the sponsors. Some of the names are blinking with one word next to their names... _pending_. I see that Keeth's name is flashing and I gently lift my hand to touch his name. The screen flashes and brings up his profile. It tells me who he is, a little background information and information about the people he is sponsoring. Under his list of tributes is a list of items. The first is "matches" then under that is the blinking word "blanket".

With a small shrug, I go back to the main list of names and eagerly press on Cato's name. What I see is shocking. Instead of Cato sending something to Prim or Beaufort or anyone like that I am disgusted to see that he is sending gifts to the careers. _Why would Cato be sending the careers something_? I find myself wondering. I scan down the screen and am puzzled and quite frankly angered to see that he is sending the careers a feast- roasted turkey, desserts, soups, breads, and even two bottles of wines. This was going to cost a fortune simply because of how much Cato was sending.

Behind me, I can sense someone and I quickly back out of Cato's screen and school my face as I turn to face the unknown person. My breath catches in my throat as I take in the sight of a tired-looking Johanna.

"You look like shit," I croak out as I take in her mussed hair and the circles under her eyes. My gaze then drops to her lips that are swollen and I can see that they are busted.

"If I look like shit, you look like death, Katniss," she hisses. I nod, giving her that. I haven't showered in at least twenty four hours and I'm running off of an hour at most of sleep. Johanna and pushes past me to start touching the board to get updated on her tributes. With an unconcerned shrug, I slink over to the couch and flop down, sighing in relief. With a quick glance at the screen to see that the cameras are showing the careers trekking back to their camp, I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

I'm not sure how long I'm out for but the next thing I am aware of is Cato's face floating above me and an angry Whytt standing beside me. I frown, blinking away the images of yet another erotic dream, and try to gather where exactly I am. It only takes me a second to realize that I had been using Cato's lap as a pillow. I shoot straight up and scramble away from him. He simply chuckles and stretches.

_How long had I been out for?_ I wondered to myself, _and how did I end up cuddled next to Cato?_

"I told you not to wake her," Whytt grumbles moodily.

"That's rich. I figured that you would have objected to her using me as a pillow," Cato replies. The sound of his voice has my heart thumping and my cheeks flush as images from my dream play in my head.

"Not that I particularly liked it but she needs her sleep. It's not like anything is going on anyway," Whytt insists.

"No, there's not but I know she'd want to be awake to be with her sister," Cato argues.

Whytt ignores Cato's remark and stalks off. I stare at the floor, trying to get my thoughts under control.

"Thanks," I mumble softly. Out of the corner of my eyes I can see his brief, curt nod telling me that he has heard me. I stretch and rub my eyes, yawning as I do so. "So, what have I missed?" I ask tightly but don't dare look at him—I'm too embarrassed about what happened in the sauna and what I have dreamt.

"Nothing. A lot of people sleeping. Prim is about to wake Beaufort up to get moving—Nash is almost right on top of them. Hopefully they run into each other," he says and I nod. He scoots a little closer to me and lowers his voice. "Katniss, listen, about last night—"

His scent invades me and I stiffen as my body reacts. I cut him off. "I really don't want to talk about it," I say stiffly in utter mortification and he sighs.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm aware that you don't feel any differently towards me and I know that nothing has changed," he whispers.

_If only that were true_, I lament to myself. Our talk in the dressing room had changed things drastically. No matter how much I fought it, I now saw Cato as not only a bully but also as a victim—someone I could relate to. "Well, thanks I guess," I murmur, "Now can we drop it, please?"

"Just one last thing that I really think you should know—I still want you. I want to be with you. I want you to come home with me. Please, Katniss," he pleads and I shift my attention to look at him.

It really is a pretty speech and if things were different between Cato and I—if our history was different—I probably would fall for it completely. If Cato wasn't Cato, things would be so different. I would have no trouble going home with him but he has done what he has done and no amount of sweet talking can change the past. "I just can't, Cato. Listen to me very carefully; what happened between us last night was just a moment of weakness and nothing more," I whisper urgently back to him and I can see him clench his fists together. I choose to ignore this show of temper and go on: "I can't go back there, Cato. There are too many bad memories there—just the sight of you brings back bad memories," I say unflinchingly as my mind drifts to the two small graves back in District 12. Cato nods disappointedly before muttering something that sounds remarkably like _I'll just have to try harder, _and scooting away to give me space on the sofa. Turning towards the screen I lock eyes with Johanna who has a furious glare across her face. We stare at each other for just a moment before she turns her back to me and I look to the big screen to see the cameras focusing in on Prim who is swinging her leg back to kick Beaufort in the leg.

"Come on, Beaufort, it's time to get going. You've slept long enough. We really need to try to find Nash and Avanti," Prim whispers but Beaufort doesn't move under the blanket of leaves they must have used last night to try to keep warm.

"Beaufort, come on! We've _got_ to go! I have a bad feeling that someone is watching us," Prim whispers once again but just a little bit louder. Beaufort moans but doesn't open his eyes. Beside me Cato lets out a deep sigh of disappointment. With one well aimed kick to the back, Beaufort is up and the cameras frantically switch to show a very pissed off Elicity but they don't stay on her for long. My heart drops and my face drains as Beaufort starts cussing and charges at Prim.


	12. The Games go on

Chapter 12—The Games go on

With a slap. That's how it ends. With the ringing of a slap making its way through the cold air of the arena, laughter fills the Sponsor's room as Beaufort stares dumbfounded at Prim who has a furious scowl on her face. Beside me, Cato covers his face with his hands in shame.  
"I swear we aren't related," he mutters to himself as he shakes his head in disbelief. On the couch across from me, Whytt and Haymitch are laughing like hyenas, trying their best to smother their laughter. Cato glares at them which sets them off once again. Smothering a smile of my own, I turn my attention back to the screen.

"Was that really so hard, Beaufort?" Prim asks, and folds her arms over her chest as she glares up at Beaufort. Beaufort doesn't respond and simply reaches up to rub the red imprint on his cheek. "Now are you ready to move on? We've got to get going—I have a bad feeling that someone is watching us." Beaufort shrugs his shoulders and finds a nearby stump to sit on.

"It's just the cameras, Prim. You know that millions are watching so it makes you paranoid," he says and shrugs as he stretches. "Now, what's for breakfast?" he asks and looks around as if there should be some feast hidden in the frozen forest.

"You're kidding, right?" Prim asks in disbelief, and Beaufort simply stares at her. Prim lets out a strangled, incredulous laugh. "Beaufort, this is the games. If you want breakfast, you have to catch it." Beaufort frowns and looks around the forest as if he could spot a breakfast roll scampering through the trees.

"Well let's get on it then," Beaufort stands and randomly starts to head out of their small clearing.

"Hold up!" Prim exclaims in hushed tones. "Let me climb a tree and see if I can spot anyone nearby." Prim turns and starts to scale a tree that I think looks too skinny to be trusted. She is a quick climber and is at the top in almost the blink of an eye. That's when it starts. In the sponsor's room, I can hear the whistling of wind but looking at the screen I don't see it. The trees are deathly still. Prim frowns and turns, the camera showing what she sees. A huge gust of wind is tearing its way through the forest and is headed straight for her. She has time to let out a small gasp before the harsh wind hits her tree. The tree bends over, thrashing back and forth. It's hard to tell, but I can see Prim clinging desperately to the skinny upper branches of the tree. Suddenly, I can see her falling and sickness rushes through me as I watch my sister fall through the air. Images of Rue's death haunt me, and I picture my sister's lifeless body on the forest floor. Halfway down the tree, Prim's desperate hands make contact with a branch, and just as soon as the wind storm had started, it ends.

"Are you okay?" Beaufort shouts up to her, and I hold my breath waiting for her reply. The few seconds that it takes for her to reply seem to drag out into eternity, but finally I hear her mangled affirmation that she is okay—just a little shaken up.

I release the breath I hadn't been aware that I had been holding, and across from me Haymitch and Whytt let out some tense laughter. I look to them and am surprised to see that Keeth has joined us.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" he asks, and I nod my head unconvincingly. "You're as pale as a ghost. When was the last time you ate?" he questions me, but I simply wave my hand dismissively at him as I turn my attention back to my sister who is now safely on the ground.

Beaufort is rushing to her side. "Prim! Are you okay?!" he exclaims as he slides to a stop beside her. "What was that?" he asks, and the cameras focus to show Prim's pale and frightened face.

"I don't know," she replies honestly, but I do. It's the Capitol's attempt to kill my sister.

"Well, did you get a chance to see anything?" he asks, and Prim shakes her head.

"No, but you remember the plan, Beaufort, we are supposed to keep traveling North. Nash is supposed to travel South and hopefully we'll run into each other," Prim says, and Beaufort nods as he looks around the clearing.

"Well then, let's get going," Beaufort declares as he takes off in the wrong direction. Cato sighs, and Whytt and Haymitch start to laugh again. I can hear people around us join in and it makes me smile, knowing that Cato probably wants to shake some sense into his brother.

"Beaufort, that's East- not North," Prim calls after him, and Beaufort stops, his face coloring in shame.

"No, Prim. I think I know which way is North," he scoffs, and Prim looks like she is at a loss for words.

"Close your eyes," she says after a moment and steps forward.

"What? No. That's stupid," Beaufort hedges and takes a step back.

"Just do it, Beaufort. If you can still say that this way," Prim gestures East, "is North after I spin you, then that is the way we will take," Prim reasons, and with a big huff of air, he does so.

Prim takes him by the shoulders and starts to move him so that he is turning in circles. She lets go and steps away, placing her body so that it is pointed North. I know why she has done that. She's hoping that he will think that she has not moved and will use her body position to determine where his North was.

"Okay, open them and tell me which way is North," she challenges, and Beaufort glares at her before looking uncertainly around the clearing. His brow furrows, and he reluctantly points in the direction of Prim.

"That way is North," he says quietly, looking down at the ground. Insecurely

"If you say so," Prim agrees reluctantly and turns, hiding her smile from Beaufort. Behind her, as the cameras zoom out, Beaufort lets out a relieved sigh and follows after Prim.

As the cameras zoom out, Cato silently gets up and joins Johanna at the bar. They start to talk in hushed whispers, and I try to keep my attention on the girl from District 10 who is trekking her way down through the frozen mountain. Her foot hits some ice, and then she is tumbling head over heels, hitting rocks and frozen brush as she goes. My eyes watch the screen but my ears strain to the hushed argument that is going on behind me. The girl on the screen gets up, scratches marring her face. Her shirt is ripped from behind her right shoulder and goes down the center of her back. I wince, knowing that it could be devastating to her if a sponsor doesn't send her a new shirt.

"It's bullshit, Cato!" I hear the exclamation but don't turn. I don't need to look to imagine how Cato is taking being talked to like that. I hear his tense whisper but can't make out the words. "Come on, you can't be serious!" Johanna exclaims so that everyone can hear. Across from me, Whytt glares at the two of them, dragging his eyes ever so slowly to stare at me. I simply throw my hands up.

"I don't have anything to do with whatever is going on back there," I protest, and both Haymitch and Whytt shake their heads in disbelief at me.

"When it comes to Cato, Katniss, it always has to do with you," Haymitch butts in drolly, and I roll my eyes.

"It does not, " I mutter sullenly.

"Does too," says a new voice, and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"No one asked you, Finnick," I reply flippantly without turning to look at him. He laughs. Jumping over the back of the couch, he settles down next to me and smiles.

"I know, but that hardly matters to me," he replies and his smile grows. "So, what _are _we talking about? I'm guessing that it has to do with Katniss and Cato," he says, and I slap my hand to my forehead and groan.

"Why would you say that?" Whytt asks, his face fighting the smile that wants to break free.

Finnick laughs, "It's not that far of a conclusion to jump to- the only thing that _anyone_ talks about is Cato and Katniss," here he pauses and screws up his face as he mimics the ladies of the Capitol. "_Will they _ever _get together?! Will he kill her? Will she kill him? Are they seeing each other? Will they end up together? Was she pregnant? Is she pregnant? Does he love her? Does she love him?_ You all get the idea," Finnick says and shifts his attention to the screen which is now showing Marble tucked away in a tiny cave-like enclosure with a sleeping bag.

The whispering behind us continues, and everyone turns their attention to me, watching to see how I will react to Cato and Johanna talking to each other. My face flushes, and I quickly try to divert the attention. "So Finnick, where have you been all morning? Everyone has been here for a while and you're just now showing up? Your poor tributes!" I shame him. and he shrugs.

"I was doing something," he murmurs evasively and stares at the screen which flickers to Avanti shivering in the cold as she tries to find her way to her alliance members. She has frozen tears stuck to her cheeks, and I glance around the room, searching for Keeth. _He should be helping her!_ I think but he is nowhere in sight.

I look down at my clasped hands in my lap, wishing that there was something I could do to help. A clearing of a throat has me looking up at Cato. He smiles down at me and offers me what he is holding. I look to find a plate with an omelette on it.

"No thanks," I murmur in embarrassment, knowing that every single person in the room is staring at us and listening to every word that will be said between us.

"Katniss, just take it," he urges quietly as he glances around the room, frowning at all the people who are staring. I can feel the tension mounting around us and as much as my pride doesn't want to accept it, my mind doesn't really see why not so I slowly reach out and take the plate, our fingers brushing slightly. I drop my eyes and smile my thanks to the floor as the room seems to almost collectively sigh, relax, and go about their business.

Cato stands before me for a moment, and I know that he is probably glaring at Finnick for taking his spot. After a few seconds, though, he gives up and wanders back to the bar. I feel relieved but disappointed at the same time but I don't show it. I simply opt to pick at my meal in silence only looking about momentarily to see what is going on in the games before I drop my head once again. I can feel eyes on me but I fight the urge to find out who is - or are- staring at me.

Chatter fills the air as the the screen flashes a brief Capitol propaganda commercial to fill the standstill that is going on in the games and that is how the rest of the morning goes- with flashes of games and propaganda to fill the air. I'm about to go out of my mind and have to get up to walk about the room. I place my plate on the floor, and stand, my eye snagging on that board once again, and I turn to Haymitch.

"Hey, what's up with that thing?" I ask, and Haymitch grunts as he shifts his body to look at what I am motioning at.

"Oh, that thing just shows who is sending what to the tributes in the arena," he explains and then turns his attention back to his bottle of alcohol.

I frown, not quite understanding how that would make sense with what I saw earlier. It doesn't take long for the realization to sink in- Cato has played me. The board showed that he was sending gifts to the careers while he was telling me that he was sponsoring Prim. My body stiffens, and I can sense Cato looking at me but I ignore him. I can see from the corner of my eye that he is coming towards me, and I just know that I have to get out of there. I turn to go, and Cato leaps forward, grabbing my arm.

"Katniss, what is wrong?" he asks, and I try to move away from him, but he won't let me go. "Where are you going?" he asks, and I can tell by the tightness in his voice that he already knows and disapproves of where I am going. I glare up at him and bite my tongue. His face is soft, and I can see the concern in his eyes. It makes me sick. I jerk from him and stomp from the room. I can hear someone calling Cato's name and turn to see him trying to make up his mind- attend to business or attend to me. It doesn't matter because his internal battle has given me enough time to get to the elevator. When I turn to watch the doors slide shut, I can see him running to catch the doors. I grin victoriously as the doors slide shut in his face. I fidget as the elevator glides effortlessly towards the ground floor. I want to groan when it stops to let some Capitol men with gold skin on. When the elevator reaches the bottom floor, I try to stifle my groan when I see Cato's huge form waiting for me right outside- he must have used the stairs.

Cato steps forward to make sure the doors don't slide shut and he stands to the side to let the two men from the Capitol sashay their way out of the elevators. Cato turns to me and my body reacts without my permission. I start to tremble as I remember the beatings I had gotten from him for doing things similar to what I had just done.

"I'm not going to hurt you, dammit!" he exclaims in aggravation. I keep silent, not daring to press my luck. Cato sighs and steps into the small elevator. His scent fills my nose, and I stiffen. "Let's go back to the Sponsor's room, Katniss," he says quietly and reaches out to touch my arm. I flinch away from him and dart from the elevator. "What the hell is your problem, Katniss?" he hisses quietly.

"You're my problem, Cato."

"I haven't even done anything!" he yells and throws his hands up but I turn my back to him, heading to the gym. Cato is hot on my heels, protesting as he goes. "Katniss, please stop doing this. You are going to get yourself killed if you keep coming here," he pleads but I don't give him my attention. Slamming through the gym doors I stomp towards the archery station but pull up short when I see that the place where the bow should be hanging is empty. Hot anger floods through me, and I turn to face Cato who looks surprised about my turnabout.

"Where is it, Cato?" I ask, my voice deadly and dangerous. Cato looks dumbfounded as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "Answer me, dammit," I growl, and he throws his hands up.

"Where is what?" he asks and looks behind me, trying to figure out what I am talking about.

"Where the fuck is my bow, Cato?" I scream at him, and his eyes snap to mine, fire dancing wickedly in his blue eyes. His face is set in hard lines and, his jaw clenches as he struggles with his temper. I see his fist tremble and I know that if we were back in his home in District 2, I'd be out cold at his feet right now. My hands go to my throat as I remember him choking me.

"I didn't touch your stupid bow, Katniss. It was probably Coin. I told you she wasn't stupid," he says tightly and turns to leave.

"I don't believe you!" I scream and grab his arm to jerk him around to face me. My voice echoes in the room around us and is quickly joined with the echoing sound of a slap.

I don't know who's more shocked—him or me, but I do know who is more pissed. Cato reaches up slowly to rub his cheek as murder burns in his eyes. "Lately, I haven't given you a reason not to trust me," he says, and I laugh cruelly.

"Then please explain to me why you are sending the careers a damned feast? I know you must feel some sort of connection to them but still, Cato. You promised me that you would take care of my sister," I shout, and pain seeps into my voice at his betrayal.

Cato grinds his teeth together, and he starts to shake in anger. "What the hell do you think I am doing, Katniss?" he demands, and I experience a moment of confusion—it was painfully obvious what he was doing- wasting his sponsor money on the careers. "You know what? Never mind. Go on and keep thinking the worst about me but, unlike you, I know what I'm doing, Katniss," he says and stomps towards the exit.

"Cato, stop!" I yell angrily after him. "I'm not done with you!" I shout but it's no use—he doesn't stop. I stumble after him. "Can't you just explain it to me?" I call out after him and then hesitantly add a quiet: "please, Cato."

Cato stops and runs his hand through his hair. "Christ, Katniss, you sure can drive a man insane," he says and turns to look at me with a pained, longing look on his face. "Katniss, can't you just trust me?" he asks and I know that this is some sort of test. I could just let this go and believe that he has Prim's best interest at heart, or I could demand an explanation, letting him know full well that I don't trust him.

"I have to know, Cato," I whisper quietly. My shoulders slump forward and I study the ground. "This is my _sister,_" my voice cracks, and I stop to compose myself. Looking up, my vision blurs, and part of me can't believe that I am showing him this weakness. A tear slips down my cheek, and I can see his eyes following it, his brow furrowed. "I _have_ to know, Cato," I murmur, and he nods.

"I understand, Katniss," he says and pauses to look at me before going on. "I know how the careers work- or most of them. I was one, after all. When we get in that arena," Cato starts, and I frown as he refers to himself as one of _them_ presently- he _was_ one of them- he isn't now. "When we get in there, we get a complex. We feel like no one can touch us- after all, we've been trained for this all of our lives. If I send them this feast- they'll eat it all right without question, but they will also drink everything I send them, and hopefully they slip up and get drunk and make a mistake," Cato says and shrugs. "I suppose it sounds lame, but I have more than enough money so I don't see why I shouldn't try it."

I don't know what to say. I hadn't expected this. I don't say anything and neither does he. We simply look into each other's eyes as we try to work through our own thoughts. Finally, he breaks the silence as he walks towards me. "Didn't expect that, did you?" he asks with a crooked smile. I shake my head and let out a shaky laugh.

"No, I didn't," I admit. Cato stops and stands before me. He slowly reaches up to touch my shoulder. I shudder at the feeling of his hot skin on my cold skin. It's then that I realize just how cold and run down I feel. His hand drops towards my elbow, rubbing my skin on the way down.

"Katniss, go take a relaxing bath and get some rest. You can't stay up forever," Cato says, and I don't flinch when he reaches up to trace the circles under my eyes.

"I don't want to miss anything," I murmur, and Cato's eyes drop to my lips. He shakes his head just slightly- so slightly that I'm not sure if I even saw anything- it's like he is trying to clear his head.

"I know you don't, Katniss, but you have to take care of yourself. Please, just do this for me," he begs, and I slowly nod my head and let him lead me from the room.

* * *

The fog swirls around me as I try my fastest to dry off to join Cato in the other room. I had convinced him to stay in the main room of my apartment while I bathed- I wanted him watching the games so he could come and get me if Prim came on. He had actually put up quite a fight when I had asked him to stay- he told me that he didn't want to break my trust. I had told him that if he didn't stay, I would just follow him back to the Sponsor's room.

I drop my plush towel to the floor and look around for my clothes. I pick my discarded clothes off the floor and lift them to my nose. I quickly let them drop, my face scrunching up at the horrible smell. Dancing over the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, I fling the door open and am halfway through the door when I realize that someone is in the room.

"Oh Christ, Kat!" Cato exclaims, and I squeak as my eyes dart for something to cover myself with. I ignore the fact that he used his nickname for me and try desperately to cover myself with my hands before I realize how silly I look and let my hands fall and stand before him naked. His eyes grow big and dark, his mouth drops open. I fidget under his gaze and clear my throat, breaking him from his stupor. Cato quickly turns his back to me and rubs his eyes nervously. "I'm so sorry!" he exclaims.

"What do you want, Cato?" I ask, my voice sounds harsh from nerves, and I slowly scoot towards the bed to grab the comforter from it. Struggling, I fight to pull the blanket from the tightly made bed.

"I was coming to tell you to get back in the tub- that you hadn't relaxed long enough," Cato says and crosses his arms. "I am sorry, Katniss," he says and I laugh.

"No you aren't," I tease and then blush.

"No, I suppose you are right," he agrees, laughing. "I'll let you get dressed- remember, you are supposed to be getting some rest so make sure you're comfortable." I don't say anything as he leaves the room, I simply beeline it for the closet and grab the first sweat-looking clothes that I can find. Before I leave, I take a moment to try to compose myself. My heart is beating quickly and my face is flushed.

"Katniss!" Cato's calling has me running from the room and into the living room of the apartment.

"Is it Prim?!" I ask desperately, my eyes going to the screen, but they are showing the careers. My eyes seek out Cato's and they are full of questions.

"I was just making sure you hadn't died of embarrassment or something," he teases, and I drop my eyes. I can see that he is still aroused even though he had tried his best to hide it. Cato looks down and groans. He quickly shoves a pillow onto his lap and squirms in his seat. "Sorry," he mutters, and I pull my eyes away from him.

"Don't do that, Cato," I complain, and we lock eyes as we both try to figure out what exactly I'm talking about- him making me worry about Prim, him being aroused, or him hiding his arousal. "You scared me," I say, trying to clear up the confusion.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Katniss," he says, and I blush.

"That's not what I meant," I say stiffly, and he laughs.

"Just go get into bed, Kat."

My eyes dart to the screen and get caught when I see the cameras flash from Nash to Prim. I see that they are walking right towards each other. My shoulders sag in relief. I know that Nash will try to protect Prim- Beaufort wasn't doing a good job of that.

"Katniss, bed," Cato orders, and I look at him, a frown on my face.

"How do you expect me to sleep, Cato? My sister is in the games."

"You're just going to have to do it, Katniss. You need sleep."

My face slips into a pout. "Can't I just lay down out here? I don't want to leave Prim," I tell him and he shrugs.

"You can do whatever you like as long as you lie down," he says and scoots down to the end of the couch and pats the pillow on his lap, motioning for me to lay down next to him.

My heart thumps heavily in my chest, and my eyes slide to the other couch. I really should go lay on that couch- especially with what happened today and yesterday, but I suppose I could give him this- after all, he is trying to get my sister home to me. Cato simply sits on the couch and watches me, letting me make my own decision. With a small sigh, I slide onto the couch next to him and let him drape a blanket over me. I suppress a moan from escaping my throat when I feel his hands move through my wet and tangled hair. I turn my attention back to the screen just in time to see and hear Beaufort start yelling that he sees Nash. Prim quickly picks up a frozen rock and throws it at his head.

"Shut up, Beaufort!" she whispers furiously. Prim frowns as Nash grows closer. She stops walking and lets him meet her. "Where is Avanti?" Prim asks with only a slight tremor in her voice.

"I was hoping that she would be with you," Nash confesses, a deep frown on his face. Prim's shoulders slump, and I can tell that tears are threatening.

"We need to find her, Nash," she declares, desperation clear in her voice.

"We will, Prim. I promise you. Look, it's still late morning. We have all day to look, and I won't rest until we find her," he says, and Prim smiles at him teary eyed, a look of relief on her face. Her shoulders straighten, and I can see that finding Nash has taken a load off of her shoulders.

The cameras flash to show Elicity, frowning angrily at the threesome.

"I bet she's regretting not getting rid of those two earlier," Caesar comments and laughs. "I honestly don't know what she was doing. She followed them around for long enough! This is the games, and she needs to get to killing if she expects to win. She must have some sort of strategy. I have seen plenty of tributes stalk their prey but nothing quite like this," he says, and the cameras switch to Marble who is hunting down a snow rabbit to eat.

I turn my body to lay on my back, and I stare at the ceiling. Cato abandons my hair and chooses simply to run his hands lightly across the sides of my face. I study his face and frown slightly as I think about our fight in the gym.

"Cato, why don't you want me killing Coin?" I ask quietly. He gasps and looks around the room.

"Katniss, this is not something we should be talking about here," he says sharply. I sit up so I can look him straight in the face.

"No, it's probably not, but I want the answer. It doesn't make any sense, Cato. You told me that she was selling you to the highest bidder. She made you a sex slave just like your grandpa did. Why do you want her in power?"

Our eyes lock and he stares at me like he's trying to figure something out. "I just don't want you to be in danger," he confesses

.  
"Why?" I whisper. "Why do you want to keep me safe? Why do you want me to come home with you? Why do you want to take care of me? You told me before that it's not because you love me, Cato," I pause here and take a shuddering breath. "That is true, right? You don't love me do you?"

Cato shakes his head and exhales heavily. "Love? What is love? I honestly don't know what it is, Katniss. No one ever showed me. I was taught to squash any sort of positive feeling," he says and closes his eyes. "I don't know what love is, Kat, but I _must_ love you. Why else would I be trying so hard? Why else would I not be able to move on from you? I could have almost any girl out there but I don't want them, Kat. I just want you." He looks up at me desperately, looking to me for the answers, but I don't have any. I know what sibling love is but other than that, I'm not quite sure either. I try to compare my feelings for Peeta and Cato to each other but my tired brain refuses to do the work. Cato sighs and shakes his head disappointedly again. "Katniss, please just lay down and go to sleep. We don't need to figure this out now."

I surprise us both by doing just that. Just as I'm on the verge of sleep, I feel the couch shift under me and then a slight pressure on my lips. I smile slightly. "Thank you, Cato," I murmur sleepily, and he laughs.

"For what?"

"Oh, you know," I respond vaguely, and drift off into pleasant dreams.


	13. Dinner on the Roof

Chapter Thirteen- Dinner on the Roof  
When I wake up, I have a moment of panic. I don't know where I am exactly, and I don't know how long I have been out for, and most of all, I have no idea what is going on with Prim. My breath is coming out in sharp gasps and I shoot up in bed. I'm in the room assigned to me by the Capitol. _How did I get here?_ My question is answered when a warm hand reaches out to lie on my thigh. I look over to see Cato asleep in the bed beside me. He is fully clothed and looks like he has shoved himself as far from me as possible without being off of the bed. He is lying on his stomach and his long arm stretches across the bed to rest upon my upper thigh. I let his hand be, and my eyes go to the bedside table but the clock is blinking as if it had been unplugged. I frown and my eye catches on a slip of paper that has been placed underneath it. I lean over and stretch my arm to grab the paper with my fingertips. Cato mutters in his sleep and moves closer to me on the bed. I hold my breath and wait for him to settle before I investigate the paper. With a deep sigh, he settles his head in my lap and starts to snore lightly. An unwanted smile breaks across my face, and I unfold the paper, being careful to keep the crinkling down so it doesn't wake Cato. What I find puzzles me.

_I couldn't have you toting that big bow and arrow around._

_Go to the second "training area" and dig around to find your new weapon of choice._

_-F_

I stare at the paper in shock. So it wasn't Cato who stole my bow- it was Finnick if the F at the end of the note was any indication. Apparently, he didn't approve of my murder weapon, and I wonder which weapon he finds more appropriate. My eyes trace the note, and I frown. _The second training area? What the heck is that? _Everyone knows that the tributes only have one training gym. I shake my head and tuck the paper into my pocket. Cato protests in his sleep, muttering nonsense to me. I smile and drag my gaze to the window. It looks like the sun is just beginning to set. The sky is filled with wonderful oranges, and I wish I could just sit here and enjoy it but Cato is in my bed and Prim is in the arena. I sigh and move to get out of bed but Cato tightens his grip on me, pulling me closer.  
"Are you okay?" Cato murmurs, his voice is thick with sleep, and the sound of it has my heart tightening in my chest.  
"Yes," I whisper, and my body trembles, betraying how I feel about him. I squirm under his hand, thinking about if he were to slide his hand up a little further.  
"Sorry," Cato mutters and pulls his hand away, turning so that he is on his back, he stretches. My eyes trace him and get caught on his morning erection. One glance at it, and I bound from the bed.  
"What happened?" I question and Cato sits up, totally unaware of my preoccupation. Cato blushes and he has the propriety to look guilty and remorseful.  
"I put you in bed," he says simply, not looking at me. I stare at his crotch.  
"Well, I can see that," I murmur absent-mindedly. I jump when Cato jerks his head up to look at me. My face flushes a deep red at being caught staring at him. "So, uh, how exactly did you wind up in bed with me?" I ask, dragging my gaze away from him. I study the odd design of the wallpaper on the wall.  
"Katniss, why do you look so guilty? It's not like we did anything," he says and lets out a nervous laugh. With a sigh, he explains himself. "I just missed you, Kat. I wanted to lay with you and I guess I fell asleep- I didn't mean to."  
"It's okay," I say and fidget. "Can we please get out of here?" I ask, motioning towards the door. I want to get out of here. Being next to the bed brings back the memories of the dreams I had of him, and it makes me want to do something I'm afraid I will regret later.  
"Yeah, sure," Cato says and gets up. "I'm sure you want to get back to Prim, huh?" He looks at me expectantly, waiting for my answer but my eyes are glued to his waist. He glances down and groans. His hands shoot down to try to hide his erection. "I swear I've never apologized this much in my life," he mutters and shoots me an apologetic look. The look on his face is enough to make me swoon. I inhale a breath and hold it, trying to think of something to say. When nothing comes, I turn on my heel and leave.

Cato doesn't come out of the room for a long time. I'm sitting on the couch watching the games as I wait for him to come out. Luckily, when I turn the games on, it shows Prim. It looks as though her group has decided to take a short break before sunset. They are roasting a rabbit and a squirrel and going through the supplies that Nash had gotten them. Prim is pleased with the one knife that he managed to snag and a rubber band that could be used to make a sling shot- all they would have to do is find an appropriate stick.  
"Sorry I couldn't get you a full one, Prim. I saw one but it was too far in the cornucopia for me to get to it," Nash apologizes, but Prim shakes her head at him.  
"Don't worry about it, Nash," she says, "it shouldn't be that hard to find a handle to this. After all, we are in the middle of the woods."  
"What'd you get me?" Beaufort asks, and Nash looks momentarily stunned.  
"I wasn't aware that you really had any special talent," Nash confesses bluntly, and Beaufort blushes.  
"Still," Beaufort protests, "I think I should have something that I could defend myself with," he says as he eyes Prim's knife.  
"Beaufort, you aren't getting her knife," Nash says coldly.  
"Why not? It's not fair. What if I get into trouble?" Beaufort presses.  
"I have an idea," Prim speaks up, and they both turn to look at her. "Let's just have a contest- whoever is better at throwing the knife can keep it," she reasons. I frown, not liking this idea. I honestly have no idea if Beaufort is good at throwing knives- I don't remember seeing him around the knives, but I wasn't exactly paying attention to him either. Beaufort frowns and assesses Prim, trying to determine if he's being tricked into something or not.  
"That's fine with me, but you should know that I am fairly decent at throwing knives," Beaufort says, and Prim nods.  
"That's good, and if you're better, then you should have the knife anyway," Prim says, and part of me admires her unselfishness while the other part of me wants to shake her and scream that this is the games, and she needs to worry only about herself.  
"Okay then, you can pick the target and lets do the best out of three?" Beaufort asks, and Prim nods as she looks around the woods around her. Nash simply shakes his head in disapproval and moves to tend to the cooking food.  
Prim motions towards a thick tree beside them. Its trunk is scarred with thick knots. She points out one in particular. "This one. Try to get the knife in the middle- best out of three." Beaufort nods and offers her the knife.  
"No, you can go first," she insists, and Beaufort shrugs and gets into position, shoving his glasses up his nose as he does so. His first throw lands him right on the thick ridge of the knot. It's not a bad throw, really, and the sight of it actually has me worried. The second throw lands the knife right on the outer edge of the inside of the knot. My hands start to sweat, and I can see Prim frowning. His last throw has me sighing in relief as it misses the tree altogether.  
"I told you I wasn't _that _bad," Beaufort says smugly.  
"You did a very good job, Beaufort," Prim says quietly and politely. She quickly retrieves the knife and then lines up to throw. Her first throw lands just outside of the ridge of the knot, the next lands just inside, and the last hits bull's-eye.  
"This is bullshit!" Beaufort yells angrily. Nash clambers to his feet, clearly not trusting Beaufort's anger. "How the hell am I supposed to protect myself?"  
"You won't need to protect yourself, Beaufort. We're all in this together. We'll protect each other," Nash says firmly, and Beaufort rounds on him.  
"Yeah? And how long will that last exactly, Nash? We all know that there's only going to be one victor. Are you going to lie down and let me kill you when it comes to it?" Nash doesn't respond, letting Beaufort know his answer. "Prim, don't fool yourself into thinking that you are safe. He'll turn on you too." Prim's eyes grow big, and she looks like she is about to cry.  
"Beaufort, that's enough. I would never lay a hand on her. I would never hurt her. She's just a child," Nash says gruffly, and when Beaufort opens his mouth to argue further, Nash interrupts him. "You say one more thing, and I'll break your scrawny little neck. I won't have you upsetting Prim or drawing attention to us. Either you're part of this alliance or not. Decide now and if you want to leave, I'll let you."  
Beaufort snaps his mouth shut, his face turning red in anger, and he stomps off to sit beside the fire. Nash smiles gently down at Prim, and she returns his smile.  
"You'll be okay, Prim, I promise," he says. She doesn't say anything. Instead she opts to reach out and grab his hand, giving it a small squeeze before she moves to retrieve her knife from the tree. I silently thank that I had put in all that effort to train her outside of the tribute training. I gasp as realization sets in. This is what Finnick was referring to- the "second training area" was the roof. It's where Haymitch, Whytt, and I would train Prim by ourselves. I get up, wanting to go straight to the roof but the screen shows Prim so I sit back down to watch. She joins Beaufort by the fire, and they sit there silently for a bit.  
"Beaufort, I promise that I will try my best to protect you," she whispers softly. "No harm will come to you from my hand," she vows, and Beaufort smirks just a little.  
"Thanks Prim," he says softly, and the cameras start to transition to show Elicity throwing up. I don't know what she got into, but I can't help but smile. I don't trust that girl at all- I can't figure out why she just follows Prim and their group without ever doing anything. The cameras zoom out, and I can see that beside her is a pile of toxic berries. I laugh, imagining the awful stomach cramps she must be having and the diarrhea that is sure to follow.  
There is a knock on the door, and I frown, trying to think who would be coming here. With one last laugh at Elicity's condition, I go to the door and open it to find an Avox. He has dark hair and eyes that stay lowered.  
"Hi," I say breathlessly, and he nods his head curtly. Silence settles, and I shift from foot to foot, unsure of what he wants. "Can I help you?" I ask awkwardly, and the boy finally lifts his gaze to look at me. I don't know what else to say to him but luckily I don't have to say anything. He slowly pulls something from behind his back and offers it to me. I reach forward and grab it, frowning. It's a cold, black square. It looks like there is a screen on it, but I can't figure out how to work it or what it is for. "What am I supposed to do with this?" I ask, and the Avox shrugs his shoulders and walks away.  
I stare after him a while, unsure of what to do. With a confused shake of my head, I shut the door and return to the sofa to watch the games. I lay the odd item next to me and watch as the cameras draw to the careers who are getting ready to go out hunting for the night.  
Laughter fills the darkening night air as the group talk about their kills and their favorite kills and tributes from previous games. Right as they are about to leave their camp, the sound of high pitched beeping fills the air. The careers stop, looking about in confusion. The cameras pan, and I gasp at all of the baskets that are floating down to the careers.  
"What the hell is this?" The camera flashes to Lametta's angry face. Next to her, Tinsel pats her shoulder in a calming way. She jerks away. "Why the hell are they sending us stuff? We don't need help!" she yells. "We are _careers,_ and the games have barely started- we don't need help!" she exclaims, and Tinsel jerks her aside to talk to her. The cameras follow, and everyone watching hears as she gets scolded for snubbing the sponsors.  
It's at that moment when Cato walks in, a grin on his face. His hair is wet, and he's wearing different clothes. I frown at him. "Sorry, that cold shower didn't have quite the effect I had wanted it to- I had to resort to other measures..." he drifts off as his eyes catch the screen where the tributes are now tracking down all of their baskets and opening them. "Huh, looks like they got my feast," Cato murmurs but I'm not paying attention. My mind is still thinking about his cold shower and his _other measures_. My face flushes, and I move my eyes to the screen. Torque tears into a basket and shouts in joy as he pulls out some roasted chicken. Next, he pulls out mashed potatoes. At the bottom of the basket, he pulls out a single slip of paper.  
"Hey guys! Listen!" Torque shouts, and he waits for the others to turn their attention to him. "We got a note from a sponsor," he pauses here to let out a low, impressed whistle. "Looks like we all caught the eye of Cato," he says with excitement, and the other tributes all look pleased.  
"Well, what does it say?" Nettie asks as she tries to peer around Torque to see the paper. Torque frowns and squints at the paper.  
"Looks like we have quite the support team in the Capitol. Cato just wanted to let us know how much he believes in us and wanted us to have something show us his appreciation," Torque says and smiles smugly.  
"Well, who cares why it was sent!" Slate says as he pulls out a bottle of alcohol. "Let's just enjoy this while we can!" he cries, and the others slowly agree.  
"Well, it looks like you were right," I murmur and chew on my lip as I watch Slate rip the cork off of one of the bottles of wine and tip it back to take a deep swig. Cato smiles and turns to me, a slight frown on his face.  
"You need to get dressed," he says, and I glance down at what I had worn to bed.  
"I suppose you're right- we should get back to the Sponsor's room," I mutter, but he shakes his head.  
"We're not going back there," he says calmly, and my heart flutters nervously.  
"Where are we going?" I ask, getting up from the couch and step away from him, not liking how mysterious he is being.  
"Relax, Kat, I'm not going to kidnap you," he teases with a laugh, but I still don't relax. "Fine," he says when he realizes that I'm not amused, "I have arranged for us to have a nice, relaxing dinner on the rooftop- another reason why I took so long to get out here," he says with a smile but I don't return it.  
"I can't Cato," I protest even though this could be the perfect chance to go to the roof and search for whatever Finnick has hidden for me up there.  
"And why not?"  
"I can't leave Prim."  
"Ah, I figured you would say that," he says with a sly smile and then motions to the black object left forgotten on the sofa. "That's why I had that sent to you- it's a tablet that will bring you live footage from the games."  
"But we should be in the Sponsor's room," I protest again.  
"And why is that? You only need to be where I am. All I have to do is pick up a phone and make a call and I can get anything sent to Prim," he says and smiles because he knows I've run out of excuses. I shiver at his tone- it sounds so much like how he used to talk to me back in District 2. It's a lot of danger, some sexiness, and a whole bunch of confidence.  
"We really shouldn't," I argue even though I have a feeling it's useless. Cato's face falls and he looks hurt. "Cato, it just isn't proper," I say nervously.  
"Please, Katniss, no funny business. I swear," he vows, his eyes grow big and innocent. I don't trust them for a moment so I'm surprised by the words that come out of my mouth.  
"Fine, just give me a moment-" my surrender is interrupted by Caesar Flickerman's voice.  
"What a shame!" he cries and both Cato and I turn to look towards the screen. My stomach turns at the sight I see. Avanti is curled in a ball on the frozen ground. Her lips are blue, and her hair seems to be frozen solid. A hiss escapes me at the horrible sight, and Cato sucks in a shocked breath. "Now Ladies and Gentleman, we have seen many of tributes die from exposure to the elements but from the polls, I know that a lot of you are rooting for her. We all just have to remember that this is the way of the games no matter how much we like a tribute." Cato curses darkly.  
"Well, what the fuck is Keeth up to? Does he not see his tribute dying?"  
I simply shake my head. "This is the way of the games, I guess," I murmur, and he looks at me in shock- like he can't believe that I would be saying this.  
"Come on, Cato. We all know that not everyone gets stuff sent to them even if they are dying- only the tributes who have a good shot of winning get stuff," I say, and Cato shakes his head in refusal.  
"Well, it's not going to happen like that this time," Cato says darkly as he heads for the door. I wonder why he's acting like this. Is it to break down my defenses? Is he really changing? Does he actually care? "Go get ready- pick out something nice but casual, and I'll meet you up on the roof. Don't forget your tablet when you leave," he says and crosses towards the door. I watch him go and call out to him right before he gets to the door.  
"Where are you going?"  
"To talk to that piece of shit," he growls and disappears through the door. I don't need to ask any more questions to know who he is talking about- Keeth.

The air on the rooftop is nice and cool. I take a moment to appreciate the feeling of it on the skin of my face. It blows my hair around, and I reach up to rub the stands between my fingers. It feels soft, but that's probably because my stylist had been waiting for me when I had gotten back to my room- he had taken care of getting me ready for this dinner with Cato. He had put me in a red, flower print dress that makes me look extremely girly. I hadn't even bothered to argue- there were more important things to get upset about in life.  
With a sigh, I drop my face and suck in a surprised breath at what I see. There is a small table in the center of the rooftop and lights strung all around. Candles scatter the ground and throw flickering light around into the darkness. Unease flows through me at the sight of it- it all seems too romantic. I can't stay, and I know that.  
I cross to the table to put the tablet down so that I can get to looking for whatever Finnick left for me up here. Approaching the table, I can see that something has been scattered on top of it. On closer inspection, I realize that they are flower petals. I pick one up, rubbing my fingers over its smooth surface, and it's then that I realize that they are primrose petals. I don't know how to feel about it. I have something growing deep within my stomach, but I don't know if it's anger or appreciation. I do know that I need to make this fast so I can make my escape- this dinner looks far too romantic for it to be safe. Letting the primrose petal fall from my hand, I glance around the rooftop and repeat Finnick's note to myself.

_I couldn't have you toting that big bow and arrow around._

_Go to the second "training area" and dig around to find you new weapon of choice._

Dread settles in my stomach as I look at the setup Cato has had done. Hopefully, they haven't uncovered whatever Finnick has hidden for me up here. I don't even know where to start. Where would someone hide a weapon on the rooftop, and what weapon could it be? Would it be bigger rather than smaller? Something big but discrete? I have no idea, but I figure that I had better get a start on looking before Cato arrives. I start by looking under the table, thinking that whatever it is might be strapped underneath. When I find nothing there, I move to the mini-building that holds the staircase. I look in there and even check around the doorframe to see if whatever he has provided me is hidden there but no such luck. With a huff, I sit at the table and look around, repeating Finnick's note over and over in my head. Doubts plague me- am I even in the right spot? I have to be. I don't have a clue where else he could mean. There has to be a further hint somewhere in his note. I look around while I think, eying the vegetation that lines the perimeter of the roof. The leaves blow softly in the wind, and in the back of my head, I wonder who upkeeps the plants and when they do it- I had never seen anyone else up here when I was training Prim. It's then that my mind makes a connection to Finnick's note. _Dig around._ How much more obvious could it be? Finnick had buried the weapons. After I realize this, it doesn't take me long to find the disturbed soil and to find the assortment of knives that are hidden underneath. I frown, still unhappy that my bow and arrow is gone, but I know that Finnick is right- there is no way I'm getting close to Coin with that on me.  
"Isn't it beautiful?"  
I jump and let the knives drop back into the planter where they were buried just as Cato's steps up behind me, his chest conforming to my back, and his hands come around me to rub my arms.  
"Beautiful?" I ask, my voice coming out in a high pitched squeak. _Had he seen them? _My thoughts collide together in a panic, and I work on swallowing the fear I feel clogging my throat. Cato tugs on me and turns me to face him, a frown of concern on his handsome face. In that moment, I am reminded of just how handsome he is.  
"Kat, what's wrong?" he asks, his voice is alarmed, and his eyes trace my face.  
"You just scared me," I tell him, and he finally stops frowning and smiles at me.  
"Sorry about that," he breathes, staring at my lips. We are stuck in this moment, neither one of us moving, both of us waiting for the other to make the move. No one does and soon, I'm pulling away.  
"I can't stay, Cato," I murmur.  
"What? Why not, Kat?" He protests, and I cringe at my nickname.  
"Look at this place, Cato," I murmur softly, not wanting to upset him with my tone after rejecting him. Cato frowns and looks behind him, at the romantic dinner setting.  
"Do you not like it?" he asks and looks back at me.  
"It's not that," I hedge and his frown deepens. "Come on, Cato, this looks like a date, and I just can't do this now," I argue.  
"Katniss, I swear it's not a date," he argues, and I raise my brow at him in speculation. "Okay, it looks like one, I'll give you that. But this can just be dinner between two people. We can just talk, and nothing else will happen. Please just trust me," he pleads, and I bite my lip as I think. He doesn't deserve this chance. Not after everything he has done, but that doesn't matter because something in me wants to give him this chance.

The night goes by pleasantly slow. Cato and I talk about everything and nothing in particular. Over dinner, we spend time talking about our families, and he listens intently as I hesitantly tell him about my dad dying and my mom's break down. At the end, he reaches out and takes my hand and tells me that he is so sorry. He then tells me about his family life- or lack of one. He was sent to the academy and never got visits from his parents, and when he got to go home, his dad was abusive and controlling. His stories give me a good insight into why he acts the way that he does- and it's then that I realize that even without the medicine his grandpa gave him, he would still have some of the same issues. He then goes into the horrors of the academy and more than once I have to fight back tears as I listen to his horrible stories of violence and manipulation. After dinner, we leave the table and head over to the edge of the roof. Cato turns off the string lights, and we sit under the stars, looking out over the city and talk about the Capitol and even making fun of its citizens. We don't talk much of the games- only briefly when Caesar Flickerman announces that Torque has died from exposure after stumbling away from his group while he was drunk. The other time is when Prim, Beaufort, and Nash stumble across near frozen Avanti. This occurs back at the table during desert. We stop talking to watch as they frantically try to raise her body heat and get her up and moving. Anxiety wracks through my body, and Cato holds my hand until the color in Avanti's lips return. As soon as she can get up, they are off, Avanti on Nash's back, to find some shelter and build a fire for her. On the way back to my room, Cato tells me that Keeth's money has been all wrapped up in litigation by his father. Apparently, his dad was not happy about Keeth picking such a low-ranking tribute to sponsor. I half expect Cato to offer to sponsor Avanti but he doesn't and this oddly comforts me. I don't think that I could handle any more of a radical change in him. At my door, we pause, unsure of what to do next.  
"Tonight was nice," I murmur.  
"I'm glad you think so," he confesses, his voice raw with uncertainty. "I enjoyed it a lot myself," he says and smiles at me. "Goodnight, Katniss," he murmurs and turns away. My hand shoots out and grabs him. He turns to face me, and I quickly lean up on my tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. He gives me a surprised smile and turns and leaves. Entering the apartment, I find a very disapproving Effie.  
"Just where have you been Katniss? You should be either sleeping, showering, or in the Sponsor's room. That's how it works when you're a mentor. How are you supposed to get a hold of Prim's sponsor when you're not even there?" She questions me, hands on her hips.  
"Where the heck do you think I've been, Effie? I've been with Cato," I say roughly, and she blushes, instantly thinking that we've been- _together. _  
"Well, I'm just surprised. I honestly thought that you valued your sister over him, Katniss," she says softly, and I know she's trying to apologize but she does an awful job at it.  
"Effie, it's not like we've been locked up in his room or something. We HAVEN'T done that," I stress before going on. "I've been with him, watching the games the entire time. Don't try to make me feel like I'm skipping out on my responsibilities," I tell her, and her face flushes.  
"I didn't mean to make you feel like that," she mutters, but I'm already gone and heading towards my room.  
I don't even bother to take off my dress. I simply climb right into bed, snuggling under the covers. I prop the tablet Cato gave me on a pile of blankets and watch as the rest of the careers continue their drinking and eating, growing louder and louder by the minute. I hope with all my heart that another tribute will come along and take advantage of their weakness, but no one does. The screen flashes from tribute to tribute, but Prim doesn't come on. I watch, fighting the heaviness in my eyes- I honestly don't know how I could be so tired when I just woke up not that long ago. All I have done is gone and eaten dinner with Cato- how exhausting could that be?  
My eyes are just closing when Caesar Flickerman's voice jerks me awake. "Now what do we have here?" He asks with alarm in his voice. I struggle to open my eyes to look at the screen. They shoot open when I recognize Prim. Her group is coming up on an outcropping of rock. Underneath is enough space for their group to set up a shelter. On either side of the outcrop are huge boulders and thick brush which protects them from either side. I frown, trying to make sense of Flickerman's alarmed voice. It's then that I realize that there is water falling from the sky- freezing rain. My heart pumps, and I want to yell at Prim to get out of the rain. If she gets soaked, she'll freeze to death.  
"Get under cover," Nash yells, as he lets Avanti slide from his back and grabs Beaufort's collar when he tries to follow them to their newfound shelter. "Oh, no you don't, Beaufort, you're coming with me to try to gather some wood before it's too late. If we don't get some warmth, we are all going to freeze," he says, and Beaufort moans in complaint but does as he is told.  
The wind starts to pick up, and the freezing rain comes down in slanting torrents. Nash and Beaufort work furiously to grab any wood they can find while Prim and Avanti huddle together, trying to keep warm. Anxiety claws at me, knowing that the temperature is probably quickly dropping in the arena.  
"Okay, that's enough," Nash calls out, and they quickly take refuge with the girls. Beaufort falls to the ground shivering, and Nash gets to work and soon there is a fire going.  
"What about the smoke?" Prim asks.  
"The rain will disguise the smoke," Nash answers as he starts taking off some of his wet clothes.  
"What are you doing?" Avanti asks as she smothers a girly giggle and hides her eyes.  
"My clothes will dry more quickly if they are off of me," he says and spreads his clothes next to the fire.  
"Well, I'm sure as hell not taking off my clothes," Beaufort says moodily.  
"Do whatever you want, Beaufort," Nash says and turns to huddle close to the fire.  
The cameras switch to Elicity, and I am shocked to see that even though she is only about one hundred yards away from Prim's group, it is not raining on her. Nor is it the least bit windy. Cold dread seeps through me, and I know that the Capitol is trying to get Prim. Elicity frowns as she eyes the storm that is taking place before her, and then she turns and starts gathering supplies to build a shelter of her own.  
"Smart move on her part," Caesar Flickerman comments, and I realize that he's been commenting ever since the games started. Whatever he's taking to stay awake- I want some.  
The cameras once again switch to Prim's group, and I sit up in my bed, pulling the tablet onto my lap. The wind is howling and blowing the cold rain into their shelter. The fire flickers wildly as it fights against the power of the wind, but I know that it won't win- the Capitol won't let it. With one last burst of wind and freezing rain, the fire dies.  
I jump from my bed, and I run, letting my feet lead me without much thought. However, I'm not too surprised when I wind up outside of Cato's door.


	14. The Surrender

**AN: I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. Just gotta warn yah- it is extremely inappropriate for younger ages (please be 18+!). I start back at work tomorrow and school next week so I don't know when I will update again. And oh yeah, sundragons9 is a savior who makes my writing so much better.**

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Chapter Fourteen— The Surrender

I don't even take time to think things through before I start pounding on his door. I can hear his frantic scrambling to answer the door but I don't stop. When he swings the door open, his chest is heaving, and he has a angry look on his face. I step back in fear at his expression and the words that come out of his mouth.

"I thought I told you to go the fuck awa-" his angry exclamation ends abruptly when he realizes that it's me. "Katniss? What are you doing here? How did you get here?" he asks, and I simply shrug, wordlessly, as I stare wide-eyed at him. "What is wrong, Kat? You look like you've seen death," he says, and I can hear the concern in his voice. My answer is to push past him into his room. His bed takes up the majority of the room and is decorated with sheen golden sheets and pillows. They are tossed about as if Cato had been wrestling on the bed or kicking in his sleep, and there are pillows thrown on the floor. There is an odd scent in the air that I almost recognize- it's not something that is bad, but it is off. Across from his bed is a big screen, and I wonder to myself if he can get the games on it. I see a silk blouse on the floor and quickly pick it up, rubbing it between my fingers. _What is a girls' shirt doing in here? _I wonder. I hear the click of the door behind me, and I turn to look at him. His eyes drop to the shirt in my hands and they narrow tightly as his jaw clenches.

"Ah," he says and I can see panic in his eyes. "Our freaking tribute escort is always spreading her shit all over the apartment," he says and clears his throat uncomfortably. I let the shirt drop from my hand as I stare at him. "Is something wrong? Is Prim okay?" he asks, and I can tell that he is frightened. His eyes dart around the room, and I realize that he is also nervous about something. Is it about Prim? Or could it be my presence in his room? I shake my head, and his face drains. "What happened?" he whispers, and I have to speak.

"She's not dead, but she's going to be. The Capitol has a personal vendetta on her," I tell him, and he shakes his head sadly as if there is nothing he can do to help.

"I was afraid of this happening," he admits, but doesn't say anything else on the matter. There is a pregnant pause, and then Cato speaks: "Why are you here, Katniss?" His voice is deep, and it melts me.

_Why am I here? _I wonder, and it takes me a moment to place my reasoning. I _need_ him right now. I need some human comfort. I need to forget about my sister for just a bit. I need a distraction and a release. Cato can give me these things.

"I can't give you exactly what you want, Cato," I say, and Cato just shakes his head like he doesn't understand. "I can't come home with you," I clarify, and his brow furrows, but I continue. "I can't give you that, but I can give you me," I whisper brokenly, my voice is raw and thick with desire. Tension melts from his body as he holds my gaze, and I watch as his eyes darken. He licks his lips, and takes a step towards me.

"Even if all I want is to take care of you? You can't come home with me even then?" He questions and takes another step forward and stops. He runs his hand over his mouth as his eyes run up and down my body in excitement.

"Why do you want to take care of me?" I ask, trying to avoid answering his question. My eyes lock on his perfect mouth, and it's all I can go to stay rooted to my spot.

"Because I would rather take care of you than to never have you," he admits with another step towards me. His eyes probe my face, and I know that he's waiting for my answer.

_Could I go home with him_? I wonder to myself. I don't think I could. Living in District 2 was hell. It takes me a moment to respond, but with a simple shrug I give him my answer- that I don't have one.

"This won't be enough forever, Kat," he murmurs as he slowly walks towards me. My heart beats heavily in my chest. His movements remind me of a predator stalking its prey. His posture is deadly and confident. I have to swallow a couple of times before I can respond.

"I'll worry about that later," I respond, and then he's on me.

Our lips mold together, and our hands grasp for each other as I finally give in to what I have been fighting all along. He pushes me back until I run into something hard- a wall. I run my hands under his shirt and try to slip them into his pants but he grabs them. He pushes his body against mine and grinds his hips against me. I groan, wishing that we were naked. I reach down to drag the skirt of my dress up, but once again, he stops me. I'm about to lose my temper when his hands go under my butt, and he tugs up. I let him pick me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he carries me to the bed. He drops me, and I scramble to get my clothes off, but he stops me with his voice.

"I've been waiting for this for so long, Kat. Quit rushing it," he demands huskily, and I can't respond because my throat closes up in excitement. Instead, I reach up to unzip his pants. He drops his hands to my shoulders as I unbutton and pull down his pants. His erection strains against his boxers, begging to be let out, but I ignore it for the moment. I clamber to my knees and look Cato in the eyes as I grasp the bottom of his shirt.

"Are you sure about this, Katniss?" he asks, his eyes probing into mine as if they are trying to find any doubt there.

"Yes," I whisper, slowly tugging his shirt up.

"Christ," he breathes and closes his eyes as I dispose of his shirt. His breathing picks up, and I drop my eyes from his face to study his perfect body. I rub my hands over his chest, loving the feeling of his sculpted muscles. I can hear Cato stop breathing, and he lets his head fall back as my fingers explore his body. I let my hands slowly drop down to trace his abs. His stomach jumps at my touch as I go lower and lower until I am at the waistband of his boxers. I slip my index fingers underneath the waistband and look up at him as I slowly pull them down. Opening his eyes, he licks his lips and steps out of the clothing piled at his feet. I drop my eyes to look at his manhood, and I'm speechless. Just as I reach out to touch him, he pushes me back onto the bed and clambers on top of me. He drops his body on top of mine, and he lowers his head to kiss me but nothing more. His tongue traces my lips, and I open my mouth to him. He deepens the kiss and grinds his erection against me. I let out a whimper of desire and turn my head so that I can talk.

"Cato, take my clothes off," I beg as he kisses and nips at my neck. He laughs, blowing breath against my skin and making my shiver.

"I can't," he mutters as he works towards my ear.

"Why not?" I ask breathlessly as I squirm underneath him.

"Because I won't be able to control myself," he confesses, and I sigh disappointedly, wondering how his lack of control could really be a bad thing. He laughs again and nips at my ear. "Relax, Katniss," he whispers as his teeth tug at the sensitive skin on my lobe. "We don't need to rush this. We have all the time in the world," he murmurs, but I don't want to wait. I struggle to push him off of me, and he sits back on his knees, a frown on his face.

"We don't have to do this," he says, thinking that I'm trying to get out of this. I shake my head as I reach behind me to try to unzip my dress. Cato's frown melts into a seductive and dangerous grin. He lunges at me, pinning me to the bed. "Not so fast, Kat," he whispers, pulling my hands above my head and holding them there with one of his big hands. His other hand traces down my arm, and runs over my breast, past my stomach, and down my thigh. I squirm against him, thinking about the unfairness of him being almost completely naked while I still have all my clothes on. His hand stops momentarily as he pulls back to look at me. Once our gazes lock, he drags his hand up and under the skirt of my dress. I close my eyes, my breath hitching in my throat as my body anticipates his touch. "Open your eyes, Katniss," he urges, and he stops his hand's ascent until I do what I am told. When I open my eyes, I suck in a shocked breath. He is inches from my face, his eyes gaze into mine.

"Why?" I ask before he can move his hand. He smiles victoriously at me.

"Because I want to know that you are aware of exactly who you are with right now," he tells me and slides his hand up my thigh. I jerk as his fingers slip my thong aside and start play with the wetness between my legs. Numbness seems to flow through me at the pleasure I feel. I squirm, trying to gain some control of what is happening, but I can't get free. I try to tug my hands from his tight grasp, but he tightens his hold on me. I feel pain, but it excites me and fuels the fire that is racing through me.

"Cato," I whimper, and he laughs huskily.

"I know, Kat," he murmurs reassuringly and then slides his fingers inside me. He moves just as I whimper, and he muffles the sound of it with a kiss, but he doesn't stop his fingers. "Oh, Katniss," he murmurs against my lips and pulls away. Dropping his mouth next to my ear, he speaks: "God, you're so wet," he groans. Sweat breaks out on my body, and I try to move my hips with the plunging of his fingers. "Stop that, Katniss," he demands, and he bites my earlobe, causing pain to shoot through me. I moan as I soak my underwear in excitement.

"Cato," I whimper, not being able to form any other sort of thought. He removes his fingers from me and sits back on his knees again. I don't move and choose to simply watch instead as he reaches down to remove his boxers and stroke himself. Heat takes over my body, and my breath starts to come out in gasps. "I need my clothes off now," I whisper as heat fills my face.

"Are you fond of your dress?" Cato asks, and I frown as I look down.

"No- it's not even mine," I babble in confusion, letting Cato tug me onto my knees on the bed. Cato's hands turn me so that I am facing the headboard. I can feel the pressure of his fingers as he slowly tugs the zipper of my dress down. I shiver at the sensuality of it all, and right as I go to shrug out of it, I hear a ripping noise, and my dress falls uselessly at my knees. I gasp and turn to meet his gaze. He's not looking at my face; his eyes are locked on my cleavage. He has a manic look on his face. His hand shoots forward to grab my bra and with a yank, it is torn from my body. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I take this moment to scramble up to my knees. I lean forward and press my mouth to his as I reach my hands down to touch him. He moans at my touch and tries to pull away, but I don't let him. "Don't move," I demand, "let me do this please," I beg, and his response is to wind his fingers into my hair and to try to pull me even closer. My body burns as it touches his, and it gets hotter and hotter. His hands leave my hair to tangle in the fabric of my thong. With a rip, I feel air attack my moistened skin, and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as my excitement grows. Cato pulls away from me, grabbing my arm, he pulls me from the bed and drags me to the bathroom. I stumble after him and let him lift me to put me on the countertop. I gasp at the feeling of the freezing marble against my bare skin. Cato quickly turns on the shower and returns to me, pulling some drawers out on either side of his body before placing my feet on them and moving between my legs. Grabbing my hips he pulls me closer to the edge of the counter. He reaches down between us, grabs his erection, and places it at my entrance, rubbing it slowly against me. My skin tingles, and I gasp, scooting even closer to the edge of the counter, wanting to get closer to him. I expect him to push into me, but, to my aggravation, he doesn't.

"Cato, I don't need a shower. I just want you," I whimper.

"Not yet. I want to explore every part of your body- I've been starving for it, Kat. Let me do this," he says and flicks the tip of his dick against my sensitive skin. I gasp and try to pull him closer to me. I want more than this- this isn't enough. "Don't," he warns as he pulls away and starts to stroke himself again. He looks me in the eye, and his other hand reaches up to wrap around my neck. Steel fills his eyes, and my heart thumps fearfully in my neck. My eyes widen, but he doesn't squeeze- it seems to be enough that his hand is simply there. His eyes roll back into his head, and he releases his manhood. Grabbing my face he pulls it to his, and he rests his forehead against mine. "I've been waiting for this for so long, Kat," he murmurs as he places soft kisses over my face. His hands fist in my hair, and I fight my excited whimper of pain from escaping my mouth. It doesn't work. As his grasp tightens, I break my silence.

"Cato," I moan, and he releases me, dropping to his knees in front of me. I don't have time to think before his mouth is on me. My body jerks in surprise, and I try to clamp my knees together. "Cato, don't!" I exclaim, and he growls in the back of his throat.

"Stop," he orders and his tone lets me know that he won't tolerate any back talking. As his tongue works against my sensitive skin, I do my best to try to not to move and thrash about. He seems to know just what to do and when to do it. My fingers tangle in his hair as his tongue works magic against my skin. Right as I'm about to reach my climax, he pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he smiles a devilish grin at me. "You okay?" he asks me.

"Yes," I breathe. With another heart stopping smile, he jerks me from the counter and takes me into the shower.

**Cato's POV**:

_I shouldn't have done that. I should not have gone there._ The thoughts reverberate through my head, and I try my best to push them away. _Stay in the moment, Cato_, I chide myself. Thinking about other things is what had gotten me into trouble earlier. My mind starts to bring up the memories of earlier tonight- before Katniss had shown up at my door, but I stop them in their tracks. _The girl you want is here__,__ now- stop thinking about the other one,_ I yell at myself, and it works. Stepping into the shower, my only thought is of Katniss. I let her slide slowly down my body, loving the feeling of her skin on mine. She clings to me, barely able to stand, and I let her. Her dependency on me excites me, making me feel in control and dominant over her.

"Can't we go back to the bedroom?" she begs me, her eyes looks wild and dilated. Excitement leaps in my veins, knowing that in this moment, she is mine. She has given in to me, and before she knows it, she'll be home with me- if it's the last thing I do.

"No," I murmur as I run my hands along her back. I can't tell her why we're really in here. That I have the unsquashable urge to make sure she is clean before we finish this up. I want to wash the traces of any guy that has ever touched her from her body before I give myself completely to her. I run my hand up her back and gather her wet hair in my hands. I tug it back gently so that her fragile neck is exposed to me. I want desperately to yank the hair in my hand, to make her cry out, but I know that I need to keep my dark side under control. I can let that side of me out later- just not with Katniss. Lowering my head, I let my teeth lightly graze the side of her neck. She shivers in desire and moves closer to me, letting out a lustful whimper. I can feel power raging through me, and I struggle to stay in control of myself. I don't want to scare her away by hurting her.

"Cato..." she pleads, and I can only imagine just how hot and bothered she is- I am too. My erection throbs painfully, begging me to give it what it's been waiting for. I drop my hand and fist my member. I move my hand slightly, giving it a taste of what is to come. Katniss looks down and frowns. "Let me," she pleads, but I push her hand aside.

"Not yet," I tell her as I grab a bar of soap. I work it between my hands, eying Katniss as I do. My eyes trace all the places I suspect that Peeta has touched. Anger pours through me and my grip tightens, threatening to send the bar of soap flying through the air. Luckily, she doesn't notice my temporary loss of control. Reaching forward, I tug her closer to me and rub the bar of soap across her body. She tries to yank away from me, a frown flitting across her beautiful face.

"I don't need to be cleaned," she declares stubbornly, her chin going up. "All I need right now is you," she says with a pout and somewhere deep inside of me, the urge to slap her flickers. I shake my head, trying to get rid of that thought.

"If you let me do this, I'll let you do it to me next," I tell her, and she frowns as she thinks. Her eyes fall to my dick, and I know she's thinking about washing it- her hands on it, working it.

"Fine," she says and steps forward. "But make it fast," she purrs, eagerness clear in her voice.

Despite her request, I take my time washing her. I wash her arms and once rinsed, I take my time kissing her wrists and up her arms. I wash her shoulders and breasts, and my lips chase away the suds as I nip at her playfully. When I go to wash her between her legs, she grabs the soap from me and tells me that she'll do it or else she'll go crazy at the sensation of my touch. I let her have it, enjoying the sight of her hands on her intimate parts. When she is done, she looks up at me, excitement swirling in her eyes. "Your turn," she declares, and I give her a brief nod of permission. My erection throbs at the thought of her hands on me. It's almost too much to handle, and she hasn't even laid a finger on me yet. Katniss takes her time, washing and massaging me until I want to shove her against the wall and take her right there in the shower. She kneels down and washes my waist, purposefully avoiding my manhood as she does so.

"Touch me, Katniss," I demand, and she smiles connivingly up at me.

"It's not so fun, is it Cato?" she asks teasingly, and I so want to shove myself into her smartass mouth, but I don't because as torturous as it is, I'm enjoying myself.

"You're pure evil," I mutter, and she laughs but quickly grows serious as she looks at my impressive erection. Carefully, she reaches out and rubs soap onto my shaft. I close my eyes and throw my head back, groaning as she moves her hand up and down. "Fuck," I moan, and the feeling of her hands on me disappears. I feel the spray of the water, and then I almost lose control as she takes me into her mouth. I go stock still and grab her head, preventing her from moving. I'm precariously close to losing it. She makes a noise, and I know she's protesting my restraining her, but I don't pay her attention. Once I feel more in control, I gently guide her head back and forth, controlling the speed of things. At first, I can tell she doesn't appreciate my help but soon she gets lost in our actions as she starts to suck and move her tongue against me. I push farther into her mouth, and I'm surprised by her lack of a gag reflex. I pump into her, getting lost in the feeling. She surprises me by pulling away and looking up at me with big, pitiful eyes.

"Cato, I can't take it any longer," she declares and shoots to her feet, wiping the saliva off of her chin. "Are we going to do this or not?" she demands, and I laugh at her impatience. Dragging her from the shower, she stumbles after me. I can feel the frantic beat of her pulse in her wrist, and knowing that I've caused how erratic is it, excites me.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I ask, not because I'm giving her a chance to stop this now, but because I really don't think she knows what she has gotten herself into- does she not remember how brutal I could be during sex?

"Yess," she says in a complaining tone, dragging the s out.

"I don't think you are," I murmur darkly and turn to face her. She sucks in a breath, and I can tell that my words have aroused her. Grasping her by the shoulders, I pick her up and throw her forcefully on the bed. She lets out a surprised gasp and struggles to crawl onto her back.

"Cato, what are you doing?" she gasps as I take hold of her ankles and pull her down on the bed.

"Giving you what you want," I tell her with a grin as I climb on top of her. Water drips from me and falls to her skin, forming a small stream that runs off her body to be soaked by the sheets beneath us.

"Don't hurt me," she murmurs breathlessly. Her chest heaves, and her eyes are tiny slits of fear. The dark side of me desperately wants to respond- to do the opposite of what she has asked. I grit my teeth together and shake my head, sending droplets of water into the air.

"I'll try not to," I tell her honestly.

"Thanks," she replies and smiles seductively at me, waiting for me to move but, I don't. I'm still struggling with myself. "Come here," she begs, but I still don't move. My fists clench the sheets, and I try to push all the memories of me hurting her from my head. The memories clash together with the ones of other girls I have tried to replace her with- none of them could hold a candle to her though. She crawls out from underneath me and pushes me onto my back. Straddling me, she leans down and places kisses on my face. "Do you still want this?" she asks me, the expression on her face is one of vulnerability. She has misread my lack of response as disinterest. My answer is to take her hand and lead it to my erection.

"Does it feel like I still want this?" I ask her, and she catches her breath as my hand goes between her legs. "I can see that you still want this," I murmur and withdraw my fingers. Moving my hand to my erection, I guide myself to her entrance and hold it there, letting her decide if she wants to back out. Her eyes glide to mine and as she moves down, I push up into her, stretching her as I go. She lets out a moan and winces at the slight discomfort. I feel slight satisfaction knowing that Peeta must be tiny if she is this tight.

"Mmmm," she breathes, and I stay still as she accommodates herself to my size. My dark side roars at me to keep going- to fuck her rough and hard, but I know that wouldn't be beneficial to my plans.

"You're tight," I grit out between my teeth as I try to keep from climaxing right away.

"That's what happens when you don't have sex for months," she says breathlessly, and I try to fight the frown that is threatening. My mind wages war over whether or not to believe her or not. "I've actually missed this," she confesses quietly. "I couldn't help but remember us like this after I left District 2. I really got lonely sometimes- missing this contact." My heart skips a beat, and I reach up to push the hair from her face.

"You don't ever have to be alone again," I tell her, thinking about her coming home with me after this whole games mess was over. Her eyes water, and she gives me a sloppy smile which I return. My heart thumps heavily in my chest, and I move so that she is once again on her back. "Are you ready?" I ask her, and she nods her head, throwing her arms around my neck, she draws me down as I move inside of her. I groan at the friction, and she clutches me to her. I pause once more, giving her time to adjust again but she doesn't need it. Wrapping her legs around my waist she moves against me. "Are you okay?" I ask again.

"Stop with the talking and the babying," she grunts, and I smother a laugh as I do as I'm told. I move inside of her, still holding back, and I can tell that her frustration is mounting. She thrashes her head back and forth. "Harder," she demands, and my heart leaps in excitement. Biting my lip, I try to stay in control of my body as I give her what she wants. She moans, and her face flushes. She arches her body beneath me, and I stop, climbing off of her. "Come back," she complains, but I don't listen. Instead, I grab her by the ankles and pull her to the side of the bed. Standing beside the bed, I shove her knees apart and yank her closer to me. Grabbing her calves, I place them on either side of my shoulders and grab the top of her thighs to pull her even closer so that her butt is flat against my thighs. I take a moment to position myself at her entrance before I pound into her. She gasps in surprise, and her eyes roll into the back of her head. Her response to my aggression almost pushes me over the edge, but I'm just able to restrain myself. I slam into her over and over, and I can feel her tightening around me- I know she won't last much longer. I pull out of her, reaching down to stroke myself.

"Get on your knees," I tell her, and she looks at me in shock.

"My knees?" she asks, confused. Her innocence is arousing and my dark side rejoices, knowing that it will be able to show her a different side of sex.

"Just trust me," I growl, and she nods before doing as she's told. "Now, lower your back," I tell her, and she stiffens. "Just angle so that your ass is in the air," I demand, and she shakes her head.

"What the hell, Cato?!" she exclaims, and I quickly bring my hand down on her ass. She stiffens at the spanking, and my erection throbs excitedly.

"Are you going to listen to me, Kat?" I growl, and she whimpers as she does as she's told. I fumble as I try to find her entrance, but once I do, I easily slide into her. She makes a noise in the back of her throat but I can't quite tell if it one of protest or pleasure. I don't care either way. I slam into her again, and this time she moans, her muscles tightening once again. I run my hand over the red hand print I left on her creamy skin, and I push the middle of her back down, angling her even more.

"Oh!" she gasps in surprise. The feeling of it is just right, and I know that this is it.

"Say my name," I grunt as I pump into her. She moans but doesn't say anything. I bring my hand down on her ass again, and she jumps, moaning my name. I'm right at the edge, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on for. Reaching forward, I grab her hair and yank it back. This pain seems to be the ticket. I can feel her tightening around me over and over. With a grunt, I let go, pounding her fast and hard until we are both spent.

Katniss crumples beneath me, panting and I follow suit. "Wow," she murmurs and her laughter shakes the bed. "That was-different," she finishes lamely.

"Good different or bad?" I ask as I pull out of her and fall onto the bed in exhaustion.

"Good," she replies, turning onto her side to gaze at me.

"Well, good," I respond and yawn, stretching lazily. My eyes grow heavy, and I let them shut, my mouth falling open as I try to get my breathing under control.

"Is that it?" she demands, anger flashing in her eyes. I know logically that she is probably only freaking out about what just happened but my anger still flares. I sit up, my anger responding to hers.

"Is that it?!" I shout, and she pulls back in surprise. My mind screams at me to shut up before I can undo any of the progress I've made with her, but my mouth doesn't listen. "I just spent about an hour making sure you felt good. I'm tired, Katniss," I say sharply, and I watch in aggravation as tears fill her eyes. "Don't do that," I beg her and pull her into my arms. "Tell me what else you want," I beg hopelessly as I try to backtrack.

"Nothing anymore," she says sniffs, and I realize that she had only wanted me to hold her. I sigh, exasperated, and wonder just how I should go about getting this girl to myself again. She constantly keeps me on my toes- one moment she is giving in to me, the next she is growing a spine and rubbing me the wrong way. She'll act like she's too good for me then the next, show up at my door, begging me for some action. She calls me out when I try to manipulate her, and in the next instant, she is falling for one of my charades. I pull her closer to me, molding her to my chest.

"Get some sleep, Kat," I murmur against her hair, my hand trailing back and forth across her side. Goosebumps jump to attention, and she shivers in delight. Silence falls in the room, and her breathing evens out. I think she has passed out until she speaks.

"It's only ever been you," she murmurs, and her body grows tense.

"Been me? What are you talking about?" I ask, confused.

"I've heard you accusing me of being a skank, but I'm not. I've only ever been with you," she says softly.

"I see," I say evasively, and kiss the back of her head. "Go to sleep," I urge her quietly, and it's not long before I hear her faint snoring. Is is true? Had I really been the only one, or was she just trying to prevent me from getting angry at her? I'm not sure, but I can say that I honestly can't imagine her with someone else. Not when it seems like she was made specifically for me. I sigh contently and smile to myself. She is so close to giving in- to agreeing to come home with me. My odds haven't been looking so good lately, but this changes everything. If she has already begged to sleep with me, it isn't really that much of a stretch for her to break down all the way. I just have to keep my temper in check around her, and everything will fall into place. That is if Prim dies in the games. If she survives, there is no way in hell that Katniss will even consider the possibilities of living with me. I sigh again and have the rare moment of letting myself feel remorseful for someone else. Looking at her, I feel it. I feel bad for the Girl On Fire who caught my eye. The odds are not in her favor.


	15. The Wake Up Call

**AN: This is an update of Chapter 15. I deleted the end of the chapter so I could fix it. The ending of this chapter is posted in the next chapter. Sorry for the confusion!  
**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen- The Wake Up Call

Katniss POV

I wake to the sound of hushed talking. I stretch, wincing at the soreness in my muscles and roll over, my hands reaching for Cato, but they come up empty. Light seeps through the thin skin of my eyelids, and I frown as the talking grows louder. I peek my eyes open a bit and immediately shut them when I am blinded by the hall light that is streaming from Cato's open door. I open them again, squinting furiously at the unrelenting light. I can make out Cato's back in the doorway. He's only wearing his boxer shorts, and I take a moment to admire his strong back. It's then that I can hear a voice- he's talking to someone. No, not talking. Arguing.

"Why are you here?" he asks angrily, and the muscles in his neck stiffen in frustration.

"I figured we could try again," says a feminine voice softly, and I can hear the quiet desperation in it. Ice fills me. Who is Cato talking to, and why is he talking to her with barely any clothes on?

"You know better," Cato replies coldly as he shuffles from foot to foot.

"I just thought-" the voice begins to argue.

"I thought I made it clear that you are not to come here or seek me out unless I call for you, Johanna" he says flatly, and my heart sinks to my stomach. _What is she doing here?_ I want to dart from the bed; to scratch her eyes out so that she can never see Cato like this again. But the intensity of this conversation keeps me frozen to the spot.

"What is wrong with you? You're not acting normal. I know that you need a fix," she tempts him, but he doesn't bite. _A fix? Is Cato doing drugs or something?_

"Nothing is wrong with me, Jo, I just want to go to bed."

"But that's why I'm here, baby. I figured we could do what we do. I know it will help you sleep better," she purrs and jealousy burns in my veins, making me clench my fists. _Baby?!_ Who the hell does she think she is? And just what does she mean that they can _do what they do?_

"I don't need your help tonight," he declares unpassionately. I hear shuffling, and through my squinted eyes, I see her face appear over Cato's shoulder- she must be on her tippy toes.

"Who is that in there?" she asks, jealously tightening her throat.

"Who do you think it is?" he asks as he glances back at me over his shoulder. I'm stiff as a board, afraid that he will know I'm awake. With a satisfied sigh, he turns back to Johanna in the hallway.

"Why would you go back to her?" Johanna fairly shouts, and Cato cracks his neck- his tell that he is about to lose it.

"If you don't lower your voice right now, I'm going to fucking hit you," he hisses, and Johanna's face disappears.

"I just don't understand, Cato. She refuses to give you what you want- what you need. I give you that- no matter how much it hurts. I let you use me in any way that you want. What makes that slut so special?" she asks petulantly, and Cato sighs, rubbing the back of his neck in aggravation.

"She has something that you don't-" he tells her, and there is a pause as Johanna waits to hear what exactly that is. "She has a spine that almost always refuses to bend, and a will that is so lovely to break," he says, and I grow cold. He hasn't changed a bit. He fooled me. I feel horrible that I had come to him for comfort. He had accepted me into his bed and probably laughed the entire time at my weakness.

"I don't think that is it," Johanna argues, danger leaking into her voice. "I've seen the way that you act around her. You've changed, Cato. She's making you _soft_," she says with disgust, and the way that she says the last word makes me think that she is talking about something else. "Is that what you want? To be soft and weak?" There is a deathly silence.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he asks.

"I think you know," she challenges him, and I have to give her some credit- she does have some courage.

"What happened earlier tonight had nothing to do with me, Johanna. It had everything to do with you not being her," he says angrily with a gesture towards me. "Maybe if you were more like her, I'd be _inspired _more," he grits out. Realization washes over me. They had been together earlier tonight- after the rooftop, but before I had gotten there, and apparently, things hadn't worked properly for Cato. Nausea pools in stomach. Two girls in one night? I can't believe I have fallen into this trap.

"Don't say that," she cries, and I can tell that tears are threatening. _So much for courage,_ I think.

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want. Do you honestly think I give a shit about you, Jo? You know why I'm using you- so I don't take my frustration out on her. Where along the way did that become unclear?" There is silence that is broken only by her pathetic sobs. "Get out of here, Johanna. Don't come crawling back here unless I call you. Do you understand?" He asks, and I wish that she would slap him and tell him to go to hell.

"Yes," she whispers, and I hear footsteps as she leaves. I slam my eyes shut as Cato closes the door with a sigh.

"Fucking whore," he murmurs, and I can hear as he crosses the room to stand beside the bed. I feel his fingers on my face, tracing my lips, running over my cheek and pushing back my hair. "Oh, Kat," he murmurs, and the feeling of his fingers disappears. I hear the distinct sound of fabric over skin, and dread fills me as I imagine his boxers on the floor. Luckily, the sound of his footsteps retreat, and I open my eyes to watch as he enters the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I know I have to move fast- I have to get out of here before he comes back. I sit up, my hand fumbling for the lamp on the bedside table. Finally my fingers come into contact with the switch for the light, and I squint against it as I roll over to the other side of the bed. My dress is lying on the floor. I pick it up and hold it out to inspect it. It's totally ruined, a rip going straight down the back. I don't see an appropriate way to salvage the dress so that I can make it back to my room. Dropping the dress, I scoop down and grab Cato's shirt that lays forgotten on the floor. I hear the toilet flush, and my heart stops. I know the timing is going to be tight on this escape attempt. I frantically slip into his shirt and stop only momentarily to grab his boxers, which I put on, and then his pants. I don't want him to be able to come after me right away, and hopefully, he won't give chase naked. The bathroom door clicks open, and I can hear Cato pause when he realizes that the light is on.

"Katniss, are you up?" he calls out but I don't answer. "Are you ready for another round?" he asks. I gag on my revulsion, and the sound of the sink running fills the air, but I don't respond. Disgust and a little bit of longing rolls through me. The longing only serves to intensify my disgust. I stumble towards the door, hoping that he won't make it out of the bathroom in time for him to see me leave. The gushing of water stops, and I know my wish won't come true. "Katniss?" he calls out, and I'm at the door, fumbling with the lock. "Where the fuck are you going?" he yells, and the lock clicks, letting me know I've unlocked it. I turn to look at him and almost swallow my tongue. He is naked, and he has an impressive erection. His expression is dangerous and reminds me of the Cato I am used to. I don't even answer him as I fly from the room.

* * *

I grip the cold handles of my knives tightly in my hands as I stomp towards my door. I had decided to stop to get the knives from the roof before I returned to District 12's apartment- I would hate for them to disappear. They are my last chance for revenge on Coin. Haymitch grumbles sleepily from the couch, passed out in a drunken stupor. I ignore him as I beeline it for my destination. I slam into my room, grabbing the vase that is located immediately to right of the door. Taking its smooth, cold surface in my hands, I let it fly to smash against the far wall. A sob works its way through me and bursts from my mouth. I hear a shuffle and a dull thud as if someone has fallen from their bed and onto the floor. I quickly rule out it being Haymitch or Effie- they are heavy sleepers. That leaves Whytt. The sound of pounding footsteps fills the air, and I know that he is coming to check on me. Whirling around, I slam the door shut and quickly fasten the lock into place just as the handle starts to jiggle furiously. I turn from the door, my eyes searching wildly for something else to break as another sob wracks my body. They fall on one of the Capitol's glass sculptures, and I take the heavy object in my hands. Whytt pounds on the door.

_Katniss, you are an idiot_, I think harshly to myself as my heart constricts painfully in my chest. _You showed him just how weak you are,_ I criticize. Anger pounds aggressively through me and I feel like my body could explode. _He played you, and you fell for it so easily,_ I reprimand myself.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Whytt yells as he works on opening the door.

"Go away!" I shout tearfully and turn towards the door. Images of Cato and me together fill my head, I let my arm fly forward, letting the sculpture leave my hand. It smashes against the door, and I hear Whytt curse.

"HAYMITCH, WAKE UP! HE'S HURTING HER!" He screams, and there's a loud thud and my door shudders in protest. He's trying to break down the door.

"Whytt, leave me alone!" I scream, and I punch the door in frustration. Instantly my hand starts to throb in pain which only fuels my anger. I fall to the floor and let sobs take over me. I ignore the thudding against my door and let my despair and anger ruin me. My veins burn with them both, and my heart seems to sink in my chest. Nausea boils in my stomach. Images of Cato and me together swarm my head, and I scream in pain, pulling at my hair.

How could I have gone to him?! Did I have no control- no dignity? After all he has done, how could I still want him? How could I even stand to look at him? It makes no sense and that's what bugs me the most. I'm a strong person but something about him just defeats me everytime.

There's another thud, and I sigh, knowing that I need to let Whytt know that I'm okay. I pull up onto my knees, unlock the door, and open it just slightly. I sink back to my knees in defeat as Whytt barges into the room. His head whips around, looking for Cato.

"What the hell happened here, Katniss? Where is Cato?"

"He's not here, Whytt," I say softly and sniff. Whytt falls to the floor next to me.

"Talk to me, Katniss. What is going on? What happened here?" he asks, and his hand rubs my back. I shudder away from him, not wanting to feel the touch of another person right now.

"Nothing, Whytt. Go get some sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow in the Sponsor's room," I mumble and struggle to my feet, heading towards my bed.

"What are you wearing?" he asks quietly, and I can tell by the tone in his voice that he knows that the boxers and shirt I am wearing are Cato's.

"I don't want to talk about it," I say coldly. "See you tomorrow," I say dismissively.

"No," he says simply, and I turn to look at him. He is now standing, his arms crossed protectively across his chest. "You won't see me tomorrow," he says and I shake my head in confusion.

"Why? Because I won't tell you something that is none of your business?" I ask angrily, and my fists clench together.

"I wish that was the reason, Katniss," he murmurs and takes a deep breath. "I'm being sent back to District 12. Coin says that it appears that you and Cato have been getting along rather well lately. She decided that it wasn't fair to have a nobody running around the Capitol for no reason. I leave in a few hours," he says flatly.

"What? When did this happen?!" I exclaim as if knowing when could help me fix this.

"I got the notification a few hours ago," he says, and it dawns on me that this happened after Cato and I had slept together. She knew- but how? I frown and curse Cato's name. He had probably gone and told her or something. I shake my head at the irrational thought. _Why would he do that?_

"But I need you now more than ever. Especially after what just happened," I say, and my voice is pleading.

"I can't help it, Katniss," he says, and in his eyes, I can see that he is truly sorry. "Haymitch will take care of you. He cares about you alot, Katniss," Whytt says, and I shake my head. Sighing he turns towards the door. "Get changed, Katniss," he murmurs and shuts the door. As I slip from Cato's clothes, I find myself hoping that Haymitch's presence will be enough to keep Cato from me.

* * *

I finger the blades of my knives as I pause outside the Sponsor's Room. I had practiced with them after Whytt left, letting the sound of them slicing through air calm me. I'm not nearly as good with them as I am with my bow and arrow, but I know that with practice, I'll improve. Lord knows that I have enough motivation. I grip the handle of one of the knives and open the door with my other. My heart pumps furiously as my eyes scan the room, looking for Cato. When I don't find him, I relax in relief. The Sponsor's Room is eerily quiet and full for being so early in the morning. Everyone's eyes are glued to the screen, staring attentively at the screen.

Turning my attention to the screen, I gasp in astonishment. The shot on the screen shows a landscape that is covered with thick ice crystals. The sun is just starting to rise, and as it hits the crystals, it sends tiny, delightful rainbows everywhere. The trees are bent under the weight of all the ice crystals that hang from their branches. Icicles hang from everywhere, making the arena a winter wonderland. My breath catches in my throat. I don't think I have seen anything this pretty ever before. The wind blows slightly, and the ice on the trees sway gently in the breeze.

In that perfect moment, the two fat twin sponsors barge into the room, arguing heatedly. "We aren't sending her another one!" The bald one says harshly, and the big nose one rubs his oily face in aggravation.

"How is she supposed to win without one?" the big nosed one argues.

"She'll have to figure it out," the bald one declares dispassionately.

"You aren't making any sense! We picked Marble because of her skill with the slingshot. We have to get one to her or we'll have wasted our money!"

"What do you think sending her another one would be? A waste! She should have been more careful with the one we sent her," the bald one says with a tone of finality, and they both move farther into the room to order some food from the bar.

The sound of footsteps crunching through thin ice brings my attention back to the screen. Nash is trudging through the frozen forest, shaking his head in amazement. He crouches down and reaches out with his hand to trace a small footprint. The cameras zoom in on his face, and I gasp at the paleness of it. He sniffles, and I can tell that he is congested- he must have gotten sick from the freezing rain last night. I bite my lip, worrying about Prim suffering from the same thing- a simply illness in the arena is a big deal. Just then Caesar's voice interrupts the games, and I'm shocked that he is still up and commentating.

"I'm not surprised that he's feeling under the weather," Ceasar says with a laugh. "Last night was awful for his group. I'm just surprised that they all didn't end up getting sick," my body sags in relief at this statement- Prim is okay. "I'll tell you what though. There was some smart thinking on his part last night- using his big body to shield the fire so that once relighted, it didn't go out. It was a good idea. It is nice to see this kind of relationship forming in the arena- where a tribute goes out of their way to protect their alliance members. It's the same thing that Katniss Everdeen did, and I wonder if this is what we are to expect in all upcoming hunger games," Caesar says, and his voice fades away as Nash follows the frozen footprints to a thicket of bushes. Sneezing, he studies the vegetation, and I know he's wondering just how the tribute who left these footprints managed to get through this barrier- thick underbrush with huge, unforgiving thorns. With another loud sneeze, he glances around frantically out of fear of being found. The wind rips at his jacket, and he pulls the thin fabric closer to him as he turns and heads back to the shelter.

Turning, Nash freezes as his eyes lock on Red- the tribute from District 7. Her frozen hair moves stiffly in the wild wind but nothing else moves. Her eyes are narrowed in on Nash, trying to determine his weaknesses. She reaches up behind her slowly, and Nash jumps into action. He charges at her, his feet slipping, desperate for some grip on the slippery surface of the icy ground. Red's face registers shock, and she stumbles back as she pulls a throwing axe from the holster strapped to her waist. The steel of the thick blade glints in the dull light of the day as Red swings the axe up. Nash lunges toward her and goes flying through the air, his arms outstretched. Red gasps, and she ducks. Nash tumbles over her, scraping his face against the rough, icy ground.

Red circles around as Nash scrambles up, wheezing. They circle each other, slowly placing one foot over the other as they perform a deadly dance. Red keeps her axe raised over her head, as she waits for the perfect moment to let it fly. Nash eyes her wearily, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath through his congestion. His eyes narrow in on her feet, and I can see what he is trying to do. He is going to try to maneuver her in a way so that she will lose her footing. He takes a step right, and Red inches to the left, the axe a constant threat hovering in the air. Nash takes another step right, a smile stretching across his face as his eyes lock on a thick root sticking up from the ground.

Red takes his distraction as a chance to attack. She lifts the axe an inch higher, and just as she is about to let it fly, she takes a step to the left, and her foot hits the root. Her hand goes forward, and the axe flies. She gasps in surprise as her body twists and falls to the ground. I watch in sick fascination as the axe tumbles blade over handle towards Nash's head. At the last second, he ducks, the axe slicing the skin at his hairline instead of lodging into his forehead. On the ground, Red cries out as she claws at her ankle, trying to untangle it from the twisted root.

"Fuck," Nash mutters as he fingers the wound on his forehead. I hold my breath, praying that its not too deep. His hand pulls away, blood staining his hand. On the ground, Red gasps as she tugs her ankle free from the root and frantically starts to claw at the ground, dragging her body slowly away from Nash. Clambering to his feet, he approaches her with a hardened look on his face. Her face drains of blood.

"Please, don't," she begs, and Nash simply shakes his head.

"I am terribly sorry for what I have been forced to do here," he says and stops to stand before her. She lets out a broken sob and shakes her head in denial.

"But you don't _have _to do this," she argues.

"How else can I save the young girls lives?" he asks her, and she cries, knowing that there is no point arguing. Stepping forward, Nash takes Red's head between his hands and pauses. "I'm so sorry, and I wish you luck in your next life," Nash says and doesn't wait for a response. With a hard twitch of his hands, there is a horrifying crack, and Red drops lifelessly to the frozen ground. The canon sounds and blood drips from Nash's wound onto her face. He sighs heavily ,and his thumb tries to stroke the blood from her face, but it only smears it across her cheek.

Caesar Flickerman lets out a low whistle. "Well, that was intense and, quite frankly, a little odd. I've never seen a tribute apologize before killing another tribute," he says.

I let out the breath I hadn't been aware that I was holding as the camera follows Nash's defeated body. He slowly walks away, his shoulders slumped and trembling as he cries. I expect for my heart to go out to him, but I don't feel anything. Killing is apart of the games. He slowly makes his way towards the shelter, and I can see in the distance that Avanti is running through the trees to meet him. I'm relieved that Prim isn't so stupid as to run out in the open like that. Nash lets Avanti plow into his side, and he lets out a muffled grunt as he wraps his arms around the small girl.

"We were so scared that you died! We heard the cannon and you weren't with us, and I could only imagine what would happen to us," Avanti cries and pulls away to look up at him. She gasps at the blood she sees running down his face. "What happened?" she whispers, and Nash reaches up to wipe at the blood threatening to drip into his eyes.

"I'll tell you all about it back in the shelter. It probably looks worse than it really is," he says and reaches down to ruffle her hair. "Come now, Avanti. I think I see Prim anxiously waiting for us. Lets not keep her waiting."

Avanti takes his big hand in her small one, and they slowly make their way through the trees. As they draw closer and closer to the shelter, I am more able to see Prim's small, anxious form pacing back and forth inside. There is a small fire going and Beaufort is curled up next to it, sleeping. Overhead hang huge, magnificent icicles that were formed in the storm last night.

"Oh! They're here! Beaufort, wake up!" she shouts and bounces up and down in relief. No one even sees it coming. With a loud crack, one of the huge icicles that hang above her comes darting through the air and slides easily into her shoulder. The blood drains from my face, and I numbly move to collapse in one of the chairs. Prim makes a strangled noise and falls to her knees, her hands going to clutch at the thick icicle lodged in her shoulder. Her eyes swing wildly around her as Beaufort stretches and sits up, rubbing his arms in an attempt to keep warm. He turns and freezes as he takes in the sight before him. Prim looks at him, her eyes wide and fearful. She grasps the icicle and goes to tug it from her shoulder. Beaufort jumps forward and stops her.

"Don't! It's keeping you from bleeding too heavily," he says and whips his head around, looking for their other alliance members. Avanti enters first, all smiles until she sees Prim. She cries out and backs away fearfully. When Nash enters, I can tell that he is confused by Avanti's reaction. His eyes lock with Beaufort, and he frowns at the panic that he sees there. Everything clicks into place when he looks at Prim. His eyes go from the icicle lodged in her shoulder to the ones hanging above them. His hand reaches out and moves Avanti away from the danger of falling icicles. He turns, kneeling down next to Prim. His wound is still bleeding slightly, and he has to wipe blood from his eyes before he continues.

"Beaufort, put some more firewood on please. We need to try to keep her warm, especially if she goes into shock." The cameras flick to Prim's face, and I just know that she will- she's staring off into space and slight tremors are rocking her small frame. Nash reaches out and touches just below her wound, and she flinches at the contact. A small stain of blood is slowly starting to form around it, and I'm relieved to see that her wound isn't gushing. Nash takes his time, looking at the wound, and moving haround Prim to look from different angles. He's careful to make sure that he doesn't move her arm too much, afraid to aggravate her wound. After a few moments, he sits back on his heels and sighs as he eyes the icicle. "I don't think we should remove it. I'm afraid of how much it will bleed if we do. That thing is in pretty deep, and I can only imagine the damage it has done," he says. My body starts to shake in fear- what if the damage is bad? What if the wound gets infected? My freak out moment is interrupted by a cold voice.

"It looks like everyone has given up on your precious sister, _Katniss_," the voice sneers, and I turn to look at Johanna, my face a clam mask of shock. "Look around. No one is here for you- not Haymitch, Whytt, Effie- not even Cato," she says and coldness rushes through me at this realization. I get up from my chair, and Johanna steps back, surprised by my abruptness.

"I have to leave," I murmur quietly and quickly flee from the room.

I fidget nervously in the elevator as it slowly makes its way towards District 12's floor. When the doors ding open, I find the apartment eerily quiet. The lights are low and there are no Avoxes present. I step inside, my eyes dodging back and forth, searching for signs of Haymitch or Effie. The only sign of life is the flickering of the screen on the wall. My eyes drop to the back of the sofas, but I don't see anyone sitting and watching the games. The screen flashes as the cameras transition to a different part of the arena. It's then that it's reinforced that the Capitol has targeted Prim's group.

Tinsel and Lametta appear to be on a scouting mission near the base of the mountain. They walk side by side, their eyes scanning their surroundings. Their lack of foggy breath lets me know that in this part of the arena, it's not nearly as cold as where Prim's group is. Together they pick through the woods, avoiding boulders and climbing over fallen trees as they search for their next victim. I hope that they find someone- that way it would put Prim closer to winning. However, I feel bad for whoever they encounter. I haven't forgotten about their ancient art of karate- of how their hands flew through the air at blinding speeds. Tinsel clambers up on a decomposing tree trunk, but Lametta doesn't follow. She frowns, studying the tree.

"I'd get off of that if I were you," she says quietly. "I just don't trust the look of it." Tinsel laughs, ignoring his sister's concern.

"It's fine," he says and jumps slightly just to prove his point. His foot slips, and he scrambles to stay up right. He just manages it, and he gives a slight laugh as he places both feet solidly on the log. "Well that was close," he laughs, and then there's a jerk as he falls down, his foot going through the decomposing bark of the tree. His butt lands unforgivingly against the frozen tree, and his face twists in pain as his sister's laughter fills the air.

"You are such an idiot, Tinsel!" she exclaims, laughing.

"Quit laughing, Lametta, I hurt myself!" he exclaims, and Lametta chokes on her laughter.

"Are you serious?" she asks, as she rushes to his side. He moans as he tugs his ankle from the rotted wood. His hands go to take off his shoes, but his sister slaps them away.

"Have you forgotten our training? Never take the boot off of an injured foot- you may not be able to get it back on," she hisses, and her brother nods his head curtly. "Now come on, we need to try to find shelter before night falls," she says and turns his body so that she can throw his arm around her shoulder.

"Shelter? Lets just head back to camp. It's not that far away- I know we can make it before nightfall," he argues, and his sister looks at him as if he has gone daft.

"The pain must be going to your head because I know that you're not that stupid, Tinsel," she says harshly as she jerks him to his feet, causing him to whimper in pain. "Why would we go back there? So they could kill you while you're injured? No, I'm going to get you better, then we will work on taking them out," she says as they limp off together. The screen pulses as shots of different tributes fly across the screen. I quickly get bored with what I see and set off to search the rooms for Effie and Haymitch.

I walk past the couches and head towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. Entering the hall, I hear the sound of soft snoring. Turning, I find Haymitch asleep on the couch—he must have fallen asleep while watching the games. His mouth opened slightly. I narrow my eyes at him, losing my patience. With a few big steps, I'm in front of him. My hand flies out, slapping him across the face. He jerks awake, drawing out the knife he always sleeps with. I knock it from his hand easily and grip his chin to make him look at me.

"Would you like for me to fill you in on Prim since you seem to be so busy sleeping?" I ask him coldly and something in my expression keeps him from losing his temper with me.

"I'm sorry," he says simply, and I shove his face away, dropping his chin.

"She's injured. Go find Cato and work out getting something sent to her. I doubt he wants to see me anytime soon," I say coldly and head towards my room, needing to get rid of some of my anxiety. I finger my knives through the fabric of my jacket. _Yes, this will be a good way to help calm me, _I think to myself.

"Where are you going?" Haymitch asks sleepily.

"To work on my plan to kill Coin," I tell him unflinchingly, not caring who hears me, and he doesn't respond. I'm not too surprised either. I have a feeling that when it comes down to it, that Haymitch will back me up. I know his feelings about the Capitol. Entering my room, I'm surprised to see that the mess I had made earlier hasn't been cleaned up. That's not the only thing that surprises me. Cato is stretched out in a chair, his eyes trained steadily on me.


	16. Wake Up Call Cont with UPDATES

**AN: This is an update of Chapter 15. I was rereading my story and couldn't believe what I had written. There was no way I was going to continue with the story until I fixed some things. I think it's so much better than what I had before!**

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I pull up, fear drumming through me and turn to leave but his words stop me.

"Don't make me chase you, Kat. It won't end nicely," he says, and I shiver at the threat in his voice. My palms sweat as I wonder how he's going to punish me for running from him earlier. Turning, I stare at him and he must see the worry on my face because he laughs nervously and all traces of hostility seep from his face. "What happened in here?" he asks as he gestures around at all the broken glass on the floor. I blush, remembering how upset I was—still am—about him and Johanna.

"What? You don't like the changes? I figured I would try my hand at interior design," I murmur evasively, avoiding answering his question- I don't want him to know just how hurt I am. To cover my pain, I smile tauntingly at him. His eyes grow hard as he studies me, obviously not impressed with my answer.

"I'm sure," he grits out between his teeth as he eyes the destruction I had done.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with false enthusiasm and move to enter the bathroom. He jumps from his chair and blocks my way. His hand comes up to trace my cheek, and I suck in a breath as I try to fight the traitorous attraction I feel towards him. His fingers touch my cheek and my eyes close as I take in a shuddering breath.

"You seemed upset when you left earlier. I came here to figure out why and to apologize for whatever I did," he says softly. _Could he really be that dumb, _I wonder, _to not know why I am upset?_

"You've been in here all day?" I ask, anger slipping into my voice, and he frowns at my tone, dropping his hand as he pulls back to look at me.

"Yes," he says slowly as he tries to think of why I'm so angry at him. Well, I have many, many reasons, but he doesn't know about Prim.

"While you were wasting your time waiting to manipulate me into thinking that you actually give a shit about me, Prim was in the arena getting seriously injured. She has a huge icicle lodged into her shoulder," I tell him, and he frowns, his eyes glittering in anger.

"I'm not trying to manipulate you, Katniss," he hisses as his clenches his fists in barely controlled anger. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes and sighs. Opening his eyes again, I can see that he has managed to calm himself. I don't believe him- not for one second. Of course he is trying to manipulate me- that's what he does. "Now how bad is it exactly? Tell me everything," he demands, all business now. I'm a little taken back but I let him change the subject.

"Not sure," I say slowly, "Nash won't take it out because he's afraid that it will bleed too much," I say stiffly, a little surprised by his all business tone.

"This shouldn't be too much of a problem. Just give me a moment to call it in," he says and turns his back on me and fishes a cell phone from his pocket. He mumbles into it, and I strain my ears to hear what he is saying but he is talking in whispers. It's a short conversation and with a small beep, the call is over. Sighing, he stops pacing and turns to look at me, a serious look on his face. Running his hands through his hair, he crosses to the chair he had been sitting in and bends down to pick something up off of the floor. I gasp when I see he has some of my knives.

"I really don't think you have any business snooping through my stuff," I tell him stiffly, while internally being thankful that I had hidden some on me. He just shakes his head at me.

"I really thought you understood, Katniss. I can't have you going after Coin," he murmurs gently to me. His gentleness grates against my ears and I want to hit him so badly- to hurt him like he has hurt me.

"And I thought you understood. I won't stand aside and let her hurt me like this. I let you do it in District 2," here Cato's eyes drop to the floor in faux shame, "and I'm done playing the victim. It's about time I took matters into my own hands," I tell him with a stubborn lift of my chin and continue, "besides, have you not been watching the games?! The gamemakers are targeting Prim's group, and who do you think they get their orders from?" I don't wait for an answer from him. "Coin gives them their orders. If I get rid of Coin, I'll get rid of the orders to murder my sister," I say breathlessly in anger.

"Katniss, please don't," he begs and my anger grows.

"Why, Cato? Please, tell me why you pretend to care so much because I'm dying to know." I look to him and wait for an answer.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. It would kill me to lose you," he says. He steps forward and grabs my hips, tugging me against him as his face urges me to understand, but I don't- his past actions tell me differently than his current words. I stiffen in his arms but don't try to pull away.

"It couldn't be because you care about me. I know that's not it- You've done nothing but manipulate me since we got here. Unfortunately, I was stupid enough to fall for it but not anymore. I can see through your fake mask." Cato stares at me in desperate confusion, trying to fool me into thinking that he is innocent. I've had enough. "Oh, Christ, Cato! I heard you and Johnanna talking earlier." He opens his mouth to protest or make an excuse but I don't let him. Pushing away from him, I bring my hand up and slap him hard across the face. "Don't even bother with the excuses. I'm done listening, and I'm done being weak. I am done with you, Cato," I declare and turn to go but he grabs my arm tightly. I wince at the sharp pain that shoots through my arm as he tries to contain his anger, but I don't try to pull away from him- I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Katniss, please. Let me explain at least!" he begs. I turn to glare at him, hatred burning passionately in my eyes.

"And just what would you like to explain, Cato?" I ask him coldly, disgust dripping from my voice. "Would you like to explain to me about my spine that almost always refuses to bend, and my will that is so lovely to break?" I ask him, throwing the words he said to Johanna earlier in his face. I watch in triumph as my words sink in. His face pales and his brow furrows as a panicked look floods his eyes.

"So you heard that, did you?" He asks me calmly, his voice is flat and uncaring. I watch as his face struggles to keep up with his nice guy act. His eyes are tight and I can see that he is frantically trying to think up an excuse. It gives me an odd thrill, knowing that I am beating him. The longer we talk, the more he exposes his real self. His grip on my arm tightens but I hold my ground. I'm sick of defecting to him.

"You didn't want me, Katniss! You snubbed me and my advances- we weren't together. I thought you would be happy that I had turned my attention elsewhere. Isn't that what you have wanted this entire time? For me to try to forget about you?" He asks, his chest heaving and his eyes glittering in anger. I open my mouth but nothing comes out- he's right. According to that logic, I have no reason to be upset. However, he's forgetting the big picture. He's forgetting everything he has put me through. "I got what I wanted from you elsewhere because you weren't interested. You can't be mad at me for that," he says, and a part of me feels silly for getting upset about him sleeping with Johanna. I shake my head, strengthening my resolve as I do and reminding myself that his word cannot be trusted.

"Maybe I'm not mad at you," I whisper and he frowns in confusion. With a jerk, I free my arm from his grasp. "I'm disgusted with myself for sleeping with your sorry ass. I'm disgusted because I let down my guard and started to view you as someone else- someone that you aren't. You're the same old Cato and it doesn't matter whether you're on medicine or not- you're a horrible person and I feel so stupid for forgetting that," I hiss. His reaction is instantaneous: his eyes sharpen in deadly anger and he takes a step towards me, opening his mouth to try to manipulate me. I don't even give him the chance. "Don't even bother, Cato. Just get out of my sight. Your presence sickens me." A part of my mind tells me to take it all back, that Prim's life depends on me getting along with him but I can't bring myself to apologize. I turn my back to him and start to walk away when he speaks.

"I don't even know why I try arguing with you. There is no winning when it comes to loving you," he whispers and I gasp in angry astonishment. Turning slowly, I glare at him. He looks uncomfortable under my unflinching gaze and a part of me celebrates my small victory.

"Loving me?!" I screech and run at him, ready to slap him again. His eyes light up in calculated delight, and I know that I've played into his hand- he wanted me to lose my temper. This knowledge isn't enough to stop me though- my anger fuels me on as I fly at him in a rage. I raise my hand, ready to slap him but his hand jerks up to grab mine. With a quick jerk, he twists my arm so that I am forced to turn my back to him. With an easy tug, I stumble back against him so that I am flush against his hard chest. Anger floods my face but his whispered words against my ear stop me from struggling.

"So this is how you want it? You want me to be the bad guy, Kat?" He asks me but I don't answer. "Well do you?" he presses and I simply shake my head, not knowing what he wants me to say. "I can do it, you know? I can be the bad guy," he whispers darkly and goosebumps steal up my arms. I try to pull away but his grip tightens on me until I feel that I can't breathe. "Ah, Katniss how I have missed our little fights," he whispers darkly into my ear and goosebumps race across my skin. "You know, I've been fighting this urge to hurt you for _so long _and I don't know how much longer I can resist it," he admits and I feel oddly comforted knowing that I was right about him. "Our time together is running out, my dear. The games are almost over," he rumbles and fear for my sister makes my knees weak. Cato chuckles and his muscles flex as he holds me up to keep me from falling to the floor. "Yes, Katniss, be afraid," he murmurs into my ear. I'm caught in his spell, my mind is hazy as his threatening whispers spin a entrancing spell around me. "Especially now. Your sister is in desperate need of help and quite frankly I'm not feeling too hospitable. I wonder what would happen if I were to call and cancel that first aid kit I was going to send to her-hmm?" I can feel his nose running through my hair as he inhales deeply. I can feel something digging into my backside, and I know that he is turned on. Memories of last night flood my head and I almost forget to breathe. His erection pulses, and it's enough to pull me out of my fog.

"You're despicable," I hiss, jerking my shoulder forward in an attempt to free myself. He tightens his grip on me, refusing to let me go.

"There's no use in trying to play nice anymore," he whispers and chuckles slightly. "You know, it's funny. But if I were you, I wouldn't be pissing me off- especially since Prim's life depends on me and not to mention Whytt is no longer here to protect you," his voice trails off and sickness rushes through me.

"I suppose I have you to thank for that," I mutter darkly as he traces his fingers up and down my arm lightly.

"You suppose correctly, Katniss," he drawls and jerks me around to face him. "Now that you are aware of just how hopeless and helpless you are without me, is there anything you would like to say to me?" He asks with a triumphant grin.

"Peeta was better," I growl vaguely, knowing that he will jump to the wrong conclusion. I've crossed a line and I know it so I'm not surprised when I feel the sting of his hand against my cheek.

"So you were lying to me? About how I had been the only one?" he growls, but I don't answer. I close my eyes as the pain takes my breath away. I taste blood in my mouth, and anger boils in me. I turn my head to look at him and with accurate precision spit into his face.

"Make of it what you want, Cato. I'm done talking to you," I hiss.

"You really are a stupid girl, aren't you?" He asks, his voice scratching deeply in anger. His piercing eyes hold mine as he reaches up with the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the spit from his cheek. "I suppose you leave me no choice," he sighs, turns away from me, and pulls his phone from his pocket. "Hey Crane, I need to cancel an order," he states and his declaration cuts me down.

"Wait!" I gasp desperately. Cato turns slowly, a grin on his face.

"Did you need something, Katniss?" He asks sweetly. It makes me sick that I am so dependent on him but Prim needs help.

"Don't cancel it," I murmur, looking down at my feet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Please repeat yourself." I clench my teeth in anger. He's playing with me.

"Don't cancel it- the first aid kit," I clarify and then add a whispered please.

"Look at me," he demands, and I do as I'm told. "Now ask again." His eyes are dancing in excitement. My stomach rolls in nausea.

"She needs help- please help her," I plead as I stare into his dead eyes.

"Why should I?" He asks, and I know he's trying to find how much of my soul I am willing to sell in order to save my sister.

"Because I am desperate," I admit and he chuckles.

"What do I get in return?" He presses and I know that he wants me to come home with him. I grit my teeth together.

"Wasn't last night good enough?" I ask desperately. Cato chews on his bottom lip as he studies me intently, shaking his head slowly.

"Come home with me." It's a demand, not a request. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as images of my home in District 12 flash through my head. I imagine dinner times with Prim, Peeta, and my mom. It's not that hard of a decision and I know it. If I don't agree to this, there is no way that Prim will make it through.

"Yes," I whisper, not daring to look at him. I feel oddly numb as I try to not think of what I have just agreed to. I want to ask him what would be different this time around but I know the answer: nothing will change. Cato won't change. The abuse won't change. The room fills with silence and I know that I've surprised him by finally giving in.

"I'll get an interview set up so that you can inform the public of your decision," he says simply and I nod my head curtly. He takes a step towards me and I feel his fingers tug my chin up so that I am looking at him. "Shall we celebrate, my love?" he questions me as his eyes focus in on my lips.

Tears burn in my eyes as he lowers his mouth to claim mine. His lips move against mine but I don't respond. He pulls away with a shaky laugh.

"Oh, no, Katniss. That won't do. I need you to kiss me like you mean it- like you did last night," he whispers seductively as his fingers trace my lips. Anger courses through me at his low blow. What had I been thinking last night? I know the answer to that: I hadn't been thinking. I had been trying to escape the nightmare that was going on in the arena- I needed a distraction, I needed someone to fill the loneliness I was feeling. A tear slips unwillingly down my cheek and Cato watches it with a sick satisfaction. His eyes grow dark and he growls deep in his throat. Just as he lowers to take my mouth once again, there is a knock on the door.

I open the door and find a shocked Effie on the other side. Her eyes slide behind me to look at Cato and then lock back onto me. Dred pools in my stomach, and I start to feel light headed.

"Prim?" I ask simply, my voice faint and strained. I falter, and stumble backwards. Cato's strong arms catch me. My mind doesn't register that I am in the arms of a monster- all I can think of is my sister.

"Well, give us some answers, woman. What the hell happened?" he asks her harshly, and she snaps out of it.

"Avanti has snuck away from the group- she wanted to find the perfect handle to complete Prim's slingshot. It was supposed to be a get well gift," Effie says, and we both look at her, waiting for the bad news that is sure to come. "Elicity is following her," she says weakly and strength flows back into me, followed by anger.

"Don't scare me like that again, Effie Trinket!" I yell. I push away from Cato and stalk towards Effie. Thinking that I am coming for her, she flinches away from me. Ignoring her, I push past her, heading towards the living room. Cato follows after me, and we get there just in time to watch as Elicity bursts from the bushes she's been hiding in and tackles Avanti to the ground. Avanti cries out in surprise as Elicity yanks her to lie on her back. Tears pool in Avanti's eyes, and her lip trembles fearfully.

"Please, don't," she begs, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I want to see my mommy again," she whispers. Elicity's face hardens.

"Well, that's just too bad isn't it?" she sneers, and her hand flies forward, effectively slitting her throat from ear to ear. Avanti's eyes grow wide as she looks up fearfully at Elicity. A single tear escapes her eyes and runs down her cheek.

"I love you, mama," she gurgles, blood gushing from the horrific wound on her neck. The cameras focus in on her eyes, and I watch as the light slowly fades from them. Horror and disgust fills me, and the boom of the cannon makes me jump. I don't realize that I am crying until I feel Cato's fingers gently brushing the tears from my cheek.

* * *

**AN: I know it has been SO LONG since I've updated. Honestly, school took over my life, I had a lot of personal issues, and then I got engaged so my life has been CrAzY! But school ends next week and I'm working on it. For awhile, I refused to work on it because I wasn't happy with what I had written. I'm a lot happier now and should be working a lot more smoothly in the upcoming chapter. **


	17. A Series of Unfortunate Events

Chapter Sixteen- A Series of Unfortunate Events

The next two weeks go by slowly- so slowly, it is painful. When I was in the arena, time flew by without meaning. I never really knew how many days or hours had passed; day and night lost meaning when you could be killed at any moment. Watching Prim in the arena is like living in hell. I am painfully aware of every single second that passes. And I dread that each second seems to tick by so laboriously slow.

During the first week, not much happens in the games. The cameras flicker aimlessly between tributes. Nash and Prim take the week to mourn the loss of Avanti and to let their wounds heal. It is a close call with Prim. The icicle had hit her just right and as soon as Nash removes it from her shoulder, she begins to gush blood. Luckily, Cato sends some sort of spray medicine that causes her bleeding to drastically slow down along with an extensive first aid kit. After an hour of stitching, Nash declares that she should be okay as long as she is careful.

Prim is in the middle of stitching Nash up when things get tense once Avanti's cannon goes off, and Prim realizes that she has snuck away from them, she loses it. I watch in horror as Prim lets out a blood curling scream. With her bad arm she knocks Nash away, opening her wound up. Blood gently seeps from it. Jumping up, Prim runs from the shelter screaming for her friend. The cameras flash to Slate and Nettie in their camp. They pause, turning their heads as they hear the far off screaming. Without words, they rise, gather their weapons and set off towards Prim. In the end, Nash has to force her back to their camp where Cato sends medicine to knock her out and without the screaming to guide them, Nettie and Slate are forced to return to their camp.

As Prim and Nash recover, Beaufort is put in charge of gathering food, and it isn't long before Cato is having to send food to their group because of his brother's incompetence- not that it is all Beaufort's fault. The gamemakers throw all sorts of things at Prim's group- be it more falling icicles, pelting hail, freezing rain and wind, or a small blizzard that has snow piled up thickly in the woods and the surrounding mountain. Whatever is the cause, it seems like each new day brings some other environmental anomaly with it.

The Sponsor's room grows into a tense place as everyone waits for the Capitol to get what they want- Prim's life. All eyes seem to be trained on me, and all I can do is stare at the screen and watch. However, life in the arena goes on. About halfway through the first week, Joule is unlucky enough to run across Nettie. It's over before it has even begun. Nettie simply plucks an icicle from a nearby branch and with frightening agility, shoves it deep into Joule's temple. It's a slow and painful death. Nettie leaves Joule behind, screaming on the ground as her brain swells and puts pressure on her skull. The Sponsor's room is deathly quiet as Joule starts to jerk in seizures, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. Blood spills from her mouth and I know that she has severed her tongue. Vomit joins the gushing blood as her body spasms in the cold snow. The loud echoing of the canon fills the clearing, and her body lays deathly still as snow gently covers her. And so it goes- the long, drawn out games continue until I fear that I am to go mad.

Cato, on the other hand, takes in everything calmly. Each day he sits beside me, watching the games silently, for the most part. The only time he talks is to yell about the stupidity of his brother. I am expected to be with him constantly; his presence in combination with the stress of the games is enough to make me want to slit his throat, but I know that I need him- Prim needs him. Each time something needs to be sent into the arena, he quickly takes care of it without torturing me; leaving me to wonder about his continued nice guy act. The only time I am left to my own devices is when he is off, trying to set up an interview with Flickerman so that my decision to go home with him can be announced.

As the beginning of the second week dawns, I'm lying in bed in Cato's apartment. He had insisted that I stay with him at night, and I knew that there was no point in arguing. The only nights I get to myself are the ones when Cato needs to let out his pent up frustration- he spends those nights with Johanna only to come to my room after and slide into bed next to me.

Beside me, Cato lays as he studies the screen on the wall: snow is falling thickly, adding to the two feet of snow on the ground. The cameras start the day by following Nettie and Slate hunting in the woods. Once they get back to camp, the camera abruptly switches from them roasting a rabbit over a fire to show a frantic Elicity stumbling through the snow by their camp. Her lips are blue, and there are icicles forming at her nostrils. Elicity is a few yards away from the shelter, and it's not looking too good for her. Her other shelter she had made, wasn't designed to stand up to the harsh wind and heavy snow. It had collapsed and had sent her out in search of a new haven.

Unfortunately for her, she doesn't get the chance to find one. As soon as she sees the two careers her shoulders drop and defeat rushes to her eyes. She stops walking and sinks to her knees as the couple stalk up to their prey. I watch unflinchingly as the two toy with their prey, pushing her around. They urge her to run for her life only to tackle her to the ground again. Their laughter fills the air as Elicity cries for mercy.

Eventually, Slate sighs, his face growing serious. "I suppose that's enough entertainment for the Capitol," he murmurs and looks to Nettie. "Finish her," he says simply. With a step forward, Nettie snaps her neck.

Next to me, Cato lets out a low whistle and turns to face me on the bed. "And just think- that could be Prim," he says softly. I gasp as pain stabs at my heart. I study his face, trying to determine his intentions with his remark; his face doesn't give me any hints. As tears gather in my eyes, I roll away from him, intending to leave the bed, but he grabs my arm as I try to rise. "Where do you think you are going, my dear?" Cato asks lazily. I turn to face him.

"To get ready," I tell him stiffly, and he tugs on my arm, turning me to face him. His eyes greedily take in my face.

"What's the hurry? We don't need to be in the Sponsor's room for a couple hours," he argues.

"You want the truth?" I counter as I struggle to contain my emotions. He watches me in fascination.

"Always," he whispers.

"Because I want to get away from you for a little bit," I mutter and try to jerk my arm from his. It doesn't work. With an unrelenting tug, he jerks me down onto the bed and hovers over me. His eyes are alight in anger and delight.

"Ah, I can't wait to get you home, Kat," he murmurs, as he drops his mouth to tease and nibble at my neck. I try to wiggle away from him, but his hands prevent me. They grasp at my body, refusing to let me leave. "Enjoy it, Katniss," he hisses against my ear and then gently bites down. I have to strain to keep a moan from escaping. His hand slides down my body, past my hip and to my knee where he pauses and then starts a trip back up my thigh. His hand goes between my legs and gropes me through my clothing. My mind wants to get as far from his as possible but my body wants- no _needs_ to stay. It's not long before I respond to him. With a feral growl, I grab at his clothing but he stops it from going any further. Pulling back, he looks down at me, our heavy breathing mixing together. He studies my face in awe and I stare back at him, wondering what is going on in his dark mind. "Lord, I'll never get tired of you," he declares and that is exactly what I'm afraid of- that he'll forever want me there, beside him.

* * *

A few days later the camera shows Lametta and Tinsel as they huddle together in a tiny cave away from the horrible weather that Prim is experiencing. Tinsel moans and groans as fever brings him in and out of consciousness. His foot is propped up on a rock, in the vain attempt of trying to keep the swelling in his ankle down. The tips of his toes are turning a nasty shade of black that indicates frostbite. Beside him, Lametta moans hopelessly and cries out for a sponsor to send something to save her brother but no one does. That night, in a moment of level headedness, Tinsel begs his twin to put him out of his misery- that there won't be two winners, and he is only slowing her down. Emotions run high as the cameras show the two twins, crying as Lametta smashes his skull with rock.

As the second week draws to an end, I find myself especially restless. The snow in the arena is thick and is still falling steadily from the sky. Prim, Nash, and Beaufort shiver miserably, trying to keep their fire alive. Beside me, Cato pulls me closer to his side and I let him as I desperately watch Prim onscreen. Haymitch sits on the couch opposite us, trying to drown himself in alcohol to avoid the drama on the screen. Effie flits about the room, moaning sadly each time she sees Prim's frozen figure. With each new lament from Effie, my muscles grow tighter until I feel as though I am about to snap. Cato must sense my tension because he looks at me in concern.

"This isn't good for you," he says softly with a soft kiss to my brow. I frown, not liking when he tries to act like a good guy. It never makes sense to me but I suspect that that is why he does it. Ever since I had agreed to go home with him, he had slipped back into his good guy routine. I knew it was hard for him, I watched everyday as anger and hate burned in his eyes but he kept it from coming out against me. He tried to make things better for me, and I knew that he was worried that this was all too much for me- that soon I would simply snap and take out all my hate and anger out on the Capitol.

"I'm fine. Watching isn't the hard part- surviving it is," I tell him stiffly, and he sighs as he runs his nose through the hair by my ear. I shift uncomfortably on the couch, and across from me, Haymitch makes a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. With a sigh, Cato pulls away.

"I just wish that something would happen. Usually they make sure the games are so exciting- with tons of action. Instead, we are watching people slowly die. I'm surprised they haven't ended it, you've heard the rumors. Everyone is pissed about Avanti's death," Cato says, but I don't respond. I can't focus on conversation right now.

On screen, Nash lets out an aggravated sigh as he stares out at the falling snow. Beside him Prim shivers softly, a slight frown on her face. "This isn't normal," she comments quietly, and Nash's eyes tighten but he doesn't respond. "Nash, we need to move. We're stuck in this bad weather bubble- maybe somewhere else in the arena it's not like this," she says and Nash shakes his head.

"I have a feeling that it wouldn't matter where we go, Prim," he tells her truthfully, and it's then that I realize that he knows the Capitol is focusing on them.

"But you don't know that, Nash. I understand your doubts but I think we should give it a try. This may just be part of the arena," she says and I understand her logic but I also know what she doesn't- the Capitol is targeting them.

"I think we should move too," Beaufort calls out miserably from the back of the shelter. Nash's eyes tighten in aggravation.

"I really don't think you should get a say in the matter," Nash mumbles in annoyance.

"And why's that?" Beaufort whines.

"Because your contribution to this team is next to none," he growls, and Beaufort makes a face to his back. Nash sighs and his shoulders drop. "I think you may be right though," he says quietly, and Prim avidly studies his face. "It's a risk, but we can try moving. Maybe we can get away from this horrid weather."

A knot settles in my stomach. I don't know if I agree with their plan of action but there is nothing that I can do. I numbly watch as they pack up their stuff and head out into the biting cold snow. I turn my head, not wanting to watch what could be a colossal mistake and my eyes meet with Finnick. His eyes hold a message for me, and I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with the remaining knives I gave him for safekeeping. Once I had told Cato that I would stay with him, I didn't want to run the risk of losing the remainder of my knives so I had secretly sought Finnick out and asked him to hold onto them. I'm pulled from the past as Finnick motions for me to join him, a look of urgency on his face. With a sigh I get up from the couch. Cato reaches out to grab my hand.

"Where are you going, Kat?" he asks, and I wince slightly at his nickname for me.

"I'm not feeling well. I need some air and to use the restroom," I tell him as I watch Finnick step out of the room into the hall. I hold my breath, waiting for him to tell me to forget it but surprisingly he doesn't. He studies my face, her eyes lingering on the dark circles under my eyes. Concern clouds his features but with a tight nod of his head, he lets my hand go and leans back against the couch.

With a sigh of relief, I rush into the hallway. Finnick is there right away, pulling me down the hall and pushing me into an empty and dark room. "What is it, Finnick?" I press him immediately, anxiety churning in my stomach. I squint my eyes, trying to make his figure out but it's useless. I feel something pushed into my hands and whatever it is glints dully in the dark. I gasp. My knives.

"There is talk going around, Katniss," he says tightly. "I think this is all going to come to an end soon and no one knows exactly how it's going to happen. Please take these back. I know you gave them to me to keep them from Cato, but I want you to be safe. I just don't trust Coin," he says, and I nod.

"I just wish I wasn't so out of practice," I murmur and he laughs.

"I think that when you come face to face with Coin, it won't matter. You'll hit your target," he encourages me and adds, "you always do."

"You mean _if_ I come face to face with her," I challenge him, and he shakes his head in disappointment.

"Don't think like that Katniss. And don't worry either. There are a lot of people salivating for her head- one of us is bound to run into her," he says.

"Why do you want her dead?" the question slips from my mouth without me even thinking about it.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confusion clear in his voice.

"I mean, why do _you _want her dead? I know why I do, but I don't know why you do," I tell him honestly.

"She had a chance to change it, Katniss. She could have easily gotten rid of the games but she didn't. I can't live my life worried that my children are going to be reaped. I can't and I won't," he declares passionately.

"Those are some strong words about children for someone who isn't even married," I comment drolly.

"Ah, Katniss, there are quite a few things that you don't know about me," he murmurs and then slips through the door and disappears. I stay where I am, frowning after him. _What is that supposed to mean? _

I don't get the time to wonder for long. I hear the staccato clicks of Effie's heels outside in the hallway, and soon I can hear her singsong voice calling for me. With a deep breath, I step out into the lit hallway.

"I'm here, Effie," I call after her. She turns around quickly, her wig teetering precariously from her head. Her eyes are wild as she looks at me. My heart does a double pump as my mind jumps to Prim.

"Oh no, this won't do at all," she says with a frown. "We must get you presentable!" she exclaims as she charges at me. She loops her arm through mine and drags me towards the elevator.

"Presentable?!" I shout, "Presentable for what?" My voice squeaks in agitation and I clear it.

"An interview, Katniss. Caesar Flickerman has decided that he has enough time to squeeze you in," she tells me as if this is common knowledge. "Now quit asking questions and hurry up! Your stylist is waiting," she scolds, but I pay her no mind. I'm too busy focused on my upcoming interview and the fact that I'm going to have to go in front of all of Panem and announce that I am choosing to go home with a murderer and a rapist.

* * *

As soon as my stylist leaves, my pacing starts as I try my best to fight the nausea that is threatening to undo me. The heavy skirt of my dress tangles around me and I stumble, sinking to my knees. I can't believe that I am about to do this- to admit to all of Panem that I have chosen to go home with Cato. The worst part is that I won't be able to explain my actions- I won't be able to tell them that if I didn't do this, my sister would be lost. My shoulders hunch as I imagine my mom watching this interview. What will she think? Just then Peeta floods my mind and a small sob escapes my mouth.

Oh, Peeta. What have I done? I've betrayed him beyond forgiveness. I've slept with Cato- I've let him fool me and then manipulate me into agreeing to going him. I can hear Haymitch's drunken footsteps outside my door and I rush to the door.

"Haymitch, I need your cell phone!" I gasp desperately, and he looks at me like I've gone crazy.

"You know that I don't have one, Katniss. If I had one, you would too- we are both mentors after all," he says, and I'm surprised at how clear his speech is.

"Well, I know that you know how to get one. I need it, Haymitch. I have to warn my mom- Peeta of what is about to happen," I beg him and he nods.

"I'll be back in a second," he vows and sets off down the hall. I return to sit on my bed as I furiously think of what I am going to tell them. Sickness rolls through me, and I have to breathe deeply to prevent it from coming up. It's long before there is a knock on the door and Haymitch steps into the room, a cell phone in his hand.

"Make it fast," he says simply and tosses it to me, "you're interview starts in ten minutes."

_Ten minutes?_ That's not enough to call both my mom and Peeta. I barely take a second to figure out who I am going to call. I chew on my freshly painted nails as I wait for the call to connect. The phone rings and rings and rings and just when I think that no one is going to answer I hear _his _voice.

"Peeta!" I gasp out and the other line grows silent except for his heavy breathing.

Then finally: "Katniss," he sighs in relief. "How are you doing? I was so worried when Whytt showed up here," he says and I simply shake my head.

"I don't have a long time to talk. I'm fine, Peeta. I miss you," I sob and take a deep breath. I have to stay strong- I have to let him know what is about to happen.

"I know," he whispers, "look, I hate to say it but I don't have a lot time. There is a mandatory screening that should be happening here soon," he tells me and I know that my interview is going to be live.

"It's me. They're interviewing me," I whisper.

"About what?" he asks, suspicion thick in his voice.

"I-" I falter here, trying to think of how to tell him. Silence hangs over the phone and I can hear him sigh.

"This can't be good," he says, and the sadness in his voice pushes me over.

"Oh, Peeta, I'm so stupid. I fell for his lie," I gush, and Peeta holds his breath as he listens. "I was so worried, Peeta. I went to him and-" I stop here, not daring to tell him that I had slept with him.

"Ah," he comments vaguely, his voice is tight and I hear the pain in it. "So he got to you, did he?" he asks calmly, and my answer is a small sob.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

"Don't worry. It doesn't matter. You'll be coming home soon. You won't have to be around him anymore," he says, and I want to cry.

"No, Peeta," I counter. "I won't be coming home," I tell him, and his breath catches.

"Why not?" he demands, anger filling his tone.

"If Prim dies, I won't be leaving the Capitol alive," I tell him bluntly.

"Katniss, no-" I cut him off.

"Yes, Peeta. And if she survives, Cato will make sure I go home with him- He's holding Prim against me, Peeta. I had to agree to go home with him," I try to explain. "That's what this interview is," I say, "it's me announcing my decision to return home with him."

"Home?!" Peeta yells and I have to hold the phone away from my ear. "Your home is in District 12, Katniss! Your home is with me!" I open my mouth to agree when my door flies open, and a peacekeeper steps into the room.

"Peeta, I have to go," I tell him monotonously.

"Katniss, no!" he yells. I don't respond. As the peacekeepers steps towards me, I lower the phone from my ear, and I hear the faint and final click as I press the button to disconnect the phone. I drop it onto the bed and step forward to meet the peacekeeper in the center of my room.

"It's time to go," he says as he joins me.

"And why exactly am I being escorted by a peacekeeper?" I ask him and his eyes tighten.

"I don't ask questions- I just do as I'm told," he tells me stiffly and the sight of Effie hovering worriedly in the doorway stills my tongue. I know this can't be good. Usually Effie would be the only one to escort me to my interview. My mind goes back to my conversation with Finnick earlier, and I wonder if they are upping protection on Coin.

Our footsteps echo around us as I stumble after the peacekeeper. I am escorted directly to the auditorium where the interviews are held. My mind races as I try to think of what I am going to say- how do I tell everyone in Panem that I have been beaten once again by Cato?

The cold air of the auditorium attacks my bared arms as I am ushered towards the grand stage. Right at the edge of the stage, I am jerked to a stop. "Stay here until you are announced," the peacekeeper orders, and I itch to disobey him. Fortunately for him- and probably me- Effie reappears at my side.

"Now, Katniss, I don't need to remind you of stage etiquette, do I?" she asks me with a condescending frown. The old Katniss would have made a joke at her expense- would have done something that would have horrified her and set her into a worrying fit. I'm not that old Katniss anymore though. I don't have the energy to pull pranks. Instead I reassure her.

"Of course you don't, Effie," I murmur as I shuffle my feet anxiously. I hate being away from the games. It makes me feel like something bad is about to happen- like me not watching will be the downfall of Prim.

I peer out over the stage, and in the middle Caesar Flickerman waves cheerily at me from his chair. I wave lamely back and move my eyes to the thick, heavy curtain that separates us from the hungry citizens of the Capitol. Their cheers are growing louder, and I briefly wonder what the Capitol has told them to get them here.

"Remember, Katniss," Effie whispers furiously in my ear and I'm surprised that for once she doesn't sound like she is from the Capitol, "Coin will be watching this- don't screw it up." She softly pats me on my arm and onstage, the curtains start to rise. The crowd goes wild, screaming and I close my eyes, trying to steel myself for what is to come.

"Thank you!" Caesar shouts repeatedly, as he bows to the crowd. His laughter fills the air, as he smiles into the bright lights. Waving his hand, he attempts to shush the crowd. It takes a few minutes but eventually the crowd quiets down. "Thank you," Caesar laughs with one last wave of his hand. He starts to pace the stage, a pensive look on his face.

"I know that you must all be wondering what this is about. After all, we've never held any type of interview _during _the games before," Caesar pauses here as the crowd starts to cheer. Caesar stops pacing and stands in the middle of the stage smiling as he waits for silence. Once he has it, he continues, "I must admit that even _I _don't know what this is about. Now, before I introduce our honored guest, let me give you a heads up. During this interview, we will be interrupted so that we may get quick updates on the game," he says and the air is filled with mystified whispers. "Yes, I know it is very strange," Caesar says with a frown. Suddenly his face is filled with joy and excitement, "-strange but if it weren't to be like this, then I would have never gotten this headset!" he cries as he turns his head so that the crowd can see the tiny black earpiece that is inserted in his ear and explains that it is for him to receive updates on the game. My stomach drops, not liking the sound of that. "Now! Without any further ado- here is Miss. Katniss. Everdeen!" He cries with short pauses between each of my names.

I step out into the spotlight, a tight smile on my face. I wave gingerly to the crowd and duck my head, trying to keep the light from blinding me. Tripping over my feet, I make it to Caesar and shake hands with him. He leads me to my chair and has me sit. We have to, once again, wait for the crowd to stop hollering.

"So Katniss Everdeen, tell me, why do we have the honor of your presence tonight?" he asks with a big smile.

"I just missed you so much, Caesar," I tell him with a sly grin and he cracks up laughing, the crowd eagerly joining in.

"Yes, yes, I am sure of that," he gushes and laughs. "I also understand that Cato is to be joining us a little later," here the crowd whispers mysteriously, "and I must admit that the suspense of this all is killing me!" He gushes and his face flushes in excitement as laughter pours from his grinning mouth. Suddenly, his head tilts to the side, his laughter faltering as his hand goes to his ear. "Now, before we begin, let's take a moment to get a quick update on the game," he says and I squirm uncomfortably in my chair. The lights above my head beat down on me and sweat runs down between my breasts. Caesar leans forwards and pats my leg but I don't respond at all. Apprehension races up my neck, making the hairs stand to attention. I don't want them watching me watch the games- it's too personal. But of course I don't have a choice.

I turn in my chair towards the huge screen to the right of the stage as the lights dim to pitch black and watch. Nettie and Slate are gathering weapons as their fire flickers, glinting unforgivingly against the steel of their throwing stars.

"How are we going to find them?" Nettie asks as she stares out into the frigid winter. Cold drenches my body. I know who they are talking about- Prim.

"I'm not sure. I just know that we can't afford _not_ to find them. The games have been going on for far too long. We need to end this- to come up on top," Slate says as he straps some more weapons across his chest.

"And then what?" Nettie asks softly and behind her, Slate stops, his body tight in apprehension. He turns to look at her back.

"Hey," he croons softly as he comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't do that. We promised that we wouldn't let what was happening between us get in the way," he says, and she turns in his arms to face him.

"I didn't know it was going to be this hard," she confesses and buries her face in his broad chest.

"Don't worry, Nettie, I won't let anything happen to you," he says and kisses the top of her head. Her body trembles as she sobs.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she says and then the screen flicks to black.

Noise fills the auditorium as flight floods the stage once again. Caesar stares at me as he waits patiently for the crowd to be quiet. I try to process the small moment that I had just seen. Knowing that this deadly pair was out, looking to end the games made me want to get up and leave the stage. I open my mouth to suggest we reschedule this interview, when my eyes lock on Cato's who is standing offstage. He gives me a tight nod of his head and I take a deep breath, refocusing on Caesar. The crowd quiets down and Caesar takes a few more moments to study me before he begins the interview.

"So before we call Cato out onto the stage so you can reveal your big news," here he pauses and waggles his eyebrows at me, causing me to blush and the crowd to release obnoxious catcalls, "let's catch up on how you are doing and your take on the games so far. We all know that your sister means so much to you and I'm sure we would love to hear how you have been handling the stress of her being in the games," the crowd cheers and the lights blind me.

The interview officially begins with Caesar asking me questions on the games: what I thought about it, what I would do differently if I was Prim, my opinions on each tributes' deaths, what I thought about Elicity stalking Prim's group, and my opinion on Nash.

Time drags by slowly as question after question are thrown my way. The longer the interview lasts, the more I struggle to provide Caesar with appropriate and interesting answers. My frustration mounts as Caesar calls Cato out on stage and asks him the same questions I had been asked, with a little more focus on his brother. During the interview, Cato has to take my hand and squeezes it unforgivingly in a warning for me to keep calm- that this will be over before I know it.

Finally, Caesar turns to me, a serious look in his eyes. "So, Katniss, tell us. What do you plan on doing after the games?" Silence descends through the massive auditorium and all eyes are on me. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. I expect the audience to start to whisper amongst themselves but they are deathly quiet. I close my mouth and shake my head, trying to think of how to say this. Beside me Cato stiffens and I can feel his eyes on me.

"Well Caesar," I mutter and stop, my mind racing. Cato shuffles in his chair, nudging me in the process." I guess it all depends on how the games-" I stop talking as, with a strange tilt of his head, Caesar holds a hand up to me as he listens to a voice in his headset and I know that he is receiving orders to update the games.

"Before we get your answer, let's take a moment and get caught up on anything that we might have missed in the past hour or so," Flickerman announces with a friendly grin. Uneasiness stills through me, and I hate that I am on a stage for all of Panem to see.

The theatre darkens as screens flicker on, connecting with the news feed from the arena. A shot of the woods is shown and the cameras slowly zoom in on a frozen river. On one side of the river it is snowing heavily and wind is ripping through the trees, filling the air with a mournful howl. I hear the crunching of approaching footsteps and watch as Prim's frozen face appears on screen.

"Hold on, Prim!" Nash calls out as he jogs to catch up with her. Prim shivers miserably as Nash joins her side. "I don't trust this," he hedges as he studies the calm far side of the river.

"But Nash, look! This is the end of this part of the arena. We just need to cross the river," Prim presses. Beaufort joins them at the river's edge.

"What the hell are we waiting for? I'm ready to get out of this shitty weather," he whines.

"It doesn't feel right," Nash insists and Beaufort rolls his eyes.

"Well, then you stay here. I'm going across," Beaufort declares and steps out onto the ice. Groaning fills the air as he slowly makes his way across the river. Tension fills the air as everyone holds their breath, waiting to see if the ice will hold his weight. Once he makes it to the other side he turns and gives Prim and Nash a thumbs up. Nash is still frowning, staring at the ice.

"Come on, Nash! Nothing is wrong!" Prim whines as she tugs at his sleeve. He turns his face to study her and then gives her a curt nod.

"Fine, but you're going before me. You weigh less and I would hate to compromise the security of the ice," he tells her and Prim nods, her eyes growing wide as she finally realizes that this is dangerous. "Go on but take it slowly," Nash tells her. "If the ice starts to crack get down on all four and crawl across- it will distribute your weight," he advises and she nods.

With a deep breath, she steps out onto the ice. It groans under her weight and she pauses, looking back to Nash. Fear dances in her eyes and my palms twitch, wanting to grab her and protect her myself. Cato slides his hand into mine and squeezes lightly. I inhale a shuddering breath.

"Go on, Prim," Nash shouts above the ravaging wind, "it's normal for it to make that noise." With a delicate nod of her head she continues. The ice continues to moan underneath her. The closer she gets to the middle, the more the ice protests her weight.

"Go back!" The exclamation fills the air and is followed by a crash. Everyone looks at me and I'm surprised that in my anxiety, I have jumped from my chair, knocking it down.

"Katniss, sit down!" Cato hisses beside me but I pay him no mind as I watch Prim.

Each of her movements on the ice is met with a splintering noise. Her head snaps up, her eyes looking straight into an unseen camera. Groans fill the air along with the sound of ice breaking. My hands start to shake. With one loud crack, Prim lets out a whimper and starts to fall. The screen goes black, plunging the auditorium into darkness.


	18. A View to Kill

Chapter Seventeen—A View to Kill

The sound of a canon fills the air and stops everything. I know what this cannon means- I know what it announces. It announces the death of my sister and in turn, the death of me. The sound of it is enough to steal all warmth from my body, and to rob all hope from me.

My eyes lock with Flickerman's and I watch as he tilts his head to the side, listening to whoever is talking in his ear piece. His eyes flick to mine and I see apprehension, fear, and a deep sadness in them. It's then that I know for sure that it is all over- that all of our planning and strategizing had been in vain. My eyes slide offstage and I can see Effie fall to her knees, her mouth open in a broken sob. I watch in fascination as she breaks down. I take it all in as if I'm not really there. I hear no sound. I feel nothing. I only see. I watch numbly as Effie's shoulders start to shake uncontrollably. Someone moves beside me, and it's enough to break me from my trance.

"Prim!" Effie moans and I turn my head away to look out over the confused crowd. Their eyes are wide- and some of them are crying. It's the crying that evokes some sort of feeling in me.

Cold bursts through me, racing towards my heart, and the pain almost makes me fall to the ground. All thought and reason fly from my body. I take a small step forward, my eyes turning wild as I approach the audience. Anger shakes me as I watch one girl fall to the ground crying.

_Why should she be upset? _I think angrily to myself, _It's her fault this has happened. There would be no games if there was no one to watch them. _Just as I make up my mind to put her out of her misery, Caesar's voice stops me.

"Ladies and gentleman, that is all the time we have for today," Casaer announces, tension lacing his voice as he edges away from me. I turn my gaze on him and I can see overwhelming fear in his eyes.

From backstage I can hear yelling and the pounding of frantic feet. "Get Coin secured! Everdeen has fallen and Katniss is not in custody," I whip my head around and see a group of peacekeepers slowly advancing on me. Confused whispers from the crowd fill the air. My body tenses at the threat they pose to me and I know that this is going to come down to a dirty fight.

"I'm sorry to announce this, but Primrose Everdeen has just died," Caesar confirms what I already knew deep down. He continues to talk but it runs together, turning into a illogical mumble in my head. The crowd gasps in horror and comprehension of what is going on onstage. A mangled cry flies from my lips, and I'm about to run at the advancing peacekeepers when I feel someone grabbing my arm tightly.

"Katniss, don't do it. It's not worth your life," Cato pleads of me but it's a request that I cannot grant.

I turn my dead eyes to Cato and with lightning fast reflexes; I grab the knife that is strapped to my thigh and shove it into his side. Then I am bounding off stage, towards the crowd of Capitol citizens. Screams fill the air as the sound of Cato's body hitting the floor reaches my ears.

"Find Coin, now! Let them know that it is not secure!" There are yells everywhere and I know that I have to find Coin before they get her to safety. I use the surging of the crowd to disguise myself.

They all surge towards the doors, tripping over themselves in a panic and I let their numbers drag me towards the exit. I come upon a peacekeeper and just as he goes to talk into his two-way earpiece, I attack. I jump at him, arms flailing but I know what I am doing. It's not long before my wild attack has him on the defense. He staggers as he tries to escape my grasp. I see him reaching for the gun at his side and this move gives me the perfect chance. With one powerful lunge, I grab his head and jerk with all my might. He drops to the floor at my feet and I don't even take the time to look down.

I nimbly zigzag through the crush of the crowd, pushing people out of the way. I hear someone shouting my name and around me, people start to whisper as they try to find the dangerous Katniss Everdeen. I hunch over, trying to make myself as small as possible. My eyes scan the people around me, trying to find the snitch. It doesn't take me long.

The man is standing a few feet away and has his back turned away from me so that he can shout towards the stage where a group of peacekeepers are swarming. With a few quick steps, I am behind him. I don't think twice. Reaching up, I grab his yellow hair and jerk his head back. Unsheathing my other knife from where I have it strapped to my thigh, I easily slice through his exposed neck. He makes a guttural noise as I push him face down on the floor. Around me, the crowd still surges towards the exit, unaware of the murder I have just committed.

I once again blend into the crowd, making sure to keep my head down so I am not spotted, and it's not long before I'm in grand foyer of the auditorium. The lights flicker and some sort of sixth sense awareness rushes through me. My eyes travel the perimeter of the foyer and lock on Finnick's determined face. He's not looking at me though. He's staring across the room a little to my left. He takes a step forward, his face grim and serious. That sixth sense awareness flares within me, prompting me to turn and see what he's after. What I see has me grabbing the other knife I have strapped to my thigh.

Coin is inconspicuously making her way towards the exit, her head down and few unmarked body guards hovering around her. I take a step forward but stop when I see Cato standing at the doors to the auditorium. I inhale sharply, wincing as his voice fills the air.

"Katniss stop!" He screams and everything grows deathly quiet. All movement halts as people try to determine my location. Coins bodyguards stop her progress, unsure of where I am.

Cato starts towards me, limping slightly, and I know that this is it. This will be my only chance. I jump into action, pushing random people aside as I charge at Coin. Gasps fill the air. People jump out of my way, clearing my path to the president and giving me a clear target. Just as I lift my knife up to throw, I feel the air get knocked from me as I am tackled to the ground.

"Katniss, stop and think about this for a second!" Cato urges roughly in my ear. I feel the sticky warmth of his blood soaking my dress. "Think about your mother! She needs you alive," he whispers in a panic. I know that he is grasping at straws, trying to reach me at some level but it won't work. Prim is gone and I don't care. "If that doesn't work, think about Peeta!" he cries desperately and that name makes me pause for a moment. It momentarily takes my pain away. Whispers fill the air around us as thoughts about Peeta fill me. I hear someone whisper Prim's name and the spell is broken. Anger and pain swarm me and put me back into action.

I wriggle underneath him, jerking my arm free from his heavy weight. Using my fingers, I dig them into his stab wound and am met with his hiss of pain as he rolls away from me. As soon as his weight leaves me, I am up, fully intent on ending Coin's life.

Her body guards have formed a protective circle around her as they eye my wearily. I hear one of them radio for immediate backup, and I know I don't have long. I take a step away from Cato's body, edging to the side, hoping to catch a glimpse of my target.

Cato's moans of discomfort reach my ears and I hear him begging me to stop. I don't pay him much attention because in that instant I see her. Without a second thought, I jump into action: raising my knife, I take a fleeting second to take aim, and I let it fly. A horrified scream fills the air as something warm wraps around my ankle. It jerks me, causing me to fall of the ground. It doesn't take me but a second to realize that Cato has tried, unsuccessfully, to stop me from trying to kill Coin.

Grunting, I kick Cato's hand away as I struggle to pull Coin into view. I see a body laying deathly still on the floor. Happiness floods through me, temporarily washing away the pain and hurt. Pounding footsteps march towards me but I don't care.

A triumphant smile stretches across my face. "I did it," I whisper breathlessly and I hear Cato groan. A pair of boots stop in front of me and as I go to look up, I feel a sharp pain piercing my forehead and everything goes black.

* * *

While I am out, I am plagued with horrifying dreams of Prim dying. Over and over I am with her as she walks out onto the ice, the wind and snow blinding her and causing icy tears to seep from her eyes. I am with her as the ice starts to protest against her weight. I feel the unrest inside of her, the uncertainty of her actions, the nagging feeling that something is wrong.

I yell for her to turn back. She doesn't hear me. I try to grab her and pull her away, but I never seem to be able to reach her. I beg and plead for something to happen so she will be saved but nothing ever does.

In the end, it always happens the same way. The ice starts to crack and I feel the horror flood through her body. It's then that she turns her face to look at me. Her eyes are wide and there are tears frozen on her cheeks. Her lips tremble as she opens her mouth to whisper my name. It's then that I realize that I can help her- I can be the one to save her.

I take a step towards her, reaching to pull her to me, to get her away from the danger and its my weight that does it. As soon as I take my step, the ice cracks and I watch as the crack grows and grows, traveling straight for my little sister. Right as it reaches her feet, I look at her. Her face is full of betrayal and hurt.

"Why, Katniss?" She asks me with a voice saturated in pain. And then I am her and I feel the awful sensation of falling. She- no, I- look up and there Coin stands above me, watching me with a satisfied smirk on her face. The cold takes all thought away and I freeze, unknowing of how to comprehend this iciness. The current of the freezing water drags me towards the ice and I am helpless to do anything. I'm unforgivingly crushed against the ice and then sucked underneath.

It's here that I always struggle to wake up but am never able. Every time, I am dragged back into my nightmare. And even though Prim is the one who is drowning, I see and feel it all. I see the foggy water swirling angrily around me. I see the ice above my head and look at it in fascination as it distorts the objects on the other side, making them almost impossible to distinguish. I am captivated by the little pockets of air that have been trapped beneath the ice. In my desperation for oxygen, I press my mouth to the ice and try to inhale one of those small air pockets. Pain cripples me as water fills my lungs.

I hear the distorted laughter of Coin above me and it's then that the feeling sets in. I feel everything as the frigid water fills my nose and mouth, where it makes its way into my lungs, burning as it goes. I feel the absolute panic and terror of not having oxygen set in. My body floats upwards, scratching me against the underside of the rough and unforgiving ice. I turn, desperately pounding against the ice, begging to be allowed air. In my desperation, I start to claw frantically as my lungs spasm in protest. Black spots dance across my vision and start to encroach on me. Death comes quietly and swiftly and with it, I am released from Prim's point of view.

I watch as, with one last air bubble lazily floating from her mouth, her struggles stop. Her eyes grow distant as darkness engulfs us. After the blackness swallows us both, the nightmare starts again.

* * *

**AN: I know, it's been FOREVER! Sorry! Would you believe me if I told you that it's nothing personal and that I still love each and every one of you? I promise I'm not doing it on purpose! I'll try my best to make sure I update more often. Luckily, I know exactly what is happening next chapter so it'll be fairly easy to write. Plus, now that Prim is gone (THANK GOD), I'll be writing more. I don't know what it is about Prim but I just found her boring (which is why I never did her POV). This whole time, I couldn't WAIIIIIIT to kill her (I'm horrible- I know!). So yay! Prim is gone and we can get on with our lives. Also, I'm sorry it's a short chapter- especially after so long! Now, I HATE writing short chapters and this one was going to be longer but it just wasn't working out properly. I also just wanted you guys to know that I haven't died or given up on this darn story. Hopefully you enjoyed the little I gave you! Thank you guys so much for reading! I love you all!**


	19. Mind Tricks

**AN: I've decided to change the name of the story to Katniss' Downfall. The more and more I wrote this story, the more and more my characters went in a totally different direction than I had been planning. This resulted in the title needing to be changed. Sorry for any confusion this causes!**

Chapter Eighteen- Mind Tricks

When I'm finally able to emerge from my repeated nightmare, I am met with impenetrable darkness and the tinkling sound of water. The air smells of moisture and the wet coldness of it steals all the warmth from my body. The mustiness of it brings me back to my hunting days with Gale when we would have to hide out in a cave and wait for a storm to pass. I try to hear past the dripping of the water, trying to determine where I am. Somewhere nearby, I hear a metal clanging. It echoes around me, grating against my ears. Once it fades away, I listen again, trying to make out more noises but it is deathly silent.

Once I take stock of my surroundings, I focus my attention on myself. I'm laying down and from the feel of it, I'm lying on moist rock. I grunt as I shift, stone jutting uncomfortably into my back. My head is pounding but besides that nothing hurts.- nothing except my heart.

Images of Prim's death flash in my mind and guilt wracks my body. I feel my eyes burning as the tears overwhelm me. Since Prim had died, I haven't had any time to mourn her. I was too intent on ending Coin. Sobs shake my body and I let them. I cry as I come to terms that my little, innocent sister is now gone for good. I also try to come to terms with the fact that it was all my fault- After all, Coin had warned me. She had told me that it was my job to make sure that the citizens didn't hate Cato. It had been my responsibility to make him look good- to stop discontent for the games from spreading and I had failed. As punishment, my innocent sister had been sent into the games where she was murdered.

I don't know how long I cry for but eventually my tears run out and all I'm left with is a massive headache and a stuffy nose. Calming down, I roll over, shivering in the dark dampness. Goosebumps race across my skin and in an attempt to keep warm; I pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs. I gently rock back and forth, sniffling pathetically.

I hear a low chuckle and freeze, my eyes probing the darkness for the source. With a quiet click, light floods the room. I throw my hands up, shielding my eyes from the blinding light. I squint against its harshness and slowly everything comes into focus. A jolt of surprise runs through me as I realize that I seem to be in some sort of old medieval dungeon.

The space I'm in is made up of entirely uneven rock and is completely bare of any kind of furniture. I look down and find that I have been put into a plain, light blue hospital gown and if the cold air that is attacking my back is any indication; I would have to say that it has a tie up back. Slowly I lower my hands from shielding my eyes and am paralyzed by shock when I realize that I'm not alone.

Coin sits on the only chair in the middle of the room. She has a look of pure triumph and amusement on her face as she takes me in.

"You're dead," I whisper, my voice containing more than a hint of panic in it. Coin laughs.

"Did you really think that you could kill me, Katniss?" she asks me, her voice condescending. When I don't respond, she slowly shakes her head, tisking me. "You should know better than that. My best bodyguard took the knife in my place. But it is very interesting that you even thought it possible to kill me. Do you really think I would be out where anyone could get at me?" She waits once again for me to respond, but I don't.

I stay silent as I formulate a plan. I need to end her once and for all. My eyes scan the room, searching for any kind of weapon that I could use against her. Coin speaks, drawing my attention away from my weapon search and back to her.

"Oh, Katniss, it really is funny to see how naive you are. Don't you realize that it was all a trap? I knew that as soon as your precious sister died, you would be thirsting for my blood. I knew you would do something stupid and I wanted you to."

I must have looked confused at her words because she explains herself.

"Katniss, I have secret tunnels all over the Capitol. It's a safety precaution- and probably the only good thing that Snow put into effect. I can't just mingle with everyday people. I was at that auditorium for a reason- to force your hand. Tell me, did it ever occur to you that it was a little too easy? Didn't you find it odd that you simply ran across me?" she prods me.

Anger courses through me as I take in her words. She's right- it was too easy. I should have recognized it for what it was- a trap. I can't stay quiet any longer. "Why?" I ask her, my voice shaking. "Why are you so against me?!" I ask her, my voice rising as pain spills into it.

The smile slips off of Coin's face as she grows serious. Her eyes narrow at me, her shoulders hunching forward. "There can only be one victor. Snow's decision to give you to his grandson did great damage to this country. It caused unrest and uprisings. What he did has changed everything. Now people will expect that kind of leniency and I will not allow it."

"If that's true, then why didn't you kill me right away? Why wait all this time? Why drag my family into it too?"

Coin nods as if she knew I was going to ask this. "I didn't kill you right away because you hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't your fault Snow didn't let you die. I couldn't just kill you for any reason- the people wouldn't like that. But if you did something horrible and were sentenced to death for it- that would be a different story. That is why I brought your family into this. I knew that they would be the only way to make you do something stupid."

Silence settles between us and I let my eyes wander about the room again, searching for a weapon that I can use against her. I take in the uneven surfaces of the rock that make up my dungeon. I frantically search with my eyes, hoping that there's a loose rock somewhere that I could bash her head in with. No such luck- there aren't any loose rocks in here.

_They don't need to be loose,_ my mind whispers mysteriously to me and I frown, trying to figure out what it's trying to tell me. _You don't need a loose one to smash her head in,_ it insists as a scenario plays out in my head. I'm on top of Coin who is lying on her back on the ground. I have her head in my hands, and I'm pounding it relentlessly into the floor. Blood is getting everywhere- spreading over the floor and spraying up into my face.

I smirk to myself, content that I have a plan and turn my attention back to Coin as she starts to talk. I'll let her talk for the moment, completely satisfied knowing that she won't be leaving here alive. I'll just have to wait for the right moment.

"You know, I thought that you would have figured out that I always come out on top. I did when Snow was in power and, of course, I did with you. Now, I know that there was a major oversight the other night during the interview. You having those knives should have never happened. In fact, I'll have to have a word with Cato about that. He ensured me that he had disposed of all your weapons."

Pain courses through me at this betrayal.I should have known better than to trust Cato at all. I mean, of course I knew that he didn't want me going after Coin but I never thought that he was reporting back to her.

Coin interrupts my thoughts, "but it didn't matter, did it Katniss? When it comes down to it, your stupid sister went into the games and I had the most enjoyable time killing her," she pauses here to laugh cruelly and it pushes me over the edge.

All thoughts of waiting for the perfect moment fly from my head as I lunge at her, a feral growl erupting from deep within my chest. I see a satisfied grin stretch her face as I charge at her. The smile should have stopped me but my anger and hurt are too great. They make me emotional and an emotional Katniss doesn't pay any heed to warning signs. If her smile isn't warning enough, the fact that she doesn't move from her chair should be. She simply sits there, watching me with amusement clearly written all over her face. This only serves to anger me more. As I draw close to her, I hear a faint buzzing. Ignoring it, I jump, aiming to tackle her from her chair.

Pain stuns me as I hit some sort of invisible force field and am thrown back. My head spins wildly and Coin's laughter fills the air. There's a ringing in my ears and I feel as though someone is sitting on my chest.

"You district peasants really are stupid," she chuckles, "did you really think I would come in here without any protection at all?"

"What do you want from me?" I moan.

"Ultimately? I want to destroy you. To break you even more than Cato ever did," she says simply.

"And what of my fan base? What do they think of you torturing me?" I press her, my eyes flashing in a challenge.

"They know nothing of it. As far as my citizens are concerned, there was an assassination attempt on me. We have no suspects but are conducting an investigation."

I laugh at this. "You honestly expect them to believe that? When I tried to kill you, I was in a room full of your precious citizens," I spit out and she shrugs.

"They are mindless drones. They believe what I tell them to believe," she replies as she gets up from her chair. She starts to walk out of the dungeon and pauses just at the gate. "Let the games begin, Katniss," she says and then she's gone.

_Why does she hate me so much?_ I ask myself but I have no answer.

I'm not alone for more than minute when a peacekeeper with a dart gun walks in. He aims the gun at me and I don't even have time to protest before a dart flies into my shoulder. I rip it from my arm, stumbling to my feet, I take an unsteady step towards the peacekeeper and everything goes black as I hit the ground with an unforgiving thud.

I don't know how long I go in and out of consciousness for. I briefly wake up when heavily armed peacekeepers bring some furniture into the room. I groggily try to stay awake to make out what they are bringing in, but I'm pulled back under. Multiple times, I can hear Coin standing nearby talking to someone about me, but I'm too gone to comprehend exactly what she is saying. Towards the end of my stint of unconsciousness, I am able to open my eyes enough to see an old fashioned TV being rolled into my cell. Coin stands at the entrance of the cell, talking to a mean looking man.

"I know that she wasn't the only one in on it, Bram. You're the head of security. Get to the bottom of it or you'll be joining Miss Everdeen."

When I wake next, I'm alone and starving. As I go to look at the wound on my shoulder, I notice the new additions to my cell. The TV sits in the middle of the room and above it, I see that some heavy chains have been bolted into the ceiling. At the end of the chains there are thick, leather handcuffs. Dread settles in my stomach. I know that they can't be used for anything good. Near the entrance, there is a shelf with whips hanging from it. I get up and slowly make my way towards them. As I reach out a hand to touch one, I feel a sharp pain in my hand. A barrier has been put up around the whips- probably to prevent me from using them against Coin. Turning back to the TV, I notice that a tray of food has been left there.

Walking up to it, I want to laugh- in fact I would if I wasn't so hungry. There's a piece of bread and a small cup of disgusting looking soup. Looks like starvation is on Coin's agenda. With a sigh, I grab the tray and go to sit against the wall. Right as I'm about to take a bite out of the bread, the TV in the middle of the room clicks on and deafening noise fills the room. Flinching, I look at the TV and freeze. Images of Prim flash over the screen, showing me clips of her in the games. I turn away, not wanting to see this, but I can't escape the noise- her voice echoes in my head, stripping layers of my heart away until it's nothing. Angrily, I pick up my cup of soup and throw it at the screen, just wanting it to stop. It doesn't and soon, I can't even stomach the thought of taking a small bite of bread. Giving up on eating, I curl up on the hard ground, my hands over my ears and try to block it all out.

Prim's journey through the games and ultimate death repeat over and over for what seems like weeks. As each day passes, it gnaws away at me until I fear I am about to go crazy. Food is left for me in my cell but I can't eat it- not with the sound of Prim's death echoing all around me. I try my best to ignore it but soon I can't tear my eyes away from it. I'm sucked into the footage and I stare at it day after day. I get lost in it, forgetting about everything else. I don't pay attention to the hunger that is gnawing away at me or the fact that I haven't slept in days.

When suddenly the TV turns off one day, I lose it. I bang on it, trying to get Prim back. It doesn't turn on. Soon I'm screaming as sobs shake my body. I wiggle the TV back and forth, frantically trying to get it to work. When it doesn't, I push it away in my anger and it falls to the floor, the screen cracking. This makes me cry even more. I fall to the ground beside it, trying to pull the bulky thing onto my lap, rocking back and forth as I cry.

I guess that I eventually fall asleep because the next thing I know, I'm being woken up. A peacekeeper hauls me to my feet dragging me to the center of the room. The TV has been pushed against the wall. He drops me to the ground and then reaches up for the handcuffs. I panic. I leap to my feet, trying to get away from him but he simply grabs my hair and yanks me against him. With a grunt, he stretches my hands above my head and effectively straps me into the leather handcuffs. It's not long before my shoulders start to protest against being chained up like this. He pulls on the chains, lifting me up into the air until only the tips of my toes touch the ground. I haphazardly dangle there, watching as the peacekeeper paces around me, looking at me with a satisfied grin on his face. The peacekeepers walks behind me and I can feel him caressing my skin where my gown is open. His hand travels down lower and I try to jerk away from him, the chains clinging together as I sway in the air. He simply chuckles and comes to face me.

"You know you killed my buddy?" he comments blandly, looking at my face for a reaction. I don't say anything. I know that anything I do say will just backfire. "What? You have nothing to say?!" he screams at me, taking a menacing lunge towards me. I flinch away from him and he laughs cruelly as he walks up to me, leaning close to whisper in my ear. "This is for Trexler," he breathes and then slams the butt end of his gun into my stomach. I sputter, spit flying from my mouth as I trying to catch my breath.

"That's enough, Rye," Coin barks harshly as she slides the gate to my holding cell open and steps into the room. For a moment I'm stunned that she has protected me but then that moment ends. "Save it for later," she says as she walks over to admire her collection of whips. When she turns to face me, her eyes are filled with longing.

"Don't you just love this room? I had it made just for instances such as this. I really do find myself drawn to the barbaric ways of our ancestors. I think that they had the right idea. I guess that is why I like the games so much. It reminds me of the kind of entertainment they enjoyed," she drifts off into silence, getting lost in her thoughts of a way of life long gone.

"Now, Katniss, it seems that from your previous actions that there may be an uprising in the making, and I can't imagine that you are or were the mastermind behind my assassination attempt. So I'm here to ask you, who else was involved."

"You're wasting your time," I grit out between my teeth, "as you love to point out, my assassination attempt on you was quite pitiful. If there were other people behind it, do you think it would have been so half assed?" I question her and she studies my face intently.

"You know, I almost believe you, Katniss, I really do. In fact, I do believe that you were acting by yourself. However, I don't believe that you don't know anything about a rebellion." Coin slowly walks behind me and it goes against all my instincts to let her out of my sight.

"I honestly don't know anything, Coin," I argue desperately, wanting to keep Finnick safe. "I haven't had time to talk to anyone about a rebellion or uprising. I was too busy trying to keep my sister alive."

"Something you failed miserably at," Coin sniffs as she walks back into my line of sight. I see her glance at her whips and I can feel cold fear steal through me. "You know, Katniss, I could make this so much worse for you. But from your track record, I know that you're not one for self-preservation. No, you're more into protecting your family. Now, wouldn't you just hate for something horrible to happen to your mother back home. Or what about the baker boy I've heard about?"

My stomach drops. I need to tell her something- anything to keep them safe. I groan, thinking of Finnick. If I tell Coin, she'll kill him.

_You can save them all_, my mind whispers quietly to me.

_Save them all?_ I think to myself. _How am I supposed to do that?_

_Lie_, my mind replies simply.

"Okay, look, I'll tell you what I know. It's not much and I really don't think it'll help at all but I'll tell you. Just don't hurt anyone else," I tell her and wait for her to agree before talking.

"I won't hurt anyone who is _innocent_," she replies, stressing the word innocent. I nod. Message received loud and clear. She basically just told me that the person I rat out will be murdered.

"Someone did approach me about rebelling against you but I don't know who," I say, hoping that she'll buy this lie. "I was in the sauna and through the fog, someone talked to me- telling me of the rebellion. They told me that they could help me get revenge on you. But I wasn't interested in a rebellion though. I wasn't even interested in killing you at that point. I only wanted my sister to be safe and when she died, I simply lost it and went after you," I tell her and she stares at me, an unreadable look on her face. She is quiet for a long time, the silence eating away at my nerves.

"I don't believe you," she hisses and turns to face the peacekeepers waiting outside of my cell. "Bring it in," she says simply and moves to the side of the room to watch.

Two peacekeepers drag in a table with straps attached to it. I recognize Rye from earlier and he gives me a wicked grin before getting back to leave the room briefly and return with buckets and a towel. I turn back to Coin to find that she is watching me and I know that she is trying to see if I have figured out what is about to happen. She must not be happy with what she sees because anger clouds her face.

"Get her set up!" she barks angrily.

I don't even bother to fight them. I simply let them unhook me from the handcuffs, moaning in pain as the blood flows through my arms again. My shoulders scream at me and I wish I could massage the pain from them. The peacekeepers throw me on the table and quickly strap me to it. Fear thrums through my body but I try my best not to let it show. I don't want to give Coin the satisfaction. The peacekeepers back away and I can see Rye grinning through his helmet. Behind him, I see a man step into the room. Something seems familiar about him but I unable to place where I know him from.

"Katniss, tell me," Coin says as she slowly walks towards me, "have you ever heard of waterboarding?"

_Oh fuck_. The fear I had felt before was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. It beat relentlessly against my skull. It pounded through my veins. It burned in my eyes and spilled down the side of my face. I had heard of waterboarding- I had seen it before. Back in District 12, Gale had once been water boarded by a peacekeeper when he was caught with illegal game. Gale told me all about it afterwards- about the panic and the absolute fear that took hold of his body. About how his survival instincts took over as he tried unsuccessfully to get away from the torture. He had actually cried when telling me about it and that was what had affected me the most. Gale had always been so strong and dependable, and to see him broken was heartbreaking to me.

Through my tears, I see Coin leaning over me. "Ah, I can see by your reaction that you know exactly what waterboarding is," she murmurs happily. "Bram," she says as she turns to the newcomer in the room.

It's not until I hear his name that I realize who it is. The head of security steps forward, a questioning look on his face.

"Please place the towel over her face," she orders and I can't help it. I kick my legs and wiggle back and forth, desperately trying to get free. I couldn't do this. I had been through and survived many things but this- this I couldn't do. I start to cry, hating myself for giving her this reaction but my absolute terror would not allow me to sit idly by as this happens.

As the towel is dropped on my face, I lay still, trying desperately to calm my racing heart.

_You'll be okay. You'll be okay. You'll be okay,_ I chant madly to myself. _She won't kill you. She wants information from you. You'll be okay. It'll be over soon._ My breathing is heavy, my heart pounding as I wait.

I'm not prepared. I don't think I could ever be prepared for what happens to me. The water hits the towel, seeping through and goes into my mouth and nose. I inhale in surprise and start to choke on the water. All calming thoughts fly out the window as my body realizes that I don't have access to oxygen. I buck on the table, trying desperately to get away. I choke and cough, trying to clear my airway but still the water comes. It seems to never end and just when spots start to dance across my vision it stops and the towel is roughly shoved up so that I can breathe.

_This is what Prim went through_, I think as I cough up the water from my lungs and start to gasp for air. I start to sob as I realize just how scared Prim must have been. My dreams where I experienced her death were nothing to what I had just experienced and knowing that Prim went through something very similar tore away at my heart.

"Tell me, Katniss! Who is in on the rebellion?!" Coin demands loudly; I groan as I roll my head to look at her.

"I don't know," I croak, gloating to myself at the disbelief written across her face. My gloating stops with her next word.

"Again," she grunts and the towel is once again placed over the lower half of my face and the torture starts again.

I don't know how long this goes on for. I black out a few times and each time, Coin simply waits for me to gain consciousness before continuing on with her torture. After what must be hours of agony, Coin sighs and steps back from the table.

"That's enough for today," she says as she wipes a hand across her sweaty forehead. I lay gasping on the table, trying not to pass out. "We'll try again tomorrow," she says simply and walks away.

I would groan but I feel like my throat is on fire. _I can't handle any more of this,_ I admit to myself as Rye unstraps me from the table and pushes me to the floor.

"See you tomorrow, sweetheart," he purrs and in that moment, I wish I was back in District 2 with Cato. _That _I could handle.

**AN: Want more Catoniss action but don't want to wait for me to update? Check out Sundragons9's story Aftermath. I know all the dirty details about where the story is going and let me tell you... IT'S FRIGGIN AWESOME AND SO IS SHE SOOOO... GO READ IT! :3**


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